"I could see what a mess we were. Our insecurities, our flaws became more exaggerated when we were together. We truly brought out the worst in each other. "

"I apologized, for not knowing myself better, and thereby not realizing how wrong we were for eachother"

-TinyBuddha

Today I'll make myself happy.

1.) I'll wake up and curl my hair the way France's "baby" wore it, like its nobodies business.

2.) I'll wear a loose top to feel free, I'll be sure to wear a cute bra as a reminder that I can be **** too.

3.) I'll wear my big glasses and go to a coffee shop because, if I want to be a hipster I can do that too.

4.) I'll sing in my car and not care whose looking, windows down so I can smell the seasons change.

5.) and all day I'll think positive, I'll be who I want to be and do what I want, because that will make me happy.


-InTheWorldOfCyn

"Some words are better left unsaid"

Like how much I miss, even though you hurt me.

Wish I could be there through these tough times, even though you're the reason I'm gone.

Love me because, I love you.

Or, when I'm telling you to leave me alone I really mean "stay forever"

Like "I'm fine" when that's not true.

So in the mean time, I'll just type it here.

Cause the truth is, it's not even a poem.

It's just all about you.

-InTheWorldOfCyn

My stomach turns as I awake, I try to catch my breath. My chest heavy as some part inside me shouts your name.

My mind understands your gone but my soul looks for you. It feels detached to you. It wants you, it needs you, it's confused in search of you.

Some part of me thinks you belong with me, you belong to me, how can I make it understand you're gone and, not coming back when this part of me is missing you.

-InTheWorldOfCyn

A pile of SECRETS and LIES and you call it love.
Your life is passing you by.
You're frozen in time.
You're holding your breath.
You're a statue waiting for something that's NEVER going to happen.
Yet you call it love.
It's NOT love.

I want to move on.
But how can I move on when I owe you so much?
Pain
Tears.
Sleepless nights.
Heartaches.
Time.
Wouldnt it be selfish of me to not give it back?
I owe you that, payback.

-InTheWorldOfCyn

When you speak I no longer feel anything.

I feel numb.
I feel empty to what you say.
It all just feels like lies.
I stare off into space.
Your words just seem irelevant.
I don't even feel pain.

But, why do I stay?
When I'm happier when you're away.

-InTheWorldOfCyn

Addicted.

Every month.

This month it's been every week.

I can feel myself learning.

I've learned to rebuild.

Rebuild. Relapse. Rebuild. Relapse.

But when will I stop going back.

Relapse.

-InTheWorldOfCyn

Isn't it funny how after everything is gone you can see it in a different light?

We use to argue and fight over things that now seem irrelevant.
If I would have known I would lose you to that, I would have let you win every fight.

I use to feel sick because, you wanted me with you all the time.
If I would have known you would be gone, I would have held you longer and more tight.

If I would have known all things come to an end, I would have cherished every moment in time.

-InTheWorldOfCyn