I've learned that Time is only the indication of one thing: Time.
It determines the seconds, minutes, hours as they pass
But it can't determine the rate at which a person falls.
Important factors in the drop.
Time doesn't get to determine how quickly he learns to make your heart stop.
I've always had these rules because Time told me they were right.
"Can't eat until that time."
"Can't shower until this time."
Can't give my heart away to a man after 28 days
Because Time claims, 'Too soon.'
But Time doesn't see the details.
It can't stop it's ticker, pause,
and see the way his hands make your body quiver.
time doesn't get to take a break
to feel the way his eyes gaze at you
as if he has never seen anything more beautiful.
And time can't feel the breath your lungs take
at the simple sight of him.
I've always had these rules because Time told me they were necessary.
And when he told me of the love he felt after 21 days,
I looked to time who yelled,
"Too soon, too soon, too soon, he can't possibly feel that now."
But then I look at him
and I can see the way he looks at me.
I get to feel the gentleness of his touch
and the intensity of his kiss.
Time can only pass.
And I've realized that time will pass,
whether you let yourself fall too soon
or if you allow the passing minutes
to inform you of when it's okay to start loving someone.
Time can only indicate the time.
Time counts the seconds.
But time does not get to tell me when it's okay to feel anymore.
Turn the lights off so that I may know you
In this safe space, I invite you to indulge in our mutual vulnerability
Feel protection in my arms as I guard your heart
As I keep it warm between our chests
Set your gaze to mine while you share with me your aspirations
I yearn to experience them through the windows to your soul
Share with me your fears so that I may put them to rest
May this bed be a holy and sacred place for us
May this bed be our confession booth free from ridicule
May this bed be a tithing basket for you to receive love with no boundaries
In this bed, allow divine pleasure to overwhelm you
Let your orgasm match the depth of your trust
Let your tears turn to sweat that trickles down the valley of your spine
Let your bodily fluids baptize you; cleanse you of any guilt
Share with me your spiritual awakening
As I receive communion with your raw, unfiltered, liquified emotion running down your body
Toss out your bible, for the only religious text I need is your diary
Allow me to tie every inch of your glorious body to a memory
I wish not to fuck, but to love
I wish to fulfill all your fetishistic urges
For I know they are tied they are tied to a psychological yearning
By the end of the night I wish to know every inch of your flesh
I want the knowledge to be accompanied by the memories that make you, you
And if I fail, there's always round two after we cuddle
I miss you something awful
and it hurts real bad.
Today I cried because I realized
You'll never want me back
I'm a mess, I'm a project:
I am charity work you took on.
You loved me and I you,
But in a blink you were gone.
Now I feel like a part of me's missing
Because it liked you more.
I guess I didn't realize
You and I were at war.
Well baby, you win
To the victor do the spoils go.
You have my heart still
And my promise isn't broke.
You're beautiful; spectacular
Please don't change a thing.
I love you, you wonderful man,
Even though to you I am nothing
I bled for you,
I gave into you,
I wanted to make you happy.
I have an evil soul
I can never be made whole.
No room for a savior.
No way for anyone to save me
Paint me a picture
Make the world look so much better.
There is so much that is not okay.
So much pain
Every mistaken day.
Make me feel
Little child, such kind eyes
Don’t listen to these lies
They try to take you.
They try to break you
I am broken.
I feel nothing inside.
Lie to me
Tell me everything is okay
Lie to me
Open my eyes to a perfect world.
Make it like
The pain was never there.
Abusive scars just disappear.
Make me feel human
Tell me something I want to hear
Cause right now I can’t survive.
Pretend to love me
Pretend to know me
Give me a friend
Give me a lover.
Give me one more reason to live.
Is awful close
I can taste
The copper against my tongue.
I can’t breathe
Are you listening?
If I say
‘’I love you”,
Would you stay?
I know I am ugly, I am garbage
Which is why I need just one friend.
Tell me everything is okay.
Make me feel again.
Please revive my soul.
I don’t care
If what you say is true
I just need to hear it.
Been so alone
I can hear the world mocking me.
Night after night
Day after day
Depression holds me at ransom
Taking all the joy I ever knew.
My life depends on it,
My life depends on it
He likes the bare necessities and the feel of nude skin rubbing
against fabric on a quiet night.
He sees the beauty in raw flesh fitted on armored bones;
he likes the way his veins cross paths and the way his tongue moves.
He closes his eyes and extends his fingers to touch himself,
fresh out the shower,
as he fantasizes of other disrobed bodies.
He sees her in his dream of ecstasy,
the colors of the rainbow filter their tangled bodies,
dim lighting and the smell of lilacs and the feel of warmth.
In this vision, her hands skim over his elongated neck
and his sallow fingers paw at her umber belly
under the shadows of his silhouette
and under a canopy of steam and the moon.
She's seen it once in a dream;
a castle of euphoria and bliss.
In a dream where they're nude,
making her privates speak and her feet yell;
making them glorious and making her feel him inside of her.
Bringing her to a place that smells like her favorite flowers,
to a place that has his favorite color painted onto walls;
loving her while he makes her body holy in his name.
The heavens are in tune with her and him,
and each new day brings their bodies to a praise.
The majestic magic that his hands and tongue work
feels so amazing.
And he will color her in and his word so sure,
tasting sweet upon the tongue,
glossed and glazed.
I knew it was him all along,
lying there in his nude glory:
washed-out skin, rosy under eyes, swirls, solid eyes, and pink lips.
An almost perfect man, lying there with blissful thoughts
of ebony collarbones and soft black spirals stuck to an enchanting face.
Blissful thoughts of two conflicting bodies -- one ivory and one ebony --
that complement like yin and yang.
You look to the clock and wait for the bell
Work set aside for thoughts of tomorrow
Unable to endure the rest of this class
You view high school as the dark tunnel of your youth
And ask if there's a light at the end
You lose the purpose among other things
Though constantly haunted by reminders of grades
Taken over by stress
And eaten away by uncertainty
Forced to test your comedic abilities
You are built with the power of strength
And each day you grow in these attributes
Maximize your potential
Take weaknesses to your advantage
Now, you look to the clock and wait
Wait for the future you shaped in this class