My mind edges closer to insanity's rim,

My hearts not in it; it'll never beat the same.

Laying lazily on the edge;  I've felt the slight brush of tipped rough wings.

If I jump; could I fly  with you?

You are my forever,


You're the dancer in my heart
& the air I take...

You are my forever


You're the mist off the ocean
& the salt in my sweat...

You are my forever,


You're the cries of my passion
& the sweetness in my dreams...

You are my forever,

You're the laughter in my tears
& the quencher of my fears...


I could continue,

but for now
this is all
until

I get back on my PC
&
my thoughts once more
overflows
with words of

eternal love--
like my soul does for
YOU

FOREVER *

Always Me Ayeshah ®
Copyright 1977 - Present ©
K.A.C.L.N ©
All right reserved ®

Our blissful rapture's
open to desire
as you consummate
with in me your love.

In this sultry sequel,

romanticism's left speechless

as you smother me to
your smoldering body,

Rocking hard then softly

Again thrusting  with in me

You whisper passionate words
of rapture.

You've explored my mystical
bond's of sensuality,

taking me higher then any other

while singing my praise of beauty.

Just the two of us you proclaimed
your ultimate love for me.

There's nothing better
or anything close to this-
between harmonious lovers.

Rocking swiftly  but
as gentle as a breeze.

Torment me and make me succumb
to your awaking desire
left hardly spent as you
beg me to release my
over flowing stream.

Eenveloped by the alluring rapture you've
brought out in this lovers bed,
has me reeling my head back

crying out while handful of sheets mingled
in sweat cause me to forget past or present.

Enticing adventurous lover take me
again and again,
swim with in my honey milked pool ,

Dance deep within my utopia.

In every tender word you whisper
expectation builds within my desire

to submit again and again to your
willfulness,
to your powerful ******.

Our bodies entwined re rewind
and repeat the dance steps again.

I moan,
You cry out,
I scratch,
You hold tight, I open,
You fill,
until it's like a dream so unreal.

In this soft bed of wild inspiration,
I loose all control,
loose my self with in you.

We've became one, so engrossed with
one another it's  hard to tell
where you stop and I began.

I willed this moment!
I will'd  time for just a little longer,
day becomes night
and night becomes day,

we've lost all track of time.

Lost all perceptions
of what was meant to be,

Finally it's time for us
to reclaim our soul.

To break down the walls that
keeps us separated for so long.


No longer will I yearn for you
and you for me,
even if all we have to

give is this and this moment.

(For now sweet Lover!)


Always Me Ayeshah

Feeling your touch distantly,

calling out your name in whispers unsaid.

Playing hard to get isn't fun
if your not playing too,

simply -  your
hard to hold on to,

I've already  tried catching you.

Dancing, moving, flowing,

like a ribbon in the sky....

broken free from loose strands......

caught the smiles,

the shy looks, the hand holding.

So long Oh  so  so  so very long now

I've knew & known those strong hands  
holding me.

we've configured our bodies,

embraced-  the soft silky smooth texture of skin,

golden perfectly formed muscles ,

holding me tight up against your chiseled chest
as we merge-  twist  swing  push  pull  spin  

again again again & again.

spinning round around round & around  

songs mingled melodies spark causing us to get closer,

closer closer & even closer...

I'm trapped luxuriously-  your  mmm unreal

intoxication-  like webs of stars
caught on my dream catcher.

hips pressed close legs mingle
as we twist this and that way.

hand on the swell of my backside,

Squeeze   turn   pause- dipping  low  lower,

dip me again -  magnetize my alluring persona.

Alleviate this  unknown aridity that leaves
me dry mouthed

longing for your touch once more.
Songs ending it's last call

Butterfly's catch in the pit of my stomach,  

after seeing you with her  

seeing you shyly smile up
at her while you forget.

the touch of our hands,

the smell of our scent & sweat mingled as one

like lover for the very  first time
the floor was our bed

our playground until the music
drifted  

softly slowly away & she came into
focus....
stepping back  i look from you to her

holding  my breath when you truned my way,  

You bowed over my hand kissed it lovingly.

Causing  longing, craving & hot flashes

for hours until now-  mingled with sweaty palms

as you walk past me back to her side.
am i playing the wrong game?  

Every weekend with you it's almost the same.

You find me-  stalk me until i relentlessly give in,
dancing, swaying,

bodies so close causing us to forget ,
forget it all.......

Dance floor becoming our bedroom,

so many times so many hours
swaying-  flowing bodies intertwined,

meshed together again & again.

spinning around & round.

With me me me & you oh you you you

your dipping me .

your hands always mmm always on

my lower back,

music loudly sweetly drumming
like our heart beats  

becoming our Tantra Taboo(s).....

she smiles at me then looks up-  smiling

gleefully in your eyes
as you both walk out the dance hall....

**** I shouldn't of expected a **** thang-

Oh well that's what happens more often than not- to me
on a

Friday Night(s)

Always Me Ayeshah

Your a Sick ****,

do you get pleasure outta gutting out my heart.

You laugh as you disassembled my comfort zones

shattering with your sledge hammer

my illusionist'tic dreams,

you opened my mouth and cut out my words

with a ***** dull kitchen knife,

stomping me into silence,

choking out the voice of reasoning

You Sick ****

you told me

if I didn't like WHAT you had to say,

I should take my own  advice

"stick a **** in ya ear & **** what you heard"

implying this is what I should do myself huh?

WELL

just like I told you

just cause you eat *** don't give you the right to talk ****.  

You laugh,

I cry.

I laugh.  
Now you cry.

You don't cry for the pain you cause me

or

from the bitterness you made me feel...

You cry cause I got yo **** in these vice grips,

I got these pliers squeezing down

on your *****...

Now you can't cry, holla or speak...

Our roles reverse

I'm the torturous ****!

HA HA HA How you like me now,

I guess you don't......

I don't hear you mocking me now  

don't hear you talkin out yo trap

funny ain't funny when the jokes on the both of us

vinegar and water just don't mix.

Confession of a psychopathic *****!

You sick ****!

( sigh)  

Always me Ayeshah

Chocolate luscious lips
spreading opening
like a blooming flower,

Honey dew kisses trinkling down
while you drink
from my over flowing cup of lust.

Meaningful quips.

Said so softly, caressing whispers as

I whimper while softly
crying out your name,

Lustful stares,

while you extracted
a scream from my lips,

holding

my gaze all the while you've
probe my delicate rose bud.

Stockinged thighs and garter belts dance
to my ankles like swinging vines.

Hands on knees and up my legs,

opening me.

Licking, Kissing, *******...

We breathe rapidly.

Once again legs begin to part,

as quickening hearts beat faster and faster.
Music to my soul,

you breathlessly
call out my name,

Silken fingers touch,

unfolding petaled tulips,

Soft succulent kisses
traces up and down bodies,

the emotional ramification's,

left me speechless

while you profess your need for me ,
your love for me.

going insane,

grinding *****,
pumping groins.

"0oo-oh-ooo"

Screams aloud, muscles strain...

Proudly legs wrap around waist.

Soulful moans rant
the night as bodies collide,

crashing towards ecstasy

the seed is sown.

Passions met.

Heated to a cooling sweat.

Slowing the earth
is turning right again.

I can hear our hearts beating.

tangled feet's still dance together,

legs mingled in sheets.

Blankets scatter all over the

bed.

Spilling on to to floor.

Warm and cozy,
hazy feeling and a bit love sick too
like in a lazy dream.

Out of steam and out of breathe,

panting and trying to stand.

My legs give way and buck from underneath,

smiling eyes stare back at me .


Someone wake me from this dream.

Of

♥♥♥♥****** Gratifications!♥♥♥♥

Always Me Ayeshah

Somethings happened,


I can feel it...,



I'm frozen with fear,



with distrust,



I hear people crying ,




I can't move;  




why can't I move,





I't's "that"


dream again ,



I'm repeating it,



But


why now



after all these Years,


I faced all but one of my fears,


I got to wake up some how...,



Get out of bed,



I wonder where all these nightmares

are coming from,






I'm so cold,


I feel so sleepy


but



I can't got back to sleep not now-


Not ever with those dreams..,


She's walking over to me


but for the life of me


I can't remember who she is?..



She look's like some one I know,


Someone close,


Whose that next to her....,

Hmm,

well


why are they talking so low,


Why can't I hear them?

---



OK



I must still be dreaming,


I need to find a way to wake myself up,


I must cuz this is ******* me off now,



I can't move ,



I want to see who else is here ,


why can't I sit up....


I'm stuck,

****


these blankets are so tight,


I got to get up cuz now their walking away-

HEYYY

Wait!!!!

Wait; who are you..,


What's ya name?


Why wont anyone ...


Answer Me?!


That Girl's coming again.....

I wonder who she  is?,


I can't believe it;


It's like looking in the mirror ,



Now that I got a good look at her,



But she can't be older ,


when I went to sleep

she was just a little girl..,


I really don't like this dream-

It's surreal & spooky!

Wait - -


Someone else is here


They're all talking ,


WAIT; What did He say,

I can't hear him...


**** their leaving again ..,


Whose this  - -   Old *** man.....,


Oh **** he's talking to me


how funny


I can't even hear him..,




Why is he covering me?..,



It's like a purplish silky lid..,



It's getting dark in here ,



**** I can't move ..,



What the Hell is this...........,


Darkness   ........


Oh MY GOD!!!!

Am I ?

Yes I ....


I'm



Dead?



AND



I'm in a ******* Coffin!?!

Always Me Ayeshah

HAVE YOU EVER;
Listen to the sound of his heart beating,
Ba bump Ba bump Ba bump...ETC,  

A rhythm you can get use to, Have you ever;  looked deep into his eye's
and lost yourself,  Ever felt his touch and ya body just melts,
Ever listen to his voice and your heart vibrates,
you turn 10 shades of red when caught staring at his lips,


Ever laid with him and never wanted it to end,
The physical out weighted the mental..,
Ever  felt filled and complete, not knowing if this was it,
The end to your loneliness..,  

I think of Him often&I; don't mean to, Ever have a conversation that leaves you questioning  what's life really worth,  Even thou your on ya way to greatness his presences is blessing Yet cursing  since your falling apart,  His essences is treasured,  His words manifested into you like breathing.., You come out of a dream state,Longing;  wishing&waiting;,   The next time it wont be like this,  You think;You got to get a grip and let time heal this blessed wound,He create a monster yup honey its me...,  

Ever want to be near him yet you know you can't,
Ever wanted to hold on to him and give all you had,
take care of him..,  Like no other can, Thoughts of him fill your head and,  take up your time,  Ever been at work and he popped up in your mind,  Thoughts of the last time he was in your bed,
Is this lust?    Is it love,  To want to let him be free if that's what makes him happy,  

To want the best for him yet you want to be next to him..,  To want more for him  even if it isn't you he's getting  it on with but there's so much more to give,your not ready for this..,    Yet some how as confused as you are,
You want to be his number 1 star  (his Fan all wrapped up in 1),   Even if it's not you He's been missing,  Wishing,

Wondering if your even what he needs,   Doubting the beauty you shared was it real or was it again another dream,  Perfection in the art form of Man (HIM)  The man you think you want, You know you had him but let him go,  Not In the sad way just closed the chapter and went ahead to the end.

I want to start the page's over and began anew again,  Take HIM on a journey to explore the possibility's,
We could of been & BE-A you and me,   Scared to take that leap but wanting too so badly.., Have you even EVER been where I am,  Have you even or ever seen what I see, I'm hurting for release and the only freedom  I get is letting you be,Funny..,  

Alone but not lonely kind of a malevolence dream,   maybe..., Have you ever; felt like me?   Felt like this, Am I to give in as my body did, HIS touch and the way HE makes me feel it's unreal,  Like a painting the artist has made & built me up to greatness like I did him  but now he's so high up, I can't even reach him,  I can't touch this beautiful art form  Know as MAN..,  His struggles..,  I can some times relate to  but to do like him and give  Unconditionally,  I would if only I knew,  The pain I see him in sometimes got me wondering...,  

Questioning myself,  Shouldn't I let him love me as best he can, I can't   Confusions setting in.   Been thinking of him again.
******..,  The strength in him I want to conjure&concur; it.., Make him weep with joy, I have to let go release my burden and let him go..,But is he the burden,  Not really, Not to me,   it's the pain of knowing him as my lover&friend;, I want more yet His hurt isn't healing, His pains are raw & deep, I can give all that he wanted but whats gonna happen to me.., I might suffer greatly if I let him in,

This struggles for this man wont end & I can't be what he wants I can only be me,   But as much as he like and loves me for me is that what it really is I question again not only myself but this  thing that I'm in, with him.., I'm right for him but I'm not, Have you ever felt like this?   Dealt with it and owned up to it,  I'm a woman trapped in his web yet there's no other place I rather be, I ask you lust or love;  Have you ever been this confused ?   Yeah me too Cuz nothing I'm saying is making sense well I think only to me it is ...,   Ladies, Fellas.....,
Have you Ever?
Always Me Ayeshah
Copyright © Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved

He Don't
want me but he loves to **** me , cover it up with words of love, Words &promises;, like I'll do better& we can start again.Sorry.

He Don't
want me but as I grow and my body swells I laugh within myself,I lead my self down this destructive road knowingly, given in to my own self needs, My want to be happy wasn't meant to be hiss imprisonment, The words thou the Way he said em ,The ways he feed them in to me,Left me feeling Unique,Special,Like a Queen, & him then The king of all kings,  His subjects groveling at his feet.

He Don't want me
and no matter how much I want to do this all over again Knowing the results in the end is already evidently clear, I wont win,Not him,He's not up for grabs, not a treat to be had, Just the trick-ster playing on my lonely heart,  When it comes to the Man I want yeah He came real close ,closer then most for me to still be dwelling on past Re living it as I see myself leaving in stead of spreading wide for him..

He Don't want me
No matter what we say or do, I know this to  already be true, like the declaration's and amendments set forth for something better, protection was better,
How funny I'm the only one paying the price in this life time, Man Oh Man I can count past my hands how many times I heard "girl you know I only want you" or "be my wifey"
& lets not for get he says over & over again "I'll take care of you".
Funny the caring and all the rest  He's said to the lil' no ones- like me plus that wifey thing He's been spitting to them other Chicks he calls queen,
I've now seen him with  so many, So many times since claiming me His queen
& its been long since know that He Don't want me.
So I'll LEAVE!
Always Me Ayeshah
Copyright © Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved

He makes me smile when
all I want to do is cry at times.

He makes me wonder
how did I become so blessed,

even thou I been
blessed a long time ago,
I just didn't know,

joy burst forth from my lips
as a giggle escape cause of
something he recently did!

He makes me stay on my toes
& he makes me feel so whole,

love isn't ever pose to hurt
but I hurt'ed mightily for him
& for him too,

to think I went through it all
and came out clean,
refreshed & brand
spanking NEW!

He makes me smile
&
He makes me laugh!

The power of children
&
a mothers love can
do wonders
for your soul!

it's a gift God
'can only give-  
Twins!

Always me Ayeshah

Woe is you not me,  
woe is the life we live lying to compensate
how we really feel,  
is it something to be proud of -
that I have you only to not have you
when it's most convenience,
touch me fast kiss me quick,
hide away, don't say that,

cause "He"  might hear you,
shhh,
lets pretend & perpetrate nothing going on,
nothings as it seems, I I can't win,
we can't loose,
hide away this longing yearning
un-penetrating bound we share.

Hold off don't kiss me just yet cause
wallowing in regrets a thing I must do,
save face and be untrue be in debt
and
live as if there isn't anything between us,  
nothings sacred anymore,
we have to give off this illusion
that this friendships nothing more.

Pretend as you love me never let me feel you though,  
hold me close but quickly let me go,  
move in and out of me but don't fall asleep once we finish
hurry go to your room, please,

fastly hurry, shh don't make a sound.

shhh, do you hear that sounds like keys entering a lock,
please stop wait ok go slow, slower,  
I love you too & love you more,  
do it again deeply this time make me pop,  
your hairs blowing from the wind in my bed room
since I left the window open.

Sshh did you hear that wait, ok ,  don't stop,  
this is the love we share sadly it's not enough, come with me
and please hurry
baby hurry
I'm exploding,
climaxing together feels so good,
but wait shhh,
don't you dare move,
don't speak,
hold up, run to your room  
hurry up,

Shhh baby stop  shivering
Please no more cause...

He's coming home.*



Always Me Ayeshah ®
Copyright 1977 - Present ©
K.A.C.L.N ©
All right reserved ®

Oh how he thinks he likes me,

But he just doesn't know yet - I'm not his type...,

See his type is the kind of girl whose simple demeanors  more on the

shy  & sly,

She's the girl that dimples pretty while playing so very hard to get.

She'll say she's never done "this" before-  asking him for lessons  then

magically becoming a pro....

See she pretends to listen to your ever word,while silently figuring out

the best way to get him to spend,

lend and reinvent himself to suit her baser superficial needs.....

His type is someone that'll take but never give, lust but never love

blame but never accuse herself....

See she's the type-  his type,  the type to lie and hurt, making things worse.

He like's the feel of her,likes the kisses and hugs...

He likes the way she bats her eyelashes and pouts her lips.

The way she walks as she switches her hips.

Oh how he thinks he likes me....

But he just doesn't know yet - I'm not his type...,

I am a Lady-  full grown...

Not a fake lying deceitful little girl

& I'd never change my stripes

unless I change for myself.

Always Me Ayeshah

I don't want to do this

I don't want to hear it

I can't even think

sometimes this big mind of mine
plays tricks on me

I don't want to face reality

I'd rather live in a delusional world
where everything just fits

I don't know how to express it
what I'm feeling at this moment

I can't contain it

It bubbles up inside of me and comes out
at the  most unappropriate times

They tell me; find @ way to  channel that energy

Somewhere else

They said take this pill cause that'll help

You shouldn't say that nor should I do this but what else can I do

Besides ball up my fist

I don't know anymore

I look at the world so completely different

I don't even know what I want
but I know one thing;
peace of mine will be great

It's hard to distinguish reality from fiction

I guess that's the type of world we live in

Hypothetically
Would you take ya time to get to know me ,
hold me and teach me the ways of your body,
let me get to be all that you dreamed,
ya
ever waken wish and fantasy's,

Hypothetically
Could I be the one that changed
ya life
made you think twice,
must be nice to be on the outside looking in,
Wishing as hard as
I can to be the one you call ,
****
Can't you see me standing here,
waiting to dry all
your tears,
caress you after dark,
make you say my name ,

Hypothetically
Could you look at me
like that,
make
me smile right back ,
touch you like no other
& take you as more than my lover,
feel the rain falling on us
as we made love
in a heated rush,
Listen to your heart beat
as you fall fast asleep,

Hypothetically
walk with you & talk with you
listen to your heart ache your problems ,
your desires and
things that others can't see,
Could
you let me in even
just for a tiny bit ,
let me see whats it is that's
got me doing flips,
making me want you so badly
and
thinking of you constantly,
missing you when
I can't see you or touch you,
I want to hug you,
rub you and love you,
Couldn't
you
understand me
or the pain
ya causing me
cuz
your not here with me,
What
Would
you do if I told you
I know you more
than you think
I do,
If I could conceal
all that you went
through
so you wouldn't
have to show and prove,
Couldn't
you put up a
front and
act like your
in love with me too,
See
I been where
you been
a time or too
but
if only you knew..,
even thou I
asked

You all this,
What would you say
and do,
If
I meant it all this
in stead
of asking you
Hypothetically
????
(some times you just need to know!)
ALWAYS ME
AYESHAH
Copyright ©
Ayeshah
K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved

procrastinating is my hobby,
ask
someone if you don't believe me ,
baby i lay around  
as i please
&
work at my own leisure,
incredibly you fail
to understand i am me

and

i love more then like the way that i am-  gorgeous courageous
coco golden skin,  

painfully
i know you feel the threat of  

my  momentous  appeal  
keeps  
you you & yeah you --  mystified.

guaranteed  your days are filled
with shock and frustration,

haa haa hee

how very exciting to me seeing your not as experienced as  I,

unlicensed  to tame what i'd never give
freely,

repetitiously you've played the game,
failure must be a sweet pill sallowed whole huh?  

adequately i compel my strengths --  my naivety makes
my appeal that more interesting,

call me uniquely imperfections
rarely made in to what  many can never comprehend,

my life is my dialogue to my very own daily soap opera

la di da da--  it's more then my  sultry walk
as i pass you on bye.

in this corrupted jungle
you have to win or be inhibited by  
what others  may call taboos,

whew  weee your so serious,

chasing prey only to tease--  lingering doubts?
catch me--  i bet you can't.

innocently the line's been crossed

yet
speak not of what should be!

only--  this--

is what you'll know ; procrastinating is my hobby!
I Am The Lioness!

(some may be lost on what i wrote&say; but ok lol)

Always Me Ayeshah

I sure know how to pick em,
thought this time would be different,
yet the only differences is how
you sweet talked your way
faster into my heart
then any one else ever did.

Sistah'Girl, I tell you I sure know how to pic em,got one whose so good I believed him from day one, believed he'd keep his word and all the major or little things would be a plus,

* the way I stood by him and stood up for him,
the way I support him when he had and has no one else.

How I slave in my kitchen making sure
once he gets home his belly's full,
How is it I'm coming up last over
a ***** that told you to kiss her ***.

Left you in a heap and continues to mistreat you, how am I the sideline ****  you've turned me into, when I'm pose to be on a pedal-stool.

pose to be the one with the ring
this one on this finger
you claimed meant everything,
yet I continuously find you making
up reasons for your underling
sympathetic *******,

seems to me you still want this
                             unfaithful
                                          ungrateful
                                                      atrocious
                                                               rat face
                                                                      sagging *******  
                                                                                   raunchy ***
                                                                                                        *****.


Be real
man  
and
be honest,

don't sugar coat a **** thing
fo me
I'm not like
most

I'll walk away with a smile
knowing I'm the top notch chick,
the queen you failed to claim,

Motha ***** please.

That trick you continuously long
& yearn fo will have you once more ready to **** yo self,
ready to become once more some type of disgrace,
that well polished heart will once more ache
and all your niceties  
will be for naught,

I'll be far gone
living it up with someone new,
some one who wont take
my love or me for granted,
someone who
isn't ******* you!


Karma huh
well no need to worry about "her"
cuz I'm far worse
and I come
quite as a storm,
make you feel the impact up
close & personal,

like you been ***** deep in ya *******.

like Dorthy when she left ******* Kansas
yo *** about to met the wickedest witch.


you gonna know it was me-you played me
& I told you before don't play with me boo baby,

****, trust me boo,
I seen all to well too many men like you,
the one's you say never compare you to,

funny- now cause seems like your doing the same ****,
just like them whom you don't wish to be compared with.

This is the reason why
                I rather say hell naw
                               get the **** out,
                                                       cuz
                                        I learned years ago,
                                                
                                                              I CAN DO BAD ALL ON MY OWN!
  Always Me Ayeshah ®
Copyright 1977 - Present ©
K.A.C.L.N ©
All right reserved ®

Why are you appealing to me-

Stimulating my ****** desire
tending to arouse evil with inside

Me- You

Us
Identical-

Suggestively I've laid out
flowery perfumed petal

trailing to the bedroom

I've characterized you

by obscenity's & indecency's
you've already let me get away with

**** vivacious recipient-
eluding the lubricious

embraces of
my prurient thought.

Thigh high boots

Whips Creme & chains

Swing chair done up tight to the ceiling,

Lubrications lotions & potions,

Candlelit flickers

as

Our
silhouette's merge into

Identical
mirrored image

You-  Me

Mingling

Melting- the little death

becomes

Us!

Identical........

Always me Ayeshah

Why do I answer or even text,
Why do I pay any attention to you at all?
Must be the way you talk or how you write,
must be I'm loosing my mind,
"I love you" ,
YOU
keep saying,
But
if this is love then please take it away,
I don't want to feel a thing,
In time I know in time
I'll heal,
start to feel again,
Start to live again but right now,
Right now I just can't.
Can't seem to make it,
can't seem to take it,
Can't strive for better,
But I smile to myself,
for the memories.
I need to do this,
and
On my own for now  or until eternity
If that's what it takes for me to find  
a semblances of peace.
I know you say it's killing you
cuz
I moved away,

But it was
killing me to stay,
I had to let go
and
be as free from you
as I could be,
I loved you and was there,
In love but was it real?
Still love you and that's what scares
the hell out of me,
Cuz
You've always be free
unlike me,
I still even now wont talk to anyone
and
still wont let anyone
touch what
I still consider yours.

You love me thou huh?
Funny thing about that word
love,
I can't say it wasn't
but
If this is
Love,
I no longer want it.
I no longer want to hold my pillow tight and cry for you,
No longer do I want to wake up reaching out for you,
No longer do I want to carry your seed,
No longer do I want these hurtful memories,
How do I let go,
Tell me?
If it's so easy
How
about you show me,
Prove it!
You said you'd never hurt me,
Never let me go,
You said I was yours,
Your world,
You lady,
Your Queen,
So who
wears the crown now,
Who'll
hold you down when your tormented and
Your own demon's
come kicking and screaming??
You gave me your world ,
Forever & never,
I guess
"Never"
was the other day,
But wait
you fail to see or understand,
You
can't take back what's been done,
My Yesterday's
will forever be like foot prints in the sand,
Naw
like footprints forever in concrete,
You were my happy ending,
Tragically
for me it ended not as planned,
It's what's best you say
I gave you too much advise
and
Now look at me,
Look really hard & good,
Can you get glue,
nail's and a bunch of other stuff,
Rebuild what you broke,
Open up and sew up my soul,
Mend this broken heart
and
recapture what onces was,
give back to my eyes that held you captivated,
that special spark?

Look at me now
and
You'll
see someone so completely different!
So unlike me
am I now,
easily I smiled,
My eyes lite up when You or anyone talked,
You could tell my thoughts,
Friends read me some times like a book,
You claimed
it was all in my eyes which never lied,
You said this and so many things,
Like You knew you were in love with me,
You knew I was forever yours,
Always would We be like we once was,
You never promised but I wish now that
You would of
cuz
Promises
are meant to be Broken,
Like my heart has been by only you,
I would say many but
Honestly
I really believe that
for the first time for me
I finally fell in love,
Finally knew what it was,
But if this is love,
I don't want,
I wont own it,
I rather just leave it alone,
Give it back the same way
you let me go,
easyily.

Never was pose to  mean so much,
like how you touched me
and
went  down on me,
staying there on me
for hours,
Like when
you kissed my eyes
and
looked right in to my soul,
or
how about
when you made love to me
and
called out my name
over and over again as you
professed your un-dying love for me,
and Yes
when you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw tears well up in your eyes,
and
as I held you so many times,
I wipe your eyes as you cried,
I talked to you and planned a life with you,
Why
was I so blind?
You had your cake and ate it too,
Ate it **** good,
but
what's now,
How come I had to lose,
Lost so much already
and
I think you love what's growing in my belly,
Never
was it me
just the lady you meet on Feb 20th 09,
Yeah
she was a queen and her light shined so bright,
Her face
lite up as you open doors
and
pulled out chairs.
Playing the perfect gentlemen.
As
you helped her to your car
excuses me
your suburban!
Un-dying love how funny that sounds and
yet I'm here still breathing
and
haven't died yet
even thou I feel so much like I did.
**** IT,
If this is LOVE
I Don't Want IT!
Always Me Ayeshah
©1977-2009
Ayeshah(A.K.K.C.L.N)
All rights reserved

Do You know why I stay away,
Put Space Between Us two?
I think you do and it's sad really cuz I really like you,
Like you more than I should and more than I care to admit,
But what gets me is I hate that I fall so hard, fast and easy,
Yet I hold myself way back from letting you In,
Trying & hidding my true feelings,
It's not that I'm scared or anything(lol yeah I am)
I just know that Your not ready
for all that I am,
and All that I can give to you
Which is all that comes with me,
So I stay away and hold my self back,
I speak mostly when spoken to and Only comment a little,
Cuz if I said I want you, And  if I said I'm Yours,
Plus if I said I need you more than you ever could of thought,
I'd probably scare you off,
If you really knew what was going in on in my head,
Like how I want you in my bed,
How I'd hold those strong arms around me
and Rock you til YOU fell fast asleep,
How I'd cook just to watch you eat,
Well I can't say these thing to you,
Cuz if I did then
I'd loose my VERY Best Friend!
Maybe I wouldn't but you see
I'm also some what of a Chicken -
ONLY when it comes to YOU!  
If I told you that I  was in awe with all you do,
What would you say-  what would you do,
If i said Kiss me just slightly on my cheek,
Would you do this and more?
Make me crave even more,
If I said I wanted to be more than your babies momma,
Spend a life time making Us happy,
Keeping you satisfied,
Being your Queen
while letting you be King,
I think about you too often to count,
And its sad really cuz
I can't speak clearly when your around
its like my tongue got tied down,  
What if I told you I once watched you sleep,
Maybe it was just a dream,
Yet I look at your lips  while I fantasy about that body,
I look ad those hand ,
So strong , How I'd let you hold me,
Molding me close to you,
See If I told you these things you'd likely scream ,
Run from me,  
Just maybe huh?  
What I'm unsure of is how can I keep hiding
this burning desire to be more than just your friend,
When I know your not ready,
When I know there isn't room for me,
See  BABY
I notice along time ago that
Your the strong silent type,
The Big soft hearted Giant,
Yet I know your also the type to wreck havoc
when someones Coming with disrespect,
Your a humble Man
and if I had you in the palms of my hands,
I'd cherish all that you are and
Love you for the Man you've already become,
Take you for who you are and Keep us on point,
I know you must hear this a lot, I'm sure I'm not the only one,
To be caught  in your poetic verses,
or shown the many side of your philosophical  greatness,
I know so many women feel as I do,
They too may not have told you,
Maybe some have and just like me they too fantasy about You,
For A man you have  the sexiest ***.
A brain & body to match,
Your words make me crave just one touch,
See I already said too much,
I sound so silly, Imaging me saying how
I really feel or ever saying these things to you,
Funny but when Your around it's like  
I have a speech impediment,
I start talking with a stutter,
How crazy am I
Cuz  I can't "forum"(form) the right words,
I can barely think .
My mind draws a blank.
How would you feel truly; If you knew my feeling
& knew too they  go deeper then you think,
right to the roots,
The very heart of Me,
My soul weeps inside to be touched and concord by only You,  
If ever you were to find out-  
WELL  I think I'd crumble. Fall to my knees,
Cuz Your the essences that gives me peace,
You make me feel like a brand new women ,
Your A gentle-man.
Who Knows How to
really
Treat this Lady(your friend )ME.
You keep me leveled and Don't even know it ,
I wonder how You'd feel if you ever knew.
I'm infatuated, Basically in love with
YOU?!
That's why I'd loose my mind if You Ever Know!
Always me Ayeshah
©1977-2009 Ayeshah(A.K.K.C.L.N)
All rights reserved.

I lay here staring at my ceiling,
Thinking what have I done?
Could I really let this happen?
To me to us?
You made me cry not purposely
it just happened sort of like us.
Tears keep falling
as I listen to myself and while you also talk.
I'm a mess and there's no way to fix me.
You tore me apart  as
You've shattered my heart,
I want to be everything to you
like you are to me,
I want you to never  
let me go and keep me in your arms,
with you is where I belong.
Yet You've left me in tears as
I realize what this is between us  isn't fair,
its not right
but its
OK no matter long as  you stay,
don't go because then you take away
all that we are all that we've become.
Papi
I know I can have anyone
but the one person I want is you,
It wasn't your fault.
I guess it was me,
No I'm sure it's because of me.
See I know our love can't be forced
& what happen to us wasn't by choice,
we meet at the wrong time  
and at the wrong place
but look how much better we are because of it.
This  that we now share.
Perhaps we weren't meant to be yeah right that's  such a cliche,
Because we are meant to be,
like when God mad Eve for Adam,
She invented me for you,
I'm your rib papi,
I'm your mate for life our souls have be in contact
even before you or I ever laid  our eyes  on the other.
It still doesn't seem to help,
Because I know that no matter how this story unfolds
we have to think of  what's best for everyone involved
and right now I'm being selfish
and You even said
"Baby your not making  sense".
I know I'm not.
That's the other part of  my problem,
since I fell for you the way
I did nothing makes any sense.
Now that I know you  love me
I don't want to loose it,
The love that we have.
Your a great man,
A wonderful friend.
What do I do with out all that we once shared?
I try so hard and for so long now
I've fought myself
and to me my thinking's all wrong.
I say let it end
because with this situation there's
no one that's gonna win.
There is no positive out come in this.
You say it wont last this pain  
I placed my self in.
I tried  over and over to close my heart,
but again  I fall so got **** hard,
what have you done to me
because for some reason
my heart won't let go
& my mind just keep holding on to.
My soul wont let me be,
and my spirit screams your name
as tears fall down my face.
I've tried more than
once to get over you
but you unintentionally
make it so hard.
I thought love was joy
but I've got nothing to gain
**** that I have everything to loose.
For now it's  just sorrows,
tears and more pain as day by day
I see the changes in me the way we used to be.
I open my heart to you,
So un-use to a Man like you,
I am still willing to make a mends
and take that chance with you.
*** if only you knew,
But will you ever truly know,
Can't you guess
I'm a wreck with or without You
and its ME not you that doing all of this,
I play mind tricks with
myself because I'm scared,
I'm affaid to even give more of me away,
Yet I give unconditionally to you,
even when I try so hard not to.
See for me the the day the pain started was when
reality came knocking.
It was the day I realized,
How important you are
and what it really means
not to have you in my life.
it truly scares the hell outta me
to think or even come close to believe that
I'LL NEVER BE WITH YOU AGAIN!
And that's
Something I just can't live with.
(so I wont.)
Always Me Ayeshah

Can you feel the resonance throbbing gently through this subtle discourse?
I constantly  find your lustful innuendo to be an incredibly pleasurable experience. Like your a magical lyricist.., Your words urge  to create masterful *******'s through laced pages with in me you bring out the artistic'ness hidden deep with in me.  
Rhymes and rhythmic vibrations build up until finally they gush forth with musical symbols, A stream of  lyrics resounds in & out of  my orchestra,
While we attempt to concentrate on our next  feature.
You have me unable to distinguish the next verse for our repetition's, Artfully your lyrics coincide with my own causing phrases to be come literate and a **** good read, Flowing melodies,
While you impregnate my text with all your, your lyrical kiss&naughtiness.;
Filling up my syllable's,Reconstructing my vocabulary.
Our rhyme is  basic element that defines the couplet, LOL Coupling as  we do.
Our consistent element is the repetition of form,
As in me and you forming as one Not in-difference to you ,
Just with small changes,
in your  technique
As we face off while playing out these scene,
Your persistence of  our sonnet reverberates like multicultural dance,
I'm competitive while feeling in awe of you. Your sweet tunes ripple down my spine,
while our word play
brings havoc to my mind. Like a chant or a sweet harmonies.
Causing mental eruption's. Conversing about to end,
tactically you evoke emotional & sensual response, But I'm
keeping up with your lyrical  flow. Rhyme for rhyme,
as each adjective courses through me, in and out while you become a
cunning linguist
master!, I'm about to overflow as you
Cause me to rhythmically fall victim to
insightful
Poems!
Always Me Ayeshah
Copyright © Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved

Was told Ain't No Stopping Us Now but Time After Time I Lost That Loving Feeling,cuz it seem our Love Is A Battlefield  while Walking This Way,
Found  you In The Mist Of It All, Going 65 but you weren't driven as you in claimed  
with your
Life In The Fast Lane, asked you to just Walk Away but Suddenly  life had knew meaning & it was when you notice Jenny Had A Gun,
Now your realizing Life is A High Way wasn't true and your feeling Blue Moon was a song meant only for you, I told you
Almost Doesn't Count & Your Love Is One In A Million, but Lately You've Changed, I asked if I was your Sweet Lady you lied & told me No Worries Be Happy & Chante's Got A Man At Home  
I don't wanna Sing Another Sad Love Song, while your out Fooling Around, just let me off this Emotional Roller Coaster, I Gotta Go Gotta Leave,
Call Me When Your Sober,
You've begged me saying  if- If This World Were Mine meaning yours you'd do anything Just To Keep Me Satisfied,
I believe what Mary J Blige recently sanged ; never let girl cook in your Kitchen, You claimed Some one's Been Sleeping In My Bed But since We're not making Love Anymore  I suggest you walk out my door
To The Left- To The Left, you were my Angel Wearing a Halo as I sung Ave Maria while you Listen But suddenly someone Ringed The Alarm as I
Bust The Windows Out Ya Car, You Ran So Far Away, If I Were A Boy I'd probably do what you did, Become  Secrets Lovers with another so I choose to Free Ya mind & let you run In Circles but Please know that I'm happy
so Don't Disturb This Groove, why did you Lie About Us, It's Like I'm fighting Some Unholy War and  All I Could Do Is Cry I don't  want you to try to make me go to Rehab, You were so Contagious,
I almost Overdose with my need & Longing for you, I laughed while I got into my Pink Cadillac cuz I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) & it was always you I loved but Sadly you left me Waiting to Exhale, now Billie Jean  Is Not your lover,
please Cry Me A River I've Heard It All Before,
yet & still I Rather Go Blind as you taken Piece of My Heart b'cuz I've
Been Loving You Too Long,
tell me please Why Don't We Fall in Love, I'm willing to forgive you as you forgive me with Open Arms, I can't sing anymore Misty Blue,
My Funny Valentine....
Baby Hit Me One More Time with you Sweet Love My Sweet Thang, for you
I'm A Genie In A Bottle  making any wish you want come true,
Silly of me I'd be your Lady Marmalade.
I Should of told her The Boy is Mine but its no longer reality its well its all now In My Mind!!!

ALWAYS ME AYESHAH

Festering cycle
 no cure
no remorse

Enjoy the pain
the hateful shame
 laughing
crying out
 my bitter contemp

No compensation
No shelter
the burdens my own

The grief and disbelief
A magnificently unrealistic
Illustration of illusions
Manifesting and dwelling hallow in me like stones

A shameful weight

Holding me hogtied ****** dry & raw....

I have no words
  no tears shed,
miserable awareness,
while darkness & blissful unconsciousness...

Please consumes me 
 as this unauthorized
 swollen massive fleshy member

continues it's assault

 in & out of me. .

Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
         K.A.C.L.N ©
     All right reserved ®
Copyright 1977 - Present

I feel so alive



                                       so ready,



                                                    so good,



                              I can feel you



                                              so deeply inside of me,



                                   I'm ready,



                                                     I'll burst soon.



                                     Tease me,



                 don't let me go,



                                hold me tight


                                         and


                                          move real slow,



                                                        ­  oh my gosh



                               I feel the swell


                                             of you,




                             deeper please



                                      give me more of you...





                                     Oh I can feel




                                          me pulsating



                                            and


  ­                                         I'm ready to pop.....



                                        ***!!!



   ­                     your coming?


                 UGH


                          *******


                                    I'm DONE...




                                                 Time fo me to



                               get in the  shower......




                                    to be continue


Always Me Ayeshah ®
Copyright 1977 - Present ©
K.A.C.L.N ©
All right reserved ®

Your
touching me again ,
doing
that thing you do when your
wanting me ,

Come here
and
let me subtract
thoughts
from your mind ,
Make it reality,

Come here
and
hold me,
let me
caress you
touch you
and
feel you all
over me,

Your
doing it again,
licking your lips
and
making me
want to bite
you,
lick you in the spots that i know
will
melt the core
of you,

leave you
panting and breathing
for more
of me,

Lay down
and
let me sweet talk
my lips around
you

Taste
you and feel
you,
as
69 becomes us,

Ecstasy
controlling & empowering
us to join as one
start a new chemical reaction
a
Meltdown
With
waves in the sheet
as

Our
Bodies
transform
like the sound of an
Atomic Bomb
and
**** near ***'bust with
the elements
of lust,

The shear heat ignites us
and
blows us
into
*******
rapture

Intensifying
the realms
of
This bedroom,
We 're
Bored
no longer,

Leave
the sign on the
door...,
It Reads:
Do Not enter...,

I fly higher and higher
and
come away sedated!
Now
I SLEEP!
Always me Ayeshah