I

Bright blues and youthful yellows induce a daze of derealization,
Heavy haptic perfumes fill the nose,
All that is heard is soft music and softer chatter,
Standing among the spring dresses,
Feeling like an odd hallow mannequin,
As pretty girls and ugly women pass by,
The dumb blonde fakely smiles to my aunt;
Who holds up a spring dress.

II

It it Ireland's biggest lingerie section I understand,
I read that....somewhere...



-Jamie F. Nugent

Densely fogged
under caked make-up from yesterday's tears
fakely disguised beneath the crowd
of masochists and nonbelievers

Hearts plead and bleed as one
based upon no one at all
seething fear pounded through fists of rage
anguish of lost hopes and lost causes

Where do I go
for whom do I show
should I grieve
for a land that is no more than make believe?

Despairing and looking for cheap cigarettes
they gather on their gravelly haven
spurning the world and hating
what it's become
nothing but **** and ***

Those who came before us
naive double standards fearing our new status
the putrid stench of change clings to our chains
burdened by the nonbelievers

Where do I go
for whom do I show
should I make believe
in the world we grieve

I solemnly swear
I say things I don’t mean
and curse at everything
stuttering around in heels I used to wear
fakely excited at every **** thing
like I have to fill every awkward gaping hole
everybody knows
who is right and who is wrong?
I stopped asking a long time ago
where I am in the distance
I hear only loud noises I feel nothing
I will not come out of my shell
funny how I say it like I have a choice
girl, you’re so out there yet so withdrawn
I solemnly swear
days collide into one another and I don’t lift a finger
I’ve been having dreams
where I throw people overboard just to save myself
waiting for them to drown before crying
“man overboard!”
how do I tell you that there are parts of me that rot and keep rotting
do I tell you I didn’t call the ambulance
I shouldn’t tell you I set the house on fire
wake up every mourning and solemnly swear
my condition started improving from the day you left
I’ve only been getting saner and saner
but even so, not much more myself
I should have more regard for life in general
I was not raised this way
walking the streets only half-awake
can I please live half-asleep
my mind didn’t use to be this blank
what is right and what is wrong?
I ceased wondering a long time ago
has it been two months or two years since?
I told you where I am time does not flow in a linearly fashion
I solemnly swear
the world should just revolve around me
while I judge you so hard
get below me
I am so awful just kidding
is it the time to be serious or immature
I give up just kidding
you wanna play the pretending game
two can play at that game
right hand up
look serious now girl, you can laugh later
yeah right hand up but not too high
palm facing out, say the stupid line
I ****
“I solemnly swear I am decent”

by Arcassin Burnham




....and while kissing her in the hallways,
im sorry you had to see that,
im know your kinda new here,
but you needed a guy for a fact,
troubled girl,
with some bad memories,
we've been in the same boat,
and the day i seen you in guidance,
i knew oneday we would have spoke,
the illusions of your blonde hair,
long as the silver water fall,
i knew that you would be there,
someone that i didnt have to call,
started talking on facebook,
she came right out of the blue,
to take the time i really took,
to get a beautiful look at you,

do you talk to people often?

girl where you from?

how long you been here?

if i called you , will you come?

Vamperific eyes,
and a cancer just like me,
tense in some places,
wanted our names on a tree,
oh what i give to see right through your soul again,
with those eyes making me mellow,
from you im high again,
just a couple of rebels,
born for what the world was for,
as cruel as that may seem,
we didnt leave with an open door,
we both trust issues,
but always played games,
look as old as we were,
we've been through the samething,
smoking what we could find,
in hopes that we dont turn to flames,
turn to fire when i hug you,
and kissing your pretty face,
i had no doubts,
well actually alot,
but i swear to god that would never cheat,
cross my heart or shot,
but she was already with me,
because of that mistake,
how she not know i did that,
just to get her attention fakely,
but mostly likely it didnt end that way,
felt like dieing that night,
calling on the phone and explaining,
as well as that night didnt go right,
and so i lost her,
hope she forgives me oneday,
but for now,
i dont wanna see her face,
and thats real.

clip god's eagles
they praise god at every single turn
and worship him like an addict high
blessing everyone and themselves
even their aeroplanes are blessed
with god's name on the nose
this applies to both civil and military
the warplanes especially are blessed
with pilots who are adept at killing
what does god think about this?
or should we ask the devil?
ten thousand killed in the yemen war
blown to bits by saudi bombs
dropped by planes with god bless
painted on their nose
tell me is this a wise thing?
what is holy about these heinous act?
i'm sure god has something to say
when he speaks who will listen?
the heathen muslim saudis
who use fakely blessed jets
to **** terrorists and civilians
and further an unnamed cause
in the name of who, god?

It's seeping under my skin
Dancing in nothingness between
Flakes
Irreplaceable beauty of harmony
Even with disgusting oily
Flakes
Feels like a drunkard
Living the spring in fall
While it's falling flakes
Flakes of life, flakes of distress
Disappearance of a mandatoriness
It's seeping under my skin
The toxicity of uncertainty
Blindingly bright enlightening
Yet destructively disappointing
Like a cold shower of frustration
Like a suppressed determination
Fakely exhilarating
But depressing in practice
A resonating unreliability
They itch
Stalk you to death
Stuck in a death bed
Going eternally downhill
Still though they're
Still beautiful
Dancing among the flakes

As if time is a capsule encasing all within it
Just like the thousand mile stare we give, that suppose to be legitimate
How hard it feels to smile fakely, wilst your body aches
A self reminder of what other do that we can't
Keep moving, every minute
Don't know what you heard
But they call me Jenn it to win it.💯

sciatica and its toothpaste perfume
it's only one side of the body
so think on the bright side

i can take it
it's only one side

doing everything it shouldn't
smelling like toothpaste
thinking about oscar wilde
and all the wonderful short stories
he would be writing about the NPC
if he were alive today

while even the onions mold here
that's just how much
nothing rotten lasts

it's just renewed with terms like
inter-sectional feminism that will never do anything
for me

beloved terms now used by former date rapists of the 90's
or explored in the context of a service oriented dom
man but not at all man
backbone free
because the missing spine
is incapable of pain

everytime it holds up the protest sign
in cal anderson park

what do you do
when you miss understand
everything about yourself
and re-enter a mirror so fakely
but change your roll to switch
before changing it back to sub

sub sub
human

wish i never spoke your language
i never want to hear the word
dehumanizing again, because i'm
not done telling you
who you really are
because i'm never done
watching you misinterpreting
and ruining everything

Fiddle faddle
Twitter twadle
Use some CAPS!

Call out SNAPS!
Sez rez Prez
Fake! Huge! Fakely huge!

I remember sentences
I remember sense
Nothing rhymes with orange