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 May 2016 Carrillo
Mel Little
It does not make me sad that you have moved on, that her face is next to yours in pictures now.
Sometimes it surprises me; I remember the four years that she was me. It's almost a shockwave to see her where I used to be...
a little moment of confusion when I forget that that narrow joint under your shoulder is no longer my home
But I see your smile and it makes me smile still. There is no falling out of love, only changing the way you love. I have every amount of love for you, just hidden in different cavities, pushed back in memories, reserved for who I was then and not who I am now.
She is so beautiful, so alive, so in the moment with you that I am so thrilled that she has become me, that what was once a face I had memorized is hers to kiss now, that you have someone that cares so very much about you.
Isn't it nice to know that all of that practice we did together paid off? That us loving each other then taught us to love others so much better? That the holes that we once filled in each other's lives, triangles that should have been square, are now boxed in corner to corner with people who fit wrapped into us so much better.
It makes my heart full to know that you've found that happiness.
What a blessing that I can say that we are both finally happy apart.
 May 2016 Carrillo
Paul Butters
People, you are pots of paint for my canvass.
With all your quirks and foibles,
And wonderful ways.
The world indeed is crowded
With many pots of paint:
Glorious views.

My brushes are all aquiver,
Inspired by everything.
From India to Iceland,
Russia to sunny Spain.
You folk, I love to paint you,
Though never your actual words.

The universe, a marvel,
Flying through the heavens.
Swirling spiral galaxies,
Pallets for my verse.

Paul Butters
Inspired by a conversation with Beth Squires.
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
River
Children
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
River
Children,
Spreading joy and wonder
Playing and fighting
Following their dreams
And inventing wild stories,
These all emerge from the hearts of children

And sometimes when I find I can no longer continue on in my self sabotage
I have an ideal to hold on to
The ideal children emanate
The lies my ego perpetuates
Are so hard to erase
I believe this story about myself and the world
That causes me feel like a basket case
But when I close my eyes
And embrace my inner child
I remember who I am
And I remember that *I can
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
ryn
Amplified
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
ryn
Every response received.
Every nuance perceived.

Every phrase heard and said.
Every word written and read.

Every thought conceived.
Every emotion bereaved.

Only gets quietly swept under...
Where they moil and fester.

Fought to suppress
I really have tried.
But anxiety has made plans
to have EVERYTHING
AMPLIFIED.
Anxiety attacks debilitate.
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
Ryan Clark
Gasping relentlessly
praying for air
I leave my body
as though I'm not there

I look upon my mangled corps
barely breaking
overwhelming
force

Blood paints the arena
I fear my time is neigh
I slowly slip away
blinded by the light

In this time of vicious onslaught
Memories flash before me
bringing me away from here
shrouding me with inner peace

Strings of familiar words
begin dancing in my head
tonged by those
who have always lent helping hand

"What are you doing?"
"Get on Your feet!!!"
" **** it up and drive on!!"
"FIGHT!"

The moment is now silenced
beget a ringing in my ear
my vision fades to grey
the man that stands before me prey

I reanimate
as a legion of the dead
my lungs no longer draw breath
nor thoughts within my head

A smile bares
As I throw him off
My reddened teeth
lead my assault

ONE TWO
AGAIN AND AGAIN
Enraged fever
bolstering my hands

A shadow of a man
sways and drops
my thirst is quenched
my furry paused

I reflect a moment
as I hear the ring
Again I stand
In *Victory
The final piece in the victory trilogy ( ha that rhymes) ... well for now anyway
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
Ryan Clark
Falling through the fold
Tis another day
The cage bird sings
                 yet he is not free
His song is of prophets
and rabbits who are late
His peace is left to
the turn of a page

I take my time
Looking through the looking glass
Am I moving too slow?
Am I moving too Fast?
I feel small
but I'm Growing big
I try to find peace
But one foot is in the grave

The Caterpillar blew his smoke at me
It tried to wake the joker
                          yet he was asleep
Instead the hatter took his business
                                                        to the keep
Only to be beheaded
                           by the red queen.

I take my time
Looking through the looking glass
Am I moving too slow?
Am I moving too Fast?
I feel small
but I'm Growing big
I try to find peace
But one foot is in the

The Dealer draws the cards
The name of the game?
Fate
I look for hearts
                        yet only find spades
I wonder if I should even play
I bet it all
pretending to be brave
Only to loose
Everything

We are all just hatters in this world
We puff out smoke pretending to be caterpillars
When in truth we are venturing further down the rabbit hole
*Then who looks through the looking glass?
Adapted from a song I wrote.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PP8nA6uan68
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
Ryan Clark
Icuras
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
Ryan Clark
I saw the sun
in your eyes.
Like a moth to the flame
Burn me to my demise
How could we feel the same?
We were so blind...
Like Icarus in the sky
                                  falling
from such great heights.

We were such fools
to think we'd survive,
I don't know why
you'd let our light die.
Whats a boy to do,
without you by my side?
Guess I'll pack my things
and ride into the starry night.

Don't know where I'll go
but I'll be all right.
Burn a candle for my soul
in the pale twilight.
Now I head down this road
Alone
        Alone
Yet my head still hangs high
Because I Will find myself
a Home
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYrlTKX5QOc

another song i wrote in poem form
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
Ryan Clark
There are no heralds
to sing epics of this,
The Sea of Infinite.
its music is silence
colored
in Nothingness

As I stare into the Void
It too stares unto me.
I am as empty as it;
We are one of the same,
Endless,
Lonely

Forever is a long time,
yet is only one infinite of many.
It has happened,
             is happening,
                      and will happen;
Yet when captured in a single moment
This too
Shall Pass
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
River
Eagle
 Apr 2016 Carrillo
River
Bike rides
After morning and before night
My wheels take me to new avenues
Where the novelty my eyes peruse
On these adventures spontaneity is what I pursue
I meander streets
Following the direction of my
Whimsical heart
I turn off my mind
I go for a ride
I open my eyes
Tune into my senses
Become aware of my instincts
And forget all my pretenses
Sometimes I go out like a detective
Tracking down glimpses of clues
That could lead to you
But instead
I accidentally come upon
Eagles, and sunsets
The bridge with the water below
And chasing the kids who stole
So, as life continues on without us being together
I will go out and bike during this lovely weather
Because out in the real world, I view uncertainty as endless possibility
And that, within the core of my being, brings me so much pleasure.
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