Philomena Mar 26

I do not want to feel
but I need it in order to heal
the days seems shorter and my nights longer I search for truth and peace within the world yet I never find it I'm met with lies and pain that causes me to grow colder a bed of tears is all I know and what keeps me comfort I sometimes drown in my own sorrow and scream for help while dying but no one ever seems to hear me...

Philomena Feb 13

A simple touch and my body trembles my toes tingle as my mind races and escapes my body and logic ceases , our body's intertwine in a dance of passion with sweat dripping on the floor in a harmonious  flow. Touch me as if I'm fragile and pretend to care if I break. For this one night value me I beg you.  As I let you in the gateway of my thighs you do not see you are entering my heart as well. My body once again begins to tremble at your touch yet my heart aches for the  passionate kisses I so desire but only kisses of lust linger on my lips. The gentle entrance to my kingdom I so seek is met by our body's moving in a dance of pain.  I continue to tremble at your touch while your burning desire fills the inside of me. Tears fall as I see the world in you and all I hold in your eyes is a gate way of pleasure between my thighs.

Philomena Jan 13

And from the tree I fell letting the wind take me where it pleased
so lifeless I'd float through the sky
where did all life go that use to flow so peacefully within my soul  
the beauty faded and the pain grew
the tears fell and it all ceased
every person I loved seemed to take a part of me as they left leaving with pieces that I don't know how to fit together , I would say I'm broken but that'd imply I could be fixed. People like me can't be Mended, our hearts have stopped far too many times and cried far too many songs of desperation, wore out due to a lack of love needed to keep pumping. People like me are not broken we are simply the dead disguised among the living

Philomena Jan 13

tell me can you love my black
even when it's about to crack
falling through gates of hell
your black don't crack but mine did
after too many lies and too many wounds that never healed before others grew
your black don't crack but mine did
after too many burns by kind actions with ill intent and too many souls that came but did not stay
your black don't crack but mine did
after too many cries of help that went unanswered and too many words that went unsaid
-Mena W.

Philomena Jan 13

and some nights I feel like ice that cools in the mid winter or crisp fall leaves that have just fallen, life less and dead at the end of their journey once so beautiful and radiant a sight to see some thought of thee then life came and the colors changed the greens turned into hot reds  then just as fast as it arrived the color left the leaves wrinkled and the wind came to collect its debt ripping its heart the leaf hit the ground slowly doing its last glide in the air as it hit the ground to no longer live again

Philomena Jan 13

be so high be so low
but many do not know
for the burden that I bear
I simply can not show
through tears and the pain
I hold smile and proudly reign
this throne that I sit on under a titled crown will soon come to an end with the devil at my door and my morals poor I must pay the debt of sins that my heart lead too for the spirit was before the flesh therefore forgiveness from the lord seems a bit far fetched for I sin then I cry and beg the lord hear my cry then the devil speaks to me and I fall being so weak

Philomena Sep 2016

Dear America,
How are you ?
I must ask what do you see as beauty . For I am a young black women who just want to be beautiful in your eyes and so I ask what must I become to be such in yours. Must I buy the hair of foreigners and wear it as my own since I know my natural hair and rough texture to distasteful for your eyes. I have become too ashamed of my appearance therefore please tell me what I must do to be beautiful. I know that my thick thighs and curves are not acceptable. I eat less and run more but I can't seem to quite reach the image displayed in the magazines. My buttocks are quite small and I do not have the means to pay for implantations but I want to be beautiful so I must find a way, right? Oh America my biggest blemish is my dark skin. I search for bleaching products since lighter skin women are superior and I must be part of the hierarchy of beauty. My skin contains this substance called melanin that I just can't seem to get rid of but of course I won't disappoint you I will find a way to become the right complexion.  America I truly do want to be beautiful in your eyes and will do what is necessary. I want men to find me appealing, I want my fellow women to envy my beauty, and most of all I want to be what you view beautiful. ..I have foreign hair now no more  of that rough natural hair, my skin is much lighter and I am a size zero now with a large buttocks. I do not recognize myself in the mirror but why does that matter because you think I'm beautiful now, right America?

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