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I am of my mother
My tired hands shake
When the days are long
Letting others take
Even if I'm not strong
Unable to truly hate
Shoulders that carry
Insurmountable weight

I am of my father
Stubborn and obstinate
A ridiculous bother
Against a perceived threat
With a mind that curdles
When it is bored
And a heart that hides
When it is adored
LHB 6/8/23
Who told you
To handle me
Like a carpenter handles a saw?
I am made of glass
and I swear
If you love me
I will break.
I will shatter
into a million tiny pieces
and never be the same.
Repaired things are only weaker
never stronger
and I, my friend,
have been loved
too many times.
LHB 6/3/2023
Lily Barrett Apr 2021
I’m ok, I swear it.
(I’m lying.)
Don’t look at me like that.
(I know you’re seeing through this.)
Yes, that’s my real smile and no (*******) I don’t want to talk about it.
(Because you don’t want to hear it.)
There’s nothing to talk about!! I’m doing just fine.
(I’m really not.)
I don’t look sad this is my normal face.
(I just spent 20 minutes crying in the shower.)
Can you just leave me alone?
(Please don’t. I don’t want to be alone.)
No, you don’t need to stay, thank you though.
(Insist on it, please mean it.)
Okay, see you tomorrow!
(Maybe not.)
Just written to describe the bad days.
Lily Barrett Dec 2020
Unfocused and lazy
Tired and vision hazy
Somehow they never see
Who you could be
You’re too strong
You’ve waited too long

Now all you do
Is just to get through
You cant seem to think
And thoughts always sink
Into the black of your mind
Harder and harder to find

Caffeine running fast
The high doesn’t last
Slowly slowing down
Just starting to drown
Lily Barrett Sep 2020
Waiting for the drugs to kick in
Waiting for them to knock me out
Winning the battle is all its about

Demons that destroy and wreck
Beat me to the bone
And wring my neck

I want to be free
I want to be left alone
I beg and I plead
Yet here I am,
Still me

So I take the pills
I think I need
A battle that many of us, unfortunately, go through all day long.
Lily Barrett Apr 2020
I’m not okay
Maybe this time
It's okay to say
I’m not doing well
But none of you
Could ever tell
I’m dying inside
It would be better
If I just cried
Losing control
My tears blurring
Taking their toll
I’m not alone
But my eyes are
Hardened like stone
I’m not angry
Only sorry
That I am me
Lily Barrett Feb 2020
You cry into the night
Your eyes so puffy, you can no longer see
Clutching your pillow with all your might
But it's not who you want it to be
Closing your eyes and imagining with all you’ve got
That she’s still really there
And hasn’t left you and forgot
That she said she would care
You’re so mad it's consuming
But the sorrow is your undoing
For anger doesn’t bring tears
Except when the sadness appears
Let’s cry and cry and shout
And just get it all really out
Maybe it’ll feel a bit better
When you can just
forget her
written for a friend
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