"convience" poems
I don't deserve the sun
I don't deserve the sea
I don't deserve feet to run
Or eyes so I can see
I don't deserve a home
I don't deserve a friend
I don't deserve to roam
Or with others to blend
But I know you don't agree
You think I deserve more
But truly you deserve better than me
You're not something you buy at the convience store
But I don't deserve you
I don't deserve how much you care
I don't deserve anything you do
And hurt me? You wouldn't dare
When I deserve the rain
And every dark cloud in the sky
You take away my pain
And make the clouds say goodbye
I know I can't provide you
With everything you need
But there is one thing I can do
Is give you this poem to read
To tell you how much I love you
And I care so much for you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To make sure I keep you
Because if we are honest
I don't deserve you
But I'll try my best
To make this good for you
Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014 at 5:07 PM UTC
I counted the ambulances as they glided swiftly by
screeching painful pitches at the cars who were now anxiously parting the pavement sea for the savior's convience or just because they have people that they love & the possibility of a home hitting tragedy shocks their entire bodies.
I sat all pensive and overwhelmed once I got to number ten, recalling all of the times the bad news was delivered nervously to me by a man in a truck lugging red sirens just like the ones flashing before me. That desperate ring, too identifiable to us all creates an eerie silence like a funeral song. Not because of the way it cuts the airwaves but because of the memories it instantly plays back to us.
We all know why an ambulance comes & none of us want to be the one curled up in bed a week from today, crying at the light as it pours through the shutters, sick from a void that aches with every move.
Everyone is reaching for their cellphone.
"Please I need to hear your voice. Tell me
you're okay" & then you see the panicked
lady in the lane beside you who
was directed to voicemail.
I'm so sorry
Jul 11, 2013
Jul 11, 2013 at 1:54 PM UTC
I give my all in all I do
Tired of being judged I take care of myself
Give my even if others don't think its enough
Over the big middle finger in the face
I'm respect even though others do me wrong
Be my friend when I need you not at your convience
Over all ppl opposing I bust my *** for respect earning my place showing I belong
Sick of others failed relationships being a fear
I won't commit unless its worth my time
Over hearing problems that continue to worse when solutions have been provided
I've accepted certain ppl won't accept me or see me the same
I prefer to be more overless working hard for progress
The results will come out of the process
I've made changes and sacriced over all the selfish ppl
Making me a target because they are a routine
I'm not giving up or letting up back to the basics
Sep 15, 2013
Sep 15, 2013 at 6:30 AM UTC
And you wonder why blood was spilt
And about the wars that have killed
There's things in life you can't accept
You would fight till you die
Than stand a day in its mess
And you wonder why blood was spilt
And about the wars that have killed
Freedom has a high price
And it's not given
It's taken by the oppressed
And you dont have to look far
At the world's most horrific tragedies
Look at your own anxieties
When you act like your living
But every vain in your body
Is shivering.
Cause you're supressed by capitalism
Working day and night
And your opinion is not for the giving.
Nor are you allowed to be sad
Nor are you allowed to be mad
This is how life is, they tell you
This is how life is, they convience you
Don't be a woss
They tell you
Be strong by following me
While I follow what they want me to be
And they follow what they were taught to be
By people who followed their own misery
Thinking this is how life should be
You don't wonder anymore
When you have tasted it
The depression the pain and the downgradment
It drives you insane
You don't wonder
Why the blood was spilt
And about the wars that have killed
Cause freedom has a high price
And it's not given
Its demanded by the oppressed
So, are you up for the battle
Or your ganna shut up, and cry every night?
Down your pills ?
Roll a blunt ?
Down that drink ?
Then go numb ?
And go with the cattle ?
Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 4:22 PM UTC
Alone
Always alone
Please
Somebody
Find me
A home
I want to belong
to someone
other than myself
to be the lover
of another
and be loved in return
I am tired
of abandonment issues
the exit wounds
being torn through
left bereft
with holes
and scars
shallow breaths
and worn out beats
a broken heart
For once
I just want to be held
and not put down
not let go
but treasured
kept
swept
off my feet
cherished
All my friends
seem to have come and gone
I feel so alone
Lonely
Always second
a hand-me down
Never first
an afterthought
sought after
only out of convience
It hurts
worse each time
I break open
to let someone in
only to be shut out
by them in the end
Again and again
the third wheel
spinning tirelessly
circling the drain
swallowing pain
When will they notice
that I am shambles
bleeding from the inside out
internal wounds
Hemorrhaging
from all the cuts
the back stabbing
Is it really that hard
to love me
to see me
accept me
for who I am?
I know Im quiet (introverted)
and awkward at times
high on anxiety
lowered to depression
but funny too
sweet and kind
intelligent mind
heart more courageous than a lion
loving fiercely mankind
Yet everyone leaves me
in the back of the car
like a crying baby
forgotten in her booster seat
in Summer heat
dying from neglect
Alone
Always alone
Please
Somebody
find me
A home
I want to belong
to someone
other than myself
to be the lover
of another
and be loved in return
One day
I wont have to try
so hard to be relevant
cared for/about
by the very people
I've come to adore
beg for attention and time
In time
I will find my tribe
kick off my shoes and relax in my socks
by the fire place of warmth
my soul embraced and loved
No longer the one calling out
to hear only a dial tone
or answering machine
receive no response
No longer will I walk
as the wind
nor be the waning moon
an empty shadow
silent company
of leaves and trees
hollow
A bystander
A dead end
or one way street
the ghost unseen
someone who no longer exists
in their world
One day
Ill finally find myself
at home
right where I belong
Jan 1, 2017
Jan 1, 2017 at 6:06 AM UTC
“Everybody dies,
but not everybody lives.”
But how do you tell if,
you’re living or not?
Everyone knows how,
being happy feels.
But how do you know,
If that feeling’s real?
In a moment of perfection how will you react upon realizing that,
euphoric sensation of nirvana....
Was nothing more than,
bliss by convience?
The mind will probably go numb,
most likely go cold inside and wonder;
Death,
could this be how death feels?
What a terrifying feeling to have been so confident,
the storm was over.
So confident the sun was peaking through the clouds,
swore to have even felt it’s warmth.
Oh the eye;
my hope died in the eye of the storm.
I died in the eye of the storm,
but was I even alive?
Resurrection I found in her eyes,
what a time to be alive.
What A euphoria for had I not first died,
today I would not be so alive.
"Everybody dies but,
not everybody lives."
Not everybody lives because,
not everybody dies twice.
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 8:57 PM UTC
I will never be able to get the feeling of your hands running up and down my body.
It's funny, after a year of this you're starting to text me to **** but when we're in bed nothing is quiet enough.
I don't think you're ashamed, but I know you like me best when you're out of your mind.
I don't care, and I probably never will. I enjoy being with you, but I don't have to be ****** up to want you. I'm not asking for love.
I just want you to have some sort of attraction to me. Show me something besides apathy or drunk and high you wanting to ****
I like you for more than our *** You make me laugh and you can be sweet if you want.
I can't get the sight of you looking at me when I wake up. Your eyes are always so bright. I just want to lean in and kiss you, to kiss your scruffy face.
I'm still here as the convience **** I know I am, and I know it won't last that much longer. Doesn't mean I can stop thinking about you anyway.
Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015 at 1:58 PM UTC
what am i to you
a play toy
you can come home to everyday
here for your convience
or
a being you see
soul deep
beyond the beauty and brokenness
here to be a partner for life
what am i to you
Feb 15, 2020
Feb 15, 2020 at 11:34 AM UTC
Letting go of you was difficult
A little time passed
And I felt I was freed from
The chained that tied my heart to yours
Wrong wrong wrong
Time has not been able to do the trick
Neither have. I been able to free my heart
From this ******* of love
Where do I go?
How do I solve this hurting problem
How do I convience my heart that
Its really over?
Help!!!
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014 at 5:11 PM UTC