This isn’t right.
My actions
Are devoid of light.
I run bluff after bluff,
So apparently,
Living life isn’t hard enough.
I act all high and mighty,
But if I’m asked in earnest,
I’ll get an early start on my nightly

Breakdown.

Every word
Every phrase
Every line
Every time
I pull a blank.

My mind is writing
From a odd feeling state
But it’s power is dwindling
And my drowsiness is kindling
For a inferno yet to come.

As the feathers fall
I collect them in reams.
The songbirds play
In my greatest of dreams.
You’re always there, with me,
But when I awake
I remember it is never to be.

Am I afraid to fall?
Or am I just in fear
Of unavoidable pain?

Love is the only sport
Where I won’t land on my feet.

I am a poet,
Who is only 16.
I am:
****** in speech,
Lacking a lot of street smart,
But in fact rather book smart.

A 16 year old boy,
Who watches cute anime,
Is incredibly weak to cute things,
Is buying an acoustic guitar...

And listens to metal music.
KORN, TOOL, Slipknot, and Disturbed
ICE NINE KILLS, shinedown, and Atreyu.
These wild bands help me get pumped up.

This is who I am, and will be
forever, if time allows
This is just me.
Another unknown poet.

On the other side,
you draw your life
Into its drowning existence.
You’re wielding a failed red thread,
Hoping the needle is sharp enough
To run your troubles through.

I watch in fear and worry,
As you become a stumbling mess.
This wall of glass
shattering into my veins
Whenever i make that first step.

I can’t remove what you’ve built.
I’m afraid of what you’ll do.

I can read and write,
therefore I can bleed and fight.
Bleeding through all the troubles thrown,
and fighting back with art, the art of English.

The problem, whatever it may be,
will not cause me to fail nor perish.
I shall move onward, towards the next sunrise.

My words are the vessel of my vitality,
so if push comes to shove I will rise,
above the death that encompasses my reality.

My words are a dull sword,
used to parry and ward,
not to slash and make bleed,
as the words of others over-do that deed.

Venomous voices
Tempting fate.

Listless lisping
And culling words.

Silence prevails,
Pervading my guilt...

And feeding my
Venomized thoughts.

Ebbing and flowing freely,
Unrestricted by man’s chains.
Nothing can ever stop this flow,
Or the luminescent lunar body
That raises these soulful waters.

There’s always someone
Who you’ll be able
To make smile.

So if you won’t believe in yourself,
Then believe in the me
That believes in you,
And your dreams can come true.

The shadows drape their silky cloak
Upon a sleeping shoulder.
They’ll take their child’s arm
And drag him to the beholder.

The light grows brighter,
But his shoulders grow colder.

I built a castle,
And burned it down,
Watching the ashes fall
And fireflies rise.

A paper castle of much grandeur
Can’t hold a candle to a flame.

It always seems to be those
Who think of themselves as weeds,
That end up being the prettiest roses.

A slice cuts at what’s free,
But now all is balanced.

As all things should be.

Three crows
Upon a line.
Three crows
Here to dine.

Lines are drawn
Upon the sky’s
Deep blue lawn.
The third crow
Was just a pawn.

Two crows,
Where’s the third?
Who knows.

A push back to reality,
A play full of comity,
And a couple of songs,
Brought end to the calamity.

Still in disarray,
My body will pay
For tricking me
In such an awful way.

Where I might go?
I do not know,
But I feel that I’ll start to
Follow my blood’s flow.

Buoyed to the blood of our planet,
And anchored to our machines of war.
The human race cannot keep digging
Into this blood soaked shoal anymore.
Or a volcano will open up the ocean floor,
And destroy our abundant life, living nevermore.

Summoned stars
Shining in a frigid world.
They’re so cold
So lay your hands on me;
I’ll feel alive.

The kernel blows up,
Popping it’s solid shell,
And expanding into
An amazing...
And delicious form.

The kernel
Of a computer
Is the same,
Except the astounding amazingness
Comes from the interactiveness
With a hunk of silicon and copper.

Disclaimer: please don’t eat any circuitry...

Saving others...
For their sake or mine?
It’s all a platter
For my ego to dine.

It’s a criminal system
Deserving destruction,
So I’ll destroy it.

On a night like last I sat fearing,
Looking at the wall, almost peering.
The depths in each crack seemed endless,
It’s volume etched into my remembrance.

A certain feeling aroused a subtle gleaming.
In this darkness, our darkness began teeming.
In that moment, my lungs stopped the rhythmic breathing,
And my life swiftly ended by a tiny widow’s scheming.

Wide and vast,
A world has stood.
Lucky to be
Unparalleled
In the eyes of man.
Gracious fields of grass, and
Indefinably blue seas rule.

A planet made for all.

I’m taking a break from poetry.
I’ve been forcing myself to write lately,
And it hasn’t been fun.
I’ll still read some poetry,
But I probably won’t be posting much.
Only when an idea is to vivid not to write,
I will post it.

I’ll be back to posting at some point.
It could be tomorrow,
It could be next March,
I have no clue.
But I will be back.

Confusion whips up all around me;
A desert of the unexplained.
Words and phrases once meant to free
Now trap me in my pain.

A scarring biting nervous wind;
Shards of memories meant to maim.
Time is all I need to mend,
But my silence became a dying flame.

As cinders rise
From the ashen flame,
Drops of icy thoughts
Quench the fire
Of my heated rebellion;
A suicidal plan.

A spike;
Cold, torturous,
And reminiscent
of the eternal void.

The void is a reflection
Of what lies inside me.
Relinquishing the reigns,
I let my demise
Become the torture
For my miserable actions.

Steady,
monotonous,
And visceral;
My heartbeat rages on.

A sleepless night ahead
With no rhyme nor reason
To back my nervous season.

How many more times
Will I die
Before I find life
In its scarcest places?

Living a lie,
wanting to die.
Saying you're okay,
but you are breaking down;
hour by hour, day by day.

Suddenly,
swiftly,
and silently
swept out
into the sea
of your fruitless lie.

Now only you will ever know.
You reap what you sow.

All things can be broken.
From the Titanic,
To this spiraling pencil,
Nothing is indescribable.
Relationships included.

But not all things can be fixed.
A scarred and broken body may heal,
But it’s mind will never correct.
The memories will always haunt,
Old habits may die hard.

And maybe,
Just maybe,
A love for pain
Still resides.

Dec.28.2019

Time is a relative  concept
I mean, have you ever
Felt like you teleported
From 11:00 to 1:00?
I have.
It’s an awkward mistake
That i all too often make.

I'm here,
at a table.

A white tablecloth,
holding a poster
sits in front of me.

This precarious
group
of four
finally finishes
a frustrating part.

A wave of
euphoria
swept over all

jumping up
I looked across
the white expanse
and noticed
something
new

She's right there
Who?
I didn't pay attention
beforehand

we lock eyes.
She suddenly becomes

e v e r y t h i n g

and I become

nothing...

Why should I let you
Wind up my dreams for me?
Why should I follow through,
If you won’t let me be free?

The trees sit through health and blight,
The forest sits among the trees,
But I could never see the sight
Because you dropped me on my knees.

You promise salvation
But you’ve led me too deep,
And I know, with trepidation,
That the only salvation is in my sleep

Why should I let you be the light
When I only see you as a blight?

Ashes fall
Upon crows in flight.
Cawing in
A cloaked night.

Dancing sparks;
Floating up high.
The raven’s barks;
A simmering cry.

As the ashes call the crows,
The sparks burn the ravens.

Squirming out of the rubble,
I stand on an empty battlefield.

No thoughts of war remain,
And no matter how much
I rack my brain,
I cannot feel war’s breath
Or even her pain.

I’m fine
But People say
I’m not fine
And I know they’re wrong
Two wrongs aren’t a right

Wonderful
Isn’t
It

Off of the precipice
I triumphantly march
Through my expectations

I could never be better
As I am now
I know this fully well.

Ya know,
It wasn’t so bad
Being rejected by a dude,
It never is.

Because in the end
They’re still cute!

Swimming through the void,
I hear your words,
I lose myself
Just to find you holding me.

The time slows to a crawl,
And I’m warmed by the light you’ve brung.
Your words are preached and sung,
The words hit as comfort,
But not comprehension.

Among the silence
A voice shall call.
The delicate noise
Making earthquakes
In this songless forest.
A silence will follow,
And the silky song missed.

Flickering lamps,
Dimming circles.

Lights running low,
Damp pavement
Reflecting their soft glow.

A muggy alleyway
With another at its end.
Another alleyway,
Where the light has stiffened.

It only takes a bit of weight
To make a thread snap.
I only need a bit more
Before I break,
And bleed onto the floor.
The vorpal blade lies dormant,
Hidden under a nightstand,
Unwanted for months.
Soon, it will be saved by a hand,
And then its restrictions smash,
Letting its vampiric urges
Run wild, draining my veins.
It is the light that the darkness purges.

The cinders rise
In flumes of choking smoke
But refreshing rivers flow
And create my lifefull cloak.
The waterfall splashes
And cools the forest
Restoring what was lost.

A thousand miles away
I’ve got a lot left to say.
Could you not just stay
And listen for one more day?

Be you.
Be what you are
Don’t try to uphold an illusion.
It will shimmer then fall,
And then you’ll be left to crawl,
Because they didn’t catch your fall.

As long as you be you as well,
I’ll be me.

Names aren’t important.
I don’t wonder who the thief is by name,
I wonder with faces instead.
They flash by and I think “what if it was this person?”

I should leave a note, saying hi to them.
I really want to become friends with them,
It is naïve of me,
at 17 years old,
To want a friend.
But thats the one thing i want.

Not love,

Not money,

Not possessions,


A good friend,

A real friend.

Swimming fields of grass
Set to lay in the setting sun.

The day shall soon pass,
Yet the night has just begun!

Why should I write?
Many reasons present themselves.

To not end my life,
Prove that I’m not good,
Release of emotion
To refrain from bleeding

But now,

I write to love
And show this love
To that unwatching eye.

Hit after hit,
The wall beats my hand.
Yet I keep on swinging,
Unable to stop the motion.
I feel my hands slowly beak
But I continue to hack away.
The skin finally tears,
Letting my miasmic blood
Flow freely like a fountain.
My bones start to show,
And their frail fragments
Drop to the ground,
Much like pebbles of icy hail.

My arms are my remaining armament,
For my hands are far too twisted and bent.
A mire of my blood becomes the floor,
My vision fades and I see nevermore.

Love is controllable,
I had it under my thumb.
Way back when, I liked someone,
But I switched my object of obsession,
In order to avoid imminent depression.
But That was just an interest; a fancy,
Now what I have is beyond my control,
Not only that, but it’s in a realm I cannot see.
So I’m stuck in this desolate, claustrophobic hole,
With no latter or rope to speak praise of,
I want to send myself a white dove,
And control or remove this hellish love.

It’s different.
It racks every node
Inside my frail body.
It’s different...

But it isn’t awful,
In fact,
It’s enjoyable.