Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
aviisevil Jan 2014
It's been a while and I haven't slept
I'm too cold now and I haven't wept
The numbness gave way to madness
And now I'm feeling fine
Now I smile once in a day Isn't it a good sign
But the urge to take a hit makes me weak and dissipated
It never let go of me even though I truly waited
And I'm slowly walking towards the edge of my story
Ready to fly for a while before I take a fall
Life is scattered In a nightmare
But I don't have the strength to burn it all
And I'm slowly losing sanity
Yesterday I saw a cow fly
It hissed at me like a snake
It hurts that it didn't even say goodbye
Before it took off for the meadows
Where I hope it gets beaten by the troll and dies
Enough of my sweet dreams
I'm not delusioned enough to believe 'em to be real
But I'm getting cold and old now
There is just no way that I can heal
And I fade away like the dinosaurs
But not as cool 'cause there's no super-volcano or a meteorite
And cobain told me I should burn away
Something about burning and showing them light
It's better to burn than to fade away
He wrote on his suicide note
Gun-shot or a nuclear holocaust
I seriously need some votes
I can't make my mind about how this stupidity might end
And to go out as decently as I can
Those religious folks I don't Want to offend
Or they'll waste everyone's time preaching about a god thats just too bored to even care
If he's there somewhere maybe of earths existence he's not even Aware
We're so tiny, I wonder if he can even see ourselves
Tell 'em apple guys to gift him an iPhone , so he can google himself
And see for himself that '****' is more googled than him
That he has lost his crown
All of the religious folks reading This ****
Please , don't frown
But still, in-spite of my pleas if you still want to
Fine , go ahead
Just letting you all know I'm 'gonna sin again
There's a ******* my bed
and I think you can make it out where it'll lead
I know I know , I'm going to hell and I'm never 'gonna be freed
But who cares
its not like they're 'gonna give em girls to me in heaven
There's no point to refuse now
And On the other hand someone said we can do whatever we Want to
Than hey , why is this **** even going down ?
I told you I'm deranged but you didn't believe
It was nice letting it all out and now I can sleep
K3410N Feb 2013
There really is something magical,
Whimsical even,
About driving through the trees.

A forrest even.
Something wild even though
Humanity has tamed it
Enough to drive through.

We clear the trees
Flatten the land
Pour the concrete
And make sure
There's a destination
At the end.

Everyone wants to rush
Humanity has trained themselves
To go as fast as possible
To get things done.

Yet everyone says
"Its the journey,
Not the destination".

Liars.

They've delusioned themselves
Into not believing what they say.
Hypocrites, I say.
Liars.

This is nature's true beauty.
Don kingsley Jun 2017
I know I'll never be wealthy

I never wanted paper

Kind of wanted that cape

Or the privilege behind a cape

Tame I wasn't

But I am now

So i'm not me

But who was I anyway?

I was a fool.

Thought I could be charming

But charming doesn't

Put the rock on the band

Just put's a band on the finger

With nothing to follow

And you know

That's a road most travel alone.
Jack Turner Nov 2010
I was delusioned
When I thought
Hate and Love
Were two different emotions.
I have you to thank
For setting me straight.
Your actions have confirmed
That these once opposites
Are now one and the same.
Your actions conjured in me first,
This smouldering Love, and now
A burning Hate.

Why couldn't I have been enough for you?
Why couldn't you tell me the truth?
Why couldn't you love me for me?
Why couldn't I let you go?
Why did I go through what I did for you?

Because I will always love you.
Aaron LaLux Jan 2017
Her eyes look past,

past my postured figure,
past the drunkard who’s ****** himself,
who sulks in his **** soaked pants,
sulking in drowned regrets and fog,

past the high heeled woman,
who steps over the drunkard’s liquid lines,
which flow across soot stained concrete,
upon this boulevard on this street in Budapest,

we could have been anywhere.

She’s in a bad mood,
doesn’t want to talk,
doesn’t want to listen,
probably doesn’t want to even live,

I understand her,
better than I care to admit,
she’s battling a lung affection,
she’s battling the delusioned stares of countless lustful men,

I tell her she doesn’t have to talk,
I tell her she doesn’t have to listen,
I tell her she’s welcome to come in,
to my sanctuary and simply exist there,

she refuses all my offers,
and I wonder,
what she sees,
when she stares past everything she sees,

I tell her I’m going to write a poem about her,
she asks why,
I tell her I’m a poet and that’s what I do,
I write about moments just like this one,

even though I know words are only words.

I know the frustration,
of trying to explain the unexplainable,
I know the frustration,
of trying to put all this in prose that’s easily digestible,

and herein,
lies the paradox,
if ignorance is bliss,
then genius is torture,

and we are both tortured,
and we are both in denial,
and we both know,
we may never see each other again.

Her eyes look past,

past my postured figure,
past the drunkard who’s ****** himself,
who sulks in his **** soaked pants,
sulking in drowned regrets and fog,

past the high heeled woman,
who steps over the drunkard’s liquid lines,
which flow across soot stained concrete,
upon this boulevard on this street in Budapest,

we could have been anywhere…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

07/09/16
Another True Story...
She May 2015
The morning sky faintly blue
A gust of wind rustling leaves
I don't know why you laugh
At the boats bobbing in the harbor
Your little feet don't reach the ground
As you sit on the bench next to me

I can't believe you belong to me
Your eyes the same grey blue
Standing two feet from the ground
You disappear into a pile of leaves
Already forgetting you don't want to leave the harbor
Your innocence makes me laugh

You reminded me how to laugh
Unknowingly you saved me
From the dark thoughts I harbor
That once made me so blue
I had become someone who always leaves
But you brought me back to the ground

I couldn't watch them lower you into the ground
All I could hear was your laugh
And the rustle of dead winter leaves
The naked trees mourned with me
Their tears made of sap & mine so blue
And salty as the frozen harbor

Why'd you have to go to the harbor?
Is it so hard to stay on dry ground?
It's enticing waters gleaming blue
Swallowed you with a menacing laugh
Taking you away from me
A reminder that everyone leaves

Everyone's child eventually leaves
Sailing across the promising harbor
But not in the way that you left me
Unable to pick myself off the ground
In a delusioned fit I hysterically laugh
At a bird in the window with feathers so blue

I hope the harbor in heaven is just as blue
And while you wait for me I pray that you laugh
That same silly way you did in the leaves on the ground.
Free Bird Jun 2019
& I think maybe that’s what’s fked me up the most
The people that have hurt me the most were those that were close

& those that didn’t care
Smiled, acted polite & shared
Their fake, crowd pleasing personas
with me

Smile to my face, then vanish into black
Only to text back
Months later

Oh sorry, it’s been hectic
I’ve been soo busy
Finding myself
Far away from you
But would you like to come out for a brew
Perhaps

Meanwhile the people that tell me they love me
The people that tell me they’ve always had MY best interests in mind while they themselves made decisions that affected me
Without me

Leaving me for my own good
Staying away from me for my own good
Telling me that I’m too good
For them

& which one is better
Really
Which one is worse
Or more real
Is anything real..
Anymore?

All I know is that I’m tired of the ****
This technological abyss
Where people can come & go as they please
Eternally

IT’S NOT OKAY
I will not come out to play
I will not twirl & dance for you
Every time you want to wind me up

For old times sake
So you can recreate
A distant memory of former bliss
What is this?

But utter confusion
You’re delusioned
If you think I’ll ever spin near your orbit again  
& no we can’t “stay friends”

For fks sake
Just leave me be
Jennifer Weiss Jun 2014
I am what I have always been.
I am just clearer now.

I am still the adjective you love to say,
Just better defined somehow.

Knowing everything will complete you and destroy you all at once,
You are not crazy
You are not alone
You are not delusioned
You are not ego
You are not person
You are not son

you
are
the
results
of
illusions
**undone
Above this plane.
Lucie Apr 2018
i wish you’d look me in the eyes
don't even try to hide your lies
i see a storm brewing in our darkening sky

and out of your mouth
spews nothing but hate
if only we'd changed
but now it’s too late

am i delusioned?
am i losing you?
you were faking all along
i know that you knew
quit blaming me when you’re just as guilty too

you rear your head, the thunder claps
time to strike a pose, you've won the match
taylor Dec 2019
that ramshackled wax house situated in the lonely ‘Sticks,
where flocks of muddle-minded sheep would whimper,
this obscure grove you attempted escaping to for it only to retreat infinitely further,
birds shrill that knee-knocking prayers were not to heal your sickness,
leaden dirt kicked up in the driveway by his stuttering pick-up truck,
    his hefty-booted footsteps cracking warnings,
two folks roosting there,
    they skimp along on scanty paychecks,
    when’s the last time you spruced up?
hushed deeds done behind doors, back porches, piddling sheep ranching, 9-to-5 waitressing,
a domestic trophy, coaxing you to product with a simper or an act on her knees,
a bride of winsome nineteen
from a limited nuclear family yet disowned as an unfaithful *****  for hobnobbing with the riff raff,
traded names to be a ‘Cherry’, unbecoming displays of skin, hootin’-hollerin’, shake her fist to the Heavens and toss her mane, sneering and bad-mouthing, rebellious attitudes of subsisting on the ‘wild’ aspect of life,
did you think you could your persist youthful life negligently forever?
psychotically ‘steadfast’ to her brutish man,
RIDE OR DIE!                    hard whiskey, cigarettes, and phone calls,
he narrates her stories, she sings delusioned hymns,
their day comprising of blackberry kisses and black coffee grippings,
of bitten bottom lips and benign bruises,
    violet caressing her inner thighs, unbuckled passion to the eye,
                        pose on his knee, crooked grins
dancing for him in wiry linen lingeries, to strut her lithe yielding legs,
                          straddle her in-between those hush sheets,
                                    one hot breath,
does he flinch when she first handles him unexpectedly? does he gaze into distances far and mumbles abstractedly?
       “No one will love you like I do.”
    spoiled excess wool in wicker baskets,
                         does she stash a packed suitcase beneath the bed?
                         red lipstick,
                                        polished pistol,
                                       hotdishes,
to you, the lamb of which she stalked,
    what transfixed you? was it her beggar puppy eyes or the muscled haunches? some boyish fantasy for a mature woman who you observed sunbathing on her lawnside?
                he had that lean meat where his sighings exhibiting his ribs,
                that fond, innocent sense desiring a mother-figure,
you met her under the hollowing light of the street lamp,
what meager knowledge of each other did they know? she cannot fulfill her promise to whisk you away to coasts free,
        soaking the laid-towels in fields, a rhythmic guidance for the inexperienced,
did she think of him instead, preferred? and a warm bed?                                         preoccupied,
caught! in the act of entanglement,
did they hear the din? his baleful bark? your blanched bleat?
springing in defense, muddied soles as tangible sins,
his flash-fire eyes, pulsing veins with an envious rage,
a preaching of her ****, his fractured heart, love so sacred one can NEVER betray the boundaries,
did he clench his hands around her throat? oh!
his demands that he pronounced! **** you with the pistol he brandished zealously,
MANDATORY!
          Moon as my witness,
                            who was your Savior in that moment? where was your merited divine intervention?
but slow of action, faint of heart, grasping her hands he forced the weapon, he plyed her finger to pull the trigger,
             the lamb’s final shallow breath, the hounds smacking their ****** gums,
one cold breath,
The snow must have felt blistering,
how frightened she became, alter her standpoint,
but she could flee as she thirsted! the yank! the ******! to the ground,
                    the punishing baseball bat to ******* her legs,
dousing, saltish tears, rouge lips gasping, sporadically whimpering between bitter laughter,
his hand on her neck skimming gradually, gracefully, between her blades, warm,
gingerly cradling her, splintering voice, apologies like flurries,
            that day summer’s day when they first married in front of the grove,
         she remembers her billowing linen dress, the way they waltzed in lush grass,
                                would the world chasm off beyond?
        he would kiss her again in precisely the same manner as once before,
fall desperately in love with him, firm, truely steadfast, unpacking her suitcase,  
mosey back towards that lit house of wax, that far-flung street lamp and the dispersed sheep,
“Take me home.”        
                                “No one will love you like I do.”
Kathleen L Hicks Feb 2017
(c) Kathleen L. Hicks

The well of wisdom runs deep,
Filled with knowledge for all who will seek.
As down through the ages, man added pages
Of truths to store up and keep.

The mountain of myths is steep;
Many climb there delusioned and weep.
Built on promises grand but too far a leap,
With theories none can repeat.

The wide well of wisdom awaits
For those who dare to dive in,
You may surf there for a lifetime;
All you need do is begin.

Many who have gone before us
Have pooled many facts to show
Truth through thoughtful thinking
Reveals what we need to know.
Surbhi Dadhich Jun 2018
Engravings of trampled sands
Irrepressibly brutally invidious
When motioned irresistibly
Through crystal delusioned prism
Array of brandishing invocationing
Spectrum gleaming grapple
Cure, perseverance, persistence,
Pledge, pros, plums
The lazarus ray shone legacy..
Nathan Alexander Aug 2018
Because life wasn't so kind to give us what we want,
we instead observe virtual worlds,
read the pre-written words,
date or see a character date cutesy, unrealalistic boys and girls.

But that only goes so far,
those worlds are more temporary than ours.
They mostly end in hours.
Don't you wish that you had the superpowers,
to enter those worlds, and make them ours?

Hey, if life's so pathetic and sad,
why do we choose to go on, and
not give up all that we had,
can you really call that bad?

So then...
Who am I?
Where do I belong, when do I feel fulfilled?

I mean, the lucky have their moms and dads,
I guess that makes some stay, yeah I understand,
but that's only until they're ******* dead.

So then, what else do we have?
Music, art, and love, you say?
Can you really say
that that’s enough to make our sanity stay at bay?

I don't give a f_.
It's all temporary, it doesn't matter your luck.
Stop being so stuck,
in your ****** to end, circle of love.

Cause we're the delusioned victim cash-in union,
Praise to the "love" that will bring salvation!
Two fools, singing to a shallow melody.
Haven’t you ever wished to leave this world behind, and enter a fairy tail of your own, or one you’ve seen?
wordvango Jan 2021
Snake in my head my brain twists round a flick
Attacking front and back delusioned took in sheep
Fearing wolves teeth accepting
Eyes of a dandelion for
Sharks teeth describing insanity
Amid humanity and toiling still
Maskless rabid tongue savages
Mangling the sabbath
Crosses slung as martyrs in devils disguise a rabbit
Looks up surprise
A crowd of proposed Jesuit boards
Who's knives hidden
In lying tongues
Stab out all the sudden
Taking ***** and Gomorrah
Wrath and horror in God's name
Came dressed as saviors a blithe name and a traitor so slay him make this day done take no prisoners it needs
Done
Mel May 2022
For most of my adult life thus far, I have pictured myself as someone strong, independent and devoid of fear. I never wanted, and still don’t want anyone to do me any favours, to treat me like I am someone in need of help and I certainly never wanted anybody to do so something for me. In short, I never wanted to owe anybody.

I imagine the construction that I have been hiding the truth behind to look like a rollercoaster structure. Elaborate, winding and twisting, thick metal. Those tracks of lies, the illusions I have been building and building into an elaborate structure that obstructs the view to the deeply hidden truth, they are slowly starting to show wear and tear. In reality, I am not the strongest person. I am not weak, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t have made it this far without being strong. But I have been lying to myself.

Ever since, I can remember, my sister and my mother have called me sensitive. Sometimes, it was a mean spirited accusation, thrown at me in a vulnerable moment. But most of the time, they where simple observations.
I used to not take those words lightly. I internalised all of the things the people around me used to say about my mental strength and I would carry them in my heart, believe them, and eventually contort them in a way that made them out to be an abomination, a shameful weakness to be rectified. I let my twisted perception of what the word 'sensitive' symbolises lead me into believing that it was a flaw that needed to be hidden like an ugly wound, covered by layers and layers of lies.

Strength, however is not so easily gained. It takes time, openness, honesty and at the end of the day, acceptance, to be truly strong and independent. I might think myself to have mastered all of these things, and truth be told, I am very good at pretending like I have, but I know deep down that I haven’t. I just tell myself that I have.  

Instead, I decided to ignore the dark pictures behind my elaborate construction. It isn’t incredibly difficult or exhausting to ignore, to feign innocence. In fact, it’s way too easy.
I won’t lie to you,  I have lied a little there, it is exhausting to pretend. Especially, when you get disappointed so badly that the sadness swallows you whole. The sadness is drowning, because I know that I can’t show it, I can’t seem affected. I would be calling my own bluff that way, which is a humiliation I would rather not bear.

So what is the problem?
Loneliness. Every day, on my way out of the house I walk by my old neighbour. He sits in that living room, day in and day out. Staring either at his wall or out the window. In the 8 months that I have lived there, I have not seen anybody visiting him. Nobody checks up on him. None of the neighbours stop by to chat. And he is bitter for it. He may not realise it himself, having delusioned himself into thinking that everybody around him is the problem, but he is filled with the deepest sadness that I could imagine anybody to be filled with. Grief is nothing compared to it. Grief shows us that we can love so deeply that we will never forget that love. It is a beautiful thing. But loneliness is the single most darkest feeling that I can think of.

I see myself in that old, wrinkled man who always seems to be scowling. I see my present, but even more horrifyingly, I see my future. What if I will never learn to tear down my web of iron? What if I will never find a way to confront the dark images that hide behind it? There are times where I don't want to do that anyways. After all, I seem to be a functioning human being, capable of living in society.
Other times, times that occur rarer and rarer, I ask myself for how long I will keep up with this. I ask myself if I have reached a breaking point where I want the images to take over my speech and reveal themselves to the world.
I guess, what I am saying is that I am waiting. I am waiting for the moment where I will either have to speak up, or stay silent forever.
Lexie Jun 2021
You told me once
Of when you prayed for bread
Acid rain came down that day
I then learned of reality

If I go into the woods tonight
Will I smell another mans smoke
Or am I so greatly delusioned
To truly believe I am alone

These monsters come and go
My chest a revolving door
A heart hotel
A coffin of nightmares

Angels speak, I do not listen
Prayers quiver in the morning air
I am not there
Not patient enough to wait

Scars on my back spread
Along my limbs
Vines growing on a brick wall
Neither of us will ever find heaven

I never shut up about the moon
She's always there
How I do love her company
When I'm making myself out to be lonely

Is it wrong to assume
Stars are another worlds
Parking lot lights
I don't have all the answers

I find no humor
In the irony of doing what's right
As we go along
I find I was betraying my future

When will I learn
Trying to love this way
Is like trying to dance
With a broken leg

Even after I pass
I will not of told
All the stories in me
They are in bones

I call you foolish mortals
Take it as praise
I will not even name my self
There is great folly in wisdom

If only happiness
Was as aggressive
As the pain
I hold space for

Bury me shallow
In the autumn floor
I hold myself no greater
That the earth

I cry out under the heavens
The veil is thinning
How do you deny
The pulse of the spirit world

Know me now
But not my name
She is the secret whisper
In the thickest of your veins

Maybe once we would have lived
Thriving on the chaos
Hand fed to us by the universe
We were foolish then

Someday wisdom will come to us
We will not know her face
Fair chance she is already among us
Thinly veiled

Do you remember
The first time you smoked
The way it stopped in your throat
How it brought your stomach up

Know when I think of you
It is the same for me
You are a bitter tar taste
I light you up again

Only to spit you out
You coat my tongue
The inside of my cheeks
With your black smoke veil

I asked for depth
You delivered
I cannot back out now
There is no where but up

Those in the dark
Beg for light
Those in the shadow
Wish to stay hidden

I am the ***** sinner
In the bathroom
Trying to scrub myself clean
Of smoke and saints

I was warned
The path of the traveler
For those with thick soles and thicker skin
Thick souls and thinner whims

I set out like a dead man on a quest
Like a fool
With my best foot forward
Not knowing which was is South

You prayed me greener pastures
I just prayed for you
Here we are
Hollow promises, hearty prayers

We ache for what we had
Knowing fruit in the sun
To quickly turns bad
Sour sugar in the soil
Patrick Harrison May 2020
I go on walks, not for myself but in spite of others.
I lay in the basement for hours, reading and lifting not for myself,
but for the fame that I am delusioned by.
I go on walks,
I lay in the basement for hours.

I would never hit a woman, but I'll surely creep one or a few out.
I would never ****-
I would never hit a woman.
I would never **** anything other than myself.

Tis the one act I shall do for myself, and in death let it be known
the birds and flowers that blossom in Spring are Christopher Marlowe, and I am Shakespeare.

— The End —