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Lily Barrett Apr 2021
I’m ok, I swear it.
(I’m lying.)
Don’t look at me like that.
(I know you’re seeing through this.)
Yes, that’s my real smile and no (*******) I don’t want to talk about it.
(Because you don’t want to hear it.)
There’s nothing to talk about!! I’m doing just fine.
(I’m really not.)
I don’t look sad this is my normal face.
(I just spent 20 minutes crying in the shower.)
Can you just leave me alone?
(Please don’t. I don’t want to be alone.)
No, you don’t need to stay, thank you though.
(Insist on it, please mean it.)
Okay, see you tomorrow!
(Maybe not.)
Just written to describe the bad days.
Lily Barrett Dec 2020
Unfocused and lazy
Tired and vision hazy
Somehow they never see
Who you could be
You’re too strong
You’ve waited too long

Now all you do
Is just to get through
You cant seem to think
And thoughts always sink
Into the black of your mind
Harder and harder to find

Caffeine running fast
The high doesn’t last
Slowly slowing down
Just starting to drown
Lily Barrett Sep 2020
Waiting for the drugs to kick in
Waiting for them to knock me out
Winning the battle is all its about

Demons that destroy and wreck
Beat me to the bone
And wring my neck

I want to be free
I want to be left alone
I beg and I plead
Yet here I am,
Still me

So I take the pills
I think I need
A battle that many of us, unfortunately, go through all day long.
Lily Barrett Jul 2020
Do you have a beast who lives
In the deepest depths of you
Wanting to split you in two
Making you want to hide
Does this terrible demon
Make its way into your legs
Taking away strength
falling drop
wondering when it’ll stop
Does it crawl in your stomach
And does it rip your guts in two
Nothing but a knot of flesh
Sinking down
Does it crawl into your chest
Grabbing tight hold of your heart
With its meaty little hands
squeezing more
until the love is no more
Does it get bored of bruising
Scampering into your throat
Grappling for one small breath
Choking clogged
Cntil you can barely breathe
Scratching its way to your eyes
Irritating until your
Vision is slowly blurring
The room is spinning too fast
Does this monster torture you
Feeling like there’s no escape
Crying because you’re lonely
Screaming because you’re just done
Never ceasing any tears
The strength you thought you had
Fading faster
Feeling like a cloudy gray
You are losing the battle
Admitting the loss of you
The monster has won today
If you read all the way through this long one- thank you so much. I spent a long long time on it.
Lily Barrett Apr 2020
I’m not okay
Maybe this time
It's okay to say
I’m not doing well
But none of you
Could ever tell
I’m dying inside
It would be better
If I just cried
Losing control
My tears blurring
Taking their toll
I’m not alone
But my eyes are
Hardened like stone
I’m not angry
Only sorry
That I am me
Lily Barrett Feb 2020
You cry into the night
Your eyes so puffy, you can no longer see
Clutching your pillow with all your might
But it's not who you want it to be
Closing your eyes and imagining with all you’ve got
That she’s still really there
And hasn’t left you and forgot
That she said she would care
You’re so mad it's consuming
But the sorrow is your undoing
For anger doesn’t bring tears
Except when the sadness appears
Let’s cry and cry and shout
And just get it all really out
Maybe it’ll feel a bit better
When you can just
forget her
written for a friend
Lily Barrett Feb 2020
Who wins in a fight
Death or War
Who would make it into the light
Who would fall to the floor

Would Death with his scythe
Carve War into pieces
Would he scream and writhe
As the fighting ceases

Would War with his ire
Crush Death in his hands
And dance around his pyre
As victorious War stands

Would Death live without War
Would War live without Death
Or would they simply be
No more
I saw a prompt that said asked: "Who would win in a fight; death or war?" I think that one cannot live without the other. What do you think?
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