I don’t know what
love
is
When I can’t even bring
myself
To love someone
else
who loves
Me

As self-centered as it is
I can't help but stray
away
And hold myself back from that

Heartbreak

And


Grief

It’s killing
Me

And
I want nothing more
than to be
close to someone
That will hold me
close
like in all those
sappy portrayals
Of love,

But it doesn’t
come

I lay around


And wait for something
New.

Another year rolls
around.
Another step into the world,
out

there it is,
there it stays.

In front of me,
and I think;

What to do, what’s anew?
I could step into the downpour
and let the rain
fall down on me.

But I sit at home
Lay down
and let my mind wander.

What to do, what’s anew?

A million empty promises
I won’t see through.

I know the end;
like the harsh shine of the sun,
and the soft glow of the moon.
One comes around,
and the other turns away.
Like a grand finale,

into a fresh, new start.

I know the end;
like coastal waters.
Rushing to the shore
and drifting away,
bringing when it returns

cold tsunami, or gentle wave.

I know the end;
like a distant friend
that laughs over the phone,

sometimes you never meet again.

I know the end,
it’s closer than one can see.

But after the end,


comes a new beginning.

If I can’t love like you
Won’t you love me too?
I don’t really know
how to show

That I care

That I want
To be
That person in your life

That makes you smile

That makes you laugh

That makes you feel

Better

But I can’t do much
But burn your
pretty skin

And break your
pretty heart

And wish I was
like you.

I’m not some ******* up *******
Wanting to suffer
And insult myself
For the

Sake of it—

I just sit around and. Regret

Because why would I make the right
Choice while I can

“?”


It’s an endless loop
That I can’t break out of,
It’s an endless loop

That

I can’t cope
With the consequences
Of my actions

And it’s not like I want to
die.

Maybe.
Somehow.

I know my death won’t solve all my problems.