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 Jan 2021 Celwyn Evans
misha
your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you
if only i could chase you with pizza but shots don't work like that
 Jan 2021 Celwyn Evans
leeaaun
Doubts
can consume your soul,
destroy your
dreams
and
every
inch
of your hope.
“You have to move, get up.”
“I don’t want to.”
“This is sad you need to get over yourself.”
“I’m broken, and I don’t think I can be fixed.”
“Then fake it. Get up and put on a smile.”
“It hurts too much; I just want to cry.”
“No crying! It’s not worth it.”
“But I just can’t let go…”
“You have to move on. It’s the only way.”
“Please, all I want is five minutes to let it all out.”
“You’re pathetic. Fine. Five minutes.”
“Thank you,” said the heart.
“You’re welcome,” said the mind.
And the heart and mind cried together.
Just for five minutes.
LHB 2019
 Dec 2020 Celwyn Evans
MB
Loving you was my self harm,
your words like a blade upon my skin,
making marks on my memories,
and tearing me apart by each cut.

So I became addicted to the high
but now with you gone,
I recreate the memories on my wrist-
but its not the same self-inflicted.

And I lied that day,
I said I did not love you,
but loving you was killing me
and losing you is my recovery.
Yes, you were a bad little habit-
but you were my bad little habit
I am banging on the walls
Loud, angry thuds echo around me
I am screaming for you to see me
But you tell me you can’t
You can’t see through the walls,
The walls you claim that I have built
My legs tremble as I fall
The skin on my knees curl around the gravel
And I wonder
As you walk away
Why can’t you see me through these glass walls?

— The End —