I saw you your beauty left me wondering what happened to me. Your voice has hipnotized me leaving me in your spell. I have no control only you have control of me your voice has paralized me making my heart explosed a million red roses im losing my mind when you lour me into your arms deep into a whole day of lustic *** with the night full of mistery and lust i dont know what to say the feeling of her every touch and her voice leave me breathless till I can't breath every sensation when she kisses me im completly losing my mind



The women of my dreams has put me in her spell paralized by her suductive love im  not going to try to escape when i have already escaped into pure love *** lust im finally set free of my demons when i was a falling angel saved by my guardian angel

Empty bottle...tired eyes...thousand of her unheard cries...wondering if relief to die? Stare at ceilings... heartbeat felt...dealing with the cards been dealt...a tangled mind and tangled sheet...trembling hands and unsteady feet...added years meant added fears...could not even count the tears...time seems fast & then seems slow...doesn't know which way to go...or what to do....yet thinking about what could be new...or even true...paralized by possibilities.                   All Rights Reserved * 2016 Cherie Nolan

there is paint
it peels from my eyes
in long gaseous ribbons
it is punctuated by
a bright blindness
where methodologies
reach no conclusions
paint peels from my ears
in uncontested echoes
projecting a self
generated audible universe
paint peels from my mouth
in black storms
of expanded consciousness
leaving behind a particulated
paralized partition
that leaves me disconnected
in a correspondence of color
A field of snow
turning blue under moonlight
in accord with the peeling of paint
like a light emitted by relative thought
paint peels, paint peels, paint peels

There's a combination of words stuck at the back of my tongue.
As i diligent search a way to self express, i discover
that my vocal chords have already given up.
I´m numb in my actions and paralized in my speech.
A blend of fear and past dissappointments
are causing a knot in my stomach
and arousing a battlefield between
the words on my lips and the words of my thoughts.
Swallowing through feelings and sentences confining my emotional vocabulary,
i continue to move myself with the words left and
the right intentions in the back of my head.
Drenched in fake smiles and fake laughters.
Wounded but still whole. I move on.
Till they become scars on the invisible side of my soul.
I know that there ain't no way that
you´ll ever dance to the rythm of my heartbeat.
So i'll continue to move myself in life on instrumentals.
Alone. Silently. Broken. Unspoken.

Lost in a body that remembers
She can feel every touch
Unable to move an inch
For if she moved she'd loose to much
Content to stay frozen
With his memory on her lips
But restless to get moving
And travel many trips
She is frozen by the fear
Of moving on and letting go
Yet set in motion by the need
To do what freezes her so

A hint of blue lit up her hair
Who was this dark beauty
Who just stepped out of nowhere
Who was this punk creature
A pierced face, so fair?

She tries to look mean
But she doesn't know
What I have been
The things I lost
The things I have seen

My gaze passes hers
And a moment I am paralized
As I know
She too realized
I'm in awe

This secret we now share
Me and the beautiful,
Punk, mean looking girl
And her blue hair

Turn out the light and let the darkness surround you.
As the darkness floods in, fear consumes you.
Fear of the darkness; of the unknown.
You stand there for a moment,
paralized by the shadows in the darkness.
What or who they might be. Soon enough though, you push aside your fear just long enough to run.
Where you are going you know not.
Light is all you want.
Light, the ability to see.
Even the dimmest of light will do.
You just want something that can push away the darkness.
But there is no light to be found.
Only darkness all around.
Now you've fallen and lie face down on the ground.
Fear now turns to dread as the realization that the light is gone sets in.
The darkness is now darker than the darkest of night.
Not even shadows are visible.
The dread turns to miserable nothingness as you give up.
Letting the darkness consume you, you now become a part of it.
Your mind goes blank and you just lay there, waiting.
For what, you know not, but you continue to wait.
For something
Anything.
Finally, dawn approaches and light fills the darkness.
But it's too late.
The darkness has already consumed you.
Though you may be lit up on the outside, inside you are still darker than the blackest of black.
Yet you continue on.
Hoping one day that darkness will be filled again with light.
Even the dimmest will do.
Until then, you continue on in the light,
while you're filled with darkness.
Waiting.

wild as the blowing wind
patient like the night
seeing you, seeing me
the first hidden light

the sprinkle water on you
will soon be vaporized
on a lava-like body
and i'm still mesmerized

from all direct words
till the warmth of hands
touch above your ears
in our timeless sands

like candles in an open window
fighting against the storm
stay awake and give
light in any form

my thoughts you speak
as a voice from outer space
the horse in your heart of fire
sure runs, but is ready to embrace

times of being, like in dreams
human at its peak
rough times of melting
strong and weak

from your old face changing
in enthusiastic times
till the fear of change
by our darker rhymes

makes me want to
crack you open like a peanut
then makes you able to
put me on the surgeon table, and cut

the poor balance of trust
appreciated to have found
the good, has overwhelmed
even though not bound

this is my freedom:
no need to feel paralized
my freedom is yours
and i'm still mesmerized

When you're walking through my head all night
(See what I did there)
My body becomies paralized
Undead
I embraced your selfish kisses
& kept you from the ocean
White deamon, are you still holding onto me?
Our minds hold the same memories
Know the same lyrics
We get tangled equally like bread-ties
I'm still twisted
& we both know that isn't fair

paralized, my eyes are wide
searching for the other side
I see them there, I stop and stare
but what's the point? they'll never care
with backs to me, they just can't see
the pain that dwells inside of me
my hands are numb, my tongue is dumb
the rains were gone, but now they come

For reasons of the unknown,
what is it about the snakes charm...

Could it be the hypmatising eyes,
that makes one feel paralized...

Could it be the hissing sounds,
that sometimes numbs the mind....

Could it be the site of it's fangs,
that keeps you near...

Could it be the bite of might,
which now the venom flows...

Your time could be near,
as you get feelings of fear...

The snake has now charmed you,
so what do u do...

Let the feelings hurt you,
because your time is due...

The way the word came out:
softly,
rightly;
Came thru my ears,
got stuck in my brain,
and choked my throat.
Breath,
cant catch,
breath.
Is cliché the fact that it is beautiful,
but truth cannot be denied, not even when repetitive and known.

Life goes on,
while I remain still,
paralized,
appreciating,
a bittersweet moment
more sweet than bitter.

Her voice collapsed in the room,
not as softly and warm as the other ones,
but mysterious and hypnotizing as no other voice ever was.

Are you paralized ?
Fear of rejection ?
Its simple: Six pages a day.
That´s it.
Dont wait for bursting out,  defeat resistance.
If you are going to wait the rocket, dont do it.
Indult is invisible and eternal
It is the self destructive king.

Are you face to face with fear?
Be patient, is marvelous,
You can´t forget to breath slowly,
Count for one to ten
But, what do you wait for ?
The amateurs wait,
They feel the fear and then dissapear.  

  Injustice?
     Adversity ?
         bad luck ?

******* with your excuses!
Put your Heart and Soul into the Work.
Do you prefer to die on the arena,
Or at the sidelines?.

The muse laughs at yourself
But she doesn't know
that the loss is the job.
This could mean losing everithing,
even your own mind.

  No love
      No money
               No fear

I have looked into the eyes of horror
And barely,  
Really hardly
I could whisper:
Rest in peace *******
You can´t **** me.

Ancy all night, body always in motion
Mind both calm and rough as the ocean.

I lay here now in my childhood bed
Thinking of ways to turn off my head.

Down my throat goes condensed sandman's dust
Anything to speed up the cycle is a must.

So now I count the seconds on my watch
They help me escape the life I've botched.

Those two baby blues is what my body wants
But in the morning, it's my actions that haunt.

They take me places, and make every sense real
As my body is paralized, I can no longer feel.

I long to give up my two friends that come by night
It's what my body craves, I can no longer fight.

My two blue babies give me so much freedom
They will never deny me entrance to my minds' kingdom.

First time I saw you,
there are no words
to explain
how pure I felt.

My lips stuck
wordlessly.

Everything seems to stop
while imposible thoughts
fly over reality.

How stupid can you feel,
But  yet,
how alive.

How long does it last
When it's forever
Rolled into the past
Running a fever
True colors, broad cast
One day as ever

All together, done
When another eon lies
Folding into none
Lows and highs
Whispers of old stone
Buried in the skies

Past time paralized
In incessant news
Eternal life sized
Waves of letting loose
Surfaces incised
From current abuse

Whatever goes back
Whatever waters away
Slips into the cracks
Only a matter of day
Some days cut deep
Most are lost to sleep

Made in 97 and has'nt gone to far,
She became my best friend, Odd for a car.
Alway's loved when we went out,
Driving up and down of any rout.
She would be there when I needed to go,
Just stop for gas and go with the flow.
Quicker than other's on any ordinary day,
Just wanted to show me she's here to stay.
Black and beautiful and not to big,
She never complained when I lite up a cigg.
I know she never smoked but she was thirsty a lot,
She would guzzle up all the gas that I bought.
She loved my dog's, took ride's with them too,
Till on her one day my dog Brutus spewed.
Fun and freedom that's all I had,
But then some mean man made me sad.
He hurt my buddy in the worst way,
Left her paralized in the month of may.
This man named Yazbek he denies all,
She was hit by a car and it was your's I saw.
Her face was crushed, she did'nt pull through,
Saying goodby to a special friend I once knew.
She gone forever waiting on that list,
While I am still standing here, very pssd.
A friend she was with a big heart,
I'm not so dear, I sold her body part's.
I'll find a new friend, I'm sure we will have fun,
It will never be the same as that one.
You were my first, I'll never forget,
Took you home right after we met.
Everyone liked you especially me,
I got you going with the turn of a key.
You would light up inside and on the road you would glide.
You did your job that's all I know,
Wish you did'nt have to take that tow.
Later day's my black friend,
Damage to your front we could'nt mend.

Unreal how life twist and turns i know im not gna make it, how do I when everything i love crumbles from beneath me. spinning I'm lingering on something that I've made real but doesnt **** the demons that haunt me, that taunt me obleek, diseased frustrated and paralized from the world

Silence
is the golden time
to say the perfect thing
or let it go
and let it slide into a point where someone has to say something
who is it
what will they say

how will they say it
is this going to hurt
will it be something personal
or too revealing
something i don't want to hear
or know about myself
or them

just sit in it. and feel your stomach tense up.
and feel the breathe in the room get ****** up
and the people
paralized
for a split second
not able to move

and then it clicks
and the right button was pressed
and all of the tension built up into the silence
fueled the laughter
and now there's stomachs busting
people howling
Shouting stuff out in the crowd
A room, spontaneously combusting into laughter

one by one
soldiers, knocked down, picked back up
And ready to be hit
with more
silence

Black and colourful
like stars in the night sky
twinkling- no sparkling
like a blazing fire
I can feel their warmth

I can’t look away
their angelic beauty possesses me
controlling my actions
dominating my thoughts
forcing me to feel

They make me
hear when I’m not listening
see when I’m not looking
feel when I’m not touching

When I gaze into your eyes I am paralized
I am lost

Oh I love your eyes
But
Your eyes
They are black

Earlier seeking somewhere
I could breath
in secret
An opportunity presented itself
and
Covering my tracks and slipping
Through the cracks.............    
............
stealthily .............
took my leave
Sure footidly i ran and scampered
The whole while feeling  a silly anxious childlike urgency like a
Toddler running from daddy
Cause i know he's gonnnnnnnna
TICKLE  ....MEEEEEEE....
Now no time for tomfoolery
This is dead friends peak
As i slowyly lay back on the bare rock its a little
Unnerving
The jutting stone cradles you so perfectly yet
Youre legs dangle 4500 feet above town
Its so far down you cant see it but theres
a coin operated telescope
Where
bets and braggers pay when they finally get
Here all they can say is nope
Needless to say im the only one
That ive ever seen sit here
Just some rocks and a huge fern
A perfect secluded solitude
A wam breeze bringing the smell  
Of sunday food
I lean ever so slightly
To view the carnival lights below me
And i slide .  .        .           .
Fortunately my palms sweaty it stops me
Although slapping the rock that hard
I swear it moved
And my heart murmured
I was a little concerned it wouldn't
Start back up again
I swallowed and took a breath
Both actually hurt.
I closed my eyes and re-positioned
I could smell dirt
Collected my nerves ,
Relax i said
Youre even more alive
Now
But lets never do that again!
Smiling on the outside !

Opening my eyes some how everything looked color enhanced and
Extra wonderfull
Watching the cumulus slowly churn
Above me
Like smouldering smoke
Took me to a better time for a short while
I felt free
I sat peacefully for a bit
In a sorta happy state of quandry
As the shapes in flux ever changing
The thought never occurred to me
It ..............
Was assuming disguises in effort to stall me
Although hinging on the menacing side
Being so far from me somehow seemed charming
A needed respite from the mundane
Now the nimbus turning charcoal grey
On this Melancholy Sunday  afternoon
As the autumn shy line consumes
Precious daylight
a dreary darkness
Like an empty heaviness a low
Pressure depression moves in
And overshadowed me
Within me i feel it
The impending doom
Looming above
has touched down
Groping blindly
Lurking around trying to find me
Gripped in fear and although slow
Im moving
Barely
a chilling breeze berefts the leaves from the trees
There icy rustling
Sounds like wind chimes made from bones
Strips me to my soul
Im all but naked and alone
The winds so cold
Pushing past as i exhale
Even the air i breath frozen in fear
From the ghastly thing behind
Looks like a spectere before me

And now im paralized i hear the funeral knell
Ringing for me
the same wind that hit my back now burns my face.
And i know now my time has come
It can smell me
Metaphorically im spinning a caccoon
And in it
Ruminanting within gloomy memories
Impatiently im waiting for in a short while even my soul will leave me
Why would it not everything that
Hasnt been taken has got up and left me
At this point i would be amazed if it didnt
...
......what im trying to say is this
Take my words exactly as they have been contemplated,
And weighted like stone chosen precisely , arranged ,braided ,
And conveyed in syntax and perfect timing
So when i say time apart from you is hard for me
I know youve only been gone a couple hours shopping
Look at me the house is a mess and im a wreck
Do you see what i mean
I couldnt find the vaccum so i thought id eat
Tried to make a sandwich  all the knifes are *****  left it started cleaning the room
Thought i heard my phone ring .maybey it was you .couldnt find that either then. I found the vacuum thought it wasnt working took it apart ....lost one of those little important pieces down the toilet ....... .......dont ask.... ..please       ......and then ....realized it wasnt pluged in.    ....
And thats when the toilet got broke......and coincidentaly
Where all the wated came from.i forgot that i lost the phone .then i wanted to know if you would pick up some.....  . .... . .  .  ........... .... ...... ......
........



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