I bowled three games tonight.
Possible paths to victory skipped rocks in my mind,
Until the ball dropped.
I won and lost.
My face flushed.
My skills wavered,
Such a tragic player.
A strike, a ball doomed to the gutter.
What did it matter?
When the lanes burst with laughter?
Friends, arcades, night bowling.
Strange shoes and watching feet behind the line.
No passing it, no crime.
All win in the end.
Bowling alleys- hidden gems.
what will it take? 20 years of outright lies
and denied mistakes?
watching you escape on a plane set a thousand miles away
or at home screaming in pain
we're both here, both alone
both sorry, both stubborn
overcome with disappointment
and it'll kill us, we'll die here, we're done
Roll the ball down the lane
Hit a pin or two
Shoes for rent
Scores are kept
Roll a spare
Three holes feel with fingers
Sometimes a gutter ball
Keep trying for a strike
Get your roll down till it feels right
Play all your frame
Love it so much keep playing the game
Play in teams or do it alone
The scores at the end says it all
Stepping in and smelling fresh diarrhea and cigarettes
Slide your fingers into the heels of over worn shoes
Then your feet- someone has been here before, hundreds of people have
sit in the solid plastic swivel
step up to the dead rack and pick up a germ infested, god-forsaken ball
bowl terribly and pull your glute
It was night
There were no clouds in the sky,
Just stars in the black sea.
Noise spilled through the doors of the bar.
Outside the Brass Rail people with alcohol in their system
And the ganja in their lungs crowd the 49 highway.
In the middle of the road,
Where the white and yellow lines run parallel,
A wild smiling girl sets the triangle of bowling pins.
A ways down the highway line, a smiling man with blond dreadlocks
Swings his arms back and forth, ready to threw the ball.
The wild girl moves, the man throws his ball, the crowd cheers, trucks honk,
And the pins are hit!
Everyone jumps in the air, everyone claps and whistles,
And the game starts over again.
Bowling on highway 49 in North San Juan, California.
These wild free spirits are my friends.
I’ll take it as a lesson
Not to play games,
Cuz this shit’s got me guessin
Whether I am or not sane,
Or whether this mess is
Because of my brain
Or because those
Doing the messing
Aren’t true to their names,
Or maybe they are,
Fuck it, either way
I go to the bar
To slam scotch in my veins
And watch as the cars
Circle in the drain.
These people believe they’re driving forward
But they’re going in circles,
I often think back to the times before school
Times when I was 3
When my mother would stand in the rain with my big brother
Rain boots and umbrellas keeping them dry
I remember getting scared of the thunder and I'd wake up in a panic, because she wasn't next to me.
She always came back inside,
Tossed a movie into the VCR
And stroked my hair
Promising me it was just God bowling
Celebrating the new angels he's welcomed home
She always mentioned that he was sorry for being so loud, but couldn't contain his excitement.
Now I'm almost finished with school
And it's never phased me, when I dont wake up to her
I don't wake up to her at all
And I dont think much of the thunderstorms anymore
Its just rain
And I just feel empty and anxious
Petrichor always arrives at my door step
Welcome home petrichor...
Maybe I'll throw a bowling party for you since my mother won't return...
How many windmills did you tilt at today
how often did you say that there's no
time left to play,
and what did the child that you are
think of that?
When the last of your life flashes in
the lens of your eyes and there really is no time left,
it'll be a surprise when you run through the images and see what you missed as you dashed off to work on the importance of you,
and you'll realise that it's not only in dreams that the windmills come true.
Being old's like being young
you have to listen to others and the fun in you's smothered by that motherly type of concern.
I fought with the wind and the mills in between and in the miles of the oceans I sunk in the green of the sea grass that grew when I was young and new and knew nothing in the every all of who that I was.
I tilt because that's who I am the boy that was trapped in the passing of man and the man that is passing some time 'til the next time and then, to tilt again
and the boy
I finally stopped playing the role of Kingpin when i jumped out of the bowling alley
Saying hi to all the Sallys
Because they all think i'm pretty nice
Yeah i'm alright
I'm just trying to make this life right
Keeping my moral rope tight
So i don't get too loose
On the grip
Many people let it go a few times in their life
I'm trying to make sure i don't
I jumped so far
Knowing I would hit the pavement
I swam out to sea
Knowing I would drown in misery
I leapt into space and time
Knowing there is no air, I will suffocate
I believed false promises
Ones so easily refuted, forgotten
Love shut off just like that, how quaint
Like a game of bowling
I am the pins
I set myself up to be knocked down
But I never thought you would throw the ball
Or actually I did but I soaked in denial
Ball came rolling fast, unstoppable, fierce
So yes I shattered into the pavement
I felt water fill my lungs as my vision darkened
I suffocated in the vacuum of space, surrounded by darkening stars
I set myself up to be destroyed
If I put the pieces back together perhaps I may learn
That words mean so little these days
My mind is logical
I now follow it to the end