often wonder how you think
but then remember I don't even care that much
cause your thoughts work in your own unique ways
that's extremely okaye , youre entitled to your voice
just please remember to breathe
give me a moment to process your minds technique
its often tumbling its way down
hard to wrap my head around when its just racing down
tryna touch ground without stopping to the direction its in
got me confused as much as their is to be
youre your own person I do believe
and your thinking is some sort of unique
that I can never get to reach me
and honestly I don't hate
im okaye with your ways of speak
but don't push me to the lowest selfesteem
leaving me without nothing to speak
cause you really made me like a tossed out dog treat
not having no feelings of what you really just did to me
I still can not speak
hard to believe , but im so fucken beat
youd left me out to be the meat for a final time
I cant handle the crossing line
I don't care to hear you speak all the excuses your mind can think
you've already made me so fucken weak
I cant breathe when I think about all the past
how it suddenly makes sense
im just in disguist and it hurts my head
it killed my heart
my only real what I thought was a best friend
doing some sly **** and playing me like im some *****
but for why
and for how
or but forreal
I can not even feel
you really played me
I cant remove my uttershock
still frozen in spot
frozen fucken thought
***** played tf out me
how tf  but what
I don't know now
but we aren't really friends now
and I know im still there
just not ever gunna be all there
cause you really cant
you don't and do but wont deserve to be someone I keep at my side
not a relationship
no more friendship
I took my foot off the floating ship
im just drifting away
you sailing away
but im perfectly okay
I got played by a *****
some funny **** to say
something so funny I cant wrap it aroud my brain
I don't care now
your thinking is its own unique way  
and I should want to know that technique
so I can be more on beat
see how you think
but honestly I rather just have a drink
forget that friendship was once a thing
im not even fucken weak
**** im living like theres nothing wrong with me
ive been hit with the stick
woken out a dream
who this ***** really could be
who this ***** is
man, I aint even trippen
it is whatever it is
im just happy it was something
that I knew could be a possibility
just thought more unlikely
cause youre supposed to be my friend
not what now some sort enemy
attacking when the lights went out
like the rest these sneaks
that just got something else going on
that makes them take a ride along
not controlled of their own
I got it , I know
but fool, take hold
youre the one who is supposed to have control
why you let them have tiniest type of leash
I know you aren't that weak
fucken speak
take some time to think
youre better then these thieves
don't follow their ways
pull away from their hold
see all the things you could have done
finally stand up and do what you keep wishing you would've
how come this is always coming up
aren't you tired of the same song
I know its played too long
that way I turned the sound off
im headed out cause I need something that cant be sung
so long . be gone .

You make me insane
Like maybe I should blow my brains
Maybe I'm not okaye
But I know
Someday I'll make through the day
With no tears pouring from my eyes
Or feeling like I want to die
You make me sane
Like everything will be okaye
But I knowill
Someday this will all fade away
With no more laughs
Soon it will all just be my past
You make what I wish not
But what I know not of
Cause this feeling is odd
This feeling is all at a loss
To what pain is caused
And the love it brought
You make me insanely sane
If that's such a thing?  
I know not of
Cause these words
These words don't go
& are nothing but scrambles from my mind
Showing what you've left me with
To piece together
what's left of the broken
It's all a mess
Maybe soon
I'll have it pieced perfectly together

thank you
you helped me find the truth
you were the life of me
whole life beautiful

when the fire burns out , I know it ain't pretty
but baby ima gone be okaye
they say things fall apart
I know in my heart we'll come back
and have a good laugh when we looking back

im just hopin we'll meet up some day
talk about where we been
all the ******* we been put through
how we always stayed strong
remember after all
im gone be here, no matter how long

take a step back
skip ahead if that's what you want
know we are young, and that we're growing old
but ain't a thing gone change
youll always remain, number one flame
how I see it even if we are completely broken
im willing to work with it
promise ill always be strong

youre the one that helped me make it through it all
know you don't exactly see it
no one elsse really gets it
I don't give a ****
if looking insane as I remain wherever you stay


whole life so **** beautiful
know you cant exactly see it
but you're the reason Im stronger then before
finding truth in whoever I am
you became most of life to me

let me just say
I know you claim to hate
but that's not in my way
cause you've been part of this great change
know there was lots pain
that why I write to remember
how far ive came
and who ive got to give thanks
for making me feel better about this life I don't wish to remain ',

got me wanting to stick around
watch the flames burn down
cause it is its own beauty
we may have fallen apart
but baby one day we're gone be back
have good laugh about all this
cant believe we met up again

honestly im fucken blessed
you don't know why I always claim this
cause you never saw more of  yourself
but honestly you made me who I am
stronger than before
I have you to thank for this
whole life beautiful
wished we never had to go own ways
in the end we will meet again
cause I aint given up that soon
youre my whole moon
reason I bloom
so im gunna always be there
even if that flame disappears
i'll stay near for when you give me the clear

we had fear from this journey
but thank yeeuus
I had you there
helping me through
just hope
I didn't mess your plan up
from us meeting up
always wanted the best for both of us
if it meant going opposite ways
I wouldn't be okaye but know ill be able to fight
keep myself upright ; least pretend im alright

we gone meet again
gone laigh at this **** one day
life has it amazing ways
to keep the flame from running to the ground
we're gonna rise from this
it worked out for both routes

take care now
ill be here , hmu when you like turning out
cause I cant lose you now
youre already far out
try not to completely disappear
I care

The past is the past
All that matters is where your heads at
Keep looking up
You'll see better days
No this isn't *******
I've been there done that
Lost myself
And broke myself down
But I put the pipe down
Decided to turnyield around
All it takes is asking for a little help
Don't be afraid
It will be okaye
Go ahead and reach out
Seek some help with your battles
You'll see it'll be the best decision made
I can for sure say it was for me
4 months clean
From the Devils seed
I have my head held high
Walking down a brighter path
Employed and a college student
How I wouldn't be here
If I still had that pipe twirling in my hand
And I just have to say
It was the best decision I've yet to make
So dont worry
You're not the only one fighting the battle
But it is only you who can decide
If help is what you need
to help you succeed and complete those dreams.
Good luck to you

MGK Love Overdose 551am
Septa 4 2018
      MGK love overdose just one of the very fuxken many songs I am so deeply in love
      They got me all thinking , reminiscing all kinds of everything featuring you
       Swear **** should grow old but it don’t and as much as I’m told “gotta let him go “ it doesn’t seem like so
      See now, hear me out right now
      Been a whole year almost since I had to go and leave you , not wanting it despite the life I had going on
       Knew it would most likely be the last time I’d see your face
         Some days I think the memories start to fade ; sort of makes me insane
         I ain’t want it that way , wish the memories shared would forever stay in brain  
          But life ain’t a blunt to rolll like that
        You drove me insane , made me this way
You’re not at all to blame ;
In fact I praise your name and the gains that came from all types of pain you made me face
          Don’t mean this all as you made Cause I too chose to go along and keep it the same
Though I lost my sane , went partially insane and had to move states
             Love you anyways
            Nothing so the same ain’t planing on it to change , gotta keep going this way till next sun come up
              Pull a chair up , this just started
A year last now , just about can’t let you loose
Wish you were near or magically appear
A year that I haven’t argued
A year with no joking and insults
A year no long drives
A year of no laughter
A year no real feel
A year no busting missions and late night talks till dawn
No hikes up the hills to see the views and just chill
No sneaking around or tryna keep it down
A year of no stares , glares feeling of little no care
Those eyes have not met mine in a year
And I don’t *** to cope
The *** is almost a year since we last had a bit of a blast
Making it all last
Wish it could not be the past
Hoping it was all never my last
A year since I heard your voice
Heard stories of your children and family , the fun and dumb things that have gone on
The times we spent , see not all great not all hell
We never felt the same or maybe we are insane
And couldn’t every admit and only commit to games of playing no same
We had to lie our feel or share and deny
Either or
For whatever
Doesn’t matter cause those eyes
Those eyes met my soul
I recognized it all too well
Felt good to be home
And now it’s s year since I felt
Your souls isn’t matched with mine
Actually in a fight I feel
And if we shall make it
Overcome this year of not speaking
This year of our separation
Baby I promise things could get great
Promised I’ll do my best to make it back
For you with you or not
Doesn’t change s **** thing
Ima ride for you till I ain’t got none left to run on
I know it’s dumb
But your my flame
We aren’t meant to forever separate
We’ll reunite , maybe not today
Just some day
Okaye
Latez .

There is no love for me
What a mess I've become to be
I take all things to heart
But still don't let it bother me
Heart made of gold
With love so pure
You'll be unsure of what to do
But I **** you not
I love so much
Never expecting much
I'm pretty ****** up
When you turn away
I'll be left to say
You'll never find another
To love as much as me
And okaye, what a cliche
But really, I give it all I got
To keep the ones I want

Lately I don't know what to think
You make me not okaye
But you make things really great
How I hate you like so
But wishing you were near
As my head becomes clear
No one stands near
I'm left unsure
Is this reality or my little fantasy
I'll wish you the best
Cause this love has got to go
For all the miles between us
Are for the better
At least, I think.

this one is a real one, gone be long one; bare with me if you tryna feel me and land two feet to how I think.
been for forever if I think, that I been tryna let this **** out.
I haven't wrapped my head around it yet.
still thinking it out, feeling it out , running around tryna figure this **** out.
cause how I speak about this is some real hard **** to do without coming out as something its not
Its still a hard thought, not even processed but racing to be blurted out.
how my mind got betrayed , I done been part of a fucken game
nd that's not okay
I want to scream and break **** for these voices talking all at once at the top their lungs
theyre all fucken lost , almost like sprung out bums that are on the run from the cops
cause you ****** some **** up , messing my head up
thought that **** had already been ****** up
but guess it could get ****** more
and I think it was too much
these voices don't shut up
I cant write about the bite
theres no fucken fight
just stranded in daylight
like hey take care now
you are some fucken fool
I wasn't really ever cool
so scoot scoot , I don't want to hear from you
is this **** true ?
my dude , you are a **** ,
cant fucken believe this ****
theres no fucken words to it
just **** the game
you played your turn , its game over
no next player turn
you cleared the scoreboard
for some ***** and two ice cream cones
hope they were great
cause you ****** up my mental state
aint ever cool no more
both walked out doors ,
without waving away,
no hate tiny bit a pain but
the door been erased
im perfectly okaye
stay the **** away
im not into games
where the rules are whatever you decide
got better **** to do
none of it involves you
sorry dude ,
this is last goodbye
till another life
take care and always be safe
remember that game can always be changed
so watch your ways
cause you too can be played
and youll be never same sane
take that blame for chasing fame

Can’t complain
Feeling lame
Having this pain
Wishing I could have stayed
Wondering about your day
And if you’re okaye
Did you eat today
Or forget to rest
Be over stressed
Underdressed
Like you getting pressed to impress
Become a version of success
That doesn’t express
What you wish to address