painting when being bilingual, the naked phonetics of the english alphabet, and the diacritics on the polish one, for example -sh- of the former and -sz- of the latter, but the painting is still entitled: trying to capture what was being said without lip-reading but by optics encoding the sounds, so that someone bilingual might decipher; and yes, dependent of aesthetics / orthography the -rz- versus the ż.

azog
szak gaum'dasz!

blog
kruto, goniś... gunwondersmargen'ś.

azog
mor'rzyrljisz?

blog
golumdo, sza zu lisz sza za duh.

azog*
jam dysz! *** da kurz nak krza rzuk;
arz ga bejark gundabadul,
mar kam narm karszrz.
mulgaj! a'naj! ursdraj! tu pu nam - ah me c!

some nights I cry
others I shake
more often then so I yearn
I yearn to feel to for I only exist these days wandering through life admiring strange faces and emotions I once felt myself but I crossed paths with the devil who took any life I had left within me now he watches amused at the life he's subjected my soul too a life of forced emotion and smiles a life of laughter drowned out by reality

They say girls who listen to Jhené Aiko are toxic
And girls who listen to Summer Walker are dramatic
The ones who listen to SZA are eccentric
And the ones who belt out all three are chaotic
But why is it that female emotion is a threat?
Why does female expression make you upset?
Is it because you’re afraid of what’s next?
Of a woman realizing that what she feels towards you is regret?
Of a woman coming to terms with the hell you tried to make her forget?
Of her understanding that you’ll be forever in her debt?
As she grieves her heartache away with Jhené,
Misses you more with Summer,
And realizes her power with SZA,
She becomes an improved version of the woman you never deserved

swinging in the lilac flowers
listening to sza for hours
forgetting my ivory skin is solar powered
shedding my old skin before i devour
every moment on the horizon
succeeding no longer trying
law of least effort, divining
law of impermanence, time not wasted on crying, trying to cling
driving, light is dreadfully dim
but i keep my finger on the pulse
feeling the moment

1-Dil ki baatein agar dil me hi dab jaye,
Khuda kasam dil dardo ka manzar bn jaye,
Agar thori bhi smjh hoti unhe mere pyar ki,
Zindagi bita dete hum unki ruh me samaye,

2-Khudgarz nhi mazbur tha main,
Tere dil se bahut dur tha main,
Tumne mujhe us galti ki sza di,
Jis galti me bekasoor tha main...

silent afters. sza. tears rolling down my face into a never ending abyss. 
I miss you, i really ******* miss you. it's messing with my mind. 
I miss you so so much. 

silent afters. silent afters. silent afters. 
nothing silent about them, the silence. the bane of my existence. the emptiness right next to my coffee cup. too loud, the silence. the silence is too loud. 
 silent afters. lessons learned. I would love and live for you all over again, silent afters lessons learned. the nothingness leaves me cold and empty and nothing. 
lessons learned, none. 
you were something. something worth doing again. all over again. 
you were really something. 

silent afters. no regrets. just nothingness. with a slight bitterness of what ifs.
 what if I hadn't. where would I be. I doubt I'd be anywhere special, highly spirited sense. some things we refuse to take back. I could never, I would never.

Gather your books, your notebooks, your pages and pages
Barely legible Catholic school cursive, oil crusted papers
Coffee stains, cheese danish crumbs, ink marks on your thighs

Use your mother’s brain, your father’s tireless oxen energy
Your sister’s bravery, your grandmother’s mix of mango & tajin,
Your grandfather’s home grown guavas from the rooftop gardens
You come from a legacy, a star doesn’t explode in isolation

At my funeral play Jamila, play Nitty, NoName,
Rihanna, SZA, Mahlia, Kamaiyah, MIA, Nina,
Light a votive in the shape of Beyonce and baby Blue
Sing your blues, the chorus never sounded this good

Since that door slammed
I been a ram
Running through *****
Like Todd Gurley
Rocking Hurley
And traveling worldly
Yet I still remember your giggle
When Cardi would wiggle
Next to offset like a fiddle
Being played but the riddle
Where Corey Smith came from?
I thought you liked ****** dark as ***
Ok I get it upgrade and get a six S
I’m going to the supreme alphabet like SZA
Success
More like isosceles mess
But I still wish you best

I been in your dms
To see what you say
If I type “duck me?”
And you reply “Lick before you see

you know I need too much attention
for **** like that
sza
I need you
I need you
I need you
chemistry.....
always ends me
temporary love
more
I tried to tell you
I need more
don't try to deny me
ill switch up

I want more
can you give me more?

When I met you it was different
The next day you had me in the kitchen
You kissed me and you loved me
The next day you didn't want me
The next week I found you on the floor where we cooked and played Love Galore by SZA but the picture is bigger I never knew what you were into until I saw you on the floor