As the tears are drying
And the heart stops hurting
And the love starts fading





*She also stops writing

You ain't my master, and I won't commit to you as long as you are the only loved one I'm left with.

I had a bestfriend.
She used to keep my sercets.
She used to be my constant.
And one day,
Depression took her place.

I HAVE A FANTASY TO TELL.
The last day, I'll be lying in bed, the room won't be familiar with white walls and some machines around, one of them showing my heartbeats drifting slowly and slowly towards silence. When there will be only one door left, and death will be waiting to greet me ahead.
Apart from my own noisy breath there's nothing to be heard and then, there will be a sudden knock on the door. As I'll see the person, my senses will be robbed and replaced by a paralysing fear. A fear of "last time". "Stay with me, just a little more,
As Its time for destiny to close the doors.
Maybe it is the last time,
You are mine and i am yours." I'll whisper to you smiling and my eyes full of tears.
Adding on I'll say "l love you and I'm gonna love you forevermore". You'll ask me for a dance. And the music will play " Lag jaa gale, ke fir ye hasi raat ** na **, shayad fir iss janam mulaakat ** na **". Feared from all my fears I'll grab you more close, and we'll dance to live my eternity on toes. With no life left in my body I'll still move and I'll bring my face close to yours just to feel you breathe for the last time. I'll look into your eyes to look me there, and kiss your cheeks to bid goodbye with care.
As my eyesight will blur , my desperate arms will clutch you tightly, my eyes still there and i will feel myself blink, still instinctively moisturizing the organs I will have no use for. And then I'll realise my breath fading away, I'll close my eyes and rest my head on chest.
Slowly and slowly my body will calm down and this pain will come to rest. Embraced in your arms I'll drown to my last breath.

Hey best friend, I couldn't tell if its good to be with you or the things get worse off. But you are only thing i feel truly, when I'm alone in the dark or when I'm in the brightest sun surrounded by hundreds of unknowns. I like it here with you in the black, it's better than emptiness, trust me.
They say it can't rain forever, that there will come a time when it must cease, when the last drop will have fallen and no more will be left. But to me, I just don't care. I don't wait for that last drop. I am okey to be here, just staying in the cold, comfortably numb with you.
What i carry with me is heavy, and it gets heavier day by day. I don't want to carry it but I've no choice. It follows me like a shadow, sneaky reminder of where I'm, and how this place Just doesn't belong to me. It hits me like a rock and crushes me into pieces.
Shattered, broken, tired, I stand here struggling to keep breathing when my entire body seemed to sag with exhaustion. I for once again start collecting up the pieces to readjust them to their original places. So, I've thought of staying here with you, as its better to be sad than falling in a hollow where there's no end. Don't you think the same?
Day by day everything is growing in strength else than me. I wonder if things will get better but I no longer hope so. I am just inhaling and exhaling in the moments greeting the sun every next morning in a grief no less than bereavement.