Death told her
           her life should end
and he was her friend

Calmly, she stole my gun
     she walked outside in the sun
pulled the trigger, set the mood
barrel to her head to conclude

I saw her head come undone
,,, Reached down, for my gun
Eyed the chunks in her hair
Now to my head |
                               |I draw a rose there.

Losing you, is kinda level of stress a li'l too high from my saturation.

From where to start,
And where can i end.
I used to write poetries
I used to dance while words sang,
They used to be my best friends,
And now they're gone.

I don't know how to express,
I don't know how to rhyme,
It feels like i've lost the feeling,
Like i've lost love of my life.

Lost or replaced, a question remains,
Maybe replaced by a never ending pain.
This pain stops me from writing,
This pain has left me with nothing,
Either it makes me feel itself,
Or it makes me feel nothing.

I don't deserve to be loved,
I don't deserve to live,
I've nothing to give in return,
I'm just holding on to these noisy breaths.

I slit my wrists, i slit my hands,
I slit my thighs, i slit my skin,
Not to shake hands with death,
But just a try to say a firm 'hello' to life.

And maybe some of you care about me.
And don't want me to die.
And feel a bucket full and flowing and flowing kinda pain,
If i die.
Maybe some of you would stare blankly at the wall,
Regret a few words of yours and miss me.
Maybe some of you would go out of your way to get me back.
Maybe some of you are just my mommy and daddy.
Maybe you love me at times,
And maybe you contribute to my depression at times.
But one thing remains,
You're my parents and I, I'm your child.
And losing your child ain't easy, no?
And maybe if i'm holding my heavy breaths,
the reason are you.
I know I'm a bad child,
And by choosing suicide over you,
I don't want to be the worst.

Maybe if you people were are as careless as you're today after my death too,
And be least bothered of my feelings as you're today after my death too.

I'd have died long ago.

"Aren't you tired of feeling the pain again and again.
Looking for the lost pieces,
You know lost things never find their way back, right?
Don't you feel worn out of stretched skin and aching muscles.
You know its making you look pale and fragile, right?
Aren't you fed up of looking for long lost happiness.
You know its not coming back, right?
Don't you feel sick of being desperate for just warmth and love.
You know they don't exist, right?"

"You need to do something other than getting hurt all the time."

"I know, I know.
I'm trying."

"How do you write so beautiful creative lines? The things you write, i can actually feel them. Trust me you build homes for long lost nomads, and decorate them so gracefully with your words.",someone said.

Listening to him she sighed, this wasn't any sigh of relieve but a sigh of anxiety and Frustration building up in her mind, but she chose to remain calm. She took a deep breath, a breath of disappointment and sadness.
She looked up to him.

"You know what people have fears and so do I. Some are afraid of clowns, some of spiders or heights. While some fear the dark. But I, I fear people feeling the as same i do. Every time i miss him, i feel my lungs burning empty, my heart hitting the chest so hard that it would break my ribs and rip apart my skin. There's a void in my head, a hollow black hole reaching deep inside my soul, slowly swallowing all my hopes and dreams. And no matters if its 3:00 in the noon, or 3:00 am, i feel the same, i feel a vacuum enduring my happiness, and I, I feel nothingness.
I question myself sitting in my room "where I'm?". On getting no answer i slender my fingers pressed into the skin of my forehead. I take on a sharp razor to slit my skin, drawing beads of blood. I try to calm myself, but soon the anxiety turns up into panic. And i get lost." she paused and sighed fighting back her tears.

"you can't feel me, you're barely aware of the words i write, you haven't faced my demons yet. And i wish you never will." she said.
Just when she was about to give up and cry, she relaxed and smilingly lit up her face to a person she truly never was and will never be.