Philomena Jun 13

if every tear could show the pain
if every sleep less night could bring me back life oh how wonderful that would be for I seem to wander in the night searching for my mind wherever it is that it has gone. I walk a dark and lonely road full of doubts and reflections that bring me nothing but chaos within for the answers I search for only you hold but what truth do you hold when you entered by body with no invitation and stole my strength to feed your own weakness now you parade with arrogance that came from cracking my heart open with your lies..such a dark soul that had never intended to love but to milk me for what I was worth then toss me like you so easily did.
-pbw

I was raped and wrote this a few months after. I'm struggling and just want it to all be over.
Philomena May 17
who

I am different I am me.
I'm the best version of me I can possibly be from the imperfections to the mistakes. I learn and rise with the tides moving my world forward.
I sin and pray for redemption and ask the lord to protect me. I've been through hell and still await heaven but on this earth I smile away right through pain knowing the lord protects me everyday. I rise to fight the world that seems to always be against me and though I do not win every battle. I know in the end I will win the war.
-pbw

Philomena Mar 26

I do not want to feel
but I need it in order to heal
the days seems shorter and my nights longer I search for truth and peace within the world yet I never find it I'm met with lies and pain that causes me to grow colder a bed of tears is all I know and what keeps me comfort I sometimes drown in my own sorrow and scream for help while dying but no one ever seems to hear me...

Philomena Feb 13

A simple touch and my body trembles my toes tingle as my mind races and escapes my body and logic ceases , our body's intertwine in a dance of passion with sweat dripping on the floor in a harmonious  flow. Touch me as if I'm fragile and pretend to care if I break. For this one night value me I beg you.  As I let you in the gateway of my thighs you do not see you are entering my heart as well. My body once again begins to tremble at your touch yet my heart aches for the  passionate kisses I so desire but only kisses of lust linger on my lips. The gentle entrance to my kingdom I so seek is met by our body's moving in a dance of pain.  I continue to tremble at your touch while your burning desire fills the inside of me. Tears fall as I see the world in you and all I hold in your eyes is a gate way of pleasure between my thighs.

Philomena Jan 13

And from the tree I fell letting the wind take me where it pleased
so lifeless I'd float through the sky
where did all life go that use to flow so peacefully within my soul  
the beauty faded and the pain grew
the tears fell and it all ceased
every person I loved seemed to take a part of me as they left leaving with pieces that I don't know how to fit together , I would say I'm broken but that'd imply I could be fixed. People like me can't be Mended, our hearts have stopped far too many times and cried far too many songs of desperation, wore out due to a lack of love needed to keep pumping. People like me are not broken we are simply the dead disguised among the living

Philomena Jan 13

tell me can you love my black
even when it's about to crack
falling through gates of hell
your black don't crack but mine did
after too many lies and too many wounds that never healed before others grew
your black don't crack but mine did
after too many burns by kind actions with ill intent and too many souls that came but did not stay
your black don't crack but mine did
after too many cries of help that went unanswered and too many words that went unsaid
-Mena W.

Philomena Jan 13

and some nights I feel like ice that cools in the mid winter or crisp fall leaves that have just fallen, life less and dead at the end of their journey once so beautiful and radiant a sight to see some thought of thee then life came and the colors changed the greens turned into hot reds  then just as fast as it arrived the color left the leaves wrinkled and the wind came to collect its debt ripping its heart the leaf hit the ground slowly doing its last glide in the air as it hit the ground to no longer live again

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