Loaded, up on pills
Feel fake, don't feel real 
Think they found my Achilles heel
My weaknesses are drowning me out 
My secrets have started coming out
I'm so dosed up 
Can't tell the difference
Between reality and make believe
That has me questioning 
What I'm doing to myself 
Why can't I put these pills 
back on the shelf?
Why am I destroying myself
And everything I stood for
Maybe it's cuz of 
what burns me at the core
Maybe it's the reason I'm still sore
The reason I still feel torn
Pop another pill 
so I can't feel a thing
Numb the pain 
Crumble each part of me away
The past locked in my head 
How the **** am I not dead?
So much blood I've bled 
But razors aren't enough 
To rip my skin in half 
Make sure it scars 
To remind me of all the hurt
I've caused
To remind me of the fall
How do I even come back 
from this at all?

©2017 Written By Benji James

Your body's wearing thin 

Your hearts hanging by a string

You thought you'd take a leap

Off of the ledge 

Now your clinging to the edge

Only by a thread 

And everything you thought you are

Feels different than before

Can't seem to figure out what's changed

I'm a stranger to myself

Thought that was unlikely 

Thought I'd always understand me

But then again I've never been understanding 

Just a little demanding 

Expecting too much of myself

Trying to compare myself 
to everybody else

Look at the mess your in

Look at where you've been

Yeah let's go to hell and back

You need help 

But asking was something you lacked

Now looking back, 

I should have had some trust

In the ones, I loved 

Instead, I thought I could deal
with everything 
on my own 

Only to end up all alone

Can't seem to figure out what's changed
I'm a stranger to myself

Thought that was unlikely 

Thought I'd always understand me

But then again I've never been understanding 

Just a little demanding 

Expecting too much of myself

Trying to compare myself 
to everybody else

Oh my own mind is my cell

All these thoughts are my hell

And now your losing yourself

Following the trends of everybody else

Just be who you are

Be who you wanna be

Don't be somebody else

Don't sacrifice your originality

Just take a moment to see

You were created perfectly

Down to every fault and flaw

Down to every mistake you made

Because they made you who you are today

Can't seem to figure out what's changed

I'm a stranger to myself

Thought that was unlikely 

Thought I'd always understand me

But then again I've never been understanding 

Just a little demanding 

Expecting too much of myself

Trying to compare myself 
to everybody else

©2017 Written By Benji James

There is one thing in life you need,
it's love
When it hits you
It takes you over
It moulds you into all that you can be
That is how you know
You've found that special someone
And they are all you can see
they inspire you to be
The best that you can be
With tender hearts
full of love
We could be set free

I want you, I need you
To show me how to love you
We can feel it
It teases
To make us believe it
You've got to know it's true love
I want to kiss you
Feel you
Because you mean everything to me

Never leave me
Because I couldn't bare
To stand the pain
Because you've made me
Everything I am today
Without you, I have no hope
Because you're the one who helps me fly
You help me feel that fresh air
And I can't help but look at you in awe
In all that you are
Because when these feelings strike me down
Hit with cupids arrow now
I know there's not a care in the world but you and I

I want you, I need you
I feel you
You've always got me
Where you want me
You've got that special gift
I'm sensing it
You've got that special touch
To make feel everything at once

Don't ever let this end in tragedy
Because from the first time I saw you
You completely caught my eye
Felt everything heat up on the inside
Blood was rushing, face was blushing
Oh, girl, I think I've got a crush and
I was precautious
But you smiled with that tender touch
Your eyes and lips, they lit me up
Don't want this to ever stop
You grabbed me and wrapped me
In your enamoured heart
and I fell deeply in your love
Everything falls into place
When you're around
You keep me in control
and that's why I need you

I want you, I need you
I can't resist you now
I want your kisses
You're my princess
You're the only girl,
I need in my world
So stay with me
In the moments forever, together
You're all I see,
You bring out the best qualities in me
And that's why it's just you and I
Together for the rest of our lives
Because nothing beats true love

I won't be satisfied
Till something takes my life
Too many pills I've been prescribed
To many times I take more than I should
Something's gonna get me before my time
But that's not enough to fulfil my desire
I'm standing on a ledge on the side of a bridge may be
This might be the thing to quench this thirst
The adrenaline's pumping through my veins
My mind has been declared insane
But I won't be satisfied
Till I find a way off this ride
Cuz I've lost all desire to keep on fighting
I've just run out of thunder and lightning
Something's gonna get me before my time
Maybe super high speeds through deserted streets
Just hope I don't end up
Running into a tree
I'm still lost within my conscience
I've seen too many people come and go
Maybe I'm next to end up the mess
Maybe I'm next to be blessed
But something's gonna get me in the end
I don't need to pretend
I don't need another reality check
Cuz I know I'm getting reckless
And I know people couldn't care less
I don't feel the need to impress
I don't feel the same as I did
Something's gonna get me
I can feel it in my bones
This downward spirals coming to a close
Something inside me knows
There's not long left to go
Before everything in me explodes
Before everything shuts down from all the blows
Something in me knows
There's not much time left to go

©2017 Written By Benji James

For you, I'd crash through steel doors
For you, I'd break down castle walls
She knows how to break through 
She has nothing left to prove
And I've got nothing left to lose
Except for you 
I don't know what I would do
If I ever lost her too
I'd fight, I'd lie, I'd cry, I'd die
I'd stand by your side 
For the rest of my life 
We've seen the best through each other's eyes
We can read each other's minds
You'll always be suspended in mine 
We still have more memories to find
But tonight would you be mine?

©2017 Written By Benji James

He lays awake all night
She's just a silhouette in his mind
He pictures everything she does
While he's lying in the dark alone
Separated, two different people
But I still think of you
Every single night
Take all the pills
Swallow them down
Close your eyes
In nightmares, he will drown
Be careful what you wish for
Cuz what goes around
Always comes back around
And he thought a different town
Would stop him from thinking about you
Now I just can't hold my ground
Baby your taking me down, down, down
My heart still pounds, it pounds
Love is lost, you can't be found
Drinking just doesn't fix
The emptiness
In the pit of my stomach
I'm numb I feel nothing
There's only one healing tonic
Your love is all I want
Just give me what you got
Because your everything I'm not
Your love is all I want

©2017 Written By Benji James

This could be the night I overdose
In my mind, I've never been this close
Setting fire to everything I own
Tearing up the clothes
I've never felt so much desire
To drown in the flames of the fire
angels can't take me higher
There are no heroes left for hire
Don't tell me you love me your a liar
Here the battles of the choir
As I lay down my rights
Take these wings
Because I fear the fall
In the middle of flight
I'd rather stay planted on the ground
Blend into the blackness of the night
I'd rather fade into the midst of time
Return to dust beneath the raging sun
Cuz I know I can never be someone

©2017 Written By Benji James