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"vespers" poems
I remember Vividly those serene eyes, Shining bright, Emotion in them Sparks my blood to rise Thy teary eyes divine, Speak with love and tenderness, Eyes, a million stars in them The picture of innocence. Eyes seeking me - Glowing, Like that first dew, On the new viridescent blade of grass. Your eyes my matinal star Your eyes my middays sunshines, Your eyes my vespers twilight, Your eyes an oceanic depth, Your eyes my autumnal hues, Your eyes wild jasmines Fragrant at nights, Like that sunflower Gazing the afternoon sun. Let the peacocks vauntingly dance, Let the nightingales melodiously sing, Let the flora and fauna flourish, Like spring in prosperity, In felicitation, Let me always See Through Your Eyes
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Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 3:28 PM UTC
Your Eye's
If I could speak I would spill these lamentations cloistered sins and secrets whispered vespers for wretched dreams Retching sentiment this malignant manifesto a macabre mantra eats my skin from within transient refuge for temporal treasures inexorable moments carry life away tick tick tick the seconds scurry flurried ineffectual supplications demigods of affluence the cacophony of the machine I spin within cogniscient of my myopia the funneled tunnel vision drips from the end of a pen furtive verses on paper fading ochre moments somber drops of ash and bone poetic exorcisms of wicked things unknown phrenetic sensibilities trickle spilling life black and withering is the gain worth sacrifice crackling fat of dreams too costly this shallow palette self obsessed eyes gouged out hands shackled to the reality the immortality trust the dust the dust becomes me soul focused on decay spectre death devouring this unsparked spirit If I could speak truth into your heart would you believe..... in anything more than what you see I trust the dust and dust will be the remnant me TL Boehm 042508
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Oct 14, 2013
Oct 14, 2013 at 5:11 PM UTC
If I could Speak
In your extended absence, you permit me use of earth, anticipating some return on investment. I must report failure in my assignment, principally regarding the tomato plants. I think I should not be encouraged to grow tomatoes. Or, if I am, you should withhold the heavy rains, the cold nights that come so often here, while other regions get twelve weeks of summer. All this belongs to you: on the other hand, I planted the seeds, I watched the first shoots like wings tearing the soil, and it was my heart broken by the blight, the black spot so quickly multiplying in the rows. I doubt you have a heart, in our understanding of that term. You who do not discriminate between the dead and the living, who are, in consequence, immune to foreshadowing, you may not know how much terror we bear, the spotted leaf, the red leaves of the maple falling even in August, in early darkness: I am responsible for these vines.
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Vespers
Me: “Father, I think I would like to pray my own way.” Priest: “Ha okay (sarcasm), whatever you say, Brian.” (Priest continues about in ignorance of commentary) Priest (beginning Vespers): “O God, come to my assistance…” Me: (beginning Vespers) "O **** here we go again..." (Grudgingly submits)
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May 23, 2018
May 23, 2018 at 1:16 PM UTC
My View of Spiritual Spontaneity: Rejected
250 I shall keep singing! Birds will pass me On their way to Yellower Climes— Each—with a Robin’s expectation— I—with my Redbreast— And my Rhymes— Late—when I take my place in summer— But—I shall bring a fuller tune— Vespers—are sweeter than Matins—Signor— Morning—only the seed of Noon—
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I shall keep singing!
The Convent at Le Cap Fureur Lies empty, by the sea, Its ancient walls a grim despair Of anonymity, No more the chants of singing Nuns To vespers, weave their way, A thousand years of heartfelt prayers In silence, drift away. The Sisterhood of Sainte Bernice Is cloistered there no more, The end came in a fury from The world outside, at war, The Nuns were fasting, deep in Lent, When soldiers came across To find each sister worshipping The Stations of the Cross. No godly men were in their ranks No thoughts of sin or Christ, The Nuns were ***** and beaten in Some pagan sacrifice, The Abbess stood with arms outstretched And prayed, ‘Forgive them not!’ Was taken to the courtyard where The sergeant had her shot. There’s blood still on those convent walls It leaches out at Lent, Runs down the walls of dim-lit halls And stains the grey cement, We lodged there late one April night Myself, Joylene and Drew, Lay staring at the stars above As round us, silence grew. We slept within those hallowed walls Until I woke in fright, And roused the others, ‘Come and see This strange and fearful sight!’ For out there in the entrance hall We heard a weird chant, And two long lines of Nuns approached To keep their covenant. Two lines of candles in the dark, The Nuns wore hoods and cowls, And as each candle flickered out Their chant gave way to howls. Screams and pleas then filled the air, The sound of steel-capped boots, A pagan army from the east Of rough and raw recruits. Joylene was in hysterics by The time this vision went, And Drew was praying loudly on That final day of Lent, We grabbed our things, rushed out and then We heard a single shot, The blood-stained Abbess blocked our way And cried: ‘Forgive them not!’ David Lewis Paget
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Sep 27, 2013
Sep 27, 2013 at 10:27 AM UTC
The Convent at Cape Fury
The Convent at Le Cap Fureur Lies empty, by the sea, Its ancient walls a grim despair Of anonymity, No more the chants of singing Nuns To vespers, weave their way, A thousand years of heartfelt prayers In silence, drift away. The Sisterhood of Sainte Bernice Is cloistered there no more, The end came in a fury from The world outside, at war, The Nuns were fasting, deep in Lent, When soldiers came across To find each sister worshipping The Stations of the Cross. No godly men were in their ranks No thoughts of sin or Christ, The Nuns were ***** and beaten in Some pagan sacrifice, The Abbess stood with arms outstretched And prayed, ‘Forgive them not!’ Was taken to the courtyard where The sergeant had her shot. There’s blood still on those convent walls It leaches out at Lent, Runs down the walls of dim-lit halls And stains the grey cement, We lodged there late one April night Myself, Joylene and Drew, Lay staring at the stars above As round us, silence grew. We slept within those hallowed walls Until I woke in fright, And roused the others, ‘Come and see This strange and fearful sight!’ For out there in the entrance hall We heard a weird chant, And two long lines of Nuns approached To keep their covenant. Two lines of candles in the dark, The Nuns wore hoods and cowls, And as each candle flickered out Their chant gave way to howls. Screams and pleas then filled the air, The sound of steel-capped boots, A pagan army from the east Of rough and raw recruits. Joylene was in hysterics by The time this vision went, And Drew was praying loudly on That final day of Lent, We grabbed our things, rushed out and then We heard a single shot, The blood-stained Abbess blocked our way And cried: ‘Forgive them not!’ David Lewis Paget
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Slap of leather magnified Where Caesar’s legion marched Setting sun of golden light Though’ Roman tongues are parched. Pewter helmets bronzely glow Sweat cascades from dusty brow Whilst o’er hill the Vandals mass Salivating hot blood now. Short swords cleat with marching rythm Stabbing lances high and cold, Metronome in stamping sandals Onward now to victory’s fold. Scarlet standards fly on high The statement of intent is clear Caesar’s men have promised now To desiccate from ear to ear. Grey ghost high above bears witness Cadence of advancement grows, Column strides in face of chaos Lowered lance’s sharp steel shows. Engagement in a stony basin Flesh and blood, as one, combine, Cut and slash in perfect order Stab a *** and make him mine. Darkness hides her chilling secret Brooding silence stills the air, Dawn’s first rays reveal  the spectre Carnage killed with none to spare. Grey ghost’s hang in gaunt remembrance Vespers ring in solemn tone, Gone forever Caesar’s promise Dead in vanquished blood and bone. Marshalg Inspired by Anselm’s “Broken Promise to Caesar.” 21 March 2013
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Mar 21, 2013
Mar 21, 2013 at 1:29 AM UTC
Requiem for a Broken Promise
Defunct delightful fruits noir The sacrosanct pheromone of death Garnishing Hells credence table Quailled hem and haw sate Ilk a slew of paper tigers With a keen prosaic veneer Consuming vittle of Gaia Ravishing ichor like dancing water Spurning a chimerical somatic Catharsis as creaking doors hang The longest watching satorial Flowers wilt nascent by Tactiturn vespers. ELEETE J MUIR.
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Jun 19, 2012
Jun 19, 2012 at 4:22 AM UTC
Prandial Origins
Some types of blood arrest this mouth. Yes, some types of lips breathe fire and shout. Some types of women shuck men of their gain, then some women run hurriedly back to their beaches again. Some people catch anons between their legs. Others swallow vespers BeSpoke by the lust that they crave. Then envelop Gonzo love on the tip of their quill, if only boiling themselves for five minutes to ensure themselves potable. I live for the taste of rust. I sit in the second-to-last seat on the back-left side of the bus. And I greet her legs with my aching skin, touch my fingertips to my lips to prove that I’m alive to myself. If her scent was obeyed by royalty. I’m traversing the world if only once more as I’m praying that she’ll see me. I’m praying for our faces to believe in we. And her taste is the bang that is big from the beginning of time, one twist of the fresh zest of a lime, while the years are turned back into the furnace of time. I’m craving faces and loves I once saw. I need to feel the skin tailored for the female gods. I’m certainly loud and catering forth, I turn up the pre, and force the gain and amp up. If only to be noted again, in a bed with my goddess together we’d spend, every moment together in eternity. Immortality conceived of the beasts we achieve. Trampled by the light and tortured by the sound of ourselves. Please won’t you help me to not be forgotten myself? I’m pursing my lips and shaking my hands, I’m jumping off rooftops and eating mouthfuls of sand. Is our hero here or has she she run? Help me find Britni West, my one true love. She’s in California last I had a taste. It’s only everyone else that I lay chaste. With her I’m on top of the world, I’d quaff her spit and champion her skin. There is nothing nor no one that could come between. She’s the only one that is for me, and I’m the only he she’s told me.
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Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 6:53 AM UTC
1510 & 187 Belmont, Goya, and Notre Dame
Some types of blood arrest this mouth. Yes, some types of lips breathe fire and shout. Some types of women shuck men of their gain, then some women run hurriedly back to their beaches again. Some people catch anons between their legs. Others swallow vespers BeSpoke by the lust that they crave. Then envelop Gonzo love on the tip of their quill, if only boiling themselves for five minutes to ensure themselves potable. I live for the taste of rust. I sit in the second-to-last seat on the back-left side of the bus. And I greet her legs with my aching skin, touch my fingertips to my lips to prove that I’m alive to myself. If her scent was obeyed by royalty. I’m traversing the world if only once more as I’m praying that she’ll see me. I’m praying for our faces to believe in we. And her taste is the bang that is big from the beginning of time, one twist of the fresh zest of a lime, while the years are turned back into the furnace of time. I’m craving faces and loves I once saw. I need to feel the skin tailored for the female gods. I’m certainly loud and catering forth, I turn up the pre, and force the gain and amp up. If only to be noted again, in a bed with my goddess together we’d spend, every moment together in eternity. Immortality conceived of the beasts we achieve. Trampled by the light and tortured by the sound of ourselves. Please won’t you help me to not be forgotten myself? I’m pursing my lips and shaking my hands, I’m jumping off rooftops and eating mouthfuls of sand. Is our hero here or has she she run? Help me find Britni West, my one true love. She’s in California last I had a taste. It’s only everyone else that I lay chaste. With her I’m on top of the world, I’d quaff her spit and champion her skin. There is nothing nor no one that could come between. She’s the only one that is for me, and I’m the only he she’s told me.
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riverside dusk daylight's pale remains a sanctuary
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Oct 6, 2020
Oct 6, 2020 at 9:32 AM UTC
Vespers
Slide into the path of our journey Follow the map along my spine With breathless lips....... Night's dark flowers swell Silver bells, Among my heart's wet pulsing, Thoughts wild, utter me Autumn Like a feather of Vespers; An owl sings A dark reveille in moonlit guise And shadow traced Lulling chants Marry me to yesterday... Midnight, Combs a phantom of hands The memory of you Shaking the blue sky from my hair, Coaxing that purring at the back of my throat, My song, held hostage Amid the still of the night, I feel you now, as words flow From the flesh of your tongue A…murmured heartbeat... Tangles me tender, beneath breath Softening sadness inside A pandemonium of bruised echoes, Calling… My voice Naked as moon, Intoxicating scents of desire, Fierce, cathartic, ripe, unraveled Inside you... Feel me now... Through the fleece of memory, Pulsating passion through our veins Feel me now... My breath on your cheek Lips brushing over your skin Feel me now... My tongue dividing your mouth Kissing you harder and deeper Released now Intoxicating scents of desire, Orgasming into serenity..............
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Nov 19, 2012
Nov 19, 2012 at 2:29 PM UTC
Marry Me To Yesterday:
to buy a book at half-ten with no time wasting. go back, await instructions ‘cause ****** will have their trinkets, with novelty of accented voice. and i once would talk often of a love – let’s separate that word from ***** often of a love, but am rare to fall to elaboration. and through contemplation the soul may ascend to knowledge of the Form of the Good, penultimate object of Knowledge but not Knowledge. and often writ of this love, writ of what was to be then and never now. never to find affirmation in fleeting memory. oxymoronic oblate of the mind – this soul. attempting for attainment of Kenosis. shambling i wandered, rambling i wandered, and humbly wandering on to pluck till times and times are done. and the dogs of this life have re- moved dearest effects. in turn, sho- wing the vanity in materialism. end turn, showing futility in ret- ention and the sun's continuous gro- wth forcing abatement of winters’ vespers. cradling a gourd filled with oil from the skin of ages, to reflect micorocosms of preceived death. those silver apples of the moon. and when vespers return in color, when the ground aches tensing muscles. this love, if only the conjunctions had been denied. perhaps by abor- tion of if, then could have been a block for now. these times found oblate of memory by zealous self- truth of the wronged past, and humbled by skewed memory of the hermit on unseen path for Kenosis. unseen growth of those golden apples of the sun.
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May 15, 2013
May 15, 2013 at 10:05 PM UTC
5-amiss
Common Church Poem (V4) By Michael Lee Johnson Sitting here in this pew splinters in my **** I spend hours in silent prayer. I beg Jesus for a quiet life. Breathing here is so serene. Sounds of vespers, so beautiful dagger, so alone, unnoticed. You can hear Saints clear their eardrums Q-Tips cleanse mine. I hear their scandals I review mine.
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Feb 1, 2016
Feb 1, 2016 at 2:01 AM UTC
Common Church Poem (V4) by Michael Lee Johnson, Itasca, IL poet.
Before I come and wake you With hot tea and kisses I will say some quiet words In the dark where you cannot hear them I founder sometimes in your beauty As if the side or depth of it are out of reach I sink beneath its density How your body shudders With unwinding joy When everything and breathing stops In one intense point of space and time Resounding and fading A sheer pulsing drift of wonder Then I feel your flesh vibrating Like strings beneath my fretted fingers Like an ocean of dazed and dazzled being Exploding beyond your senses And flooding your soul with holy vespers And I am blessed to be in your body at such a time And I am further blessed By the intimacy of your secrets Those fears and hopes Your most precious self that no one sees Beyond the energies of life and death Beyond healing and forgiveness You let me touch your prayers In grace and bright dawning When being is done and the universe explodes Will the murmurs of our love taste like Sanctus on the lips of angels And I will be blessed to be in you at such a time
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Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 9:03 AM UTC
And Breathing Stops
This is a true, but amusing tale, Hope your laughter does not fail, 'Tis a saga of a cockatoo, Of life, he held a jaundiced view, At the going down of the sun, Cocky embellished his own fun, And at the rising of each dawn, Cocky's catharsis our ears did adorn, The parrot kept talking, none listened to he, Cocky had such a vivid vocabulary, All starting with "F...ing C...'s"! We heard his morning matins, you see, His vespers were hard to believe, 'Twas sociolinguistic acquisition, prithee, His jaded look at society, Swearing is cathartic, but so lazy......
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Aug 8, 2018
Aug 8, 2018 at 4:00 AM UTC
COCKY'S CATHARSIS!
It is evening now, as moist and damp as  monsoon dusks can be, and the lantern, it is shining away, hanging off the ceiling. Now, the bells ringing the vespers toll. Elsewhere, celebrations have begun. Sometimes, wails emerge, accompanied by the chime of breaking bangles: yes, glass is what makes the manja potent. The lantern: it is what crickets are to sound, to light in the nights. But, it can only reach so far: built dim. The fan slices through her smile, and in the corners, shadows dance. It's a wave, yes, light, and it bends at the corners, but it doesn't handle slits well. But it keeps attempting this every monsoon night; through the rain, and through the silence after the crickets and people are done, reflecting off ceilings, bending at corners, and forming fringes where life is otherwise just colourless, like the pouring rain. (Oh not odourless though, the smell of earth has entered into her pores)
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Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 2:04 PM UTC
The lantern
She is telling something long, impossible, silently – vespers in a sheltered hollow. I understand she has come on the sand to my left shoulder, by the fragrance of the oleanders after rain, by the slightly half open window on Monday. Was it yesterday or tomorrow? Понеделник Тя разказва нещо дълго, невъзможно, тихо - вечерня в закътана котловина. Разбирам, че е идвала по пясъка на лявото ми рамо, по уханието на олеандрите след дъжд, по леко открехнатия прозорец в понеделник. Вчера ли беше или утре? Преводач Български-английски: Савова Vessislava rarebird © bogpan - всички права запазени
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May 27, 2011
May 27, 2011 at 10:39 PM UTC
Monday
Grey stone buildings jumble on the promontory. White cliffs fall to the sea like a bridal veil, merge with the blue waters of the summer season. The land lies still, wanting, waiting. Change of season late in coming. Cisterns are dry, roses wilting. A black clad woman walks the garden. Dry leaves dance suddenly along the paves. Her tongue licks the faint movement of air, storm clouds gathers in the East. After Vespers and Compline the young nun enters her chamber, opens the window, pushes back the heavy panes. Sea fuses into obsidian sky. Starlight dims behind racing clouds. She sheds her habit for a white muslin sheath, beds down on the narrow cot. A slight breeze rolls over the window sill, continues though the room, playfully caresses the woman’s feet, licks her cheek. A stronger gust follows, pushes under her sheath, waves up her inner thighs, caresses her belly, rustles the stubby hair of her shorn head. Her toes curl, knuckles turn white. The storm comes suddenly and strong, carries dried leaves of roses, the scent of salty seas, fecund fields. Her sheath pushed up around her waist, an offer to a pagan God. Window panes clank in protest, waves crash against the rocky shore. Clouds shed a load of steady rain. The ****** sleeps, limbs askew, until the hour of Aurora and Lauds.
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Oct 22, 2012
Oct 22, 2012 at 6:20 PM UTC
LOVER.
The Earth is purged: Human ghosts Once hung in elemental pores Have been released, Ascendant from dirt And salt. Evening vespers complete After one-thousand years Of denial, They take flight into ether, Each ascension signified In violent purple hues, Clean breaks.
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Aug 20, 2014
Aug 20, 2014 at 8:13 PM UTC
Electrostatic Epitaphs
You! Harbinger of wars Impeder of enlightenment I beseech you Begone, begone with you Cease beguiling The weak, the meek With atonement For alleged sins Cease spearing The flesh of the simple With your evil seed Behind the vespers In the corrupted house Of your alleged God For my eyes are open I see the veracity Behind the fraud Scoundrels that you are You think you own By lies sown Spewed forth from The house of Rome Intimidators of purgatory And hell Inquisitors of death I pity you For, you Rule by fear And fear alone.
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Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 3:52 AM UTC
A Rant
bridge to heaven, apex of the earth and sky; west by north, corner of a nation. where the ocean deep and blue, rises from its depths to join the hands of sea blown grass, together reach for cotton wisps, the cirrus clouds aloft to clasp, teasing curling locks of hair in a brilliant sapphire sky. garden where the angels visit, stoop to touch the darkened sod; swoop to give a breezy nod, a soft salvé from above; joining sailing boats with colors flying, their wings of sheets catch winds offshore; waves collide in dance, splash at bow en-trance, curtsying like a curtain call, here at play they soothe, enthrall; transporting, lifting, cavorting, gifting, on breezes light with gentle lofting, Zephyrus sends them over yonder, ever distant, ever stronger, ’cross the strait to reach her border. port of angels, home to men, bridge to offer sweet descent... this, the end of jacob’s ladder, dream of angel’s softened laughter, listen close you’ll hear their whispers, words of grace in flowing vespers blowing down from snow-capped ridge gently ’cross the angel’s bridge.
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Jun 29, 2014
Jun 29, 2014 at 12:54 PM UTC
port of angels
May you rest well & tango with the crimson leaves aglow with whimsical love living in their veins vivaciously while the effervescent vicarious vespers of air spirits lift and play oboe tones atop the glorious ruby mountain in the kiss of dusk. Also i love you dear, sweet honey cinnamon habibi queen goddess being.
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Nov 14, 2014
Nov 14, 2014 at 8:19 PM UTC
Before Sleep, I Whisper to Her
1. a letter in the mail, a three, four, five, or even six digit number meant for you to repay, sooner or later. but we both know the answer lies later than sooner 2. in bed during broad daylight wearing his clothes, missing, missing, missing an empty space in your heart, vespers of fingerprints across your body crying into your pillow til your eyes turn red and angry, bloodshot defeat, the smell everywhere, damp. where do loved ones go when they still exist, just not in relation to you? 3. unfixable, irreversible loss. and finally, 4. the screen. tendrils of hair bunched into angry clumps in the palm of your hand, blood dripping from eye to mouth, a bored lumberjack with a garish mask flanked by black branches, auburn leaves all of these things and a doll at the end of the dark corridor are nothing to worry about.
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Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 10:25 PM UTC
four types of scary
Sister Teresa felt the cold evening wind through the cloisters. Shadowy figures sounded near by; the sense of waiting; the held breath; the stillness before the office of Vespers. She refused the wheelchair; wanted to walk along the cloisters to the church. A novice sister held her arm to guide her; Sister Bernadette's young hand on her elbow. Blind now apart from shadows and imagined faces from memory. She sighed. Sensed touch of the novice's hand. Breathed in the evening air; remembered the years of waiting in the cloister; the anticipation; the prepared prayers; the youthful voice gone now, she mused, releasing a breath-like prayer. She recalled Sister Clare's embrace by the wall where the cloister bell-rope hung like a tail. God is my witness and saviour, Sister Maria had said. She's dead too, Sister Teresa, thought, peering through her darkness at the shapes and figures ahead. Was it Jude who had kissed her once or was it more? She wasn't sure. Time distorts, she muttered softly, but none took notice. She breathed the air; sensed the dampness; the evening prayers hung in the air of yesteryear. The novice squeezed affectionately; her whispered voice soft and child-like. Did she need the toilet? Was that what she said? Words carried off in the air like the dead friends of her contemplative life. She shook her head; squeezed shut her eyes until lights flashed behind them like a stormy night. Whether the novice was pretty or not, she had no idea; had no sense of her except the touch of hand or softness of voice. Papa was in his heaven, but Mama where was she? Do not let them touch she had said; men are such creatures. Flesh on flesh; lip to lip. Jude had kissed and lain with her, she thought through her muddled mind. Clare had held; dead and buried; her mole-tilled ground holy still, she wanted to say, but only sighed. Movement. Bodies moved. Sister Bernadette touched her arm; gently prodded onwards; said gentle words; failed to keep hold of; slipped away like soap in a bathtub. She tried to clutch the passing words, but silence returned black and deep as the darkness of her days and nights. Chill in the air. Sighed. The footsteps on stone; the echo of chants surrounding as she moved to the pews reserved once for the lay-sisters, none now, all left or dead and swept away like the dead leaves of autumn. She sat; uttered the prayers; listened for the soft voice of the novice nun; wanted to feel; to hold; to touch. Not too much, not overmuch. God be my witness and saviour, she whispered between prayers and chants, recalling a kiss, an embrace, but not of Judas, not of Judas. She breathed the chill air; imagined Clare was there; imagined Christ's breath on her cheek and brow; a light far off beckoning from a distant hill.
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Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 3:14 AM UTC
VESPERS 1967. (PROSE POEM)
Sister Teresa felt the cold evening wind through the cloisters. Shadowy figures sounded near by; the sense of waiting; the held breath; the stillness before the office of Vespers. She refused the wheelchair; wanted to walk along the cloisters to the church. A novice sister held her arm to guide her; Sister Bernadette's young hand on her elbow. Blind now apart from shadows and imagined faces from memory. She sighed. Sensed touch of the novice's hand. Breathed in the evening air; remembered the years of waiting in the cloister; the anticipation; the prepared prayers; the youthful voice gone now, she mused, releasing a breath-like prayer. She recalled Sister Clare's embrace by the wall where the cloister bell-rope hung like a tail. God is my witness and saviour, Sister Maria had said. She's dead too, Sister Teresa, thought, peering through her darkness at the shapes and figures ahead. Was it Jude who had kissed her once or was it more? She wasn't sure. Time distorts, she muttered softly, but none took notice. She breathed the air; sensed the dampness; the evening prayers hung in the air of yesteryear. The novice squeezed affectionately; her whispered voice soft and child-like. Did she need the toilet? Was that what she said? Words carried off in the air like the dead friends of her contemplative life. She shook her head; squeezed shut her eyes until lights flashed behind them like a stormy night. Whether the novice was pretty or not, she had no idea; had no sense of her except the touch of hand or softness of voice. Papa was in his heaven, but Mama where was she? Do not let them touch she had said; men are such creatures. Flesh on flesh; lip to lip. Jude had kissed and lain with her, she thought through her muddled mind. Clare had held; dead and buried; her mole-tilled ground holy still, she wanted to say, but only sighed. Movement. Bodies moved. Sister Bernadette touched her arm; gently prodded onwards; said gentle words; failed to keep hold of; slipped away like soap in a bathtub. She tried to clutch the passing words, but silence returned black and deep as the darkness of her days and nights. Chill in the air. Sighed. The footsteps on stone; the echo of chants surrounding as she moved to the pews reserved once for the lay-sisters, none now, all left or dead and swept away like the dead leaves of autumn. She sat; uttered the prayers; listened for the soft voice of the novice nun; wanted to feel; to hold; to touch. Not too much, not overmuch. God be my witness and saviour, she whispered between prayers and chants, recalling a kiss, an embrace, but not of Judas, not of Judas. She breathed the chill air; imagined Clare was there; imagined Christ's breath on her cheek and brow; a light far off beckoning from a distant hill.
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