sometimes i wish that photos didn't exist, and sometimes i wish that i could win you over with poetry, and sometimes i wish that i could write all the things i love about you and give it to you and have you understand what i see, and sometimes i wish memories didn't happen, and sometimes i wish emotions didn't exist, and sometimes i wish i didn't have to write in a single huge paragraph about how confused i feel, and sometimes i wish my heart didn't sink when i look back at those stupid pictures, and sometimes i wish that those **** memories would just go away, those memories of it all and the cold ground of a hall and the dark lights and the 3am and the tears, and sometimes i wish that i could rewrite my luck into stone, and sometimes i wish that you for one time wouldn't say her name when we talk, and sometimes i wish that ill wake up to a text from you telling me how you feel, and sometimes i wish that 11:11 wishes came true, and sometimes i wish that i could stop wishing for things, and sometimes i wish that i could forget and stop feeling the way i do, and sometimes i feel like im chipping away, and sometimes i think that you forgot it all, and sometimes you convince me you have, and sometimes you ask for my approval, and sometimes i want to shout at you and tell you it's all wrong, and sometimes i think about it, but i never do.
i dont even know what im feeling