Headlights shining in the dark
somewhere in my distant dreams,
raindrops seem to fall apart
by the train's incoming beams.

Underneath the greyish skies
where my memories exist
past regrets briefly appear
in the shape of two red lips.

Seas of fog pour down the streets
drowning sights and silhouettes,
shapeless creatures fail to flee
trapped within their hopeless nets.

Often, lights illuminate
blurry faces of the mind,
where the train tracks
intertwine -
there, my memories I'll find.

rekindling lost love is like teaching a flightless bird to fly.
the wings are wounded as are we,
but we still try to reach the sky.
we have dreams of what we could be,
even if they are impractical.
love equates to delirium,
and I don't wish to see reality anymore.

You’re going to find yourself alone.
You will be in a hospital room
Or in the backseat of a car
Or on a park bench
And you will have decided you’re alone.
You will have convinced yourself
That there isn’t anyone in the world
You can trust.
Not her,
not him,
not the clothes on your back,
not the air in your lungs.
You will have made yourself alone.
Again.
And you will pay for it with the same currency
As before.
With the same realization
Of emptiness
As always.
And you will stand up
And declare war on yourself
For the way you have been treated
By no one.

Come here and whisper in my ear all the lies you feed yourself,
The fairytales that should chase the nightmares away.
Tell me about the times lost,
How you went searching for what you thought was promised.
Tell me when you realized that nothing is promised. How the nightmares were reality and the fairytales did nothing to comfort your heart.

I want to know how you still smile.
When everything in you cries, the tears that hit your pillow every night, the unanswered questions that plague your mind, the dishonesty, the brokenness, the pain that festers still with each breath you take, the aching in the pit of your belly, the endless pulsing agony that travels straight to your fingertips simply because of a name said,
You know what comes next. Why do you take the same steps? Why are you still willing to smile?
Nothing will be left. Then what?

I can not smile for you. Not the way you’d want me to. I will not pretend. I will not pretend for you or anyone else.. I refuse to accept this false happiness so that you can laugh and smile with your woe.
If you need him so much I won’t tell you to let go,
Just don’t expect me to be apart of your gaiety.

I didn't mean to
       Throw myself into the dark hole.
But I has succumbed
           myself into an ocean
       mystique ocean, it looks like an ocean
                                       curiousity

Fall, I fell and fell and fell
           I got ****** in
         Vaccummed,
                   I thought I only fell
But bit by bit,
           My body got eaten up
      Bit by bit, black by black
I had been eaten by these noir things.

So hollow. So empty.
                  Can't help
But peer more into this thing
            I fell, going to be trapped soon
    So my eyes followed down
        Gazing, gazing, perhaps m e t o o,
   was gazed by the seemingly eye looking darkness below
              Abyss, down below
I am going to be eaten anyways.
        So why not know what those eyes are.
Watching  me, is it crawling
                   crawling, maybe I'm going to crawl myself too later
       In that dark void, no surface void
                                       There's probably nothing, or more.

My words,
still intoxicated with you,
losing balance and falling on paper from my heart!!