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 Mar 2019 AnxiousOcean
Traveler
In the basement of memory
The ache takes it's leave

In temples of enlightenment
We learn how to grieve

In the back of our knowing
Where forgotten dissolves

My love is still waiting
It's final resolve
...
Traveler Tim
Like the Pilgrims of history and ancient lore
We celebrate our first Thanksgiving
In a strange new place, far from the home we left

We journeyed over tempest tossed seas
And there were times we feared our craft would sink
But it was sturdy, and it did not fail

The natives didn’t notice our arrival
No stalks of corn or pumpkin gourds
But neither did they arm for an attack.

We found a place out of the storms
That greeted us with drenching rain
And and lit the skies at midnight.

We learned the way across the river
To a place where there was food for us
And those who offered what we need.

In time we met some friendly natives
Who welcomed us to their tribal dance
And taught us the steps, and about the weather

And how to survive in this new land
Of rocks and hills and gullies
That flood faster then you can run

And the season of the long hard heat
When everybody goes to ground or runs away
And only dire need forces you outdoors.

We captured an unfamiliar bird
That looks to provide a decent feast
And we are grateful we can eat

And shelter safely in this new place
That now will be our final home.
And prove to us that God is good.
                ljm
A full-scale Turkey dinner for just the two of us.  Next year we'll know more folks and can invite people.  References:  Over the river for food-All the shopping is on the Arizona side of the Colorado River.  Laughlin is purely a bedroom community with a bunch of big casinos. We didn't know that before.  The friendly natives are the members of the Square dance club we just joined. We are hopeless, but it so much fun.
The unfamiliar bird is a Butterball turkey.  I had never used that brand before. California is full of Turkey farms and we ate local birds.
 Jan 2018 AnxiousOcean
Mister J
I take my leave
And forget them all behind
The old is gone
the new has come

I leave the pointless path
And head for uncharted waters
I leave my comfort zone
And go to see the world

I leave the heartaches behind
And strive to be a better person
One that can love this life again
And deserve to be loved as well

I leave all mediocrity behind
And seek a better, happier life
I leave the past year behind
and open my arms to the year ahead

I leave the regret behind
Over all opportunity forgone
I accept the challenge ahead
And take on new and better chances

I quit moping over the past
To live in the present
and take on the future
As I move forward in this life

Today I bid goodbye to the old
And welcome the new season of my life
So that when I face Tomorrow
I can say that I have no regrets in this wild ride
Happy New Year Everyone!
 Jan 2018 AnxiousOcean
Mister J
I am damaged
Broken to the core
Discarded and left behind
Alone in this life
I can't see an escape
My heart feels heavy
My mind is twisted
Yet no one understands

I may be depressed
or probably anxious
One thing's for sure though
I'm a messy storm
Trapped in a bottomless hell
Where no one can hear
No matter how much I scream
No body seems to notice

I'm in a prison of anxiety
A delusional reality
A paradoxical identity
Where no one can help me
I am a sinner
Never a saint
I know what's coming for me
But still I ask for help

I'm twisted and broken
Left to dust and the elements
No matter how much I cling on
To those who should care
Nobody hears my deranged cries
And my dying soul inside
Being consumed by anger
Guilt and loneliness

Why can't they see me?
Why can't they hear me suffer?
I'm falling in an endless pit
No end in sight
Just **** me now
I can't do what you want right
I can't be what you want me to be
So don't expect from me anymore

These feelings are no joke
I am hollow inside
Devoid from emotion
With no will to live
Contemplating my life
To move on or leave it here
Do I take the plunge?
Or just let them batter me more?

Ah, there it is
The fear of uncertainty
If I end it all here
I still fear what may happen next
So maybe there's still hope
I'm not yet dead inside
I still want to breathe
To suffer and feel alive

This poem is proof
That I'm ****** up in the head
A disaster in the making
See my point if I said
That everything here doesn't make sense?
-J

A summary of what I currently feel
I just jotted them down out of the blue
It doesn't really make sense to me
So I don't expect it making sense to you too.
 Jan 2018 AnxiousOcean
Mister J
It seems that I have a disease
Something that I've never seen before
I don't know if its contagious
I just hope I could find a cure

It started a few days ago
I've felt weird out of the blue
I can't eat nor sleep properly
My chest feels heavy and my head light

My heart stings badly
My stomach upside down
My feet frozen in place
Every muscle in rebellion

My mouth feels dry
My lungs out of breath
I can't speak up
No matter how hard I tried

And its all because of you
I don't know what you did to me
Every time you're looking at me
These symptoms suddenly affect me

You're a disease to me
I've never felt this way before
I need to find a cure
And it seems that is also you

No matter how much I avoid it
I just can't shake you off me
You make me nervous as hell
And yet you're a little piece of heaven

I want you for myself
But I hate feeling like this
So would you please come to me
And be the cure to everything I feel?
Third poem for 2018. Hey guys, how're you feeling?
I hope you're all great! :)
They say that not all who wander are lost.
But wandering does come with a cost,
Because eventually, you become misplaced,
And then you get lost by your own mistake.

My mind was lost a long time ago,
I'm confused and worried nothing to show,
People pass by smiles on their faces.
They say your happiness is you so embrace it.

In society, it is defined as depression,
Scared and dreary, sadness is an obsession,
It makes you upset and confused for days,
It makes you contemplate what other people say.

I try not to live up to society's confirmatory.
I always try to make the most of my abnormality.
But what you don't know is I'm not what you see,
I only display the best version of me.
I thought the rhyming scheme was pretty good. I wrote this a long time ago, trying to come to terms with how I felt inside and I realized that how I felt inside wasn't what society wanted. Because big girls weren't supposed to cry.
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