You think the painful sound
of goodbyes,
are the worst,
that there can't be
anything more unimaginable,
than that,
but I cup my ears,
a sound more deafening,
as eardrums break & my heart,
brought every time in the leaving
death isn't the only way,
but as I lie here next to you
in the silence with your back turned to me,
I contemplate that thought,
connect with me emotionally you say,
I've tried,
I'm not a mind reader
after all,
no communication,
will **** it every time,
so true,
not matter how intelligent I am,
the cold air so telling,
where'd we go anyway?

We act like were good,
such a stupid show,
stupid girl, stupid love,
I say well done,
my dear,
I say to you,
hey bravo,
that young man was here today,
again,
I didn't ring him,
he did just stop by,
I think,
and he sure thinks I'm special,
& I am,
don't you know?
he kept saying so and that you didn't,
he sees what you didn't notice,

I heard a soft grumbling in his voice,
a sweet wondering,
sounds of temptation,
relieving of frustration,
calling my Gypsy heart,
I'm faithful
but you give me a loving kiss,
& a hug, say how wonderful I am,
we look so happy,
I play along,
laughing,
oh you praise my hands,
my cooking,
my sense of humor,
how charming,
very talented,
a poetic license to ***** me over?

He says, I'm beautiful too,
he sees,
they do,
oh & I can dance, wow,
except,
too bad you never dance with me,
even 2 left feet could hear the beat,

& those boys you keep telling 'em,
'till they're green with envy,
and wanting a piece of that pie,
tongues are waging,
all over this town,

I hope you're,
not wonderin' why,
I know that you love me,
I do, I truly do,
but the fact is,
passion shouldn't be so elusive,
or a club you belong,
one so exclusive,

I don't want to be objectified,
don't you see the tears I've cried?
you know, you must,
how hard I've tried?

stop saying those things,
I'm much more than that,
like good poetry is?
you don't want to touch me,
and why?

Loving is free,
and I wish you knew,
how much I wanted you,
I don't NEED anything except
your touch,
but I need it very much,

  I know you don't think that's true
used to seem worthwhile,
had value,
we ached for alone time,
snuck it in,
stolen moments,
stored for later,
you're hibernating
it's all used up,
used to be so optimistic,
now I'm just realistic,

I'm so sorry we disappointed each other,
Love is not so easy,
you asked me to leave,
then said I left you,
a constant tug-of-war,
& constant sorrows,
I never know
exactly where I stand,
seems you left a long time ago,
I just can't figure it out,
gone in empty demands
I quitely folded my hands,

I prayed & I stayed,
my heart never strayed,
even when I was betrayed,
until today that is,
until the unbearable wasting,
eats me whole,

& maybe,
baby,
time to stop this unpoetic rhyme,
I think it's now,
to let this Gypsy spirit to go,
time for me to head,
get on own the road,
time to hit the dusty trail,
that driveway is a callin'
I hear that highway,
hummmm,
and the wind in my hair
& ain't that I don't care,
as my tires are sinking,
here into the sand,
not quite what I had planned,
I put that water bucket down,
cause I'd be likely here to drown,

I just want to be wanted,
the way you want her,
the way he wishes I wanted him,
and the way that he wants me,
to be the only girl that you want to touch,
that you want to kiss
feel, that you want me again,
emmmmm...I can taste it now,
so sweeeet,
I can feel it too,
but I ain't warm no more,
I closed that fridgid door,
and I know that I'm not the one,
you'll never be alone,
you got your memory of her,
a fear of getting close to me,
all to keep you warm this winter,
like a bone,
she'll never leave,
or let you go,
it's interesting lovers treat each other
the way they never treat a friend,
but you're my friend, until the end,
and I'll never really say goodbye,

You & I know it's time for me,
to say farewell,
I grabbed my keys
and I grabbed my coat,
cars waiting, gotta go,
still nothing,
nor a peep,
quiet as a church mouse,

Sang all the desperate love songs
written all the Poetry I can,
you were the centerpiece
of my obsession
I wrapped around you,
like you were my whole world,
thought I was still waiting on your arms,
your touch, a kiss
just turnaround,
but I know now,
that's not true either,
can't change it, can't go back,
or get there from here,
and there's someone else out there
who's wondering and waiting for me
still,
I feel it, like a beat
calling me home,

thank you for sharing yourself,
what you could,
I learned so much
to want more.

My goodbye wish?

I hope you find that too.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

i am walking across thin ice
waiting to hear that final
crack
that lets me know
i am about to plunge
deep
into the fridgid water
and i know i wouldn't even fight
to come back up
because once i go down
i cant come back up.

Nurturing & warm
caressing your skin,
I said not a jinn,
or concerned about Sin,
******* your heart,
just let me in,
as lips press your neck,
calming down spirits,
comforting in fridgid nights
baby feels so,
... very right,
elder, yarrow & peppermint
aromatic & pleasantly sharp,
like a sweet sounding harp,
I put a spell,
there in the smell,
emmmm,
so appetizing..
slightly sweet,
& spicy, nice,
surprising treat,
hot lips are ready,
for you purse
my Gypsy love,
for you,
I'm lifting curse,
& healing remedies
massaging shoulders
heated flesh
don't worry everything's
going to be alright, tonight,
I seem to say
& stay, breathless...
find my sun has gone away,
as I await your arrival
or an invitation on some other day,
until then,
I steep a cup,
preparing again,
for the cold.

Cherie Nolan© 2016

It's feeling cold
& kind of bold,
that fridgid air
North winds blow again,
such a chilling bone
the cloak's we wear
we think we hideout
from our addiction
and our affliction
can't buy it back
keep a course
or stay on track
I got conviction
& stirring diction
this isn't fiction,
& fortunately,
a good depiction
of how a heart works
but no matter what I say
no matter when I stop to pray
on any single given day
it comes,
I feel it there,
I do, I swear,
probably gonna sound all wrong
maybe it won't last too long
but she won't touch you like I do
or  touch you like I could
or love you like you know I would
do I just keep inviting,
rehearsing, reciting,
& just keep on writing
it could be so exciting,
you're in my mind
& if the stars aligned
I think we'd find
two star crossed lovers
who hide beneath covers,
as lips meet
& love tasting sweet,
so delicious & nutritious
you kiss me once
as lightning strikes,
a fever spikes,
out of control
or an asteroid falls,
a nuclear explosion,
a heavenly angel,
he comes & he lands,
into my eager and long waiting hands,
slip past the gaurd & easily spilt sand,
& into my arms,
& safe from all harm,

we,
could find,
a 1 in a billion chance 2 love
&
a 1 in a TRILLION
kind of love. ❤

Cherie Nolan

it was still pitch black when she slid out from under the princess and pea
sized stack of her mother's quilts

her feet slapped the chilly
wooden floorboards
of her grandmother's screened sleeping porch
as she scurried into the main house

made her way into the kitchen
snatched several day old biscuits
stashed them in the pockets of her flowered flannel robe

silently, assuredly she swept a mason jar from the pantry shelf
carefully crept to the icebox
poured herself a fridgid, frothy jar of cow juice


slid silently

out the side door into the crisp predawn air
of the country morning

on winged feet

made her way to her favorite meadow
plopped unpretenciously under the
welcoming branches of grandfather oak
snuggled into the ruff bark of his trunk

a bite of biscuit
a sip of cold cow juice

a smile

what better way to begin a day
than welcoming
the bird's songs?


patiently she waited
the sun began to rise
the field flowers turned  their faces toward the light
as her feathered friends songs began


smiling, self satisfied she said outloud, to no one in particular,

it is good to greet the day
it is better to catch the first worm

Fridgid air  
Aches my bones

Slow exhales  
Imitates clouds of a smoker  

Dusted frost
And rosey cheeks

Remind me  
Of our winter fling

Tell me a story,
tell me everything about your days,
the ones that had you laughing into the
never ending, hazy sunsets,
the nights that tore your soul to pieces,
only to leave you void and alone in the
decaying moonlight.
Tell me, please. I would love to just know,
every single idiosyncrasy that
defined your being.
Whisper it shyly if you must,
into the fridgid Winter air that
bites briskly at my cheeks,
in the hollowness that reverberates off
of this desolate city’s streets,
while everyone tucks in early.
Speak slowly, please,
through the melting ice, dripping
onto the pavement while you
help awaken Spring.
Sing a simple song through the
birds rediscovering life,
mutter a word in the commotion
of a typical weekday commute,
plant the seeds of memories,
to bloom in Summer heat
and unnoticeably appear to me.

My parents still ask about you
And I roll my eyes
And pretend I never think about you

but every time it rains
you reappear in my mind
It brings me back to the day you left

When the clouds cried along
And the sky turned pale as my skin
On the fridgid June day

I don't know how to feel
angry or sad
and I'm still as confused as I was back then

The dead they dance in the evening
in the shadow of the mountain dark,
their song the shriek of the banshee's wail
their bones a beating resonance
on the skin of a fridgid world,
but they long,
how they long for a life once lived
memories, teasing, fading, lost,
while we, the living, skip beneath
clear skies and a brightening sun
with never a thought for tomorrow
nor a care for the past thats gone
but oh how we fear,
how we fear the dark
and the evening yet to come.