I open my eyes
But can't open my heart
It's a door tightly shut
So new love can't start

Looking for an antidote
To take the pain away
Heal my brokenness
I want to feel okay

Find myself between two walls
One is hope
The other fear
I can't climb over either
Frozen in place here

I know I'm not the easiest
Soul to love and adore
I try my best most days I live
But still should be doing more

I push away caring arms
Force myself to be alone
It's safer to suffer solitude
Than risk venturing into unknown

The past haunts my every move
Reminding me of my mistakes
So foolish though I never learn
How much more regret will it take?

I wish you cared for me the way I do you
Hurts to hear you say you love me too
Because if words were true I would already know
When feelings real in actions they show

We are perfectly imperfect
Delightfully wrong
Dysfunctional relationship
Yet it is where I belong

I am the angel on your shoulder
You are the demon on mine
Taste sweeter than ambrosia
Burn stomach like strychnine

You affect my vision
Around you I can't see clear
In your absence aware of illusions
But rendered blind the moment you're near

Your charming wickedness
And my naivete
Balance out our scales
With equal harmony

Love me in shades of grey and black
And I'll bring color to your universe
This cloak of loyalty I wear
Is both a blessing and a curse

You tell me what I want to hear
I say what is true
Sometimes I long to be free of the worry
But too much is at stake to lose

Every part of you tainted now
Relationship died
Tell me how
To redeem sins and find salvation
Before our souls face damnation