I tell her
You been gone for a while
Why you keep disappearing?
She said I hate having to choose
Between being heartbroken
Or feeling nothing
Because I always choose
To be numb
And know it's wrong
Cuz I
Fell hopelessly in love
with the idea of you


Times with you
Were sweet escapes
From the madness
I call life
I've built walls
And kept my distance
But somehow you got past
My guard
Who knows where you'll end up
When my story is said and told
And I know that I've been told
But at the time I couldn't let you go
My heart goes cold
Because I know I've
Lost you to
Ghosts of my past

shall we meet
if only for the first time
though I feel we have danced
briefly
in times past
in the life I still live
in these fields of gold
songs that haunt me with their beauty

yet somewhere
over that rainbow of dreams
I sense you wait for me
when Autumn leaves fall
how dare I love a spirit
I do not know
yet it is my conviction that we are bound somehow
in time
after time

awaken me
in those darkest nights
in the absence of purity
before my soul is taken by the abyss
a whisper is all I need
whisper the word from that song...
somewhere

I have got a language
the language I speak in
the language I understand more
the language that I do not understand
the language people like
the language people do not like

There is a voice that comforts
that makes people move
that makes statutes move
that shakes the world more.

You need to learn it
to understand it better
but you even do not need to learn it
because you are born with it.

I may not be rich
I may not be skillful
Also, I know I am not that good

The vain hunted my heart
the sorrow was my breakfast
I cried in my bedsheets
people called me coward
I was an awkward in front of everyone



I have got a love
Now I have fallen in love
I have got someone
someone that hears me
someone that heals me
someone that knows my everything
someone I tell my secrets

I also understand hers merely
she gives me a good life.
She gave me life.

Poetry gave me life
It brought me back to life
Poetry understands my everything
Poetry is my love
Poetry is mu crush

I AM A POET IN LOVE WITH POETRY

In the AM I find myself feeling helpless,
Because of premonition,
Yes I credit this condition being the reason I’m in this position,
A vision of a woman who’s… reckless,
The extension of my friendship neglected,
Understand me, that choice was respected,
So from a distance she stands protected,
Let me reiterate, she could love another and I wouldn’t feel jealous,
But breathless, indeed because I’m restless,
True love is selfless; the cause of sending energy that isn’t returned is a decrease in wellness,
Such a sacrifice says over zealous,
If defined by actions, this attachment would reiterate selfish,
Soooo… should I help less?
An illogical choice; says an audible voice, “With awareness comes responsibility”; consequently  I’m optimally responsible for her well being, credited to my embryonic ability; psychic dreaming, I feel obligated to protect her from those that care less,
I happily embrace the cause of being connected,
The effects I experience were expected,
The benefits in feeling; source detected,
A guide to where the energy should be directed but still,
I feel helpless,
Because I cant force this ****,
Keeping calm,
Because divorce isn’t it,
Separation is my last resort, no need to abort, we had a kid,
And it wasn’t a *******,
Despite the games she thrown, she isn’t evil,
I just find it hard to understand how she live backwards,
In those exact words I’m thinking how she act first, like she pass words and catch worse,
Rash words, scratching my head like “ Re-Act, first?”
As if living abstract dictates the fundamentals of motion,
“It does.”
As if her mentality is physical because of emotions,
“Is love?”
This trilogy, it manifested after devotions,
“ENOUGH!”
Be real with me, this friendship rested when tested between time invested and emotions chosen that would motion an experience with oxytocin,
“WAKE UP!”
THERE! There’s the vision,
Lately I’ve been feeling like somethings missing,
But this vision foreshadowed a decision,
For what I saw was this description,
Blonde hair, red eyes; because you smoke a lot,
Aged me, red eyes, because I hoped and got,
A daughter, but I thought it was a boy,
You supported my thoughts because we learned it’s better to build than destroy,
And you knew what she’d be, how she’d look, how fast she’d grow,
Still unhappy, you left, completely booked, I was right there to love you both, like I was frozen, bounded by our creation and couldn’t let it go,
Your actions no longer affected me, for we made a home for she,
A body that housed a soul that would shine and never leave,
My side that is,
Premonition says we had a kid,
And it wasn’t a *******,
A vivid dream that needs to be dissected,
Either it happened or it didn’t ,
I need more clarity in this vision,
I need you, but you’re somewhere off being reckless,
Completely headless, heart restless,
I can’t help but feel… helpless.