A Love Letter to Lost Tattered Souls

I.

Why do I so desperately desire recognition
When I know full well glory is beyond time
Even hither
Praises too early gained would
Place one above all in the midst
Of the wheel of fate
Yet
Soon or later with only room to fall
And be crushed by the
Cruel reality
Of eventual and inevitable
Tedium

Unlike a life ever on the climb
Or of a timely return to the everlasting
That will be never be subjected to
The suffocating dread
Of such a loss
Of height

As
The roaring gale would always lose to
The ever-present calm wind
Vital yet unnoticed like the breath of being

And

II.

Why do I despair when my words
Don't glitter like gold
That would make wise men
Lament in fist-raising envy
And mock the children that
Don't understand them

When I know the truth are
In words that would move children
To tears of laughter
And laughter of comfort
As per The Word
That is equally
Ridicule by men
Of ashes and dust-
That will never understand-
Or remain upon-
This world-
As something beneath them-

Like the earth that supports
All living creatures
And the humble grass for lambs
To graze

Be the needed
Not the desired
But unnecessary

And


III.

Why would I feel shame to wail in despair
Beyond my control for a word of your love
When
What is love, without patience in suffering,
What is suffering without pain?
And what is pain without complaint?
There are truth and devotion in my lament
A testament of my bearing the constant silence
Yet still singing devotedly forever
For the suffering Nevermore

Love fearlessly your overlooked
Plain imperfections
And unbloomed seeds of poetry
Burrowed in the present land of a future
Undying forest
Far outlasting the abandoned and
Overgrown gardens of timely praises
That's now lost in maintenance
And translation

As with the minute storms
And only half-day suns
You don't want to plant your love
In bricks of spotless silver and gold
Nor do you want to bury them
In scorched earth
That have never greeted a
Raindrop or the
Stars

As summer fades
Fall has begun
Our once bright days
Now setting Sun
Uncertain what the future holds
Just know that I am getting old
For youth one does not get to keep
Through window blinds of life I peek
A path that's been filled with mistakes
I've walked alone but chose to take
My baggage with me where I went
Much money earned; much money spent
An epic track that seemed to reach
Earth's corners as I search and seek
For happiness with love and joy
These things I lost when just a boy
Were taken; someone stole from me
No safe to crack; there was no key
Defenses were not set in place
A child who had yet to face
Like Adam when bereft of sin
Attack that had struck from within
Where body fully left in tact
A shattered mind you won't get back
And over shoulders look for pieces
Equaled grains of sand on beaches
Traveled much, went far and wide
Blind to the circles spun inside
If challenges aren't met and faced
One can't expect to win a race
In life, with loss comes also gain
For cost brings lessons for our brain
All adding up to wisdom learned
So as time goes we can discern
This is the trade for youth with age
In our "life book" we write a page
Our bodies start becoming meek
Does not mean outlook that is bleak
As faculties get old and fail
Some ways our vessel is a jail
The footsteps made are less and less
But minds expand an endless breadth
A question though of great concern
is, What if someone never learns?
They pay the price; accept the cost
But in return there's only loss
There's no trade off or benefit
An idiot who is a twit
You'd almost feel some sympathy
For one pathetic and who's weak
Unless of course you realize
The suit he wears; tried on for size
No twisted arms; he was not fooled
All info given; went to school
Just sat and stared off into space
So much potential he would waste
Break-even point, where are you at?
Is it still forward or way back
There comes a point, true with all things
Sometimes it hurts the heart and stings
We realize the end has come
There's nothing more that can be done
All effort from here on, a waste
The money spent is better saved
Don't think of it as giving up
More simply that one's time is up
Life is a journey that's for sure
But may be one that is endured
Instead of riding off in glory
Constantly are saying "sorry"
Trying to right each mistake
There is no life; an endless chase
A dog who tries to catch his tail
A nonstop game of "try-and-fail"
You ask "Why should I even try?"
Pathetic tears to say 'goodbye'
I have one choice that I can make
That will erase all my mistakes
If I'm not here I can't ***** up
Forget "half-empty", there's no cup
The disappointment and the shame
No longer need to play that game
Sure people might feel bad at first
But don't forget; somehow subvert
In closing I can finally be
What all expected me to be
A hero or a champ who "wins"
Not loser who just fails and sins
So tears don't cry (and you may not)
I'd say that I had fought the fought
But you know that is one more lie
Don't need to add; just say 'goodbye'

Love that floats on the river grand
Ferry me away to a peaceful land

Trickles of hope happiness dares
Freedom currents carry my prayers

Perhaps happiness lies around the bend
Till then I’ll dream of days of when

©

I’m the only one with dirt on my hands,
I’ve been crossing my fingers and snapping rubber bands.
And the fragments and pieces build into a story,
I transformed it to a thesis; the quality’s too low for me,
and I never set my expectations too high,
as should I, a lack of truth and abundance of lie.
My oh my and by the by.

There’s cracks in my ceiling and head,
there’s splinters in my skin and my bed,
there’s poison in the words I was fed.

I’m the only one missing pressure on my shoulders,
replaced the gentle weight with two heavy boulders.
I was wishing on satellites thinking they were stars,
breaking free from embraces thinking they were bars,
admiring fireflies not realizing they were cars
but I’m painfully aware of my own
scars.
I’m holding open seminars
to these memoirs of ours.

There’s cracks in my ceiling and shell,
there’s craters in my heart where I fell,
there’s holes in each story you tell.