I love you so much it hurts

I try to hold back

But in strength I do lack

Cause the tears still come out in spurts



I try to be optimistic

Even though I am crying

I know you'll be fine

My feelings for you are intrinsic



I feel you from far away

My heart, well it dies

A little inside

But my head does still know you're ok



Hopefully now we can mend

I yelled and I tried

You fought and I cried

But I know that this isn't the end



Now sorry is all that is felt

Your face is let down

And I now wear the crown

Of a mother engulfed in guilt

_

I know that you were lying
There was, of truth, a trace
I saw it in your eyes
It's on your stupid face

I heard your words, dishonest
Between your teeth they pace
I think I'd like to slap you
Right on your stupid face

Presently, I ponder
Your lies fall with such grace
If only I could stop them
And shut your stupid face

My ears, forever crying
Now I have lost the race
Your lies will never falter
I hate your stupid face

Did I love you with all of my heart? Guilty.

Did I take care of you from the start? Guilty.

Did I help you learn and play and grow? Guilty.

So why then, now must you go?


Was I not enough? Guilty.

Wasn't I tough enough? Guilty.

Perhaps I left the leash too long? Guilty.

The choices you made were all wrong.


Am I fading now into the dark? Guilty.

Did I never even make a mark? Guilty.

Did I try and cry and fight and yell? Guilty.

Now you're leaving me right here in hell.


Was there something more I could've done? Guilty.

Will I be looked down on by everyone? Guilty.

Will I cry all through the night and day? Guilty.

How I truly wish that you could stay.

I'm trying now

To think about,

The thing I just forgot.


Where did it go?

It was right here.

And now I am without.


It's hiding now.

From me, I guess.

It must have run away.


I wish it would stay

Here with me.

I didn't want to play.


Is that it, there?

Behind the couch?!

I wish it would stay put.


I quietly

Run up to it,

And touch it with my foot.


Oh, my God!

It isn't mine!

It angrily kicks back.


"What the F,

you doin' B?!"

It verbally attacks.


I cower now,

Behind the desk.

"Leave me be and go away!


I didn't mean

to startle you.

Where is my thought? Which way?"


Just then it reoccurs to me.

Oh, right.

That's what it was!


I think it now,

Inside my head.

"Man, that's a good buzz!"