Just like your handwriting
You’re a mess
You hide yourself
By cunning words
Trying to disguise how you really feel
But that’s okay
I see right through the facade
You are the type of guy
Who sometimes cries alone
In his room
The type of guy
Who teases and messes with girls
Making them feel awful
Because it’s hard to express how you really feel
You are the type of guy
Who never shows his inner thoughts
You don’t believe anyone will understand
The chaos in your mind
But that’s okay
I see right through it
I am the type of girl
Who’s willing to put
My heart out there
However
You are the type of guy
Who never sees
A girl like me.

So I took a sleeping pill.
For hours I lay awake staring at the ceiling,
Thinking of what I've said, done and how things could have been.
Thinking of tomorrow, and how it might be different,
And I lie awake because I don't know if I'm brave enough for it.
I lie awake thinking until my head starts to hurt
From imagining a world where I'm whole and not broke.
I see this world and it's so crystal clear,
But only when I'm lying awake trying to disappear.
And so a took a sleeping pill.

I took a sleeping pill.
And pray to sleep, because when I sleep I get to dream.
But wait, who actually who wants to dream
When the images seen are like that of a birds broken wings?
The bird tries to keep moving but the pain holds it hostage
And my wings, just like that birds, no longer move nor fly.
So rather I analyse all the little things in my head
And I tell myself I won't look any stronger if I'm both asleep and dead.
So I took a sleeping pill.

This role I'm playing is exhausting
Of watching you watching me
Of smiling, of laughing
Of not cracking when you blink

This being human is tiring,
Its not as great as they said it would be
The acting, the pretending,
The standing strong when you're weak

This staying alive thing is excruciating
Of being in pain and wishing to be free
Of trying, of crying
Of not being able to be me