You make me, me
As much as I can possibly be
Please don’t take that away from me.

When you are young
They tell you to guard your heart
Fear the boy who will put it through the shredder
Stomp on it
Spit in it
But they do not tell you to fear
The man who thinks no means go harder
Move faster
Scream louder
It seems like your fear is supposed to stop at fifteen
Until you learn that guarding your heart means guarding your body
Until you learn not to walk alone at night
Even though there is a better chance you will be ***** by a friend
Than a stranger
This is not a "protect yourself because you are weak" poem
Since when has protecting yourself worked anyway?
No, you are strong
Our bodies are turn into fists that punch through the drywall
As he throws you around, you curl up into yourself
This is not a "protect ourselves because we are weak" poem
Since when has protecting ourselves worked anyway?
No, we are strong
I become the body hovering above your ghost
As he stops briefly but continues to shove himself inside of me
This is not an "all men are evil" poem
Since when was this conversation about that anyway?
No, you are good
You are the phone call at four AM
You are the "can I do anything to help you?"
You are the "it isn't your fault"
My heart did not break because of emotional teenage angst
It broke because a man knew he could snap my body in half
It broke because she was told she was not credible
It broke because there will always be a man
Who holds my power in the very thread of his being
And he knows the consequences will be minimal.
When you are young,
They will tell you to guard your heart
Instead,
Rip yourself open
Fight the system which allows this to happen
Go before the judge and let yourself reveal the most intimate parts of this misogynistic
This oppressive
This **** culture
Fully exposed.

I swear I will not
overthink
you
this time.

I will not act
on my feelings,
only because I
care about
one of my best friends.

We have not
stopped
talking.

Constantly
back
and
forth.

I think you could
be good for me,
but we will never
know because
I care about
her
too much.

For all the orphans who ever wished
on birthdays, and holidays
they’d be the one that is picked
Instead of left alone in silence
with their doll at six.

The truth is I have no Father
I have
No Mother
I have no sisters, or any brothers…

I have no family just my doll
I don’t think she,
or, God can hear my prayers at all.

I need a Mother someone to watch over me
a Mother -- to comfort me, and to keep me from any harm
I want to be cradled, and held
and, to cry in my Mothers arms
I need a Mother to love me through all my storms
to tell me that there will be sunshine up ahead soon
heading toward my rocky shores
I need a Mother to give me guidance like a light
to give me hope, and love during all my darkest nights.

For all the orphans who live in this world today
who have just a doll to listen to what they have to say...
You're not alone because I am just like you
My heart is always with you -  forever, and a day.

I followed you to the river
Because you promised to keep me afloat.
We stopped at the deepest point
And you let me go
And I was sinking
Sinking
And I was drowning
Drowning
The last thing I saw
Was your face looking at me
Through the ripples in the water.

Bend it till it breaks
Use it till its gone
people, places, objects
pummeled in our palms

Value losing virtue
Appreciation, depreciating
Death hovers above you
Bony fingers reach for greeting

So work it till its worthless
then cast it away
people, places, objects
treated all the same.