i meowed at my cat but it walked away so i could not understand what it had to say. i talk to my cat because it’s the only thing that listens. the blank walls do not seem to cut it anymore. like people, they just sit and stare for all they care i could just die. my cat loves me, he scratches my wrists and brings me bliss, i don’t know how to kiss. my dreams make no sense, so i cling like them, like the sky to the sea,
hoping things will finally make sense to me
i want to understand my  cat
i want it to understand me.
but it like everything walks away.
i meowed at my cat but it walked away so i could not understand what it had to say.
no boys ever want to touch me.
girls won't even look at me the same
if I want your attention
I have to kiss your neck and grab your hips
all my lovers want the same old thing.
I'd rather just meow at my cat.
at least he'll listen to me when i talk.
I shut my eyes and everything makes sense all at once
I think I made you up inside my head
I just wanted something tangible in my hands
and you felt smooth enough to hold.
but my cat scratches on my wrists felt softer than your hand.
I'm starting to feel worse and worse thanks to you
Make me feel like a good person again
make me feel right.
I'm sorry I look at your veins, more than your eyes.
and I'm sorry you never noticed the scratches on mine.
i meowed at my cat but it walked away so i could not understand what it had to say.
I feel like my cat
because you no longer understand.
so I'll just walk away,
I know you don't care what I have to say.

I am full of hellos, welcomes, and home sweet homes.
you wipe your sin on my skin
give me everything you hate about yourself
everything you want to hide
i want to ask you,
how it is so easy for you
to hurt me
to give me your sin
to take away my sweet, sweet, purity
but you are already somewhere else
looking like an angel
by the time I open my mouth.
i am full of hellos, welcomes, home sweet homes and sin.
I am a girl with bruises on her skin
The next time I see you I do not want to feel anything when you look at me.

i can’t sleep because you told me you hated me in my dream last night.
i don’t want to sleep anymore
if it means a constant reminder
of what i believe to be real
and what you tell me is not.
it felt real
when i was lying there
and the words bounced off your tongue.
“i hate you"

I lost count of the sheep while waiting for sleepiness to take over.
I lost count of the seconds that tick by while waiting for your plane to take you home to me.
I lost count of my footprints on the sand while waiting for you to come follow me.
I lost count of the dandelion seeds i blew away to the fields while waiting for the wind to whisper to me those words from you,"i miss you."

I lost count of the days.
I lost count of the nights.
I lost count of the stars and stop wishing upon the moon.
I lost my sense of numbers.

Why did i still not lose my feelings for you?

Cause baby, the truth is...
I'm still hoping; not minding how long i will be waiting; that some day, you'll hold my hand and say those three words-i love you-to me.

He curses, angered as hell,
She shrugs, ready to swell,
But then pretend to melt,
And put on a ****** of well,
A technique she so manages to pelt,
But he saw beyond this belt,
Her eyes dances with the usual rhythm of hurt,
But with her, love meant no worries
For there's no ornament for beauty like happiness,
Hers was this unimpeachable dirt,
A prideful youth, that's only strong to hurt,
But she knew he might tear under distress,
Drink til ****** to depress himself,
Then pull the plug to express himself,
But she love him under all those stress,
To his heart she had forcibly pressed,
Just enough to have it eventually seize,
Still he had kept to this filthy source,
But she cast out all excusable remorse
For her, there's no love without forgiveness
To err was human; to forgive..... That's Divine
Those who dream by light were mindful of things
That escape those who dreamed at night
For her, it was beyond this very light,
It couldn't be bittersweet without the fights,
She had loved him with a love more than nights,
Till it became sleepless nights and daily fights.

That was us,
Till we felt apart,
Our arms waving and our lives apart,
Distance befriended us,
Miles stretched between us and the joy of our hearts,
Hate came between me and the deed of my hands,
Then again it strike me hard upon the head,
That I vowed till death do us part,
But it wasn't death that did us part,
It was me, my choices that
Made everything stinks from the start
I played our hearts both ways,
I thoughtfully turned away,
Left you for those perilous games,
But your heart never went astray
It became broken, till betrayed,
Forgive me
For not knowing my wants,
For being so angry with you,
Let us rewrite this story,
I now know my wants,
That's to love and be loved solely by you
Come, live in my heart and pay no rent
Take your rightful place, you always meant
In truth, I need you because I love you
You made me want to change, likely repent
You never once mind the games I play
You handled them without delay
Casting each out with a gentle sway,
Till you broke my walls apart
And hit me softly upon the heart,
Till I wish we were never apart.....

And you're in a deeper ditch
each time you think
you've devised a new game
that's just your mind playing tricks
And you keep falling
keep your eyes wide open without a blink
watch out
in the game of being aware
you're mistaken you're the player
and the Friends who were by your side
no longer Care
suddenly the events reverse
whose game is it you wonder
when you're forsaken and abandoned
like some redundant verse
you're not on talking terms
with yourself
because the people that shaped you
disappeared into thin air
and you realize you're not the player
Oh what a shame
it's not your game...
And you still play
still fall....