I.

One night at the Troubadour I spotted this extraordinary girl.

So I asked who she was.

‘A professional,’

That was my introduction that on a scale of one to ten

there were women who were fifteens—beautiful, bright, witty, and

oh, by the way, they worked.

Once I became aware,

I saw these women everywhere.

And I came to learn that most of them were connected to Alex



II.

She had a printer engrave a calling card

that featured a bird of paradise

borrowed from a Tiffany silver pattern

and,
under it,

Alex’s Aviary,

Beautiful and Exotic birds.



A few were women you’d see lunching at Le Dôme:

pampered arm pieces with expensive tastes

and a hint of a delicious but remote sexuality.

Many more were fresh-faced, athletic, tanned, freckled

the quintessential California girl

That you’d take for sorority queens or future BMW owners.





III.

The mechanism of Alex’s sudden notoriety is byzantine,

as these things always are.

One of her girls took up with a rotter,

the couple had a fight,

he went to the police,

the police had an undercover detective visit

(who just happened to be an attractive woman)

and ask to work for her,

she all but embraced her

—and by April of 1988 the district attorney had enough evidence

to charge her with two counts of pandering

and one of pimping.

For Alex, who is fifty-six

and has a heart condition and diabetes,

the stakes may be high.

A conviction carries the guarantee of incarceration.

For the forces of law and order,

the stakes may be higher.

Alex has let it be known that she will subpoena

every cop she’s ever met to testify at her trial.

And the revelations this might produce

—perhaps that Alex compromised policemen

by making girls available to them,

—perhaps that Alex had a deal with the police to provide information

in exchange for their blind eye to her activities

—could be hugely embarrassing to the police and the district attorney.

For Alex’s socially correct clients and friends,

for the socially correct wives of her clients and friends

and for a handful of movie and television executives

who have no idea they are dating or

married to former Alex girls,

the stakes are highest of all.



IV.

Alex’s black book is said to be a catalogue of
Le Tout Los Angeles.

In her head are the ****** secrets

of many of the city’s most important men,

to say nothing of visiting businessmen and Arab princes.

If she decides to warble,

either at her trial or in a book,

her song will shatter more than glass.





V.

A decade ago, I went to lunch at Ma Maison,

There were supposed to have been ten people there,

but only four came.

One of them was a short woman

who called me a few days later and invited me to lunch.

When I arrived, the table was set for two.

I didn’t know who Alex was or what she did,

but she knew the important facts of my situation:

I was getting divorced from a very wealthy man

and doing the legal work myself

to avail lawyers who wanted to get a big settlement for me.


Occasionally, she said, I get a call for a tall, dark-haired,

slender, flat-chested woman

—and I don’t have any.

It wouldn’t be a frequent thing.

There’d be weekends away, sometimes in Palm Springs,

sometimes in Europe.

The men will be elegant,

you’ll have your own room

—there would be no outward signs of impropriety.

And you’d get $10,000 to $20,000 for a weekend.





VI.

The tall, slender, flat-chested brunette

didn’t think it was right for her.

Alex handed her a business card

and suggested that she think about it.

To her surprise, she did

—for an entire week.

This was 1978, and $20,000 then

was like $40,000 now,

I knew it was hooking,

but Alex had never mentioned ***.



Our whole conversation seemed to be about something else.



VII.

I was born in Manila

to a Spanish-Filipina mother and German father,

and when I was twelve

a Japanese soldier came into our house

with his bayonet pointed at us,

ready to do us in.

He locked us in and set the house on fire.

I haven’t been scared by much since that.



My mother always struck me as goofy,

so I jumped on a bus and ran away,

I got off in Oakland,

saw a help-wanted sign on a parish house,

and went in.

I got $200 a month for taking care of four priests.

I spent all the money on pastries for the parish house.

But I didn’t care.

It felt safe.

And the priests sparked my interest in the domestic arts

—in linen, in crystal.



A new priest arrived.

He was unpleasant,

so on a vacation in Los Angeles I took a pedestrian job,

still a teenager,

married a scientist.

We separated eight years later,

he took our two sons to another state

threatened to keep them if I didn’t agree to a divorce.

Keep them I said and hung up.

It’s not that I don’t have a maternal instinct

—though I don’t,

I just hate to be manipulated.



My second husband,

an alcoholic,

had Frank Sinatra blue eyes, and possibly

—I never knew for sure—

had a big career in the underworld

as a contract killer.

Years before we got serious,

he was going out with a famous L.A. ******,

She and her friends were so elegant

that I started spending time with them in beauty salons.

They were so fancy,

so smart

—and they knew incredible people,

like the millionaire who sat in his suite all day

just writing $5,000 checks to girls.



VIII.

I was a florist.

We got to talking.

She was a madam from England

who wanted to sell her book and go home.

I bought it for $5,000.

My husband thought it was cute.

Now you’re getting your feet wet.

Three months later,

he died.

After eleven years of marriage,

just like that.

And of the names in the book

it turned out

that half of the men were also dead.

When I began the men were old and the women were ugly.



IX.

It was like a lunch party you or I would give,

Great food Alex had cooked herself.

Major giggles with old pals.

And then,

instead of chocolate After Eight,

she served three women After Three



This man has seen a bit of life

beyond Los Angeles,

so I asked him how Alex’s stable

compared with that of Madam Claude,

the legendary Parisian procuress.

Oh, these aren’t at all like Claude’s girls,

A Claude girl was perfectly dressed and multilingual

—you could take her to the opera

and she’d understand it.





He told me that when she was 40

she looked at herself in the mirror

and said

Disgusting.

People over 40

should not have ***.

But She Was Clear That She Never Liked It

even when she was young.

Besides, she saw all the street business

go to the tall,

beautiful girls.

She thought that she never had a chance

competing against them.

Instead,

she would take their money by managing them.





X.

Going to a ****** was not looked down upon then.

It was before the pill;

Girls weren’t giving it away.

Claude specialized in

failed models and actresses,

ones who just missed the cut.

But just because they failed

in those impossible professions

didn’t mean they weren’t beautiful,

fabulous.



Like Avis

in those days,

those girls tried harder.

Her place was off the Champs,

just above a branch of the Rothschild bank, where I had an account.

Once I met her,

I was constantly making withdrawals and heading upstairs.





XI.

We took the lift

and Claude greeted us at the door.

My impression was that of the director

of an haute couture house,

very subdued,

beige and gray, very little makeup.

She took us into a lounge and made us drinks,

Whiskey,

Cognac.

There was no maid.

We made small talk for 15 minutes.

How was the weekend?

What’s the weather like in Deauville?

Then she made the segue. ‘I understand you’d like to see some jeunes filles?’

She always used ‘jeunes filles.’

This was Claude’s polite way of saying 18 to 25.

She left and soon returned

with two very tall

jeunes filles,

One was blonde.

This is Eva from Austria.

She’s here studying painting.

And a brunette,

very different,

but also very fine.

This is Claudia from Germany.

She’s a dancer.

She took the girls back into the apartment and returned by herself.

I gave my English guest first choice.

He picked the blonde.

And wasn’t disappointed.

Each bedroom had its own bidet.

There was some nice

polite conversation, and then



It was slightly formal,

but it was high-quality.

He paid Claude

200 francs,

not to the girls

In 1965, 200 francs was about $40.

Pretty girls on Rue Saint-Denis

could be had for 40 francs

so you can see the premium.

Still, it wasn’t out of reach for mere mortals.

You didn’t have to be J. Paul Getty.





XII.

A lot of them

were models at

Christian Dior

or other couture houses.

She liked Scandinavians.

That was the look then

—cold, tall, perfect.

It was cheap for the quality.

They all used her.

The best people wanted

the best women.

Elementary supply and demand.



XIII.

She had a camp number tattooed on her wrist. I saw it.

She showed it to me and Rubi.

She was proud she had survived.

We talked about the camp for hours.

It was even more fascinating than the girls.



She was Jewish

I’m certain of that.

She was horrified at the Jewish collaborators

at the camp who herded

their fellow Jews

into the gas chambers.

That was the greatest betrayal in her life.



XIV.

She was this sad,

lonely little woman.

Later, Patrick told me who she was.

I was bowled over.

It was like meeting Al Capone.

I met two of the girls

who worked for her.

One was what you would expect

Tall

Blonde

Model.

But the other looked like a Rat

Then one night

she came out

all dressed up,

I didn’t even recognize her.

She was even better than the first girl.

Claude liked to transform women like that.

That was her art.

It was very odd,

my cousin told me.

There was not much furniture

and an awful lot of telephones.

“Allô oui,”



XV.

I had so many lunches

with Claude at Ma Maison

She was vicious.

One day,

Margaux Hemingway,

at the height of her beauty, walked by.

Une bonne

—the French for maid

was how Claude cut her dead.

She reduced

the entire world

to rich men wanting *** and

poor women wanting money.

She’d love to page through Vogue and see someone

and say,

When I met her

she was called

Marlene

and she had a hideous nose

and now she’s a princess.

Or she’d see someone and say

Let’s see if she kisses me or not.

It was like

I made her,

and I can destroy her.

She was obsessed

with “fixing” people

—with Saint Laurent clothes,

with Cartier watches,

with Winston jewels,

with Vuitton luggage,

with plastic surgeons.



XVI.

Her prison number was

888

which was good luck in China

but not in California.

‘Ocho ocho ocho,’ she liked to repeat

Even in jail, she was always working,

always recruiting stunning women.

She had a beautiful Mexican cellmate

and gave her Robert Evans’s number

as the first person she should call

when she was released.



XVII.

Never have *** on the first date.



XVIII.

There will always be prostitution,

The prostitution of misery.

And the prostitution of bourgeois luxury.

They will both go on forever.



“Allô oui,”



It was so exciting to hear a millionaire

or a head of state ask,

in a little boy’s voice,

for the one thing

that only you could provide

It's not how beautiful you are, it's how you relate

--it's mostly dialogue.



She was tiny, blond, perfectly coiffed and Chanel-clad.

The French Woman: The Arab Prince, the Japanese Diplomat, the Greek Tycoon, the C.I.A. Bureau Chief — She Possessed Them All!



XIX.

She was like a slave driver in the American South

Once she took a *******,

the makeover put the girl in debt,

because Claude paid all the bills to

Dior,

Vuitton,

to the hairdressers,

to the doctors,

and the girls had to work to pay them off.

It was ****** indentured servitude.



My Swans.



It reached the point

where if you walked into a room

in London

or Rome

as much as Paris

because the girls were transportable,

and saw a girl who was

better-dressed,

better-looking,

and more distinguished than the others

you presumed

it was a girl from Claude.

It was, without doubt,

the finest *** operation ever run in the history of mankind.



**.

The girl had to be

exactly what was needed

so I had to teach her everything she didn’t know.

I played a little the role of Pygmalion.

There were basic things that absolutely had to be done.

It consisted

at the start

of the physical aspect

“surgical intervention”

to give this way of being

that was different from other girls.

Often they had to be transformed

into dream creatures

because at the start

they were not at all



Often I had to teach them how to dress.

Often they needed help

to repair

what nature had given them

which was not so beautiful.

At first they had to be tall,

with pretty gestures,

good manners.

I had lots of noses done,

chins,

teeth,

*******.

There was a lot to do.



Eight times out of ten

I had to teach them how to behave in society.

There were official dinners, suppers, weekends,

and they needed to have conversation.

I insisted they learn to speak English,

read

certain books.

I interrogated them on what they read.

It wasn’t easy.

Each time something wasn’t working,

I was obliged to say so.



You were very demanding?

I was ferocious.



It’s difficult

to teach a girl how to walk into Maxim’s

without looking

ill at ease

when they’ve never been there,

to go into an airport,

to go to the Ritz,

or the Crillon

or the Dorchester.

To find yourself

in front of a king,

three princes,

four ministers,

and five ambassadors at an official dinner.

There were the wives of those people!

Day after day

one had to explain,

explain again,

start again.

It took about two years.

There would always be a man

who would then say of her,

‘But she’s absolutely exceptional. What is that girl doing here?’ ”





XXI.

A New York publisher who visited

the Palace Hotel

in Saint Moritz

in the early seventies told me,

I met a whole bunch of them there.

They were lovely.

The johns wanted everyone to know who they were.

I remember it being said

Giovanni’s Madame Claude girl is going to be there.

You asked them where they came from and they all said

Neuilly.

Claude liked girls from good families.

More to the point she had invented their backgrounds.



I have known,

because of what I did,

some exceptional and fascinating men.

I’ve known some exceptional women too,

but that was less interesting

because I made them myself.



Ah, this question of the handbag.

You would be amazed by how much dust accumulates.

Or how often women’s shoe heels are scuffed.





XXII.

She would examine their teeth and finally she would make them undress.



That was a difficult moment

When they arrived they were very shy,

a bit frightened.

At the beginning when I take a look,

it’s a question of seeing if the silhouette

and the gestures are pretty.

Then there was a disagreeable moment.

I said,

I’m sorry about this unpleasantness,

but I have to ask you to get undressed,

because I can’t talk about you unless I see you.

Believe me, I was embarrassed,

just as they were,

but it had to be done,

not out of voyeurism, not at all

—I don’t like les dames horizontales.



It was very funny

because there were always two reactions.

A young girl,

very sure of herself,

very beautiful,

très bien,

would say

Yes,

Get up, and get undressed.

There was nothing to hide, everything was perfect.



There were those who

would start timidly

to take off their dress

and I would say

I knew already.

The rest is not sadism, but nearly.

I knew what I was going to find.

I would say,

Maybe you should take off your bra,

and I knew it wasn’t going to be

beautiful.

Because otherwise she would have taken it off easily.

No problem.

There were damages that could be mended.

There were some ******* that could be redone,

some not

Sometimes it can be deceptive,

you know,

you see a pretty girl,

a pretty face,

all elegant and slim,

well dressed,

and when you see her naked

it is a catastrophe.



I could judge their physical qualities,

I could judge if she was pretty, intelligent, and cultivated,

but I didn’t know how she was in bed.

So I had some boys,

good friends,

who told me exactly.

I would ring them up and say,

There’s a new one.

And afterwards they’d ring back and say,

Not bad,

Could be better, or

Nulle.



Or,

on the contrary,

She’s perfect.

And I would sometimes have to tell the girls

what they didn’t know.

A pleasant assignment?

No.

They paid.



XXIII.

Often at the beginning

they had an ami de coeur

in other words,

oh,

a journalist, a photographer, a type like that,

someone in the cinema,

an actor, not very well known.

As time went by

It became difficult

because they didn’t have a lot of time for him.

The fact of physically changing,

becoming prettier,

changing mentally to live with millionaires,

produced a certain imbalance

between them

and the little boyfriend

who had not evolved

and had stayed in his milieu.

At the end of a certain time

she would say,

I’m so much better than him. Why am I with this boy?

And they would break up by themselves.



Remember,

this was instant elevation.

For most of them it was a dream existence,

provided they liked the ***,

and those that didn’t never lasted long.

A lot of the clients were young,

and didn’t treat them like tarts but like someone from their own class.

They would buy you presents,

take you on trips.



XXIV.

For me, *** was something very accessoire

I think after a certain age

there are certain spectacles one should not give to others

Now I have a penchant for solitude.

Love, it’s a complete destroyer,

It’s impossible,

a horror,

l’angoisse.

It’s the only time in my life I was jealous.

I’m not a jealous person, but I was épouvantable.

He was jealous too.

We broke plates over each other’s heads;

we became jealous about each other’s pasts.

I said one day

It’s finished.

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say:

Break my legs,

give me scarlet fever,

an attack of TB, but never that.

Not that.



XXV.

I called her into my office

Let us not exaggerate,

I sent her away.

She came back looking for employment,

but was fired again, this time for drugs.

She made menacing phone calls.

Then she arrived at the Rue de Boulainvilliers with a gun.

She shot three bullets

I was dressed in the fashion of Courrèges at this moment

He did very padded things.

I had a padded dress with a little jacket on top.

The bullet

—merci, Monsieur Courrèges

—stuck in the padding.

I was thrown forward onto the telephone.

I had one thought which went through my head:

I will die like Kennedy.

I turned round and put my hand up in a reflex.

The second bullet went through my hand.

I have two dead fingers.

It’s most useful for removing bottle tops.

In the corridor I was saved from the third bullet

because she was very tall

and I am quite petite, so it passed over my head.



XXVI.

There were men

who could decapitate,

****, and bomb their rivals

who would be frightened of me.

I would ask them how was the girl,

and they’d say

Not bad

and then

But I’m not complaining.

I was a little sadistic to them sometimes.

Some women have known powerful men because they’re their lover.

But I’ve known them all.

I had them all

here.



She will take many state secrets with her.



XXVI.

I don’t like ugly people

probably because when I was young

I wasn’t beautiful at all.

I was ugly and I suffered for it,

although not to the point of obsession.

Now that I’m an old woman,

I’m not so bad.

And that’s why

I’ve always been surrounded by people

Who

were

beautiful.

And the best way to have beautiful people around me

was to make them.

I made them very pretty.





XXVII.

I wouldn’t call what Alex gives you

‘advice,’

She spares you Nothing.

She makes a list of what she wants done,

and she really gets into it

I mean, she wants you to get your arms waxed.

She gives you names of people who do good facials.

She tells you what to buy at Neiman Marcus.

She’s put off by anything flashy,

and if you don’t dress conservatively, she’s got no problem telling you,

in front of an audience,

You look like a cheap *****!

I used to wear what I wanted when I went out

then change in the car into a frumpy sweater

when I went to give her the money she’d always go,

Oh, you look beautiful!



Marry your boyfriend,

It’s better than going to prison.

When you go out with her,

she’ll buy you a present; she’s incredibly generous that way.

And she’ll always tell you to save money and get out.

It’s frustrating to her when girls call at the end of the month

and say they need rent money.

She wants to see you do well.





We had a schedule, with cards that indicated a client’s name,

what he liked,

the names of the girls he’d seen,

and how long he’d been with them.

And I only hired girls who had another career

—if my clients had a choice between drop-dead-gorgeous

and beautiful-and-interesting,

they’d tend to take beautiful-and-interesting.

These men wanted to talk.

If they spent two hours with a girl,

they usually spent only five or ten minutes in bed.



I get the feeling that in Los Angeles, men are more concerned with looks.



XXVIII.

That was my big idea

Not to expand the book by aggressive marketing

but to make sure that nobody

mistook my girls for run-of-the-mill hookers.

And I kept my roster fresh.

This was not a business where you peddle your ***,

get exploited,

and then are cast off.

I screen clients. I’ve never sent girls to weirdos.

I let the men know:

no violence,

no costumes,

no fudge-packing.

And I talked to my girls. I’d tell them:

Two and a half years and you’re burned out.

Save your money.

This is like a hangar

—you come in, refuel, and take off.

It’s not a vacation, it’s not a goof.

This buys the singing lessons,

the dancing lessons,

the glossies.

This is to help you pay for what your parents couldn’t provide.

It’s an honorable way station—a lot of stars did this.



XXIX.

To say someone was a Claude girl is an honour, not a slur.



Une femme terrible.

She despised men and women alike.

Men were wallets. Women were holes.



By the 80s,

if you were a brunette,

the sky was the limit.

The Saudis

They’d call for half a dozen of Alex’s finest,

ignore them all evening while they

chatted,

ate,

and played cards,

and then, around midnight,

take the women inside for a fast few minutes of ***.



They’d order women up like pizza.



Since my second husband died,

I only met one man who was right for me,

He was a sheikh.

I visited him in Europe

twenty-eight times

in the five years I knew him

and I never slept with him.

He’d say

I think you fly all the way here just to tease me,

but he introduced me

by phone

to all his powerful friends.

When I was in Los Angeles, he called me twice a day.

That’s why I never went out

he would have been disappointed.



***.

Listen to me

This is a woman’s business.

When a woman does it, it’s fun

there’s a giggle in it

when a man’s involved,

he’s ******,

he’s a ****.

He may know how to keep girls in line,

and he may make money,

but he doesn’t know what I do.

I tell guys: You’re getting a nice girl.

She’s young,

She’s pleasant,

She can do things

she can certainly make love.

She’s not a rocket scientist, but she’s everything else.



The world’s richest and most powerful men, the announcer teased.

An income “in the millions,” said the arresting officer.

Pina Colapinto

A petite call girl,

who once slid between the sheets of royalty,

a green-eyed blonde helped the police get the indictment.

They really dolled her up

She looks great.

Never!

What I told her was: ‘Wash that ******.’





XXXI.

Madam Alex died at 7 p.m.

Saturday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center,

where she had been in intensive care after recent open heart surgery

We all held her hand when they took her off the life support

This was the passing of a legend.

Because she was the mother superior of prostitution.

She was one of the richest women on earth.

The world came to her.

She never had to leave the house.

She was like Hugh Hefner in that way.


It's like losing a friend

In all the years we played cat and mouse,

she never once tried to corrupt me.

We had a lot of fun.


To those who knew her

she was as constant

as she was colorful

always ready with a good tidbit of gossip

and a gourmet lunch for two.

She entertained, even after her conviction on pandering charges,

from the comfy depths of her blue four-poster bed at her home near Doheny Drive,

surrounded by knickknacks and meowing cats,

which she fed fresh shrimp from blue china plates.



XXXII.

She stole my business,

my books,

my girls,

my guys.

I had a good run.

My creatures.

Make Mommy happy

Oh! He is the most enchanting cat that I have ever known.



She was, how can I say it,

classy.

When she first hired me

she thought I was too young to take her case.

I was 43.

I'm going to give you some gray hairs by the time this is over.

She was right.





XXXIII.

I was fond of Heidi

But she has a streak that is so vindictive.



If there is pure evil, it is Madame Alex.





XXXIV.

I was born and raised in L.A.

My dad was a famous pediatrician.

When he died, they donated a bench to him at the Griffith Park Observatory.



I think that Heidi wanted to try her wings

pretty early,

and I think that she met some people

who sort of took all her potential

and gave it a sharp turn



She knew nothing.

She was like a little parrot who repeated what she was supposed to say.



Alex and I had a very intense relationship;

I was kind of like the daughter she loved and hated,

so she was abusive and loving at the same time.



Look, I know Madam Alex was great at what she did

but it's like this:

What took her years to build,

I built in one.

The high end is the high end,

and no one has a higher end than me.

In this business, no one steals clients.

There's just better service.



XXXV.

You were not allowed to have long hair

You were not allowed to be too pretty

You were not allowed to wear too much makeup or be too glamorous

Because someone would fall in love with you and take you away.

And then she loses the business



XXXVI.

I was pursued because

come on

in our lifetime,

we will never see another girl of my age

who lived the way I did,

who did what I did so quickly,

I made so many enemies.

Some people had been in this line of business

for their whole lives, 30 or 40 years,

and I came in and cornered the market.

Men don't like that.

Women don't like that.

No one liked it.



I had this spiritual awakening watching an Oprah Winfrey video.

I was doing this 500-hour drug class

and one day the teacher showed us this video,

called something like Make It Happen.

Usually in class I would bring a notebook

and write a letter to my brother or my journal,

but all of a sudden this grabbed my attention

and I understood everything she said.

It hit me and it changed me a lot.

It made me feel,

Accept yourself for who you are.

I saw a deeper meaning in it

but who knows, I might have just been getting my period that day!



XXXVII.

Hello, Gina!

You movie star!

Yes you are!

Gina G!

Hello my friend,

Hello my friend,

Hello my movie star,

Ruby! Ruby Boobie!

Braaawk!

Except so many women say,

Come on, Heidi

you gotta do the brothel for us; don't let us down.

It would be kind of fun opening up an exclusive resort,

and I'll make it really nice,

like the Beverly Hills Hotel

It'll feel private; you'll have your own bungalow.

The only problem out here is the climate—it's so brutal.

Charles Manson was captured a half hour from Pahrump.



I said, Joe! What are you doing?

You gotta get, like,

a garter belt and encase it in something

and write,

This belonged to Suzette Whatever,

who entertained the Flying Tigers during World War II.

Get, like, some weird tools and write,

These were the first abortion tools in the brothel,

you know what I mean?

Just make some **** up!

So I came out here to do some research

And then I realized,

What am I doing?

I'm Heidi Fleiss. I don't need anyone.

I can do this.

When I was doing my research, in three months

I saw land go from 30 thousand an acre

to 50 thousand an acre,

and then it was going for 70K!

It's urban sprawl

—we're only one hour from Las Vegas.

Out here the casinos are only going to get bigger,

prostitution is legal, it's only getting better.





XXXVIII.

The truth is

deep down inside,

I just can't do business with him

He's the type of guy who buys Cup o' Noodles soup for three cents

and makes his hookers buy it back from him for $5.

It's not my style at all.

Who wants to be 75 and facing federal charges?

It was different at my age when I

at least...come on, I lived really well.

I was 22,

25 at the time?

It was fun then, but now I wouldn't want

to deal with all that *******

—the girls and blah blah blah.

But the money was really good.



I would've told someone they were out of their ******* mind

if they'd said in five years I'd be living with all these animals like this.

It's hard-core; how I live;

It's totally a nonfunctional atmosphere for me

It's hard to get anything done because

It’s so time-consuming.

I feel like they're good luck though....

I do feel that if I ever get rid of them,

I will be jinxed and cursed the rest of my life

and nothing I do will ever work again.



Guys kind of are a hindrance to me

Certainly I have no problem getting laid or anything.

But a man is not a priority in my life.

I mean, it's crazy, but I really have fun with my parrots.



XXXIX.

I started a babysitting circle when I wasn't much older than 9

And soon all the parents in the neighborhood

wanted me to watch over their children.

Even then I had an innate business sense.

I started farming out my friends

to meet the demand.

My mother showered me with love and my father,

a pediatrician,

would ask me at the dinner table,

What did you learn today?

I ran my neighborhood.

I just pick up a hustle really easily,

I was a waitress and I met an older guy who looked like Santa Claus.



Alex was a 5' 3" bald-headed Filipina

in a transparent muu muu.

We hit it off.

I didn't know at the time that I was there to pay off the guy's gambling debt.

It's in and out,

over and out.

Do you think some big-time producer

or actor is going to go to the clubs and hustle?



Columbia Pictures executive says:

I haven’t done anything that should cause any concern.

Jeez, it's like the Nixon enemies list.

I hope I'm on it.

If I'm not, it means I must not be big enough

for people to gossip about me.



That's right ladies and gentlemen.

I am an alleged madam and that is a $25 *****!

If you live out here,

you've got to hate people.

You've got to be pretty antisocial

How you gonna come out here with only 86 people?

That's Fred.

He's digging to China.

You look good.

Yeah, you too.

It's coming along here.

Yeah, it is.

I wanted to buy that lot there, but I guess it's gone?

That's mine, man! That's all me.

Really?

I thought there was a lot between us.

No. We're neighbors.



He's a cute guy

He's entertaining.

See, I kind of did do something shady to him.

I thought my property went all the way back

and butted up against his.

But there was one lot between us right there.

He said he was buying it,

but I saw the 'For Sale' sign still up there,

So I went and called the broker and said,

I'm an all-cash buyer.

So I really bought it out from under him.

But he's got plenty of room, and I need the space for my parrots.

Pahrump will always be Pahrump, but Crystal is going to be nice

All you need are four or five fancy houses and it'll flush everyone out

and it'll be a nice area.

They're all kind of weird here, but these people will go.

Like this guy here,

someone needs to **** him.

I was just saying to my dad that these parrots are born to a really ******-up world

He goes, Heidi, no, no; the world is a beautiful garden.

It's just, people are destroying it.

I’m looking into green building options

I don't want anything polluting,

I want a huge auditorium,

but it'll be like a jungle where my birds can really fly!

Where they can really do what they're supposed to do.

There were over 300 birds in there!

That lady,

She ran the exotic-birds department for the Tropicana Hotel,

which is a huge job.

She called me once at 3:30 in the morning

Come over here and help me feed this baby!

Some baby parrot.

And I ran over there in my pajamas

—I knew there was something else wrong

and she was like

Get me my oxygen!

Get me this, get me that.

I called my dad; he was like,

I don't know, honey, you better call the paramedics.

They ended up getting a helicopter.

And they were taking her away

in the wind with her IV and blood and everything

and she goes, Heidi, you take care of my birds.

And she dies the next day.

She was just a super-duper person.



XL.

I relate to the lifestyle she had before,

Now, I'm just a citizen.

I'm clean,

I'm sober,

I'm married,

I work at Wal-Mart.

I'm proud to say I know her. I look into her eyes

and we relate.





I got out in 2000,

so I've been sending her money for seven years

She was…whatever.

Girlfriend?

Yeah, maybe.

But ***, I tried like two times,

and I'm just not gay.

She gets out in about eight or nine months

and I told her I would get her a house.

But nowhere near me.

I didn't touch her,

but I'd be, like...

a funny story:

I told her,

Don't you ever ******* think

about contacting me in the real world.

I'm not a lesbian.

Then about two years ago, I got an e-mail from her,

or she called me and said, 'Google my name.'

So I Googled her name,

and she has this huge company.

Huge!

She won, like, Woman of the Year awards.

So I called her and I go,

Not bad.

She goes, 'Well, I did all that because you called me a loser.'

I go, '****, I should've called you more names

you probably would've found the cure for cancer by now.



XLI.

No person shall be employed by the licensee

who has ever been convicted of

a felony involving moral turpitude

But I qualify,

I mean, big deal, so I'm a convicted felon.

Being in the *** industry, you can't be so squeaky-clean.

You've got to be hustling.

Nighttime is really enchanting here

It's like a whole 'nother world out here, it really is

I’m so far removed from my social life and old surroundings.

Who was it, Oscar Wilde, I think, who said

people can adjust to anything.

I was perfectly adjusted in the penitentiary,

and I was perfectly adjusted to living in a château in France.



We had done those drug addiction shows together

Dr. Drew.

Afterward we were friendly

and he'd call me every now and then.

He'd act like he had his stuff together.

But it was all a lie.

Everything is a lie.

I brought him to a Humane Society event at Paramount Studios last year.

He was just such a mess.

So out of it.

He stole money from my purse.

He's such a drug addict because he's so afraid of being fat.

He liked horse ****, though. He did like horse ****.

This one woman that would have *** with a horse on the internet,

He told me that’s his favorite actress.

Better than Meryl Streep.



XLII.

The cops could see

why these women were taking over trade.

Girls with these looks charged upwards of $500 an hour.

The Russians had undercut them with a bargain rate of $150 an hour.

One thing they are not is lazy.

In the USSR

they grew up with no religion, no morality.

Prostitution is not considered a bad thing.

In fact, it’s considered a great way to make money.

That’s why it’s exploding here.

What we saw was just a tip of the iceberg.

These girls didn’t come over here expecting to be nannies.

They knew exactly what they wanted and what they were getting into.

The madam who organized this raid

was making $4 million a year,

laundered through Russian-owned banks in New York City

These are brutal people.

They are all backstabbers.

They’re entrepreneurs.

They’re looking at $10,000 a month for turning tricks.

For them, that’s the American dream.



XLIII.

If you’re not into something,

don’t be into it

But,

if you want to take some whipped cream,

put it between your toes,

have your dog licking it up and,

at the same time,

have your girlfriend poke you in the eye,

then that’s fine.

That’s a little weird but we shouldn’t judge.



She was my best friend then

and I consider her one of my best friends now,

because when I was going through Riker’s

and everyone abandoned me,

including my boyfriend,

I was hysterical,

crying,

and she was the one that was there.

And, when somebody needed to step up to the plate,

that’s who did, and I have an immense amount of

loyalty, respect, and love for her.

And if she’s going to prison for eight years

—that’s what she’s sentenced for

—I’ll go there,

and I’ll go there every week,

for eight years.

That’s the type of person I am.

On Death’s domain intent I fix my eyes,
Where human nature in vast ruin lies:
With pensive mind I search the drear abode,
Where the great conqu’ror has his spoils bestow’d;
There there the offspring of six thousand years
In endless numbers to my view appears:
Whole kingdoms in his gloomy den are ******,
And nations mix with their primeval dust:
Insatiate still he gluts the ample tomb;
His is the present, his the age to come.
See here a brother, here a sister spread,
And a sweet daughter mingled with the dead.
  But, Madam, let your grief be laid aside,
And let the fountain of your tears be dry’d,
In vain they flow to wet the dusty plain,
Your sighs are wafted to the skies in vain,
Your pains they witness, but they can no more,
While Death reigns tyrant o’er this mortal shore.
  The glowing stars and silver queen of light
At last must perish in the gloom of night:
Resign thy friends to that Almighty hand,
Which gave them life, and bow to his command;
Thine Avis give without a murm’ring heart,
Though half thy soul be fated to depart.
To shining guards consign thine infant care
To waft triumphant through the seas of air:
Her soul enlarg’d to heav’nly pleasure springs,
She feeds on truth and uncreated things.
Methinks I hear her in the realms above,
And leaning forward with a filial love,
Invite you there to share immortal bliss
Unknown, untasted in a state like this.
With tow’ring hopes, and growing grace arise,
And seek beatitude beyond the skies.

this is truly a welcome break from:
freeing all the drafts -
which i imagined to be equivalent, or rather:
the 2nd parallel of the original adjecent -

i imagined it would feel like:
releasing doves with laurel branches firmly
lodged in their beaks -
just as the waters of the flood would recede...

but it truly felt like:
the inversion of the diarrhoea-constipation
"paradox"... because it felt like both,
but never giving me a clue as to
what was more prominent -

the sharp edge of a knife -
or the horizon when the sky becomes
the sea far away....

i'm not ashamed to throw this onto the fore...
it happened to me once...
but on purpose...
i wanted to compensate marquis de sade's
antic in a brothel when he implored
the ******* to turn the crucifix into
a ***** into his decapitated precursor
of a mary antoinette... puppet...

profanity in images and all the other seances
of the senses...
i wouldn't go as far as to make the crucifix
profane... or do anything profane
with it...

only the words...
hic (est) mea corpus - hic (est) mea cruor...
this is my body - this is my blood...
and i am aware the mead is the gods' ****
when they're in a good mood - all... jolly...
and that beer is the gods' **** when
laughter hits a dry run...
and that ms. amber or whiskey is but:
the blood of the gods...

i had to corrupt it...
to prove to myself: that i am not a god...
it was quiet simple...
once upon a time i was drinking
a glass of wine...
and as you do... on a whim...
i decided to **** into it...
perhaps all that drinking prior would
give me something to elevate the palette
of exploration that was to come...

hmm... at least that sorts out
hic: mea cruor... *** urinae...
but back then i did that on purpose...
and if only this was a desert scenario...
and i would have to drink my own *****
to survive...
well... i just thought: here's to starving
from a lack of better imagery...

i will come unto some Horace in a minute...
i don't know how i managed to find
this citation - it's only very losely related...
and yes i will showcase another draft from
May of last year...

but today i was unsure...
did i leave yesterday's pepsi max bottle
with only the stale pepsi left...
or did i forget to do the lazy sly wee whizz
jumping out of bed in the middle of
the night...
but i already poured this "cocktail"
over two shots of whiskey...
and i'm hardly desperate but...
my original intention of alligning myself
to the profanity of the crucifix...
i had to somehow make profanity
of the wine...

since i am... thinking how to compensate
being satisfied with wine...
how the ancient world was always
satisfied with wine...
the story of the 3 ambers of the north...
the beer, the mead and the whiskey...
all in a varying degree...
but i will not bow before the blood of a god
that's so... diluted...
whiskey yes... that can be blood indeed...
otherwise it's down in the trench
with gods' **** - mead if they are in a good
mood... beer if they are in a talkative mood...

thank god i wasn't thinking:
better salvage those two shots of whiskey
and drink this cocktail of the "ultimate" surprise...
and apparently eating a woman's
placenta is good for you...
as was... apparently once... breastmilk...
funny... give me the milk of a cow or a goat
and i'll show you: one dislocated thumb...
one dislocated distal + intermediate phalange
from the index finger of the right hand's
proximal phalange... no broken bones...

knock-knock... who's there? touchwood superstition.

it's not as bad as it sounds...
stale, yes...
but i am also known for sometimes
performing the antithesis of drinking tequilla...
*****... i'll sprinkle some cigarette ash
onto my hand... lick it... take a shot of *****
then throw one or two black peppercorns into
my mouth for the crunch...
each drinker and his own myths... right?
i call that the black cracovite...
cracow being so close to aushwitz...
and once it snowed and they thought it was
snowing... sure... ash from the furnaces
of aushwitz... here's my ode to... the dead...
in a drink...

hell better a cracovite than a cracowite, white?
i mean: right? seriously: low hanging fruit,
the elephant's testicles...

i will never understand this whole veneration
of wine: in vino veritas...
these days wine is better drank by women
and castrated monarchs of the clergy...
i had to check... so i ****** in my holy grail...
and guess what didn't come out
the other end? gods' **** (beer and wine)
or gods' blood (whiskey and wine)...
just this stale, almost bland...
water with a pinch of grape that has been
left to sit in a puddle on some
industrial estate in dagenham enjoying
the ripe downpouring of chemicals
that leave it with a rainbow of diluted
petroleum...

akin to: try shoving that sort of doughnut
into this kind of pile of ****...
not that i would...
but i have also been prone to test
99.9% spirits... or 96% absinthe...
with a locust mummified in the bottle's neck...
from Amsterdam...

i had to rethink: why become engaged...
when chances are...
to the displeasure of someone who read:
but never bought my work...
the self-editorial process...
the self-publishing process could be...
guillotined on a whimsical constipation
of a "dear reader"...
as it might happen...

again... Horace and the perfect example
of poetry with conversational overtones...
poetry as prosaic...
my god... paper was expensive back in old
Horace's days... surely you would need
something spectacular to write:
like a psilocybin trip account word for word:
wrong!
a certain don juan said to a certain
carlos castaneda: don't bring back words from
such experiences...
but of course: they did...
upon once upon a time loving the beatniks...
i started to abhor them...
getting drunk and smoking "something"
is one thing... exposing the altars of solipsism
of such experiences: words intact...
is a profanity...
each dream is individually curated
to the dreamer... the introduction of words
to relate back... for some next be disciple...
the "drugs" / portals of escapism are already
contaminated...

why wouldn't i: even if these are only
objective recounts of an experience?
perhaps because... they are subjectivelly null...
there are only the comparable heights of Gideon...
such experiences are best: kept to each individual's
right to enjoy... a freedom of thought...
and of silence...
each keeps a secret...
but what secret is left?
when the objective parameters have already
been stated?
i see no point... better down and finding
it at the end of a bottle...
or... ******* into a glass of wine
and drinking it...

they have been contaminated by words that
have been retrieved from such experiences
that (a) no one should talk about...
(b) surprise! the objective reality already
being stated as altered...
am i going to a ******* cinema with my body...
or am i going to a surprise
gallery with my thought?
doesn't matter... word contamination...
bigmouth struck his final last time!
at least the remains is what gives me
the labyrinth... the blood the **** you name
it the three sisters amber... for all i care...
it's readily available: make do...
with what's already been given.

me? i drink for that very special date...
monday 9 march 2020...
when all the orthodox jews get drunk...
that's one of those celebrations i wouldn't mind
being a part of... purim, festival of Lots,
funny... that period of history...
the Persian aspect of the hebrews...
never made it to the big screen...
seeing modern day Iran as day-old Persia
in muslim garbs...
we're still only seeing the: African adventure...
perhaps once the dust has settled...
we will get the Persian installement...
and then... oh... **** it...
we're all in it for the long run...
then when christianity is no longer useful...
the Roman bit of history...
and how the hebrews conspired with the greeks...
2000 years later we'll probably see
some prince of egypt cartoon movie
of the pristine romance and a mention of germany...
not yet... ****'s still to ripe to entertain
the universal child and children...
no screen adaptation from "their" time in Persia...
songs... we have songs!
Verdi's Nabucco - the chorus...
perhaps only in song from Persia and always
with movies and hieroglyphs when from Egypt...

but the festivity... of course! i'll celebrate...
cf. though... Puccini's coro a bocca chiusa -
the humming chorus...
before the band enigma... i am pretty sure my mother
would crank up the volume to at least
one of these songs... should they come on the radio...
i'm still to hear christopher young's:
something to think about - to be on air...
and to also be treated as a piece of classical music...
if wojciech kilar's dracula soundtrack can be treated
as classical music... what's wrong with a little
bit of hellraiser?!

perhaps, "again" is this desecration of the sacred not,
simply hanging in the background,
all, the, ******, time?
who is to celebrate wine giving it a god's blood
status in sips? one is expected to somehow become
drunk on the passion!
no one is here for crumbs of sips!
first they came for the loaf of bread...
and said you should fast and eat only a crumb...
then they came for the bottle of wine...
and said you should abstain and drink only a sip...
then they came for *** and by then
vatican was a monaco with better tax protections...

it's an investement: having to **** into a glass
of wine you're about to drink...
worse... you accidently "forgot" about
******* into some left-over pepsi max
and you're making yourself a cocktail
with one of the graeae ambers - 2x -
and you wonder: is this the proper state
of carbonated water, stale?
but i'm hardly going to bash the crucifix...
i'm here for the words...

the... transfiguration of the wine into blood...
and i say of my gods:
and here is their **** - beer and mead...
and here's their blood: the three graeae ms. ambers...
see no: clearer? no... happier?

i will get onto ancient roman poetics
with its conversational overtones in a minute!
first we have to settle the sacraments!
the metaphors and the sacraments!
i have no ivar the boneless claim of god...
season 6? to be honest...
i'd rather watch an english soap opera...
at least the intricacy of the plot remains...
even though it has been recycled
so many times...

i can't **** out the gods' ***** even if it was
stale beer... or ideal mead...
as i can't leisure a Seneca's bath filled
with the blood of the immortals...
problem solved... "problem":
as if it ever was...

why, Horace? a very short rhetorical retort:
if Dante had his Virgil...
why can i have my Horace, as guide?
again... what Roman poet could venture for
ambitions among the myths -
or extend his "consciousness"
to devastate the land and become
the mad Xerxes wanting the waves
of a sea whipped into submission?
why, Horace? if Dante could have his Virgil...

poetry... at least among the roman poets
there's no boxed in a box "without" a "box"...
the conversational overtones are ripe...
the almost complete lack of
character dimensions... beside their dimensions
from anecdotes...

to difuse wine, to desecrate the hic mea cruor...
**** in it!
then drink it...
or have one of my antithesis of a tequilla surprise
with me...
smoke a cigarette... drop some ash on the lick-part
of the space between the thumb
and the index metacarpal... lick it...
follow it with a shot of *****...
then throw some black peppercorns
into the hades of your gob
and we've arrived at the black cracovite...

and also the day when the orthodox jews
recant their story of their time
in Persia... the festivity of Lots...
when they become blind drunk and pretend to
have the sort of alcohol intolerence as
the Japanese... 1 shot! just 1 shot:
and hey! they throw their kippahs in
the air and we can all dance the ukranian 'opak!

looks good to me!
but only looks good...
when there's this plump drunk playing the accordion:
i.e. me,
and there's the sort of adrew rieu directing
an upcoming crescendo of a poliushko polie...
and we can all leave the auditorium
feeling, less than russophobic...
and then i can be told...
you young to be old yet still
profane pan-siberian peasant root!
indo-european leftover!
well... at least then i have been allowed
the scrap i'm supposed to see
before i showcase my *****, frost riddled fangs!
of the lesser wolf that i am:
as a rabid dog!

since the crescendo will come...
what better fathom of it...
esp. just beside a cemetery... twirling to the music...
ear-plugs out seancing my time in a grand
orchestral hall... plucked from the ears...
the crescendo is coming...
but... plucked... the orchestra of buffalo-sized
snowflakes... and... the worst kind of ballet...
a male soloist... doing his crazy
ukranian folk... maestro! the music never ever
dies! even in the silence of the universe!
however micro- or macro- this theatre will take
form... the music remains playing: uninterrupted!

but the snow was there,
the "ballerina" was also there...
the night was there,
the music was there -
albeit no grand orchestral hall -
couldn't ask for a better canvas
than a cemetery -
and all the heart's content!
comparative "literature"
to love like a muslim...
or to love like a sparrow...
or to love with a grudge like a crow...
mind you; site note...
i have been many a pigeons attempt
fornication unabashed...
i've never seen two crows attempt it...
perhaps they do "it" in the night
and never in the open?

crows... pedantic priests of the kingdom...
and where the widower king
and the widow queen among the swans?
where i and you will have probably left them...
admiring a family of ducks...

as asked by the serpent of the swan...
you and me of the same birth in a Fabergé egg...
me with serpentine spine...
while you: with a crooked neck?
silly... it really is...
of a being.... that was once
a t-rex roar... now a pickled brain
in pickle jar... boasting about being...
pure spine and tingles and...
the better part of what... becomes the mammalian
hibernation...
hibernating "hibernating" upon the
impetus of digestion...
a serpent would ask a swan about
a crooked neck?

because what would a **** sapeins look toward,
as he is always prone to to look elsewhere?
if not to borrow the fixed, rigid ontology
of other animals?
i better from the birds, solely...
the swans and the crows...
perhaps the fox...
rarely something that has lent itself
to being curated by man's leash and grip...
collective the known herd...
otherwise the refined bonsai tigers...
perhaps the fish without a knowledge
of a tide or a wave...

i call a dog the noble friend,
the swan the sombre monogamist...
the crow the priest...
the furry spider one's own reflection
dealing with aracnophobia...
the snake the old "say-what?"
or that pickled spine with a brain
the worth of brine juices...
the extinguished remnant
of a dinosaur's toothache... or some
transcendental exploration
of the carpals of the wrist
extending into the length of a spine...

i'm not going to cry over this one...
skål!
i feel disinhibited from writing a memorandum!
slàinte!
gasoline to the peddle and... off... we, go!

i am bound to get this translaton right...
at some point of hinging-on... i.e. beginning with...
and most probably at the opposite end
of having to finish...
hence "open bracket"... prefix-
and -suffix allowance given the archeological
excavation began with:

-seu pila velox molliter austerum studio
fallente laborem, seu te discus agit, pete cedentem
aera disco: *** labor extuderit fastidia, siccus,
inanis sperne cibum vilem; nisi Hymettia mella
Falerno ne biberis diluta. foris est promus,
et atrum defendens piscis hiemat mare: *** sale
panis latrantem stomachum bene leniet. unde putas
aut qui partum? non in caro nidore voluptas summa,
sed in te ipso est. tu pulmentaria quaere
sudando: pinguem vitiis albumque neque ostrea
nec scarus aut poterit peregrina iuvare lagois.
vix tamen eripiam, posito pavone velis quin
hoc potius quam gallina tergere palatum,
corruptus vanis rerum, quia veneat auro
rara avis et picta pandat spectcula cauda:
tamquam ad rem attineat quidquam.
num vesceris ista, quam laudas, pluma?
cocto num adest honor idem?
carne tamen quamvis distat nil, hac magis illam
inparibus formis deceptum te petere esto:
unde datum sentis, lupus hic Tiberinus
an alto captus hiet? pontisne inter iactatus
an amnis ostia sub Tusci?
laudas, insane, trilibrem mullum,
in singula quem minuas pulmenta necesse est.
ducit te species, video: quo pertinet ergo proceros
odisse lupos? quia scilicet illis maiorem natura modum
dedit, his breve pondus: ieiunus raro stomachus volgaria
-temnit.

it's translated, isn't it? no
stefan gołębiewski or no 1980 warsaw...
is to know...

- nec meus hic sermo est, sed quae praecepit Ofellus:
these are not my words, this said the simpleton
Ofellus - neither of which of us is a laurel-leaf
adorned Orpheus...

that via a living "game": stoking up an appetite
with this entertainment the appetite increaes...
as does one health...

sorry... pagans... bloodthirty people...
trouble with the translation...
apparently the mud slinging
***** and bricks are nothing new...

or when you "minus" the disk,
litter the distance, head with the wind into
competition!
after hardships of the body is good and
the meal is simple -
(apparently all of this is still "connected",
scratch of the ol' 'ed and we're fine...
we're ******* sailing!)
Falern will not hurt "us"...
seasoned by honey from Hymettis,
before the entré. Safaz left,
the sea rumbles, the zephyr of fish it protects,
storm, fishing made unsafe;
stomach grumbles, bread with salt:
excuisite; you do not have any better! why?
taste does not reside in the scent of dishes,
but in your self alone.
toil merely increases appetite's presence.
he who over-eats, will not know the taste
of an oyster, nor a turbot, nor chickpeas,
the northern bird.
perceptions take the scalp of the mountain
above the actual taste of the dishes
(one might scalp... but never eat the scalp)...
you will not take a chicken onto a tooth,
when you are given a peacock,
you will trust your delusion:
a rare bird, worth its own weight of gold,
a most rarified tail, how it sparkles
with subtle hues!
as if the tail were to lead -
and there was no head to be found!
do you allow yourself to judge the hue
of the feathers as precursor for the adjecctive:
that's it's "also" tasty? the meat, of course?
the old - judge a book by its cover...
is the oven baked... also as delicious / beautiful?
chicken meat... or peacock meat?
almost without difference.
therefore: light... albeit...
although only vanity lures the peacock
(to be compared to a poultry)...
let's go further... i want to know: after what
do you recognise this, that a pike
with its gaping mouth was left:
from the sea... or from the Tiber fished?
somewhere among bridges... or from some
conrete estuary? idiot-kin of the surname whim...
you admire a three-pound mullet!
do you take size... for the gauge of all measure?
when you... cut the bell?
then why... why... with disgrace
do you demand in appreciation:
elongating pikes!
evidently nature: this greater gave the proper
measure... and with it: the lesser weight -
an empty stomach will rarely -
being fed a simple thing - despise -
what is...

an empty stomach - rarely despises -
simple matters.

how true... i was allowing myself the time
it would take to drink,
and translate into the vulgate...
but... from no better source...
and i am still to add to this one of my...
"freeing of the drafts"...

as promised...
"draft"...

- a most confiscated man -
no italics included...

.the original draft:

binges, worth the count
of a liter of whiskey
per night,
for a year, if not more...
become so...
so unspectular...

          the world either
screams, or yawns,
generally:
it exhaust a desire
to toss a coin,
agitate the vocab.,

a grand canyon
huddling
in the "depths" of
a glass of water...

baron science
comes with his rubric
of bore,
      and:
i find myself,
most idle:
while the world
orientates
itself in keeping
itself busy,
bothersome,
always the prime concern,

the ant-colony coup,
the:
i always find friends
in the orientations
of an empty glass,
but prior to:

i drink
before no altar,
no mirror,
no confidante...

     pure flesh revels itself
in a blank's worth
of prior to dictum's
  allowance of, a page...

bothersome
the knot of the pretentious
anti- in scold of
the passing fancy:
expression...

            poker charm
of a love's affair...

_

i sometimes entertain myself
with ancients proverbs,
one slavic proverb reads:
better a sparrow in your hand
than a dove on your roof...

what, could, possibly be,
the interpretation?
care for the small joys in
your possession,
than, for the peace of your household,
which is, on the roof,
but not in your hands...

if i were paid? would i be more
honest?
probably not...
        what i see, is what needs
to be seen...
  em... simple pleasures talk...
once upon a time,
donning long hair, implied
you were a mosher...
a metal-head...
    now? three days +,
long hair, and you're not a
grunge fanatic?
  trans-, etc.?

   a man of simple pleasures,
i know what long hair,
jealousy, associated with
putting it in a french braid,
does to a camel jockey ego...
ruins and ruins as far as the eyes
can see...
    he replicates...
he grows his hair long...
at the same time boasting about
haivng a premature beard...
then you grow a beard yourself...
you start fiddling with it...
****, ***** on my face...
and then...
the "question" of a girlfriend
flies out of the window...
i'm happy with a beard,
thank you, very much,
i don't, exactly want to wish upon
myself, a female, company...

*** protest all you want...
the *** differences between men
and women, to my sort of understanding,
are, unrepairable...
     they were, never,
bound, to being, repaired...
savvy?
            i take my route,
a woman took her route...
  we're even...
                
      since what can only frighten a freed
woman, beside a monarch,
a free man?
                   a man with...
a gamble...
         i am a man with a gamble...
i don't like being told what
to be, or what to think...
like any man,
and like any man:
i don't like being forced
ownership over a being:
that can share my sense of freedom...
so...
    i find myself,
thrilled with relief,
at now having to answer to
a woman's subjugation...
like a woman, and, i have learned
from women: i like being
my objective's self...
rather than a "self" made subject...

i like that: thank you...
i can start feedings the pigs and the peasant
the diatribe life, and lie,
of: there being an existential cricis,
a need to reproduce...
and i, and i am, being demeaning
in this, way, for a justified reason...

once the peasants attack you:
you attack, the peasants...
you demean them in the same way
they demeaned you...

once upon a time i thought:
greater good came from the number
of innocents being salvaged
than for the few great of grand bearing
being salvaged...
even if bound to an ill will:
an ill command,
of a will, predisposed to pretend
actions of the blind...
but now i see...

   the many: if beside fulfilling
their petty deeds,
having to stand outside of those,
petty deeds,
  have ambitions equivalent
to their emotions...
            akin to something worth,
pity, akin to something
worth: as little as a rat's heartbeat...
petty, primitive bull-*******...
and all the amount of sorrow,
or pity,
or mercy...
              that, these, ******* allow...
are worth the same response
Pontius Pilate gave...
       there isn't enough of water,
in this world,
to wash my hands, clean,
of these people...
   even if innocent blood plagues
them,
    not enough waters have run their
due course,
to... release me from the indentation
of memory upon my mind...
and i am plagued by an elephant's
memory...
        we've reached the conclusion
of: some people...
  just do not see an insult,
             past the insult's eloquence!

i am a most conflicted man,
i binge watched vikings
for a while now,
and right now, i'm ready for
an extraction of what i have learned...

believe me: i am not someone
who has the sort of ego-presence
to fate myself in the role
of the protagonist...
     i'm too pedantic to have to
market my body and deeds,
for the fates tio see,
and history to ascribe fame unto me...

even homer was off too war
with troy,
   and blessed he became...

because? time morphs,
the longer something is kept,
the more, "unreal" is becomes,
a fairy-tale...
esp. now, with the onslaught
of journalism...
two things in this world
are insomniac,
money never sleeps,
and, now, apparently,
journalism doesn't sleep either:
well, given its ******
bed-fellow of political liars...
why should it?

             Rolo... a semi-minor character...
but i feel his angst at the already
fervent dichotomy,
(dichotomy, modern variety variant
of schizoid-affective...
or bilingual in turn)...

            music...
                    all these modły...
gesticulations of prayer,
phantom conjuring,
               lunatics with candles
at high-noon...
                  i am fated by music,
i am perverted by music,
i am swayed by music...
who is the god, patron,
of music?
who is the angel (demi-god),
patron of music?
         i do not seek the highest
influencer...
the minor one...

   when Archangel Sandalphon
met St. Cecilia...
but as such, i am, conflicted...
even though, this is the first time
i have heard of Sandalphon...

Rome, never reached my peoples,
the Vikings did...
   weren't the ugly vikings the founders
of Kiev?
  so they must have passed via
the Polen (field) land, no?

feelings are not important,
facts don't care about your feelings...
granted...
but i'm not hear for facts,
contra, feelings,
i'm here for the rivers...
what i feel, what my heart yearns for,
needs to attain an equilibrium
with my mind...
for that: i need to clarify my feelings,
to hush my heart, silence it,
in order to listen to my mind,
and the mind, needs to feed into
heaving the heart: to do,
what, the heart, desires,
autonomous to what the heart
"thinks", is right...
                    that's how it was forver
going to work...
consolidated...
and yes, i much envy the punctuation
of king Ecgberht,
a man of cunning: much admired...
abstract thinker...
        and a reality...
        pun-ctu-a-tion...
the delivery of one's speech...
   much admired, as much as...
                the crude brawl possession...
the chief protagonist of the story?
as important as is: the required from
Atlas... burden upon burden...
a man burdened with the illusion
of freedom...

so why am i conflicted,
but becoming less and less so?
    it was always the music...

songs...

           chavelier, mult estes guariz...
wardruna - helvegen...
           da pacem domine...
             agni parthene...

you know... there's much more beside
being a jazz enthusiast or
a classical music snob...
         there's folk... there's religious and pagan
chants...
if there's one thing to benefit from,
in terms of the Byzantine context...
the chants...
        let the barbarians do the thinking
from now on: you do the sing-along...
no people ever reinvented themselves
from an ancient glory...
   new blood had to come to the fore...

like today...
       i spoke with my father and my mother...
about the names of apples...
we must have talked for an hour,
we named so many lost "breeds" of apple...
nouns i will not write,
nouns i wish death to write down,
i want Samael to have,
beside the book of my deeds in hand,
i want him to have
my dictionary in hand,
my knowledge of the sacred script,
i want to listen as he recites me the words
i've used,
notably today's conversation
            about the many types of apples...
e.g.: shogun apples...
             kox...
                    szare renety...
          papierówki...
                    marabella prunes...
that's all i ask of Samil.

precursor - title correlation
body -

mind of:

C                oh

    oh                      Ri

n'ah.   (half an hour fiddling with a 502 bad
gateway; traffic these days! jeez!)

I.

it don't know what's more frustrating for the reasons that it's so good... i can't choose... it's a close call... either listening to Red Hot Chilli Peppers' B-sides from By The Way... ugh! why didn't they release that as a double album! Stadium Arcadium was not that good as a double-album... all the prior albums are MAGIC... literally... for ****'s sake: GOLDMINE is literally just that... there's that... i can't concentrate on making my own translation of Ovid... i'm yet to scribble down the translation i have... i can't even drink my whiskey properly... the other frustrating focus? watching Armand Duplantis break his own world record of 6.21metres... the ****** has still at least 10cm in him! a record that will have to stand-still for the next 20+ years... i'll be dead before this record is broken... Сергій Бубка best be sleeping... i'm listening to the music, reliving the end of the World Athletics and trying to heel-myself-in-the-buttocks: better get a move on boy... hmm! "trying"... i'm actually heeling myself in the buttocks: no time to wait... one can wait for a bus... one cannot for one's own incentive... ol' Lizzy is coming up the mountain... she's coming with the proper closure of the 20th century... however many popes she outlived... however many prime ministers and american presidents... come on Lizzie... just one more year... i'm actually dying to spend money with whittle Charlie printed on the notes... my fingers are itching... but **** me... music so good By The Way should have been a double-album... no! Stadium Arcadium was not the salvagable double-album worth session... i'm getting "schizophrenic" vibes... i know that poetry is not an entertaining medium: it's a complacent self-congratulatory, thereupeutic load of *******... it's obnixious when staged: the exasperated art of speaking with speed... today i realised that i much prefer drinking to having ***... i like the preservation of my brain with a hard-on of itchy fingers than any actual ******* hard-ons... the knife opening oysters or plucking out the eyes of deer... best the eyes be gauged out... than having deer stare into car lights... hybrid confusions of static, motivated to move... frozen in a make-shift imitation of root and clay and copper: bam! one more statue down...

II.

it's no wonder why i'm not looking for a girlfriend, it's no longer bewildering why i'm not looking for a wife, at best i'm looking out for that ancient custom of Roman emperors: to become a foster father, a surrogate - i'm yet to find a match-up... i almost did, but she undermined my chances by undermining her own seriousness in such affairs... but clarity does come... as much as i might be a surrogate father to her son or daughter: i wouldn't be faithful to her... i would steal the night and run away into a brothel... but there's something else... the whole dynamic of publishing has changed... the whole idea of a library has also changed... i own more valuable books in my private collection than the public library of Romford... which is me peering at the dire straits of what the public is fed... i know why i don't aspire for pair-bonding... perhaps man so levelled aspired toward the imitation of birds a long time ago... perhaps swans are truly noble creatures: for one hears of widow and widower swans... perhaps parrots: born from those monstrous beasts that were the dinosaurs can imitate our talk... all that's this reality within the confines of "perhaps": nonetheless, it's all true... but perhaps being the mammal that i am... i moved from a community of chimpanzees into a solo-ride of imitation-bear... perhaps i only entertain the opposite *** on the encounter of ***... i couldn't land a conversation with a woman outside the constrictive-framework of work, so much so: i would abhor the mindset of men that go on dates with women: buy them food and then EXPECT... i leave that ******* out in my interactions... pay-up-front for what you're about to receive otherwise don't play cat while the woman plays mouse... or rather... a rat in cat's clothing: the woman therefore becoming a rat-trap... mind you: i can't think of a more terrible idea than the modern version of: eat first, **** later... at the old ****** proverb states: a hungry ****** is angry... a filled ****** is lazy... god forbid i ever become tempted by those dating sites... i'm currently looking for the original Latin text of Ovid's the Amores book 2 poem 6... why? what i have in my hand... and what i'm finding... it's like what Robert Pinsky remarked about once: TRANSLATIONS differ so much from one translator to another...

they have done it... UEFA are mad... just to get my
accreditation for the women's Euros final
at Wembley they're asking me to bring my passport
with me... so is Wembley the JFK of Florida
          space-shuttle launch? Houston? am i leaving
the country?
                but the girls have done it...
funny: some other people are still complaining:
IT'S TOO WHITE!
   there's not enough diversity in the team...
          that's me also planning to go and live
in Kenya and become a model for toilet paper...
i'm sure i could replace that known Koala bear /
golden retriever or perhaps i could go there
and model for soap adverts...
it just so happened that racial tensions (only football
could create them) rose up for a little:
just one night the day England lost to Italy
on penalty shootouts... because... 3 black guys
were playing a rigged roulette...
            then again? me? and the African heat?
fat chance...

find me the original Elegy VI: the death of Corinna's
pet parrot...
oh man... and her name was Polly...
i sat up late last night trying to find something
interest on the television...
bam! thank you ma'am...
                       kurt cobain: montage of heck...
sort of reminded me of...
                           a SCANNER DARKLY...
                           mind you: i sometimes do enjoy
a one-man show... or at least two...
there was this brilliant show in the West End...
Stones in his Pockets...
       two actors... sharing the roles of...
                  about 15 people each...
but it was back in circa 2001...
so... maybe it was Louis Dempsey
                                                        & Sean Sloan...
mind you... i'd still love to see Samuel Beckett's
             NOT I...

Jack Trades says: i'm about to a heap
of hay of hate...
                                i'm everywhere sometimes...
if it's not music, then its visual arts,
then it's philosophy, then fine literature...
then something "oriental" in thinking...
then its coupling my fetish for Deutsche as:
father to the English zunge...
then it's back east to rummage in some Katakana...

i know why i'm single, Roger Moore remained
a bachelor until his death...
  courteous: as ever as forever always...
i'd be a terrible match-up... i've given pair-bonding
a chance: i can't bemoan why X is not Y...
the sort of men that pair-bond are claustrophilic...
they love the company of a mate...
each time i was ever in a "relationship" i already
had one foot dangling: tapping an imaginary
drum set...
recently i discovered the B-side of the Red Hot Chilli
Peppers... so for me it's a version
of keeping the 20th century alive with
the "dichotomy" of the Rolling Stones vs.
the Beatles... i'm more... R.H.C.P.'s A-sides
of R.H.C.P.'s B-sides?
                                        i'm busy...
                i'm always busy... i don't want to relax...
i want a Turkish barber to suggest that
i need  hot-towel and an arm massage after
my beard is trimmed and... i'm still going to state:
getting a Turk to trim my beard is a close
contender to oral *** from a Turkish *******...

but try finding me that original Latin of Ovid's...
ah! found it! let's see if i can compete with
my own translation... the one i originally read
and the one i found finding the original Latin
were so disparaging...

**** yes! well... there was Ted Hughes writing
about the Crow... poor ******...
should have killed himself: might have competed
with his terribly-wonderful wife of a poet...
i give her that: what noose?
best head in an oven...
and you want a shovel with that?
but this is Ovid... "complaining" about
the death of his lover's parrot...
immediately i jumped to conclusions:
not enough crackers...

(A) the Original:

Psittacus, Eois imitatrix ales ab Indis,
    occidit—exequias ite frequenter, aves!
ite, piae volucres, et plangite pectora pinnis
    et rigido teneras ungue notate genas;
horrida pro maestis lanietur pluma capillis,
    pro longa resonent carmina vestra tuba!
quod scelus Ismarii quereris, Philomela, tyranni,
    expleta est annis ista querela suis;
alitis in rarae miserum devertere funus—
    magna, sed antiqua est causa doloris Itys.
Omnes, quae liquido libratis in aere cursus,
    tu tamen ante alios, turtur amice, dole!
plena fuit vobis omni concordia vita,
    et stetit ad finem longa tenaxque fides.
quod fuit Argolico iuvenis Phoceus Orestae,
    hoc tibi, dum licuit, psittace, turtur erat.
Quid tamen ista fides, quid rari forma coloris,
    quid vox mutandis ingeniosa sonis,
quid iuvat, ut datus es, nostrae placuisse puellae?—
    infelix, avium gloria, nempe iaces!
tu poteras fragiles pinnis hebetare zmaragdos
    tincta gerens rubro Punica rostra croco.
non fuit in terris vocum simulantior ales—
    reddebas blaeso tam bene verba sono!
Raptus es invidia—non tu fera bella movebas;
    garrulus et placidae pacis amator eras.
ecce, coturnices inter sua proelia vivunt;
    forsitan et fiunt inde frequenter ****.
plenus eras minimo, nec prae sermonis amore
    in multos poteras ora vacare cibos.
nux erat esca tibi, causaeque papavera somni,
    pellebatque sitim simplicis umor aquae.
vivit edax vultur ducensque per aera gyros
    miluus et pluviae graculus auctor aquae;
vivit et armiferae cornix invisa Minervae—
    illa quidem saeclis vix moritura novem;
occidit illa loquax humanae vocis imago,
    psittacus, extremo munus ab orbe datum!
optima prima fere manibus rapiuntur avaris;
    inplentur numeris deteriora suis.
tristia Phylacidae Thersites funera vidit,
    iamque cinis vivis fratribus Hector erat.
Quid referam timidae pro te pia vota puellae—
    vota procelloso per mare rapta Noto?
septima lux venit non exhibitura sequentem,
    et stabat vacuo iam tibi Parca colo.
nec tamen ignavo stupuerunt verba palato;
    clamavit moriens lingua: 'Corinna, vale!'
Colle sub Elysio nigra nemus ilice frondet,
    udaque perpetuo gramine terra viret.
siqua fides dubiis, volucrum locus ille piarum
    dicitur, obscenae quo prohibentur aves.
illic innocui late pascuntur olores
    et vivax phoenix, unica semper avis;
explicat ipsa suas ales Iunonia pinnas,
    oscula dat cupido blanda columba mari.
psittacus has inter nemorali sede receptus
    convertit volucres in sua verba pias.
Ossa tegit tumulus—tumulus pro corpore magnus—
    quo lapis exiguus par sibi carmen habet:
"colligor ex ipso dominae placuisse sepulcro;
    ora fuere mihi plus ave docta loqui".

mein gott... in English it reads so smoothly reading
it while listening to Red Hot Chilli Peppers'
B-sides... quixoticelixer...
teatra jam (short)... and then thinking about it...
through to and through Going Li coupled
with trouble in the pub (instrumental version)...

i will never own a car...
              mind you: i already secretely own a house...
if i keep appeasing my mother and my father:
when reality kicks in and they're dead and i'm
project solo... it's not like i'm waiting for the day...
they are hoarders of shoes and screws...
literally... no metaphor...
  on my own: i will have to recycle so much ****
before i will put the house on the market...
and? i never pledged any allegiance to Essex...
England... i have: pledged an allegiance
to the English tongue...
                 but if not the Shetland Islands...
north... "god" send me north! even as far as
Greenland!
                i'm not willing to die in a place where
villages are flaring up in a July heat...

i can't bemoan what i honestly couldn't keep...
i sometimes get mad at my father for being
so submissive to my mother...
i sometimes get so mad at my mother for only
being able to talk about her chronic pains:
i'm alligned with my grandmother
who once said: she's just like your paternal
great-grandmother... every itch and scratch...
it's like writing with chalk on a blackboard...
hey presto! ruptures of the Grand Canyon...
that ******* bollocking of: ooh! ah!
           me? i don't understand people with tattoos...
me? i collect scars...
these two fading ones on my face are a disappointment...
i thought something more pronounced
could be kept from that bicycle-crach Francis Bacon
esque imitation of painting:
   the sort of painting where you can still revel
in brush-strokes being visible...
   because it's not rigid: Renaissance form painting...

now: i can sort of imagine what men couple up...
those who fear being alone...
those not interested in art...
those mostly interested in sport... but not all sport...
just some sports...
sports that they support "passing their lineage"
with according to the cult of football teams...
not all-sports... i.e. not an interest in fencing...
swimming... certainly guys who thought:
wow! tennis is great to watch!
   but squash is so much more fun to play!
cycling... well... if you love cycling per se:
watching other people cycle is a bit: BOO-RING...
what sort of other men get married?
probably those not interested in risque ***
with prostitutes...
ones interested in making money for a woman
to spend...
me? i'm not interested in money...
                       in terms of money:
i'm more likely to spend £30 on a book than
think about a dinner date...
                      
is that...   ??? i'm not even going to ask myself
that question that begins with a buzz-word
and the letters Mmmm... miso...
                             well... what is a boy to do...
figure out what to do with his spare time...
               i don't mind cleaning the house:
who ever said that it's the duty of a woman to keep
the house clean? i like living in a household in order...
i love cooking: it's like chemistry 2.0...
                      give me a bag of Indian spices and i'll
cook up a perfect storm of a curry...
but then again: i'm not work-shy when it comes
to using heavy-duty tools akin to the KANGO...
which... i later found out was a Japanese word for
Chinese in general... or the other way round...
i'd hate to be one of those Phil Collins types of
forgetting how many hands i have
by changing gloves like i might be an octopus...

and when it comes to children?
eh... it's enough for a boy in a buggy in a supermarket
pointing his finger at me as i walk past
making that chimpanzee face of OOH at me...
or a fist-bump with some teenagers at the London
Stadium... that's enough... i'm happy to play
the "secret uncle" role...
while women remain women: as fickle as the wind...
i've learned to live with that reality...
i scratch my beard and pretend that i'm playing
a violin...

plus, i'm a terrible drinker... i'm a loving-drunk...
i'm drunk right now...
if a litre of whiskey per night satisfies
my libido shortages i'm happy:
it implies i can write... i stop drinking and start
*******: alles goot...
                           today i was visited by a wasp...
i was visited by a bee before...
oh man... it was heart-breaking...
he was dying... i had to help him...
   i poured some honey onto the pave-,
and moved him towards the puddle...
he stuck his mighty Gene Simmons sucker out
and started to perform an OD on sugar...
i was glad... watching him die from a sugar-overdose...
it was: rather pleasant to watch...

TERROR! mix JAINISM with TAOISM
and fuse that in an European mind...
               but i'll still eat meat...
                        it's a parody of what's to be expected:
i prefer life with the possibilities of change...
with... curiosities of: extensive ulterior
possibilities that run counter to estblished norms
of expectations of a RIGID MIND...
i water: i flow...
      i fire: i dance...
i air: i whirl...
i earth: i rumble...
i lightning: i blink...
hey presto! the five elements!

in another language close to my heart:
since i was born with it...
the pronoun disappears:
ja woda: płyne
ja ogien: tańcze...
   ja powietrze: kręce się (odd)
ja ziemia: trzęse się (also "odd")
ja grzmot: mrygam

there are languages in existence where pronouns
hide... to be honest...
in ******? the pronouns are rarely used...
oh mein gott... when they're used in a sentence:
esp. the I... it's like... wow! i just found
a "nugget of gold"!
seriously... that how my mother-tongue
is structured: on English is the current
prounoun-circus available to watch...
i'm siding with the Somali pirates having
a giggle... playing blackjack with either Greeks
or some other Africans...

there are languages in English that cannot: will not,
succumb to the current Marxist onslight
happening in this tongue...
not because these languages will not:
they CANNOT...
mind you... it's such an intellectual low-bar
of achievement... but since it's piggy-pop...
it must be slaughtered on an individual level
before this DISEASE is allowed to spread...
thank heavens that English is only my second
language... how that allows me to bypass
buying into any sort of propaganda...
   my lingua Ingelese... my tongue for spreading
ideas...
    oh: and thank **** i' expressing in a medium
desecrated by the same people pushing these
sordid ideas... post-humous fame! 'ere i come!
obviously! who's in it for the "real" and immediate
if one isn't... fabricating a pickling of a shark
in plastic.... who? who?! woof!
   a-woooooo"

            my heart has shrunk and hardened to
the size and hardness of a pebble...
    i wish i could entertain cosy nights with a woman
watching some pointless movie about
the stereotypes of love... then again: no...
i'd rather not...
drinking alone: who the hell said i was alone?
i sometimes "hallucinate" someone crying:
of late... i'm like: this isn't Aud Lang Syne...
this isn't Shakespear...
then again i love the idea that my true readers
are yet to be born...
i'm happy, happy-bear-alone...
                       a Maine **** is sleeping in my
bed... i'll join him come the right hour...
but he's not looking at me... he's looking above me...
only yesterday i started to paparazzi
a wasp that flew into my bedroom...
          what the **** do i have above me?
please say letters... i will not do alright with a halo...
i'm not going to join that
archangel one minute... saint the next...
clip my ******* wings for a get-through-easy
card: no!
          
it became finalized today... i'm literally tired
of ***... i'm tired of *** when it's equivalent to not...
being tired of eating food... drinking water...
it's unnecessarily-necessary... *** as golf...
per say...
                2 months of delay in payment...
i'm thinking about rekindling my affair with that mountain
bike... i have to forget the streets...
i need the woods again... but for that i need new tires...
oh... hell... i no longer have anything
to prove in the brothel... blah blah whatever...
threesomes look great: LOOk...
like a block of cheddar looks great...
when shredded...
and then melting...
perhaps in pornographic flicks...
but in reality? the changing of condoms
from one mouth to another...
from one ****** to another...
                          
what?! peiple are having unprotected ***?
vermin ****?!
   **** me... well... at least i'm obnoxiously savvy
in that regard...
no no... it's too disappointing...
you have to split your attention up...
there's nothing good about a *******...
why? because, usually... of the two girls...
there's one you really want to be a screwdriver to...
while the other is just being a, *******...
a ******* bandwagon... leftovers...
a pair of **** you get to imitate ****** with...
it's a bit like:
coupling an elephant with a giraffe...
but i want to ride the elephant!
but i want to stroke the giraffe's neck!
but  i want to pretend the elephants's tusk...
no! not tusk! TRUNK....
that rectangular bit of ******* you shovel
your clothes in when travelling...
TRUNK... or a TRAMPOLINE!
no... not the bouncy layer...
TRUNK... sneeze! trambone! jazz! ******* Miles Daisies!
Davis!  trumpet *******!
no... don't get me started on the sax...

then again: i want a rhino's horn! ram-jam...
Black Betty Bam B'eh Lam!

- oh no... i moved along... R.H.C.P.'s: thanks for the t-shirt...
Big Bukowski style:
i hate the eagles... run through the jungle...
run Forrest! whun!
WHUN!
  and that's me... hardly a LAMNTIA of the Beatniks
tripping... me? enough whiskey
and the right song... and i'm grooving beside
an imaginary drum-kit...
in that: once upon a time...
when men grew their hair long...
they were the barbarians knocking
on the gates of Rome... rather than being
the implosion of Rome within with
all of Rome's degeneracy of transgender gimmicks...

mind you: i've given it some thought...
i broke it down toward the following schematic:

anonymous audience, commenting,
video making blah blah...
****** "schematic": if you can call it that...
mind you: the VAR in WIETNAM
had the best soundtrack...
just saying: hey! her?! hey! don't shoot
the messanger!
i'd rather work the Fulham opening night
with the new stand: Thames-side being opened
than attend Wembley for a Westwood...
Westworld... Westlife concert,
i'm all up for handling those Scousers:
northern monkeys?
southern fairies...
let's just call them for what they are...
northern TOURISTS...

but the dynamic of publishing has changed:
i already know the criterium first...
women and children first...
THIRST beccause water matters...
i'm thirsty too... one litre of whiskey and
i'm still typing like a machine...
i'll box my liver and kidneys
as long as i keep my brain and eyes happy...

but it's just a different dynamic...
the internet experience...
i know a lot of people miss it...
i can't force people to read my bollocking-riddles...
ergo? i don't stagnate into celebrating it
or therefore advertising it...
i'm either read or i'm STAUB...
   dust...
                
i can't! i'm only making something available...
i can't force people out of their democratic "wedlock"...
you like it? great! you don't? great!
but the psychology of those video creators that
mind how many views they receive and
how many comments they: likewise receive...
"false hits" with the number of hits of viewership?

me? i'm not bothered... i've been watching
the female Euro finals...
i was almost scared... what if the female England team
don't make it to the finals?!
me? i'm gearing up...
any rowdy hooligans up to speed?!
as much as i hate women not trying toi compete
in sports that are sexually-exclusive...
there's this... THIS... i watch the games because
the Colleseum is burning...
i'm only watching the fire...
    and i'm watching the women i'd love to ****...
this never would have happened if watching
tennis...

    the crisp biting attache of a sharpshooter
WONG sort of mixer-mix-up with a whiskey
and a pepssi...
me... reaching for a second glass
with one already filled like: *******... RAINMAN...

keep your horses!
i'm gearing up to a translation!
wait, the, ****, up! keep it cool in Doob-Lyn!
oh no... you don't get to tell me
i use too many vowels without me showing
you... you mishandled the vowel-to-consonant
dynamic... Doob-Lyn is Dublin: tow me...
no: not to me? tow me... now you're dragging me
along the snail-trail...

the disparaging translations:

(B) the A. S. Kline translation

Parrot, the mimic, the winged one from India’s Orient,
is dead – Go, birds, in a flock and follow him to the grave!
Go, pious feathered ones, beat your ******* with your wings
and mark your delicate cheeks with hard talons:
tear out your shaggy plumage, instead of hair, n mourning:
sound out your songs with long piping!
Philomela , mourning the crime of the Thracian tyrant,
the years of your mourning are complete:
divert your lament to the death of a rare bird –
Itys is a great but ancient reason for grief.
All who balance in flight in the flowing air,
and you, above others, his friend the turtle-dove, grieve!
All your lives you were in perfect concord,
and held firm in your faithfulness to the end.
What the youth from Phocis was to Orestes of Argos,
while she could be, Parrot, turtle-dove was to you.
What worth now your loyalty, your rare form and colour,
the clever way you altered the sound of your voice,
what joy in the pleasure given you by our mistress? –
Unhappy one, glory of birds, you’re certainly dead!
You could dim emeralds matched to your fragile feathers,
wearing a beak dyed scarlet spotted with saffron.
No bird on earth could better copy a voice –
or reply so well with words in a lisping tone!
You were snatched by Envy – you who never made war:
you were garrulous and a lover of gentle peace.
Behold, quails live fighting amongst themselves:
perhaps that’s why they frequently reach old age.
Your food was little, compared with your love of talking
you could never free your beak much for eating.
Nuts were his diet, and poppy-seed made him sleep,
and he drove away thirst with simple draughts of water.
Gluttonous vultures may live and kites, tracing spirals
in air, and jackdaws, informants of rain to come:
and the raven detested by armed Minerva lives too –
he whose strength can last out nine generations:
but that loquacious mimic of the human voice,
Parrot, the gift from the end of the earth, is dead
The best are always taken first by greedy hands:
the worse make up a full span of years.
Thersites saw Protesilaus’s sad funeral,
and Hector was ashes while his brothers lived.
Why recall the pious prayers of my frightened girl for you –
prayers that a stormy south wind blew out to sea?
The seventh dawn came with nothing there beyond,
and Fate held an empty spool of thread for you.
Yet still the words from his listless beak astonished:
dying his tongue cried: ‘Corinna, farewell!’
A grove of dark holm oaks leafs beneath an Elysian *****,
the damp earth green with everlasting grass.
If you can believe it, they say there’s a place there
for pious birds, from which ominous ones are barred.
There innocuous swans browse far and wide
and the phoenix lives there, unique immortal bird:
There Juno’s peacock displays his tail-feathers,
and the dove lovingly bills and coos.
Parrot gaining a place among those trees
translates the pious birds in his own words.
A tumulus holds his bones – a tumulus fitting his size –
whose little stone carries lines appropriate for him:
‘His grave holds one who pleased his mistress:
his speech to me was cleverer than other birds’.

(C) the  P. Green translation

parrot, that feathered mimic from India's dawlands,
is dead. come flocking, birds, to his funeral:
come, all you godfearing airborne creatures,
beat ******* with wings,
   mourn, claw your polls, tear out soft feathers
(your hair), and pipe high your sad lament.
Philomela, nightingale, the ancient crimes of Tereus
which you lament is long past -
    divert your grief to the obsequies of a rare and modern
bird: poor Itylus' case was tragic, but antique.
all wind-borne voyagers through the clear empyrean
lament now, and above all his friend the turtle-dove
they lived in complete agreement,
    their bond of faith held firm to the end.
what Pylades was to Orestes or Argos, that Parrot,
turtle-dove was to you - while fate allowed.
yet of no avail your devotion, your rare and beautiful
plumage,
your adaptable mimic's voice;
    not even the care that my darling lavished on you -
poor Polly, paragon of birdhood, is dead.
so gree his feathers, they dimmed the cut emerald;
scarlet his beak, with saffron spots.
no bird on earth could copy a voice more closely
or sound so articulate.
fate, jealous, removed him - that unaggressive creature,
that talktative devotee of peace,
with his tiny appetite , whose love of conversation
left him little leisure for food,
who lived on a diet of nuts, used poppy-seed to encourage
sound sleep: kept his thirst at bay with nothing but water.
quails spend their whole life fighting -
maybe that's how they reach a ripe old age.
carnivorous vultures, kites gyring high in the heavens,
weather-wise jackdaws, prophets of rain to come,
are all long-lived - while Minerva's bête noire, the raven,
can outlast nine generations. yet Parrot is dead,
that loquacious parody of human utterance,, that bonanza
from the eastern edge of the world,
greedy death almost always pickss off the best ones early -
it's the third-raters who reach a ripe old age.
Thersites attended the funeral of Protesilaus;
Hector was ashes while his brothers still lived.
what point is recalling the desperate prayers my sweetheart
uttered?
some stormy sirocco blew them out to sea.
six days he survived, and then, at dawn on the seventh,
his thread of destiny ran out.
yet somehow, though dying, he could still find utterance,
and the last words he ever spoke were: 'Corinna, farewell!'
beneath a hill in Elyium, where dark ilex clussters
and the moist earth is for ever green,
there exists - or so i have heard - the pious fowls' heaven
(all ill-omened predators barred).
harmless swaans roam after foot there, there dwells
the phoenix, that long-lived, ever-solitary bird;
there Juno's peacock spreads out his splendid fantail
amid the billing and cooing of amorous doves;
and there, in this woodland haven, the feathered faithful
welcome Parrot, flock round to hear him talk.
his bones lie buried under a parrot-sized tumulus
with a tiny headstone bearing these words:
r.i.p. Polly: this tribute from his loving mistress:
articulate beyond a common bird

the thought of LEMONS or perhaps
the IDEA of lemon...
then again: i can't refrain from
ORANGES and LIMES...
and the shy-sunlight of autumn
and the blooming of apples...
and operas...
             "someone"...
                              what pretty pies of
unfuckable wonders await...

divert your grief to the obsequeies of a rare and modern
bird: poor Itylus' case was tragic, but antique
(antiquated?).
all wind-borne voyagers through tge clear empyrean
lament nowm abd above all
his friend the turtle-dove, they lived in complete
agreement
   their bond of faith held firm to the end.
what Pylades was to Orestes of Argos, that, Parrot,
turtle-dove was to you - while Fate allowed,

i'm not even going to bother with a "bananna C"...
i woke up wild-awake with ideas...
brimming with Tao...
"non-doing" id est: point PROVEN
or rather point SERVED?!

Russia and China are clashing...
or rather sparring...
they're having their civilization-state
agenda being put in place...
while there's a "culture-war" in the "west"...
right... James Bond...
so we're refrrering to nation-stattes
as post-nationhood...
  "states"...
                    precursors to the globalist agenda
of fake space exploration via the ******* telescope...
if Russia and China are civivilasation-states...
then... whatever culture "war" is investing in:
or rather: digressing into... impliies
the FSA (federal states of america)
             is a culture-state...
                                                ­                 no?

personally? i don't like the current h'American culture...
it's absolute *******...
no! i'm not going to translate any more of Ovid...
i already read the better translation...
i found out only two minites ago that
i prefer drinking to having ***...
and keeping an eye on cats is just as rewarding
as rearing children: if you allow yourself
to give them a personality...

           so Russia is a civilisation-state...
while America is a culture-state...
                    well... no wonder...
                                            America is the zenith
that could be: but doesn't have to be
preserved...
the culture-state-of-the-sand-*******...
i wish: the Arabs clocked in lucky...
sitting on so much raw ill of oil...
bounce bounce libido bounce bounce...

hmm... "inner monologue"... i had that "thing"
once... i kost it... turning psychotic...
then again: within the confines of having
an internal monologue? i was passive...
       i was a passive agent...
                         upon losing it: having my soul
evaporate: becoming an "N.P.C."...
i became an active agent...
i opened my eyes a second time...

           i think my inner monolpogue became blocked
by:
został wyciszony... bo zaczoł być cykliczny,
tzn. nie po prostej:
       wymarł według koncepcji
sprawiedliwości...

even i know: the gods uttered the words:
shut the **** up! we know you're right!
but we're playing roulette!
shut the ******! we're playing cards!
shut up!
wait! wait your turn!
**** me, given the prowess at attaing
a concept of the differential of space comparing
time... i.e. speed... i'll be karma-happy
once i die...

i'm not translating the rest of that Ovid...
a girl's parraot died... great!
now i'm thinking about:
a bicyckle is a terrible idea... to ride...
on the roads towards St. Paul's... i think i might
require a horse!
i need a horse! bring me a hood, a hoof,
an apple and a toothbrush!
the last place i'm thinking about moving
to is California...
   and thank no god for that...
just the people who already live there.

III.

i sooner discovered the rare B-sides of Red Hot Chilli
Peppers than having realised... oh right...
they release two albums after By the Way...
i completely forgot about those two...
               guess i'm not as big a fan as i thought i was...
Go Robot... it's not oh so wo terrible now, or anymore...
oh woah woe... what a whale to ride into the night...

sometimes it just happens, a sort of blend of an Ezrra Pound
and a Charles Olson moment, poem, moment-poem...
it stretches for three days and you just don't want
to finish it... you kept repeating yourself writing seemingly
aimlessly with no focus...
at this point writing becomes theraputic...
by the simple act of writing: not theraputic regarding
what you're writing about: memories of frustration and
complications having finished Thomas Mann's Dr. Faustus...
unlike those joyous frustrations with Samuel Beckett's
Watt...
                  and on the third day "he" finished painting
four metal chairs a new colour of copperhead...
a copperneck painting chairs copperhead...
to me the colour of copper is more appealing than
that of gold...

if i still had that inner-monologue people speak of
i wouldn't be writing this,
that inner-monologue fantasy i once was a proud owner
of: i.e. the closest "thing" to the idea of soul
was also filled with so many doubts...
i simply don't care what the supposed benefits
of it were... that whole no-inner-monologue ergo
one's an NPC (non-playable character)...
    i remember that that when my first psychotic episode
slammed me on a rampage i started to see DIFFERENTLY...
it was as if a veil was lifted from my eyes...
if i didn't write terrible poetry back then...
i most certainly wrote very little...
             the inner-monologue doubts... a plethora of them...
no? psychosis = the osmosis of soul...
   the body has remained... the devils said:
but these idle hands and this idle intellect have to stay...
we'll pass on the message with your soul
as it leaves your body...
call it whatever you want:
   res vanus or the silence of the "mind"...
that's how you become more of an active agent...
it might be called writing but i call it digging...
a tunnel toward some variaton of: marrying Hades
with Tartarus...
                after all... Venus is the daughter of titans...
and she's the only Titan among the Olympian gods:
such is her perfection... almost on par with
   the patron of philosophers that's Sacred Sophia:
who entertains the foolishness of elder men
without being able to tell them apart from boys...

IV. if i were to translate Amores II. XI

would i be willing to add a D in the translation sequence?
i don't think so
there's no need... i like comparing the two i already
made available...
i just wanted to stress how unbelievable Latin is...
compared to the modern tongue, for example English...
how compact it is!
- and course, i prefer the second translation...
     it... exfoliates!
                     this is the point for me where i truly appreciate
Ovid to be on par with Horace...

side by side walking through the zenith-nadir of
man...

   i'm finally come across a sequence of events that
make me unwilling to stop typing: perhaps if i get
drunk enough and stumble on my first typo
perhaps a series of typos would end my ambition...

do i think men in the west are living
in a land of libido-insomnia? i think they are...
whoever said that watching one type of pornogrphy
soon spirals out of control and men start
scouting for more extreme *******:
hello outlier A! hello outlier B!
where's outlier C? oh... he's coming...
at a time when women are supposed to be these
sexually liberated creatures while men
are either STAGS with harems or limp biscuit *****...
thank god i managed to catch the train
of having the ***** of walking into a newsagent
and buying a pornographic magazine to ******* to...
stashed about six in a folder behind
the radiator in the bathroom at 21B Beehive Lane,
Gants Hill...
                         mind you: i started prematurely...
8?
     i switch off with western ****** antics:
people are either having too much ***: ergo the kinks
or not enough of it...
outlier in the middle: when it's too hot
i leave the insects to do their lineage pride...
cooler temperatures: *** like rubbing sand-paper
on a ****** paint-job...

                         makeshift boney **** of the hand...
well: at least ******* makes me more interested in
the **** than **** ***...
but i did the opposite... i need to keep a sack-of-sanity
atop my head...
beside adoring the Katakana...
i very much adore Japanese tamed sexuality...
     グラビア アイドル (gurabia aidoru)...
back in the day when the English tabloid newspaper
the Sun had a page 3 girl...
back to basics... a show of *******...
    a show of cleavage... perhaps even the breast
like the eye... the sclera of the rounded breast...
the darkened skin at the iris and then the pupil
as the ******...
  floral patterns of the *******...
                  back to basics...
                           a photograph of a naked woman
and all the imagination at work: what wouldn't
i want to do with her?

well... if you begin pleasing yourself while concentrating
on the kiss between Venus and Cupid
in one of Bronzino's beauties of paint-strokes...
you're hardly going to go down a rabbit-hole
of "hide and hide": wihtout seeking it out...
people and thier kinks...
while a minority: dodo-project sexuality of
homosexuality is celebrated: garnerded unto the guise
of "pride": i can't stomach shame...
but hey: look at me! i'm about to parade my sexuality
like and ******* latex-clad gimp readied
for being given ***-favour-orders...

outlandish! god-forgiving god-fearing...
  hardly every god-loving...
           a settling in of a blue that's not the sky
but a melancholy... i'm finally willing to end this
"diatribe"... to start afresh... again and again...
like mixing: Dreams of a Samurai with
Hans Zimmer's spectres in the fog...

                      my ***: going back to figuring out
the premature adventures into ***...
one boy passing on the secrets of *******
to another while sharing a bath:
the cruel curiosity of the circumcision:
in a secular environment: without the kippah
or the niqab: the submission of the women...
i will not give up the "sheath" to my "sword"...
i will keep my teeth with my twirling tongue...
if ever an improvement on the aesthetics?
clipping the ears of Dobberman dogs...
banning clipping the clipping of their tails...
but still: the preserved atrocity of male circumcision...
i could agree...
once a woman is devoted to her man...
a circumcision like putting on a wedding ring...
noble swans... oh noble swans...

a melancholy that's sort of azure...
amass enough water and you will see blue...
amass "too little": freeze it...
a paleness somewhat grey...
but then the icebergs roaming that are
the Cistercians...
            all i need right now is for some lonely
dog to start barking into the night...
or the cackling "laughter" of a fox...
    
    but all those sexless lives...
            "lucky" me for taming my consumption down...
where would i be without it?
i didn't ask for a *******...
i wa offered it... i will never forget how she clamoured
for the opportunity...
she couldn't stomach being rejected twice...
she just had to clamour like a crab in a crab bucket...
even if she thought she thought she succeeded:
she was the spare wheel...
what i've learned... i prefer one-on-one interactions...
but i gave in...
   it would have never worked out:
not like it "works out" in pornographic flicks...
the sharing of saliva and other juices...
we're responsible adults...
unlike in the pornographic flicks...
          two women: one man...
the changing of condoms...
                           i had to think quick:
there's only one way i will not be undermined...
snuggling up to the one i really wanted
to spend an hour with...
                       kissing neck and cheek...
while she did a hand-job...
   the other just sat there sort of idle...
                          until i figured out... those *******
could be of some use...

- i couldn't pull off a Jesus look...
long hair and a beard is not my "thing"...
even with a sly undercut...
i chose the better option.... short hair, a beard, yes,
but a "fu manchu": an elongated love-spot...
competing with the length of the beard...
i really "don't understand" why i have no memory
of my chin and neck...
it's like there was never the idea of using
water as a mirror... perhaps poor Xerxes lashed
at the Aegean for hiding his reflection
when he had one of those Narcisstic moments
of anguish: he forgot how he looked like...
but then the sides of the moustasche also drooping:
elongated... that work much better than
a beard and long hair...
it's so unfashionable these days...
i don't get why men think beards and long hair
"work"....

then again i never figured out why Khadira
wanted to have unprotected ***...
  how she insisted that it was just plain o.k.
for me to ******* into her...
how i snapped and dived in into her pandamonium
of multiples springs of irritated ****...
all slobbering with oyster-tongue
and knose...
                               all that informed me...

companionship? what a rare commodity...
it's enough to have a mother to know
how a woman's company can quickly sour
the already sweet grapes...
one word: tell a man he's LAZY...
while he's just tired of being pushed and shoved...
if a mother can do that to a son?
what could a wife do?
                          and i'm come across curiosities of
men who waged wars with their mothers...
at the Tyson Fury boxing match...
i was trying to calm the **** down a guy
who was having a panic attack after being
"abandoned" by his mother...
who bought the tickets... and drinks...
i squeezed him hard... told him: but i'm here for free!
nay! i'm here and getting paid for it!
blah blah...
               i hate seeing panic attacks in men...
it makes me either feel like
more than a man or less of a man...
it makes me think of the men prior
with shell-shocks... or women exploiting
the challenges of p.t.s.d.

                                    i've seen so many people fake
a mental illness... i've spoken at length
to them... how easily open up to their own struggles...
while i'm left alone with whatever ones
i have...
                   maybe because my "mental health issues"
have morphed into philosophical caviats
implies that i'm immune to outright sharing
the details... and boring people to death...
so i listen...
        i listen...
                            in one ear out the other...

i remember days in high school when we would love
to change the subject, create a game:
SLAP-BALL... imitation of Tsar Peter III prior
to tennis... an imitation court... with a fence between us...
or just playing BLACKJACK...
cards... that was big... we understood that ignoring
women was best done with / by playing cards...
at one point: i remember it to this day...
Samuel Richards grabbed Ian Goodman's neck
and pinned him to the floor...
we tried to intervene...
i don't know whether it was about the actual
game of cards or whether it was about
Sam bailing out... he was about to move to France...
and ****** off from pur in-group...
started playing basketball with the black-boys...
forgot he was supposedly the "PUNK" in the school...
i remember skateboarding with him...
he actually stole his mother's credit card and bought
a skateboard for me...
but his ******* MOHICAN was ****...
it didn't entertain the entire length of his skull
meeting his spine...
but we did walk back from Romford
toward Ilford this one night...
underage drinking... singing Backstreet Boys songs...

ha ha...
         time is a museum of melancholy...
while space is a museum of furthering whatever is left
of leftover potential...

i'm so despondent about this life having to end...
today i cycled up to the traffic lights
on my ******... ******?! £125 viking road bike... say the word
****** one more time... what was i facing?
a solitary man in an Aston Martin...
behind him? some solitary guy in a Porsche...
right... "alphas"...
i'm on my bicycle... but these two guys
in those choicest of motor-examples?
that's the thing with "competing" in life rather than
sport...
     i like my bicycle... i love my bicycle...
i am yet to wash away the blood from my head
from the crash...
i don't have a broken leg: i just have an outgrowth of bone
on my shin where my bone should have cracked:
i love milk...

competing with these men... **** me...
i was thinking about the Porsche guy...
nice game... but it's not playing cards...
i taart myself up: compete...
what do i get? i get a Porsche...
     but then ahead of me there's this guy
in an Aston Martin: mate! i'm ******!
oh blue blue Hue... the Aston Martin looked like
the bomb that is already was...
the Porsche? the Porsche looked like
a ******* Ford Mondeo by comparison...
Civic Extra... if that's even a car...
i was sort of happy to by cycling...
i figured... well: i'm not using my legs...
to walk... i'm peddling...

ever heard the expression "push-bike"?
i heard that only recently... what a werid coupling
of words... a motorcycle is distinguished from
a a bicycle by the term: "push-bike"
this half-brain-dead coworker...
what the **** am i pushing?!
it's just as weird as calling it a peddling-bicycle, no?
eh?
but what am i pushing? a bicycle is a bicycle
a turtle is a turtle... i still have to figure out
what's being pushed...
what comes first? the donkey, the carrot, or the stick?!

mawn the lawn: sieve the sand...
mawn the lawn: sieve the sand...
keep nurturing the spacing between numbers
but also keep lost track of the alphebticaal
queue...
never the type to rehash a refurbishment
of SPAWN...

           i simply don't want this day-dream to end...
around me people cowering into sleep...
i'm left in limbo...
            between consetllations and the scythe
of the moon... dearest: moooooon...
i'm itching to break the silence with a howl...
but first: the thirst of a dog barking...
i hear a dog barking i'll start to howl!

aren't we simply becoming the same
tired people of old?
              more impetus...
more gravity! more fire! more tides!
more the quaking of the earth!
more whirlwinds! more! more!
one Pompeii is not enough!

                       almost one litre of whiskey
into the session and i'm sober-tense...
i'm starting to think that entertaining
hell is not a bad "gimmick"...
                  there's the imaginary hell-crowd
and there' some also doubly-imaginary
crowd of people that yet to be bound to imitation-migration
focus...
           next time you ask me:
i'd rather be eating ice: crunching on
ice than drinking water...
i want to burn my tongue...
licking ice...l i want to burn my tongue
licking ice: but first i want to be dipping
it in coridnader-cumin-chilli-turmeric mix-up
of spiders...

i want to first bruise my knees before
i lick them clean...
i want the strict juices of: not tomatoes?
red is red: ergo blood is blood...
vulture ****...
there's an open window:
there's an evaporating night too...

best refrain: 6 by 6s refrain on 9s...
since? there's plenty of 0s / oopses...
by this "flesh and blood"...
i heave this sand and timer
like: i was sadly woken up with
an inheritance of salt...
boiling blue bloods and boiling gravy...
a smile that reads: clenched teeth...
a smile so awkward that
it make^ a parrot think twice about
imitating human speech.

^a notable typo, i think i might require an editor
(insert a snigger); two alternatives:
1. it might make a parrot think twice,
2. a smile so awkward that it makes a parrot think twince...
all depending on the tense.

In the 8th grade
They told us to write about
What we believed
Others wrote about
Hope
Honor
Happiness
Hard work
I wrote about
Death
We had to read them
To the class
Everyone else
Was told
Good job
Well done
Nice work
I was told
That I was
Wrong.

In the 8th grade
They told us
To write an essay
About
Anything
Others wrote about
Cats
Music
Sports
Literature
I wrote about creationism
And why I thought
That it was stupid
We had to read them
To the class
Everyone else was told
Good job
Well done
Nice work
I was told
That I was
Wrong.

sand
cherry blossom
vintage clothing
poem
grass...

You Are These, My Love.

like a fairy
is like a dark-eyed Junco, twitter-pated in snowfall apocalypse
like a painter's palette, engrossed in the notion
of gone from me. like chocolate. a sun down
feathering our bed.
like water and thunder
blasting sand
through the blossom
of my cherished -
cherishing.

a
vintage
ache
clothing the naked risk
of my honest poesy.
like the grass roots of joy
fairly gaming the
opaque eye -
of some rara avis-
blinking outside Caravaggio
palette...
a
deep cocoa
of divine waters,
that flood the ludicrous
of your charms
like austerity
is plush

our heart's are vintage clothing

and we must.

what's a metaphor like ? do you simile -
the way I am a valentine ?

or do you
love
me
?

deluge

[ ? ]

Un bœuf, un baudet, un cheval,
Se disputaient la préséance.
Un baudet ! direz-vous, tant d'orgueil lui sied mal.
A qui l'orgueil sied-il ? et qui de nous ne pense
Valoir ceux que le rang, les talents, la naissance,
Elèvent au-dessus de nous ?
Le bœuf, d'un ton modeste et doux,
Alléguait ses nombreux services,
Sa force, sa docilité ;
Le coursier, sa valeur, ses nobles exercices ;
Et l'âne son utilité.
Prenons, dit le cheval, les hommes pour arbitres :
En voici venir trois ; exposons-leur nos titres.
Si deux sont d'un avis, le procès est jugé.
Les trois hommes venus, notre bœuf est chargé
D'être le rapporteur ; il explique l'affaire,
Et demande le jugement.
Un des juges choisis, maquignon bas-normand,
Crie aussitôt : La chose est claire,
Le cheval a gagné. Non pas, mon cher confrère,
Dit le second jugeur ; c'était un gros meunier ;
L'âne doit marcher le premier :
Tout autre avis serait d'une injustice extrême.
Oh ! que nenni, dit le troisième,
Fermier de sa paroisse et riche laboureur,
Au bœuf appartient cet honneur.
Quoi ! reprend le coursier, écumant de colère,
Votre avis n'est dicté que par votre intérêt ?
Eh mais ! dit le Normand, par quoi donc, s'il vous plaît ?
N'est-ce pas le code ordinaire ?

Copious amounts of lava
seeping over the table
steaming mugs of java
cutting off the cable.

Rara Avis is a Latin term
no sneakers for me today
eaten by the Conqueror Worm
during the month of May.

******* drugs
and Sugar Twin
white punk thugs
chasing Rin-Tin-Tin.

Rainbows of black
babies howling out loud
guerilla attacks
a huge raver crowd.

Windshield wipers
with ribbons attached
little sticky diapers
and gates made of thatch.

Alphagetti monsters
smoking a jay
card-carrying punsters
greasy burgers on a tray.

Cute cotton *******
on lithe little nymphs
disappearing shanties
owned by drugged-up pimps.

Rhymes gone bad
a little cash in my pocket
hanging at the pad
and watching Davy Crockett.

People eating doughnuts
***** up on the beaches
hips that do the low strut
and blood ******* leeches.

It all comes down
to a single final thought:
was the Queen's big crown
really traded for a ***?

Enfin le roi lion venait d'avoir un fils ;
Partout dans ses états on se livrait en proie
Aux transports éclatants d'une bruyante joie :
Les rois heureux ont tant d'amis !
Sire lion, monarque sage,
Songeait à confier son enfant bien aimé
Aux soins d'un gouverneur vertueux, estimé,
Sous qui le lionceau fît son apprentissage.
Vous jugez qu'un choix pareil
Est d'assez grande importance
Pour que longtemps on y pense.
Le monarque indécis assemble son conseil :
En peu de mots il expose
Le point dont il s'agit, et supplie instamment
Chacun des conseillers de nommer franchement
Celui qu'en conscience il croit propre à la chose.
Le tigre se leva : sire, dit-il, les rois
N'ont de grandeur que par la guerre ;
Il faut que votre fils soit l'effroi de la terre :
Faites donc tomber votre choix
Sur le guerrier le plus terrible,
Le plus craint après vous des hôtes de ces bois.
Votre fils saura tout s'il sait être invincible.
L'ours fut de cet avis : il ajouta pourtant
Qu'il fallait un guerrier prudent,
Un animal de poids, de qui l'expérience
Du jeune lionceau sût régler la vaillance
Et mettre à profit ses exploits.
Après l'ours, le renard s'explique,
Et soutient que la politique
Est le premier talent des rois ;
Qu'il faut donc un mentor d'une finesse extrême
Pour instruire le prince et pour le bien former.
Ainsi chacun, sans se nommer,
Clairement s'indiqua soi-même :
De semblables conseils sont communs à la cour.
Enfin le chien parle à son tour :
Sire, dit-il, je sais qu'il faut faire la guerre,
Mais je crois qu'un bon roi ne la fait qu'à regret ;
L'art de tromper ne me plaît guère :
Je connais un plus beau secret
Pour rendre heureux l'état, pour en être le père,
Pour tenir ses sujets, sans trop les alarmer,
Dans une dépendance entière ;
Ce secret, c'est de les aimer.
Voilà pour bien régner la science suprême ;
Et, si vous désirez la voir dans votre fils,
Sire, montrez-la lui vous-même.
Tout le conseil resta muet à cet avis.
Le lion court au chien : ami, je te confie
Le bonheur de l'état et celui de ma vie ;
Prends mon fils, sois son maître, et, **** de tout flatteur,
S'il se peut, va former son cœur.
Il dit, et le chien part avec le jeune prince.
D'abord à son pupille il persuade bien
Qu'il n'est point lionceau, qu'il n'est qu'un pauvre
Chien,
Son parent éloigné ; de province en province
Il le fait voyager, montrant à ses regards
Les abus du pouvoir, des peuples la misère,
Les lièvres, les lapins mangés par les renards,
Les moutons par les loups, les cerfs par la panthère,
Partout le faible terrassé,
Le bœuf travaillant sans salaire,
Et le singe récompensé.
Le jeune lionceau frémissait de colère :
Mon père, disait-il, de pareils attentats
Sont-ils connus du roi ? Comment pourraient-ils l'être ?
Disait le chien : les grands approchent seuls du maître,
Et les mangés ne parlent pas.
Ainsi, sans raisonner de vertu, de prudence,
Notre jeune lion devenait tous les jours
Vertueux et prudent ; car c'est l'expérience
Qui corrige, et non les discours.
À cette bonne école il acquit avec l'âge
Sagesse, esprit, force et raison.
Que lui fallait-il davantage ?
Il ignorait pourtant encor qu'il fût lion ;
Lorsqu'un jour qu'il parlait de sa reconnaissance
À son maître, à son bienfaiteur,
Un tigre furieux, d'une énorme grandeur,
Paraissant tout-à-coup, contre le chien s'avance.
Le lionceau plus prompt s'élance,
Il hérisse ses crins, il rugit de fureur,
Bat ses flancs de sa queue, et ses griffes sanglantes
Ont bientôt dispersé les entrailles fumantes
De son redoutable ennemi.
À peine il est vainqueur qu'il court à son ami :
Oh ! Quel bonheur pour moi d'avoir sauvé ta vie !
Mais quel est mon étonnement !
Sais-tu que l'amitié, dans cet heureux moment,
M'a donné d'un lion la force et la furie ?
Vous l'êtes, mon cher fils, oui, vous êtes mon roi,
Dit le chien tout baigné de larmes.
Le voilà donc venu, ce moment plein de charmes,
Où, vous rendant enfin tout ce que je vous dois,
Je peux vous dévoiler un important mystère !
Retournons à la cour, mes travaux sont finis.
Cher prince, malgré moi cependant je gémis,
Je pleure ; pardonnez : tout l'état trouve un père,
Et moi je vais perdre mon fils.

Ce texte est une traduction de Pierre Corneille d'une œuvre
anonyme de piété chrétienne de la fin du XIVe ou début du XVe s.

(Que la vérité parle au dedans du coeur sans aucun bruit de paroles.)

Parle, parle, Seigneur, ton serviteur écoute :
Je dis ton serviteur, car enfin je le suis ;
Je le suis, je veux l'être, et marcher dans ta route
Et les jours et les nuits.

Remplis-moi d'un esprit qui me fasse comprendre
Ce qu'ordonnent de moi tes saintes volontés,
Et réduis mes désirs au seul désir d'entendre
Tes hautes vérités.

Mais désarme d'éclairs ta divine éloquence ;
Fais-la couler sans bruit au milieu de mon coeur
Qu'elle ait de la rosée et la vive abondance
Et l'aimable douceur.

Vous la craigniez, Hébreux, vous croyiez que la foudre,
Que la mort la suivît et dût tout désoler,
Vous qui dans le désert ne pouviez vous résoudre
A l'entendre parler.

" Parle-nous, parle-nous, disiez-vous à Moïse,
Mais obtiens du Seigneur qu'il ne nous parle pas ;
Des éclats de sa voix la tonnante surprise
Serait notre trépas. "

Je n'ai point ces frayeurs alors que je te prie ;
Je te fais d'autres voeux que ces fils d'Israël,  
Et plein de confiance, humblement je m'écrie
Avec ton Samuel :

" Quoi que tu sois le seul qu'ici-bas je redoute,
C'est toi seul qu'ici-bas je souhaite d'ouïr :
Parle donc, ô mon Dieu ! ton serviteur écoute,
Et te veut obéir. "

Je ne veux ni Moïse à m'enseigner tes voies,
Ni quelque autre prophète à m'expliquer tes lois ;
C'est toi qui les instruis, c'est toi qui les envois,
Dont je cherche la voix.

Comme c'est de toi seul qu'ils ont tous ces lumières
Dont la grâce par eux éclaire notre foi,
Tu peux bien sans eux tous me les donner entières,
Mais eux tous rien sans toi.

Ils peuvent répéter le son de tes paroles,
Mais il n'est pas en eux d'en conférer l'esprit,
Et leurs discours sans toi passent pour si frivoles
Que souvent on en rit.

Qu'ils parlent hautement, qu'ils disent des merveilles,
Qu'ils déclarent ton ordre avec pleine vigueur :
Si tu ne parles point, ils frappent les oreilles
Sans émouvoir le coeur.

Ils sèment la parole obscure, simple et nue ;
Mais dans l'obscurité tu rends l'oeil clairvoyant,
Et joins du haut du ciel à la lettre qui tue
L'esprit vivifiant.

Leur bouche sous l'énigme annonce le mystère,
Mais tu nous en fais voir le sens le plus caché ;
Ils nous prêchent tes lois, mais ton secours fait faire
Tout ce qu'ils ont prêché,

Ils montrent le chemin, mais tu donnes la force
D'y porter tous nos pas, d'y marcher jusqu'au bout ;
Et tout ce qui vient d'eux ne passe point l'écorce,
Mais tu pénètres tout.

Ils n'arrosent sans toi que les dehors de l'âme,
Mais sa fécondité veut ton bras souverain ;
Et tout ce qui l'éclaire, et tout ce qui l'enflamme
Ne part que de ta main.

Ces prophètes en fin ont beau crier et dire,
Ce ne sont que des voix, ce ne sont que des cris,
Si pour en profiter l'esprit qui les inspire
Ne touche nos esprits.

Silence donc, Moïse ! et toi, parle en sa place,
Eternelle, immuable, immense vérité :
Parle, que je ne meure enfoncé dans la glace
De ma stérilité.

C'est mourir en effet, qu'à ta faveur céleste
Ne rendre point pour fruit des désirs plus ardents ;
Et l'avis du dehors n'a rien que de funeste
S'il n'échauffe au dedans.

Cet avis écouté seulement par caprice,
Connu sans être aimé, cru sans être observé,
C'est ce qui vraiment tue, et sur quoi ta justice
Condamne un réprouvé.

Parle donc, ô mon Dieu ! ton serviteur fidèle
Pour écouter ta voix réunit tous ses sens,
Et trouve les douceurs de la vie éternelle
En ses divins accents.

Parle pour consoler mon âme inquiétée ;
Parle pour la conduire à quelque amendement ;
Parle, afin que ta gloire ainsi plus exaltée
Croisse éternellement.

Les ondes de la mer me caressent doucement.
Je me sens si heureux chaque seconde de mon être
Et j’oublie mes chagrins si divers légèrement.
Tout ce qu’on veut maintenant est s’unir aux belles-lettres
En quoi notre destin fut écrit autrefois,
Où les chemins de la vie sont toujours dégagés
Et nous sommes libérés des regrets, des outrages
Qui empêchent notre envie de partout voyager.
Nous manquons seulement de courage de fuir -
De nos craintes, vexations, amertumes et avis...
En étant caressés par les ondes de la mer
Commençons de nouveau: nouveau seuil de la vie.

Sonnet.

C'est mon avis qu'en route on s'expose à la pluie,
Au vent, à la poussière, et qu'on peut, le matin,
S'éveiller chiffonnée avec un mauvais teint,
Et qu'à la longue, en poste, un tête-à-tête ennuie.

C'est mon avis qu'au monde il n'est pire folie
Que d'embarquer l'amour pour un pays lointain.
Quoi qu'en dise Héloïse ou madame Collin.
Dans un miroir d'auberge on n'est jamais jolie.

C'est mon avis qu'en somme un bas blanc bien tiré,
Sur une robe blanche un beau ruban moiré,
Et des ongles bien nets, sont le bonheur suprême.

Que dites-vous, madame, à ce raisonnement ?
Un point, à ce sujet, m'étonne seulement ;
C'est qu'on n'a pas le temps d'y penser quand on aime.

.and i wrote this... back in January of... perhaps this year... a disclaimer: bones and prose... to have reached a traction of nearing 1.4K readers elsewhere: i don't expect the same numbers here... of that i am imploring... but i want to remember something: i probably misjudged celebrating the worth of Dickens' Pickwick Papers... the moment i heard it was... an imitation of Don Quixote - it was fun to read... before i was reading the papers via the gresham publishing company edition from... oh the 19th century... that's before the book started falling apart from actually being re(a)d: no matter the decency of binding... flimsy papyrus in the end... good enough to look at when stacked on a shelf and an artifact for the eyes... so i decided to finish reading the papers... 2nd hand penguin modern... as ever... why do they write these synopsis spoilers... even a mere allusion to: 'the pickwick papers are the english don quixote'... you know... when reading this book without a synopsis-of-allusion... i very much enjoyed it... but since i have re(a)d Don Quixote... and... frankly... the ballet by the royal opera house was par excellence... now i don't feel so inclined as to be motivated enough to celebrate Dickens anymore... notably to boot there was that essay by Milan Kundera.... as any continental european: not much of english literary adventures is given much thought: it appeal to the everyman but... that's my problem too... Shakespeare is great... when recited... not when read... you require good acting to appreciate shakespeare... a stand-alone dynamic of me: reader of Shakespeare? it's not a selling point... it doesn't feel right! shakespeare? isn't that a household noun akin to chair... hammer... why would it need a capital S(igma): to focus on... what... exactly? shakespeare, hammer, nail, towel... fridge-freezer... fork... muhammad ibn abdullah ibn abd al-muttalib... hey-zeus ben josephus... flour... cheese... i was going to enjoy the pickwick papers to the end but then the disclaimer that it's an imitation don quixote tale... and suddenly the fire - of eagerness... became a stalemate of cinders and stealthy coals... no, clearly the milan kundera essay didn't help either: who would want to reread don quixote: i know some people do reread books... i don't understand my grandmother in that respect... or... i remember when it school we were governed by repetitions of rubric... i hope: prose is where allowances for voyeurism / exhibitionism come to the fore... third party details summoned... that sort of "thing"... but of course i wanted something original to come to the fore... a proverb... it might be persian but it might be absolutely original from circa the baltic region: in between all that's west and russia... a corridor of peoples and nations that... given the greenwich mean time would have to incorporate Greece... and most probably Egypt... and Israel... it reads: all in capital to escape this myopia claustrophobia fudge of paragraph: BETTER A SPARROW IN YOUR HAND, THAN A DOVE UPON YOUR ROOF... years later a proverb would have to be disguised in cosmopolitan spreschen by some "****" of a bachelor... with his 'categorical imperative'... ah... a proverb isn't... that? i like the nuances of proverbs... blindly walking to metaphors... or not expecting a rigidity of life dictated by the already creasing formality language tools: dear sir, yours faithfully vs. yours sincerely... ms. vrs. mrs. informally email: hello! ****-wit! rather than... penned to paper and carrier pigeon bound... stamp! stamp! lick! dear... besides... as you get older and drinking is still a quenching of "thirst" you allude to nicknames for certain spirits: ***** becomes a headache of pravda (truth) while whiskey becomes ms. amber... beer is notoriously gods' ****... along with cider and mead... etc. what is a black cracovite... oh... you know... just an alternative to a tequila shot i invented hearing the story about... once upon a time in cracow... it was snowing... it was snowing a soot-esque sort of snow... the lonely chimney of aushwitz... wa puffing up in all its glory... in english it can translate to: well... what haven't i to thank for... or the jews... to thank for... that these lands are the remains of... at least children might be inclined to play games at the foundation of pyramids... we sure as hell did... near Ypres... in world war I trenches... i can't imagine what games children might invent in these... teutonic strongholds of totenkopfschwatzen... i would gladly send each brick by brick to the rightful owners of these camps: 1000 years from now it might be disguided that... under the auspicious rule of king Casimir's ghost these were "our" original intent... it ruins the land but preserves the memory of a people more invested in a newly established state of the Levant... yes... i need to figure out the paragraph: i need to revisit it more often: this slender-manning of a verse esque casccade doesn't aid me: i need to replica congestion and myopia and all that's cosmopolitan "nice"... what is a black cracovite... for years i wanted to land in the old capital when visit my grandparents... warsaw was always too far removed... like london already is... back toward glorifying Cracow and some elder supreme of the Piast dynasty... that this is written in english and not in native... well... it shouldn't have been written by an englishman with all his darwinistic / anglican / atheistic / rational / ayn rand borrowed sensibilities... a black cracovite as far as i can tell is... a spin on a tequila short... one requires smoking a cigarette... the ash is deposited on a licked space between the thumb and index finger... the ash is licked... a shot of ***** is made ready... what replaces the bite of a lemon is a grit of black pepper... yes... i have to invest in a paragraph more: for all its congestive phalanx remedies: i posit this the most redeeming: remedying... closure... it's far removed from airing out grievances when words cascade... now i should have concerns for contending... imitations... cheap-sell-offs of these words... outlandishly left to the open cringe of... simply-leash: i'll probably trail off on a ***-note, a falsetto... absolutely necessary... one cannot feed too many expectations without feeding those necessarily in pursuit of sustenance... be gone! countess bathory-veneer!

this is truly a welcome break from:

freeing all the drafts -
which i imagined to be equivalent, or rather:
the 2nd parallel of the original adjecent -

i imagined it would feel like:
releasing doves with laurel branches firmly
lodged in their beaks -
just as the waters of the flood would recede...

but it truly felt like:
the inversion of the diarrhoea-constipation
"paradox"... because it felt like both,
but never giving me a clue as to
what was more prominent -

the sharp edge of a knife -
or the horizon when the sky becomes
the sea far away....

i'm not ashamed to throw this onto the fore...
it happened to me once...
but on purpose...
i wanted to compensate marquis de sade's
antic in a brothel when he implored
the ******* to turn the crucifix into
a ***** into his decapitated precursor
of a mary antoinette... puppet...

profanity in images and all the other seances
of the senses...
i wouldn't go as far as to make the crucifix
profane... or do anything profane
with it...

only the words...
hic (est) mea corpus - hic (est) mea cruor...
this is my body - this is my blood...
and i am aware the mead is the gods' ****
when they're in a good mood - all... jolly...
and that beer is the gods' **** when
laughter hits a dry run...
and that ms. amber or whiskey is but:
the blood of the gods...

i had to corrupt it...
to prove to myself: that i am not a god...
it was quiet simple...
once upon a time i was drinking
a glass of wine...
and as you do... on a whim...
i decided to **** into it...
perhaps all that drinking prior would
give me something to elevate the palette
of exploration that was to come...

hmm... at least that sorts out
hic: mea cruor... *** urinae...
but back then i did that on purpose...
and if only this was a desert scenario...
and i would have to drink my own *****
to survive...
well... i just thought: here's to starving
from a lack of better imagery...

i will come unto some Horace in a minute...
i don't know how i managed to find
this citation - it's only very losely related...
and yes i will showcase another draft from
May of last year...

but today i was unsure...
did i leave yesterday's pepsi max bottle
with only the stale pepsi left...
or did i forget to do the lazy sly wee whizz
jumping out of bed in the middle of
the night...
but i already poured this "cocktail"
over two shots of whiskey...
and i'm hardly desperate but...
my original intention of alligning myself
to the profanity of the crucifix...
i had to somehow make profanity
of the wine...

since i am... thinking how to compensate
being satisfied with wine...
how the ancient world was always
satisfied with wine...
the story of the 3 ambers of the north...
the beer, the mead and the whiskey...
all in a varying degree...
but i will not bow before the blood of a god
that's so... diluted...
whiskey yes... that can be blood indeed...
otherwise it's down in the trench
with gods' **** - mead if they are in a good
mood... beer if they are in a talkative mood...

thank god i wasn't thinking:
better salvage those two shots of whiskey
and drink this cocktail of the "ultimate" surprise...
and apparently eating a woman's
placenta is good for you...
as was... apparently once... breastmilk...
funny... give me the milk of a cow or a goat
and i'll show you: one dislocated thumb...
one dislocated distal + intermediate phalange
from the index finger of the right hand's
proximal phalange... no broken bones...

knock-knock... who's there? touchwood superstition.

it's not as bad as it sounds...
stale, yes...
but i am also known for sometimes
performing the antithesis of drinking tequilla...
*****... i'll sprinkle some cigarette ash
onto my hand... lick it... take a shot of *****
then throw one or two black peppercorns into
my mouth for the crunch...
each drinker and his own myths... right?
i call that the black cracovite...
cracow being so close to aushwitz...
and once it snowed and they thought it was
snowing... sure... ash from the furnaces
of aushwitz... here's my ode to... the dead...
in a drink...

hell better a cracovite than a cracowite, white?
i mean: right? seriously: low hanging fruit,
the elephant's testicles...

i will never understand this whole veneration
of wine: in vino veritas...
these days wine is better drank by women
and castrated monarchs of the clergy...
i had to check... so i ****** in my holy grail...
and guess what didn't come out
the other end? gods' **** (beer and wine)
or gods' blood (whiskey and wine)...
just this stale, almost bland...
water with a pinch of grape that has been
left to sit in a puddle on some
industrial estate in dagenham enjoying
the ripe downpouring of chemicals
that leave it with a rainbow of diluted
petroleum...

akin to: try shoving that sort of doughnut
into this kind of pile of ****...
not that i would...
but i have also been prone to test
99.9% spirits... or 96% absinthe...
with a locust mummified in the bottle's neck...
from Amsterdam...

i had to rethink: why become engaged...
when chances are...
to the displeasure of someone who read:
but never bought my work...
the self-editorial process...
the self-publishing process could be...
guillotined on a whimsical constipation
of a "dear reader"...
as it might happen...

again... Horace and the perfect example
of poetry with conversational overtones...
poetry as prosaic...
my god... paper was expensive back in old
Horace's days... surely you would need
something spectacular to write:
like a psilocybin trip account word for word:
wrong!
a certain don juan said to a certain
carlos castaneda: don't bring back words from
such experiences...
but of course: they did...
upon once upon a time loving the beatniks...
i started to abhor them...
getting drunk and smoking "something"
is one thing... exposing the altars of solipsism
of such experiences: words intact...
is a profanity...
each dream is individually curated
to the dreamer... the introduction of words
to relate back... for some next be disciple...
the "drugs" / portals of escapism are already
contaminated...

why wouldn't i: even if these are only
objective recounts of an experience?
perhaps because... they are subjectivelly null...
there are only the comparable heights of Gideon...
such experiences are best: kept to each individual's
right to enjoy... a freedom of thought...
and of silence...
each keeps a secret...
but what secret is left?
when the objective parameters have already
been stated?
i see no point... better down and finding
it at the end of a bottle...
or... ******* into a glass of wine
and drinking it...

they have been contaminated by words that
have been retrieved from such experiences
that (a) no one should talk about...
(b) surprise! the objective reality already
being stated as altered...
am i going to a ******* cinema with my body...
or am i going to a surprise
gallery with my thought?
doesn't matter... word contamination...
bigmouth struck his final last time!
at least the remains is what gives me
the labyrinth... the blood the **** you name
it the three sisters amber... for all i care...
it's readily available: make do...
with what's already been given.

me? i drink for that very special date...
monday 9 march 2020...
when all the orthodox jews get drunk...
that's one of those celebrations i wouldn't mind
being a part of... purim, festival of Lots,
funny... that period of history...
the Persian aspect of the hebrews...
never made it to the big screen...
seeing modern day Iran as day-old Persia
in muslim garbs...
we're still only seeing the: African adventure...
perhaps once the dust has settled...
we will get the Persian installement...
and then... oh... **** it...
we're all in it for the long run...
then when christianity is no longer useful...
the Roman bit of history...
and how the hebrews conspired with the greeks...
2000 years later we'll probably see
some prince of egypt cartoon movie
of the pristine romance and a mention of germany...
not yet... ****'s still to ripe to entertain
the universal child and children...
no screen adaptation from "their" time in Persia...
songs... we have songs!
Verdi's Nabucco - the chorus...
perhaps only in song from Persia and always
with movies and hieroglyphs when from Egypt...

but the festivity... of course! i'll celebrate...
cf. though... Puccini's coro a bocca chiusa -
the humming chorus...
before the band enigma... i am pretty sure my mother
would crank up the volume to at least
one of these songs... should they come on the radio...
i'm still to hear christopher young's:
something to think about - to be on air...
and to also be treated as a piece of classical music...
if wojciech kilar's dracula soundtrack can be treated
as classical music... what's wrong with a little
bit of hellraiser?!

perhaps, "again" is this desecration of the sacred not,
simply hanging in the background,
all, the, ******, time?
who is to celebrate wine giving it a god's blood
status in sips? one is expected to somehow become
drunk on the passion!
no one is here for crumbs of sips!
first they came for the loaf of bread...
and said you should fast and eat only a crumb...
then they came for the bottle of wine...
and said you should abstain and drink only a sip...
then they came for *** and by then
vatican was a monaco with better tax protections...

it's an investement: having to **** into a glass
of wine you're about to drink...
worse... you accidently "forgot" about
******* into some left-over pepsi max
and you're making yourself a cocktail
with one of the graeae ambers - 2x -
and you wonder: is this the proper state
of carbonated water, stale?
but i'm hardly going to bash the crucifix...
i'm here for the words...

the... transfiguration of the wine into blood...
and i say of my gods:
and here is their **** - beer and mead...
and here's their blood: the three graeae ms. ambers...
see no: clearer? no... happier?

i will get onto ancient roman poetics
with its conversational overtones in a minute!
first we have to settle the sacraments!
the metaphors and the sacraments!
i have no ivar the boneless claim of god...
season 6? to be honest...
i'd rather watch an english soap opera...
at least the intricacy of the plot remains...
even though it has been recycled
so many times...

i can't **** out the gods' ***** even if it was
stale beer... or ideal mead...
as i can't leisure a Seneca's bath filled
with the blood of the immortals...
problem solved... "problem":
as if it ever was...

why, Horace? a very short rhetorical retort:
if Dante had his Virgil...
why can i have my Horace, as guide?
again... what Roman poet could venture for
ambitions among the myths -
or extend his "consciousness"
to devastate the land and become
the mad Xerxes wanting the waves
of a sea whipped into submission?
why, Horace? if Dante could have his Virgil...

poetry... at least among the roman poets
there's no boxed in a box "without" a "box"...
the conversational overtones are ripe...
the almost complete lack of
character dimensions... beside their dimensions
from anecdotes...

to difuse wine, to desecrate the hic mea cruor...
**** in it!
then drink it...
or have one of my antithesis of a tequilla surprise
with me...
smoke a cigarette... drop some ash on the lick-part
of the space between the thumb
and the index metacarpal... lick it...
follow it with a shot of *****...
then throw some black peppercorns
into the hades of your gob
and we've arrived at the black cracovite...

and also the day when the orthodox jews
recant their story of their time
in Persia... the festivity of Lots...
when they become blind drunk and pretend to
have the sort of alcohol intolerence as
the Japanese... 1 shot! just 1 shot:
and hey! they throw their kippahs in
the air and we can all dance the ukranian 'opak!

looks good to me!
but only looks good...
when there's this plump drunk playing the accordion:
i.e. me,
and there's the sort of adrew rieu directing
an upcoming crescendo of a poliushko polie...
and we can all leave the auditorium
feeling, less than russophobic...
and then i can be told...
you young to be old yet still
profane pan-siberian peasant root!
indo-european leftover!
well... at least then i have been allowed
the scrap i'm supposed to see
before i showcase my *****, frost riddled fangs!
of the lesser wolf that i am:
as a rabid dog!

since the crescendo will come...
what better fathom of it...
esp. just beside a cemetery... twirling to the music...
ear-plugs out seancing my time in a grand
orchestral hall... plucked from the ears...
the crescendo is coming...
but... plucked... the orchestra of buffalo-sized
snowflakes... and... the worst kind of ballet...
a male soloist... doing his crazy
ukranian folk... maestro! the music never ever
dies! even in the silence of the universe!
however micro- or macro- this theatre will take
form... the music remains playing: uninterrupted!

but the snow was there,
the "ballerina" was also there...
the night was there,
the music was there -
albeit no grand orchestral hall -
couldn't ask for a better canvas
than a cemetery -
and all the heart's content!
comparative "literature"
to love like a muslim...
or to love like a sparrow...
or to love with a grudge like a crow...
mind you; site note...
i have been many a pigeons attempt
fornication unabashed...
i've never seen two crows attempt it...
perhaps they do "it" in the night
and never in the open?

crows... pedantic priests of the kingdom...
and where the widower king
and the widow queen among the swans?
where i and you will have probably left them...
admiring a family of ducks...

as asked by the serpent of the swan...
you and me of the same birth in a Fabergé egg...
me with serpentine spine...
while you: with a crooked neck?
silly... it really is...
of a being.... that was once
a t-rex roar... now a pickled brain
in pickle jar... boasting about being...
pure spine and tingles and...
the better part of what... becomes the mammalian
hibernation...
hibernating "hibernating" upon the
impetus of digestion...
a serpent would ask a swan about
a crooked neck?

because what would a **** sapeins look toward,
as he is always prone to to look elsewhere?
if not to borrow the fixed, rigid ontology
of other animals?
i better from the birds, solely...
the swans and the crows...
perhaps the fox...
rarely something that has lent itself
to being curated by man's leash and grip...
collective the known herd...
otherwise the refined bonsai tigers...
perhaps the fish without a knowledge
of a tide or a wave...

i call a dog the noble friend,
the swan the sombre monogamist...
the crow the priest...
the furry spider one's own reflection
dealing with aracnophobia...
the snake the old "say-what?"
or that pickled spine with a brain
the worth of brine juices...
the extinguished remnant
of a dinosaur's toothache... or some
transcendental exploration
of the carpals of the wrist
extending into the length of a spine...

i'm not going to cry over this one...
skål!
i feel disinhibited from writing a memorandum!
slàinte!
gasoline to the peddle and... off... we, go!

i am bound to get this translaton right...
at some point of hinging-on... i.e. beginning with...
and most probably at the opposite end
of having to finish...
hence "open bracket"... prefix-
and -suffix allowance given the archeological
excavation began with:

-seu pila velox molliter austerum studio
fallente laborem, seu te discus agit, pete cedentem
aera disco: *** labor extuderit fastidia, siccus,
inanis sperne cibum vilem; nisi Hymettia mella
Falerno ne biberis diluta. foris est promus,
et atrum defendens piscis hiemat mare: *** sale
panis latrantem stomachum bene leniet. unde putas
aut qui partum? non in caro nidore voluptas summa,
sed in te ipso est. tu pulmentaria quaere
sudando: pinguem vitiis albumque neque ostrea
nec scarus aut poterit peregrina iuvare lagois.
vix tamen eripiam, posito pavone velis quin
hoc potius quam gallina tergere palatum,
corruptus vanis rerum, quia veneat auro
rara avis et picta pandat spectcula cauda:
tamquam ad rem attineat quidquam.
num vesceris ista, quam laudas, pluma?
cocto num adest honor idem?
carne tamen quamvis distat nil, hac magis illam
inparibus formis deceptum te petere esto:
unde datum sentis, lupus hic Tiberinus
an alto captus hiet? pontisne inter iactatus
an amnis ostia sub Tusci?
laudas, insane, trilibrem mullum,
in singula quem minuas pulmenta necesse est.
ducit te species, video: quo pertinet ergo proceros
odisse lupos? quia scilicet illis maiorem natura modum
dedit, his breve pondus: ieiunus raro stomachus volgaria
-temnit.

it's translated, isn't it? no
stefan gołębiewski or no 1980 warsaw...
is to know...

- nec meus hic sermo est, sed quae praecepit Ofellus:
these are not my words, this said the simpleton
Ofellus - neither of which of us is a laurel-leaf
adorned Orpheus...

that via a living "game": stoking up an appetite
with this entertainment the appetite increaes...
as does one health...

sorry... pagans... bloodthirty people...
trouble with the translation...
apparently the mud slinging
***** and bricks are nothing new...

or when you "minus" the disk,
litter the distance, head with the wind into
competition!
after hardships of the body is good and
the meal is simple -
(apparently all of this is still "connected",
scratch of the ol' 'ed and we're fine...
we're ******* sailing!)
Falern will not hurt "us"...
seasoned by honey from Hymettis,
before the entré. Safaz left,
the sea rumbles, the zephyr of fish it protects,
storm, fishing made unsafe;
stomach grumbles, bread with salt:
excuisite; you do not have any better! why?
taste does not reside in the scent of dishes,
but in your self alone.
toil merely increases appetite's presence.
he who over-eats, will not know the taste
of an oyster, nor a turbot, nor chickpeas,
the northern bird.
perceptions take the scalp of the mountain
above the actual taste of the dishes
(one might scalp... but never eat the scalp)...
you will not take a chicken onto a tooth,
when you are given a peacock,
you will trust your delusion:
a rare bird, worth its own weight of gold,
a most rarified tail, how it sparkles
with subtle hues!
as if the tail were to lead -
and there was no head to be found!
do you allow yourself to judge the hue
of the feathers as precursor for the adjecctive:
that's it's "also" tasty? the meat, of course?
the old - judge a book by its cover...
is the oven baked... also as delicious / beautiful?
chicken meat... or peacock meat?
almost without difference.
therefore: light... albeit...
although only vanity lures the peacock
(to be compared to a poultry)...
let's go further... i want to know: after what
do you recognise this, that a pike
with its gaping mouth was left:
from the sea... or from the Tiber fished?
somewhere among bridges... or from some
conrete estuary? idiot-kin of the surname whim...
you admire a three-pound mullet!
do you take size... for the gauge of all measure?
when you... cut the bell?
then why... why... with disgrace
do you demand in appreciation:
elongating pikes!
evidently nature: this greater gave the proper
measure... and with it: the lesser weight -
an empty stomach will rarely -
being fed a simple thing - despise -
what is...

an empty stomach - rarely despises -
simple matters.

how true... i was allowing myself the time
it would take to drink,
and translate into the vulgate...
but... from no better source...
and i am still to add to this one of my...
"freeing of the drafts"...

as promised...
"draft"...

- a most confiscated man -
no italics included...

.the original draft:

binges, worth the count
of a liter of whiskey
per night,
for a year, if not more...
become so...
so unspectular...

          the world either
screams, or yawns,
generally:
it exhaust a desire
to toss a coin,
agitate the vocab.,

a grand canyon
huddling
in the "depths" of
a glass of water...

baron science
comes with his rubric
of bore,
      and:
i find myself,
most idle:
while the world
orientates
itself in keeping
itself busy,
bothersome,
always the prime concern,

the ant-colony coup,
the:
i always find friends
in the orientations
of an empty glass,
but prior to:

i drink
before no altar,
no mirror,
no confidante...

    pure flesh revels itself
in a blank's worth
of prior to dictum's
  allowance of, a page...

bothersome
the knot of the pretentious
anti- in scold of
the passing fancy:
expression...

            poker charm
of a love's affair...

_

i sometimes entertain myself
with ancients proverbs,
one slavic proverb reads:
better a sparrow in your hand
than a dove on your roof...

what, could, possibly be,
the interpretation?
care for the small joys in
your possession,
than, for the peace of your household,
which is, on the roof,
but not in your hands...

if i were paid? would i be more
honest?
probably not...
        what i see, is what needs
to be seen...
  em... simple pleasures talk...
once upon a time,
donning long hair, implied
you were a mosher...
a metal-head...
    now? three days +,
long hair, and you're not a
grunge fanatic?
  trans-, etc.?

  a man of simple pleasures,
i know what long hair,
jealousy, associated with
putting it in a french braid,
does to a camel jockey ego...
ruins and ruins as far as the eyes
can see...
    he replicates...
he grows his hair long...
at the same time boasting about
haivng a premature beard...
then you grow a beard yourself...
you start fiddling with it...
****, ***** on my face...
and then...
the "question" of a girlfriend
flies out of the window...
i'm happy with a beard,
thank you, very much,
i don't, exactly want to wish upon
myself, a female, company...

*** protest all you want...
the *** differences between men
and women, to my sort of understanding,
are, unrepairable...
    they were, never,
bound, to being, repaired...
savvy?
            i take my route,
a woman took her route...
  we're even...
              
      since what can only frighten a freed
woman, beside a monarch,
a free man?
                  a man with...
a gamble...
        i am a man with a gamble...
i don't like being told what
to be, or what to think...
like any man,
and like any man:
i don't like being forced
ownership over a being:
that can share my sense of freedom...
so...
    i find myself,
thrilled with relief,
at now having to answer to
a woman's subjugation...
like a woman, and, i have learned
from women: i like being
my objective's self...
rather than a "self" made subject...

i like that: thank you...
i can start feedings the pigs and the peasant
the diatribe life, and lie,
of: there being an existential cricis,
a need to reproduce...
and i, and i am, being demeaning
in this, way, for a justified reason...

once the peasants attack you:
you attack, the peasants...
you demean them in the same way
they demeaned you...

once upon a time i thought:
greater good came from the number
of innocents being salvaged
than for the few great of grand bearing
being salvaged...
even if bound to an ill will:
an ill command,
of a will, predisposed to pretend
actions of the blind...
but now i see...

  the many: if beside fulfilling
their petty deeds,
having to stand outside of those,
petty deeds,
  have ambitions equivalent
to their emotions...
            akin to something worth,
pity, akin to something
worth: as little as a rat's heartbeat...
petty, primitive bull-*******...
and all the amount of sorrow,
or pity,
or mercy...
              that, these, ******* allow...
are worth the same response
Pontius Pilate gave...
      there isn't enough of water,
in this world,
to wash my hands, clean,
of these people...
  even if innocent blood plagues
them,
    not enough waters have run their
due course,
to... release me from the indentation
of memory upon my mind...
and i am plagued by an elephant's
memory...
        we've reached the conclusion
of: some people...
  just do not see an insult,
            past the insult's eloquence!

i am a most conflicted man,
i binge watched vikings
for a while now,
and right now, i'm ready for
an extraction of what i have learned...

believe me: i am not someone
who has the sort of ego-presence
to fate myself in the role
of the protagonist...
    i'm too pedantic to have to
market my body and deeds,
for the fates tio see,
and history to ascribe fame unto me...

even homer was off too war
with troy,
  and blessed he became...

because? time morphs,
the longer something is kept,
the more, "unreal" is becomes,
a fairy-tale...
esp. now, with the onslaught
of journalism...
two things in this world
are insomniac,
money never sleeps,
and, now, apparently,
journalism doesn't sleep either:
well, given its ******
bed-fellow of political liars...
why should it?

            Rolo... a semi-minor character...
but i feel his angst at the already
fervent dichotomy,
(dichotomy, modern variety variant
of schizoid-affective...
or bilingual in turn)...

            music...
                    all these modły...
gesticulations of prayer,
phantom conjuring,
              lunatics with candles
at high-noon...
                  i am fated by music,
i am perverted by music,
i am swayed by music...
who is the god, patron,
of music?
who is the angel (demi-god),
patron of music?
        i do not seek the highest
influencer...
the minor one...

  when Archangel Sandalphon
met St. Cecilia...
but as such, i am, conflicted...
even though, this is the first time
i have heard of Sandalphon...

Rome, never reached my peoples,
the Vikings did...
  weren't the ugly vikings the founders
of Kiev?
  so they must have passed via
the Polen (field) land, no?

feelings are not important,
facts don't care about your feelings...
granted...
but i'm not hear for facts,
contra, feelings,
i'm here for the rivers...
what i feel, what my heart yearns for,
needs to attain an equilibrium
with my mind...
for that: i need to clarify my feelings,
to hush my heart, silence it,
in order to listen to my mind,
and the mind, needs to feed into
heaving the heart: to do,
what, the heart, desires,
autonomous to what the heart
"thinks", is right...
                    that's how it was forver
going to work...
consolidated...
and yes, i much envy the punctuation
of king Ecgberht,
a man of cunning: much admired...
abstract thinker...
        and a reality...
        pun-ctu-a-tion...
the delivery of one's speech...
  much admired, as much as...
                the crude brawl possession...
the chief protagonist of the story?
as important as is: the required from
Atlas... burden upon burden...
a man burdened with the illusion
of freedom...

so why am i conflicted,
but becoming less and less so?
    it was always the music...

songs...

          chavelier, mult estes guariz...
wardruna - helvegen...
          da pacem domine...
            agni parthene...

you know... there's much more beside
being a jazz enthusiast or
a classical music snob...
        there's folk... there's religious and pagan
chants...
if there's one thing to benefit from,
in terms of the Byzantine context...
the chants...
        let the barbarians do the thinking
from now on: you do the sing-along...
no people ever reinvented themselves
from an ancient glory...
  new blood had to come to the fore...

like today...
      i spoke with my father and my mother...
about the names of apples...
we must have talked for an hour,
we named so many lost "breeds" of apple...
nouns i will not write,
nouns i wish death to write down,
i want Samael to have,
beside the book of my deeds in hand,
i want him to have
my dictionary in hand,
my knowledge of the sacred script,
i want to listen as he recites me the words
i've used,
notably today's conversation
            about the many types of apples...
e.g.: shogun apples...
            kox...
                    szare renety...
          papierówki...
                    marabella prunes...
that's all i ask of Samil.

p.s. after completing a walk in the woods:
a walk most adventurous in it being solitary...
i thank the forest for my solitude...
i started knocking on a dry piece of wood
still attached to the earth and roots...
in a forest: knocking on a tree...
i perceived the door
upon re-entering
traffic and hardened grit of road stuff...
let's replicate this...
me... you... alone...
let's both abide by needing
superstitious elevations of:
not truth alone... hardened and dim-witted
by objectivity...
truth tailored with metaphors...
all the nuance we can hope to find...
i need to... aloofness... solitude...
i need you, forest...
more than i care for noon
and proof of body that's this extension:
leash! shadow! noon!

                    smyč! cień! południe!

Je suis jeune, ou c’est ce qu'ils me disent,
Jeunes et capable, sauvage et libre;
Mes os ne craquent pas sous le vent.

Je suis folle, c'est ce qu'ils disent,
Folle de croire vos mots cassés,
Mais vous étiez jeune une fois aussi.

Je suis seule et ils ne manquent jamais d'avis,
Seule, oui, mais jamais trop seule.
La tasse était à moitié pleine quand nous nous sommes rencontrés.

Je suis ce que je me dis:
joyeuse aujourd'hui, envieuse demain,
et en ce moment, juste une fille coincée entre deux.

Que j'aime les héros dont je conte l'histoire !
Et qu'à m'occuper d'eux je trouve de douceur !
J'ignore s'ils pourront m'acquérir de la gloire ;
Mais je sais qu'ils font mon bonheur.
Avec les animaux je veux passer ma vie ;
Ils sont si bonne compagnie !
Je conviens cependant, et c'est avec douleur,
Que tous n'ont pas le même cœur.
Plusieurs que l'on connaît, sans qu'ici je les nomme,
De nos vices ont bonne part :
Mais je les trouve encor moins dangereux que l'homme ;
Et fripon pour fripon je préfère un renard.
C'est ainsi que pensait un sage,
Un bon fermier de mon pays.
Depuis quatre-vingts ans, de tout le voisinage
On venait écouter et suivre ses avis.
Chaque mot qu'il disait était une sentence.
Son exemple surtout aidait son éloquence ;
Et lorsqu'environné de ses quarante enfants,
Fils, petits-fils, brus, gendres, filles,
Il jugeait les procès ou réglait les familles,
Nul n'eût osé mentir devant ses cheveux blancs.
Je me souviens qu'un jour dans son champêtre asile
Il vint un savant de la ville
Qui dit au bon vieillard : mon père, enseignez-moi
Dans quel auteur, dans quel ouvrage,
Vous apprîtes l'art d'être sage.
Chez quelle nation, à la cour de quel roi,
Avez-vous été, comme Ulysse,
Prendre des leçons de justice ?
Suivez-vous de Zénon la rigoureuse loi ?
Avez-vous embrassé la secte d'Épicure,
Celle de Pythagore ou du divin Platon ?
De tous ces messieurs-là je ne sais pas le nom,
Répondit le vieillard : mon livre est la nature ;
Et mon unique précepteur,
C'est mon cœur.
Je vois les animaux, j'y trouve le modèle
Des vertus que je dois chérir :
La colombe m'apprit à devenir fidèle ;
En voyant la fourmi j'amassai pour jouir ;
Mes bœufs m'enseignent la constance,
Mes brebis la douceur, mes chiens la vigilance ;
Et si j'avais besoin d'avis
Pour aimer mes filles, mes fils,
La poule et ses poussins me serviraient d'exemple.
Ainsi dans l'univers tout ce que je contemple
M'avertit d'un devoir qu'il m'est doux de remplir.
Je fais souvent du bien pour avoir du plaisir,
J'aime et je suis aimé, mon âme est tendre et pure,
Et toujours selon ma mesure
Ma raison sait régler mes vœux :
J'observe et je suis la nature,
C'est mon secret pour être heureux.

en at kigge på når jeg vågner søndag morgen
- en der vil tage min hånd og danse rundt med mig
- en at dele de ting der gør mig lykkelig med
- en at dele de ting der gør mig bedrøvet med
- en som vil have et godt forhold til min familie
- en der får tiden til at stoppe i stressede morgner blot ved et kys
- en at tage med ud at se på kunst
- en at diskutere politik og læse avis med
- en som kigger på mig som om jeg var den eneste i verden
- en der ville tage med mig til Paris
- en som vil kysse min nakke blidt i søvne
- en at drikke morgenkaffe og ryge morgensmøger med
- en der kan få mig til at grine når jeg har mindst lyst til det
- en der vil fortælle mig at jeg er en tåbe når jeg opfører mig ligeledes
- en der vil fortælle mig at jeg er kærlig når jeg opfører mig ligeledes
- en at læse mine digte højt for
- en som vil tage med mig på eventyr og ikke være bange
- en der får mig til at føle som den bedste version af mig selv
- en at lytte til lækker musik med
- en at tænke på når man hører dårlige kærlighedssange
- en som tør dele sine tanker og følelser med mig
- en at lytte til
- en at leve for
- en at elske med
- en at kysse på
- en at have tillid til
- en som elsker mig på trods af mine fejl
- en der kan se mine kvaliteter som kvaliteter
- en som syntes at disse ting også er væsentlige

Invincible for the empire roman;
That fury and vengeance was his language;
How Viriathus as vanquish around 200 years;
And lusitânia wasn't clears;

Port du graal was it's the place;
How was hidden the Holy Graal;
The secrets and wars was case;
And raise the Portugal;

The Kingdom for war and conquer ;
Was spoken by a glory Europe;
The spanish, french,english and Dutch ;
Bowed over the mighty Avis Master;

The glory and death of The Empire ;
Was not clear , the kindgom was gone;
The King D.Manuel II wasn't the bel;
But was bare wire;

Know Lusitania is lost;
So high is the cost?;
We never know the reason;
But Iberians gonna be the new season;

Fable V, Livre II.


Plus galant que sensé, Colin voulut jadis
Réunir dans son champ l'agréable à l'utile,
Et cultiver les fleurs au milieu des épis,
Rien n'était, à son gré, plus sage et plus facile.

Parmi les blés, dans la saison,
Il va donc semant à foison
Bluets, coquelicots, et mainte fleur pareille
Qu'on voit égayer nos guérets,
Quand Flore, en passant chez Cérès,
A laissé pencher sa corbeille.
Dans peu, se disait-il, que mon champ sera beau !
Avant l'ample récolte au moissonneur promise,
Que de bouquets pour Suzette, pour Lise,
Pour les fillettes du hameau !
Partant que de baisers ! oui, cadeau pour cadeau ;
Ou rien pour rien, c'est ma devise.

Le doux printemps paraît enfin :
Le bluet naît avec la rose.
En mai, le bonheur de Colin
Faisait envie à maint voisin ;
En août ce fut tout autre chose.
Tandis qu'il n'était pas d'endroits
Où la moisson ne fût certaine ;
Que les trésors de Beauce au **** doraient la plaine,
Et que le laboureur n'avait plus d'autre peine
Que celle de trouver ses greniers trop étroits ;
Trop **** désabusé de ses projets futiles,
D'un œil obscurci par les pleurs,
Colin, dans ses sillons stérilement fertiles,
Cherche en vain les épis étouffés sous les fleurs.

Vous qui dans ses travaux guidez la faible enfance,
Ceci vous regarde, je crois ;
Chez vous, on apprend à la fois
Le latin, la musique, et l'algèbre, et la danse.
C'est trop. Heureusement savons-nous, mes amis,
Que le Rollin du jour n'est pas de cet avis.
Enseigner moins, mais mieux, oui, tel est son système
Colin, vous dit-il sagement,
Ne cultivons que le froment,
Le bluet viendra de lui-même.

Ce n'est donc pas assez ; et de la part des muses,
Ariste, c'est en vers qu'il vous faut des excuses ;
Et la mienne pour vous n'en plaint pas la façon :
Cent vers lui coûtent moins que deux mots de chanson ;
Son feu ne peut agir quand il faut qu'il s'explique
Sur les fantasques airs d'un rêveur de musique,
Et que, pour donner lieu de paraître à sa voix,
De sa bizarre quinte il se fasse des lois ;
Qu'il ait sur chaque ton ses rimes ajustées,
Sur chaque tremblement ses syllabes comptées,
Et qu'une froide pointe à la fin d'un couplet
En dépit de Phébus donne à l'art un soufflet :
Enfin cette prison déplaît à son génie ;
Il ne peut rendre hommage à cette tyrannie ;
Il ne se leurre point d'animer de beaux chants,
Et veut pour se produire avoir la clef des champs.

C'est lors qu'il court d'haleine, et qu'en pleine carrière,
Quittant souvent la terre en quittant la barrière,
Puis, d'un vol élevé se cachant dans les cieux,
Il rit du désespoir de tous ses envieux.
Ce trait est un peu vain, Ariste, je l'avoue ;
Mais faut-il s'étonner d'un poète qui se loue ?

Le Parnasse, autrefois dans la France adoré,
Faisait pour ses mignons un autre âge doré :
Notre fortune enflait du prix de nos caprices,
Et c'était une banque à de bons bénéfices :
Mais elle est épuisée, et les vers à présent
Aux meilleurs du métier n'apportent que du vent ;
Chacun s'en donne à l'aise, et souvent se dispense
A prendre par ses mains toute sa récompense.

Nous nous aimons un peu, c'est notre faible à tous ;
Le prix que nous valons, qui le sait mieux que nous ?
Et puis la mode en est, et la cour l'autorise.
Nous parlons de nous-mêmes avec toute franchise ;
La fausse humilité ne met plus en crédit.  

Je sais ce que je vaux, et crois ce qu'on m'en dit.
Pour me faire admirer je ne fais point de ligue ;
J'ai peu de voix pour moi, mais je les ai sans brigue ;
Et mon ambition, pour faire plus de bruit,
Ne les va point quêter de réduit en réduit ;
Mon travail sans appui monte sur le théâtre ;
Chacun en liberté l'y blâme ou l'idolâtre :
Là, sans que mes amis prêchent leurs sentiments,
J'arrache quelquefois leurs applaudissements ;
Là, content du succès que le mérite donne,
Par d'illustres avis je n'éblouis personne ;
Je satisfais ensemble et peuple et courtisans,
Et mes vers en tous lieux sont mes seuls partisans :
Par leur seule beauté ma plume est estimée :
Je ne dois qu'à moi seul toute ma renommée ;
Et pense toutefois n'avoir point de rival
A qui je fasse tort en le traitant d'égal.

Mais insensiblement je baille ici le change,
Et mon esprit s'égare en sa propre louange ;
Sa douceur me séduit, je m'en laisse abuser,
Et me vante moi-même, au lieu de m'excuser.

Revenons aux chansons que l'amitié demande :
J'ai brûlé fort longtemps d'une amour assez grande,
Et que jusqu'au tombeau je dois bien estimer,
Puisque ce fut par là que j'appris à rimer.
Mon bonheur commença quand mon âme fut prise.
Je gagnais de la gloire en perdant ma franchise.
Charmé de deux beaux yeux, mon vers charma la cour ;
Et ce que j'ai de nom je le dois à l'amour.

J'adorais donc Phylis ; et la secrète estime
Que ce divin esprit faisait de notre rime
Me fit devenir poète aussitôt qu'amoureux :
Elle eut mes premiers vers, elle eut mes premiers feux ;
Et bien que maintenant cette belle inhumaine
Traite mon souvenir avec un peu de haine,
Je me trouve toujours en état de l'aimer ;
Je me sens tout ému quand je l'entends nommer,
Et par le doux effet d'une prompte tendresse
Mon cœur sans mon aveu reconnaît sa maîtresse.

Après beaucoup de vœux et de submissions
Un malheur rompt le cours de nos affections ;
Mais, tout mon amour en elle consommée,
Je ne vois rien d'aimable après l'avoir aimée :
Aussi n'aimais-je plus, et nul objet vainqueur
N'a possédé depuis ma veine ni mon cœur.

Vous le dirai-je, ami ? tant qu'ont duré nos flammes,
Ma muse également chatouillait nos deux âmes :
Elle avait sur la mienne un absolu pouvoir ;
J'aimais à le décrire, elle à le recevoir.
Une voix ravissante, ainsi que son visage,
La faisait appeler le phénix de notre âge ;
Et souvent de sa part je me suis vu presser
Pour avoir de ma main de quoi mieux l'exercer.

Jugez vous-même, Ariste, à cette douce amorce,
Si mon génie était pour épargner sa force :
Cependant mon amour, le père de mes vers,
Le fils du plus bel œil qui fût en l'univers,
A qui désobéir c'était pour moi des crimes,
Jamais en sa faveur n'en put tirer deux rimes :
Tant mon esprit alors, contre moi révolté,
En haine des chansons semblait m'avoir quitté ;
Tant ma veine se trouve aux airs mal assortie,
Tant avec la musique elle a d'antipathie ;
Tant alors de bon cœur elle renonce au jour !
Et l'amitié voudrait ce que n'a pu l'amour !
N'y pensez plus, Ariste ; une telle injustice
Exposerait ma muse à son plus grand supplice.
Laissez-la toujours libre, agir suivant son choix,
Céder à son caprice, et s'en faire des lois.

mana dvēsele man teica,
ka tā jūtas nedaudz iesprostota
tā teica, ka manā ķermenī tai nepietiek vietas
tā laužas ārā
tā cenšas izlauzties brīvībā
tā grib lidot
būt brīva kā putns tālēs zilajās
reizēm ieslēdzot dvēseles mūziku
es zinu, ka tā jūt
tā pazīst savu mūziku
kā gans pazīst savas avis
tad mana dvēsele dejo
tā dejo manā ķermenī
vairs neuztraucoties par vietu,
jo tā jūtas laimīga un pilnīga
laime un pilnība ir salīdzināma ar māju sajūtu
dvēseles mūzika rod šo māju sajūtu
kad nekas netrūkst
esi tikai tu
tavs ķermenis
tava dvēsele
un mūzika
visas šīs lietas saplūst kopā
un tās sauc par
mājām

"On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur."*
Mais, à mon avis, quand j'ai vu quelquechose avec mon cœur,
Quand j'ai décidé
ou j'ai entendu
Les choses devinnent malheureux pour moi.
Pourquoi je choisirais quelquechose
ou quelqu'un
que voulait me blesser?

Depuis qu'Adam, ce cruel homme,
A perdu son fameux jardin,
Où sa femme, autour d'une pomme,
Gambadait sans vertugadin,
Je ne crois pas que sur la terre
Il soit un lieu d'arbres planté
Plus célébré, plus visité,
Mieux fait, plus joli, mieux hanté,
Mieux exercé dans l'art de plaire,
Plus examiné, plus vanté,
Plus décrit, plus lu, plus chanté,
Que l'ennuyeux parc de Versailles.
Ô dieux ! ô bergers ! ô rocailles !
Vieux Satyres, Termes grognons,
Vieux petits ifs en rangs d'oignons,
Ô bassins, quinconces, charmilles !
Boulingrins pleins de majesté,
Où les dimanches, tout l'été,
Bâillent tant d'honnêtes familles !
Fantômes d'empereurs romains,
Pâles nymphes inanimées
Qui tendez aux passants les mains,
Par des jets d'eau tout enrhumées !
Tourniquets d'aimables buissons,
Bosquets tondus où les fauvettes
Cherchent en pleurant leurs chansons,
Où les dieux font tant de façons
Pour vivre à sec dans leurs cuvettes !
Ô marronniers ! n'ayez pas peur ;
Que votre feuillage immobile,
Me sachant versificateur,
N'en demeure pas moins tranquille.
Non, j'en jure par Apollon
Et par tout le sacré vallon,
Par vous, Naïades ébréchées,
Sur trois cailloux si mal couchées,
Par vous, vieux maîtres de ballets,
Faunes dansant sur la verdure,
Par toi-même, auguste palais,
Qu'on n'habite plus qu'en peinture,
Par Neptune, sa fourche au poing,
Non, je ne vous décrirai point.
Je sais trop ce qui vous chagrine ;
De Phoebus je vois les effets :
Ce sont les vers qu'on vous a faits
Qui vous donnent si triste mine.
Tant de sonnets, de madrigaux,
Tant de ballades, de rondeaux,
Où l'on célébrait vos merveilles,
Vous ont assourdi les oreilles,
Et l'on voit bien que vous dormez
Pour avoir été trop rimés.

En ces lieux où l'ennui repose,
Par respect aussi j'ai dormi.
Ce n'était, je crois, qu'à demi :
Je rêvais à quelque autre chose.
Mais vous souvient-il, mon ami,
De ces marches de marbre rose,
En allant à la pièce d'eau
Du côté de l'Orangerie,
À gauche, en sortant du château ?
C'était par là, je le parie,
Que venait le roi sans pareil,
Le soir, au coucher du soleil,
Voir dans la forêt, en silence,
Le jour s'enfuir et se cacher
(Si toutefois en sa présence
Le soleil osait se coucher).
Que ces trois marches sont jolies !
Combien ce marbre est noble et doux !
Maudit soit du ciel, disions-nous,
Le pied qui les aurait salies !
N'est-il pas vrai ? Souvenez-vous.
- Avec quel charme est nuancée
Cette dalle à moitié cassée !
Voyez-vous ces veines d'azur,
Légères, fines et polies,
Courant, sous les roses pâlies,
Dans la blancheur d'un marbre pur ?
Tel, dans le sein robuste et dur
De la Diane chasseresse,
Devait courir un sang divin ;
Telle, et plus froide, est une main
Qui me menait naguère en laisse.
N'allez pas, du reste, oublier
Que ces marches dont j'ai mémoire
Ne sont pas dans cet escalier
Toujours désert et plein de gloire,
Où ce roi, qui n'attendait pas,
Attendit un jour, pas à pas,
Condé, lassé par la victoire.
Elles sont près d'un vase blanc,
Proprement fait et fort galant.
Est-il moderne ? est-il antique ?
D'autres que moi savent cela ;
Mais j'aime assez à le voir là,
Étant sûr qu'il n'est point gothique.
C'est un bon vase, un bon voisin ;
Je le crois volontiers cousin
De mes marches couleur de rose ;
Il les abrite avec fierté.
Ô mon Dieu ! dans si peu de chose
Que de grâce et que de beauté !

Dites-nous, marches gracieuses,
Les rois, les princes, les prélats,
Et les marquis à grands fracas,
Et les belles ambitieuses,
Dont vous avez compté les pas ;
Celles-là surtout, j'imagine,
En vous touchant ne pesaient pas.
Lorsque le velours ou l'hermine
Frôlaient vos contours délicats,
Laquelle était la plus légère ?
Est-ce la reine Montespan ?
Est-ce Hortense avec un roman,
Maintenon avec son bréviaire,
Ou Fontange avec son ruban ?
Beau marbre, as-tu vu la Vallière ?
De Parabère ou de Sabran
Laquelle savait mieux te plaire ?
Entre Sabran et Parabère
Le Régent même, après souper,
Chavirait jusqu'à s'y tromper.
As-tu vu le puissant Voltaire,
Ce grand frondeur des préjugés,
Avocat des gens mal jugés,
Du Christ ce terrible adversaire,
Bedeau du temple de Cythère,
Présentant à la Pompadour
Sa vieille eau bénite de cour ?
As-tu vu, comme à l'ermitage,
La rondelette Dubarry
Courir, en buvant du laitage,
Pieds nus, sur le gazon fleuri ?
Marches qui savez notre histoire,
Aux jours pompeux de votre gloire,
Quel heureux monde en ces bosquets !
Que de grands seigneurs, de laquais,
Que de duchesses, de caillettes,
De talons rouges, de paillettes,
Que de soupirs et de caquets,
Que de plumets et de calottes,
De falbalas et de culottes,
Que de poudre sous ces berceaux,
Que de gens, sans compter les sots !
Règne auguste de la perruque,
Le bourgeois qui te méconnaît
Mérite sur sa plate nuque
D'avoir un éternel bonnet.
Et toi, siècle à l'humeur badine,
Siècle tout couvert d'amidon,
Ceux qui méprisent ta farine
Sont en horreur à Cupidon !...
Est-ce ton avis, marbre rose ?
Malgré moi, pourtant, je suppose
Que le hasard qui t'a mis là
Ne t'avait pas fait pour cela.
Aux pays où le soleil brille,
Près d'un temple grec ou latin,
Les beaux pieds d'une jeune fille,
Sentant la bruyère et le thym,
En te frappant de leurs sandales,
Auraient mieux réjoui tes dalles
Qu'une pantoufle de satin.
Est-ce d'ailleurs pour cet usage
Que la nature avait formé
Ton bloc jadis vierge et sauvage
Que le génie eût animé ?
Lorsque la pioche et la truelle
T'ont scellé dans ce parc boueux,
En t'y plantant malgré les dieux,
Mansard insultait Praxitèle.
Oui, si tes flancs devaient s'ouvrir,
Il fallait en faire sortir
Quelque divinité nouvelle.
Quand sur toi leur scie a grincé,
Les tailleurs de pierre ont blessé
Quelque Vénus dormant encore,
Et la pourpre qui te colore
Te vient du sang qu'elle a versé.

Est-il donc vrai que toute chose
Puisse être ainsi foulée aux pieds,
Le rocher où l'aigle se pose,
Comme la feuille de la rose
Qui tombe et meurt dans nos sentiers ?
Est-ce que la commune mère,
Une fois son oeuvre accompli,
Au hasard livre la matière,
Comme la pensée à l'oubli ?
Est-ce que la tourmente amère
Jette la perle au lapidaire
Pour qu'il l'écrase sans façon ?
Est-ce que l'absurde vulgaire
Peut tout déshonorer sur terre
Au gré d'un cuistre ou d'un maçon ?

Que mon sort est affreux ! S'écriait un hibou :
Vieux, infirme, souffrant, accablé de misère,
Je suis isolé sur la terre,
Et jamais un oiseau n'est venu dans mon trou
Consoler un moment ma douleur solitaire.
Un pigeon entendit ces mots,
Et courut auprès du malade :
Hélas ! Mon pauvre camarade,
Lui dit-il, je plains bien vos maux.
Mais je ne comprends pas qu'un hibou de votre âge
Soit sans épouse, sans parents,
Sans enfants ou petits-enfants.
N'avez-vous point serré les nœuds du mariage
Pendant le cours de vos beaux ans ?
Le hibou répondit : non vraiment, mon cher frère :
Me marier ! Et pourquoi faire ?
J'en connaissais trop le danger.
Vouliez-vous que je prisse une jeune chouette,
Bien étourdie et bien coquette,
Qui me trahît sans cesse ou me fît enrager,
Qui me donnât des fils d'un méchant caractère,
Ingrats, menteurs, mauvais sujets,
Désirant en secret le trépas de leur père ?
Car c'est ainsi qu'ils sont tous faits.
Pour des parents, je n'en ai guère,
Et ne les vis jamais : ils sont durs, exigeants,
Pour le moindre sujet s'irritent,
N'aiment que ceux dont ils héritent ;
Encor ne faut-il pas qu'ils attendent longtemps.
Tout frère ou tout cousin nous déteste et nous pille.
Je ne suis pas de votre avis,
Répondit le pigeon : mais parlons des amis ;
Des orphelins c'est la famille :
Vous avez dû près d'eux trouver quelques douceurs.
- Les amis ! Ils sont tous trompeurs.
J'ai connu deux hiboux qui tendrement s'aimèrent
Pendant quinze ans, et, certain jour,
Pour une souris s'égorgèrent.
Je crois à l'amitié moins encor qu'à l'amour.
- Mais ainsi, Dieu me le pardonne !
Vous n'avez donc aimé personne ?
- Ma foi, non, soit dit entre nous.
- En ce cas-là, mon cher, de quoi vous plaignez-vous ?

Enfants, beaux fronts naïfs penchés autour de moi,
Bouches aux dents d'émail disant toujours : Pourquoi ?
Vous qui, m'interrogeant sur plus d'un grand problème,
Voulez de chaque chose, obscure pour moi-même,
Connaître le vrai sens et le mot décisif,
Et qui touchez à tout dans mon esprit pensif ;
- Si bien que, vous partis, souvent je passe
Des heures, fort maussade, à remettre à leur place
Au fond de mon cerveau mes plans, mes visions,
Mes sujets éternels de méditations,
Dieu, l'homme, l'avenir, la raison, la démence,
Mes systèmes, tas sombre, échafaudage immense,
Dérangés tout à coup, sans tort de votre part,
Par une question d'enfant, faite au hasard ! -
Puisqu'enfin vous voilà sondant mes destinées,
Et que vous me parlez de mes jeunes années,
De mes premiers instincts, de mon premier espoir,
Écoutez, doux amis, qui voulez tout savoir !

J'eus dans ma blonde enfance, hélas ! trop éphémère,
Trois maîtres : - un jardin, un vieux prêtre et ma mère.

Le jardin était grand, profond, mystérieux,
Fermé par de hauts murs aux regards curieux,
Semé de fleurs s'ouvrant ainsi que des paupières,
Et d'insectes vermeils qui couraient sur les pierres ;
Plein de bourdonnements et de confuses voix ;
Au milieu, presque un champ, dans le fond, presque un bois.
Le prêtre, tout nourri de Tacite et d'Homère,
Était un doux vieillard. Ma mère - était ma mère !

Ainsi je grandissais sous ce triple rayon.

Un jour... - Oh ! si Gautier me prêtait son crayon,
Je vous dessinerais d'un trait une figure
Qui chez ma mère un jour entra, fâcheux augure !
Un docteur au front pauvre, au maintien solennel,
Et je verrais éclore à vos bouches sans fiel,
Portes de votre cœur qu'aucun souci ne mine,
Ce rire éblouissant qui parfois m'illumine !

Lorsque cet homme entra, je jouais au jardin.
Et rien qu'en le voyant je m'arrêtai soudain.

C'était le principal d'un collège quelconque.

Les tritons que Coypel groupe autour d'une conque,
Les faunes que Watteau dans les bois fourvoya,
Les sorciers de Rembrandt, les gnomes de Goya,
Les diables variés, vrais cauchemars de moine
Dont Callot en riant taquine saint Antoine,
Sont laids, mais sont charmants ; difformes, mais remplis
D'un feu qui de leur face anime tous les plis
Et parfois dans leurs yeux jette un éclair rapide.
- Notre homme était fort laid, mais il était stupide.

Pardon, j'en parle encor comme un franc écolier.
C'est mal. Ce que j'ai dit, tâchez de l'oublier ;
Car de votre âge heureux, qu'un pédant embarrasse,
J'ai gardé la colère et j'ai perdu la grâce.

Cet homme chauve et noir, très effrayant pour moi,
Et dont ma mère aussi d'abord eut quelque effroi,
Tout en multipliant les humbles attitudes,
Apportait des avis et des sollicitudes :
- Que l'enfant n'était pas dirigé ; - que parfois
Il emportait son livre en rêvant dans les bois ;
Qu'il croissait au hasard dans cette solitude ;
Qu'on devait y songer ; que la sévère étude
Était fille de l'ombre et des cloîtres profonds ;
Qu'une lampe pendue à de sombres plafonds,
Qui de cent écoliers guide la plume agile,
Éclairait mieux Horace et Catulle et Virgile,
Et versait à l'esprit des rayons bien meilleurs
Que le soleil qui joue à travers l'arbre en fleurs ;
Et qu'enfin il fallait aux enfants, - **** des mères, -
Le joug, le dur travail et les larmes amères.
Là-dessus, le collège, aimable et triomphant,
Avec un doux sourire offrait au jeune enfant
Ivre de liberté, d'air, de joie et de roses,
Ses bancs de chêne noirs, ses longs dortoirs moroses,
Ses salles qu'on verrouille et qu'à tous leurs piliers
Sculpte avec un vieux clou l'ennui des écoliers,
Ses magisters qui font, parmi les paperasses,
Manger l'heure du jeu par les pensums voraces,
Et, sans eux, sans gazon, sans arbres, sans fruits mûrs,
Sa grande cour pavée entre quatre murs.

L'homme congédié, de ses discours frappée,  
Ma mère demeura triste et préoccupée.
Que faire ? que vouloir ? qui donc avait raison,
Ou le morne collège, ou l'heureuse maison ?
Qui sait mieux de la vie accomplir l'œuvre austère,
L'écolier turbulent, ou l'enfant solitaire ?
Problèmes ! questions ! elle hésitait beaucoup.
L'affaire était bien grave. Humble femme après tout,
Âme par le destin, non par les livres faite,
De quel front repousser ce tragique prophète,
Au ton si magistral, aux gestes si certains,
Qui lui parlait au nom des Grecs et des Latins ?
Le prêtre était savant sans doute ; mais, que sais-je ?
Apprend-on par le maître ou bien par le collège ?
Et puis, enfin, - souvent ainsi nous triomphons ! -
L'homme le plus vulgaire a de grands mots profonds :
- « Il est indispensable ! - il convient ! - il importe ! »
Qui troublent quelquefois la femme la plus forte.
Pauvre mère ! lequel choisir des deux chemins ?
Tout le sort de son fils se pesait dans ses mains.
Tremblante, elle tenait cette lourde balance,
Et croyait bien la voir par moments en silence
Pencher vers le collège, hélas ! en opposant
Mon bonheur à venir à mon bonheur présent.

Elle songeait ainsi sans sommeil et sans trêve.

C'était l'été. Vers l'heure où la lune se lève,
Par un de ces beaux soirs qui ressemblent au jour
Avec moins de clarté, mais avec plus d'amour,
Dans son parc, où jouaient le rayon et la brise,
Elle errait, toujours triste et toujours indécise,
Questionnant tout bas l'eau, le ciel, la forêt,
Écoutant au hasard les voix qu'elle entendait.

C'est dans ces moments-là que le jardin paisible,
La broussaille où remue un insecte invisible,
Le scarabée ami des feuilles, le lézard
Courant au clair de lune au fond du vieux puisard,
La faïence à fleur bleue où vit la plante grasse,
Le dôme oriental du sombre Val-de-Grâce,
Le cloître du couvent, brisé, mais doux encor,
Les marronniers, la verte allée aux boutons-d'or,
La statue où sans bruit se meut l'ombre des branches,
Les pâles liserons, les pâquerettes blanches,
Les cent fleurs du buisson, de l'arbre, du roseau,
Qui rendent en parfums ses chansons à l'oiseau,
Se mirent dans la mare ou se cachent dans l'herbe,
Ou qui, de l'ébénier chargeant le front superbe,
Au bord des clairs étangs se mêlant au bouleau,
Tremblent en grappes d'or dans les moires de l'eau,
Et le ciel scintillant derrière les ramées,
Et les toits répandant de charmantes fumées,
C'est dans ces moments-là, comme je vous le dis,
Que tout ce beau jardin, radieux paradis,
Tous ces vieux murs croulants, toutes ces jeunes roses,
Tous ces objets pensifs, toutes ces douces choses,
Parlèrent à ma mère avec l'onde et le vent,
Et lui dirent tout bas : - « Laisse-nous cet enfant ! »

« Laisse-nous cet enfant, pauvre mère troublée !
Cette prunelle ardente, ingénue, étoilée,
Cette tête au front pur qu'aucun deuil ne voila,
Cette âme neuve encor, mère, laisse-nous-la !
Ne vas pas la jeter au hasard dans la foule.
La foule est un torrent qui brise ce qu'il roule.
Ainsi que les oiseaux les enfants ont leurs peurs.
Laisse à notre air limpide, à nos moites vapeurs,
À nos soupirs, légers comme l'aile d'un songe,
Cette bouche où jamais n'a passé le mensonge,
Ce sourire naïf que sa candeur défend !
Ô mère au cœur profond, laisse-nous cet enfant !
Nous ne lui donnerons que de bonnes pensées ;
Nous changerons en jour ses lueurs commencées ;
Dieu deviendra visible à ses yeux enchantés ;
Car nous sommes les fleurs, les rameaux, les clartés,
Nous sommes la nature et la source éternelle
Où toute soif s'épanche, où se lave toute aile ;
Et les bois et les champs, du sage seul compris,
Font l'éducation de tous les grands esprits !
Laisse croître l'enfant parmi nos bruits sublimes.
Nous le pénétrerons de ces parfums intimes,
Nés du souffle céleste épars dans tout beau lieu,
Qui font sortir de l'homme et monter jusqu'à Dieu,
Comme le chant d'un luth, comme l'encens d'un vase,
L'espérance, l'amour, la prière, et l'extase !
Nous pencherons ses yeux vers l'ombre d'ici-bas,
Vers le secret de tout entr'ouvert sous ses pas.
D'enfant nous le ferons homme, et d'homme poète.
Pour former de ses sens la corolle inquiète,
C'est nous qu'il faut choisir ; et nous lui montrerons
Comment, de l'aube au soir, du chêne aux moucherons,
Emplissant tout, reflets, couleurs, brumes, haleines,
La vie aux mille aspects rit dans les vertes plaines.
Nous te le rendrons simple et des cieux ébloui :
Et nous ferons germer de toutes parts en lui
Pour l'homme, triste effet perdu sous tant de causes,
Cette pitié qui naît du spectacle des choses !
Laissez-nous cet enfant ! nous lui ferons un cœur
Qui comprendra la femme ; un esprit non moqueur,
Où naîtront aisément le songe et la chimère,
Qui prendra Dieu pour livre et les champs pour grammaire,
Une âme, pur foyer de secrètes faveurs,
Qui luira doucement sur tous les fronts rêveurs,
Et, comme le soleil dans les fleurs fécondées,
Jettera des rayons sur toutes les idées ! »

Ainsi parlaient, à l'heure où la ville se tait,
L'astre, la plante et l'arbre, - et ma mère écoutait.

Enfants ! ont-ils tenu leur promesse sacrée ?
Je ne sais. Mais je sais que ma mère adorée
Les crut, et, m'épargnant d'ennuyeuses prisons,
Confia ma jeune âme à leurs douces leçons.

Dès lors, en attendant la nuit, heure où l'étude
Rappelait ma pensée à sa grave attitude,
Tout le jour, libre, heureux, seul sous le firmament,
Je pus errer à l'aise en ce jardin charmant,
Contemplant les fruits d'or, l'eau rapide ou stagnante,
L'étoile épanouie et la fleur rayonnante,
Et les prés et les bois, que mon esprit le soir,
Revoyait dans Virgile ainsi qu'en un miroir.

Enfants ! aimez les champs, les vallons, les fontaines,
Les chemins que le soir emplit de voix lointaines,
Et l'onde et le sillon, flanc jamais assoupi,
Où germe la pensée à côté de l'épi.
Prenez-vous par la main et marchez dans les herbes ;
Regardez ceux qui vont liant les blondes gerbes ;
Épelez dans le ciel plein de lettres de feu,
Et, quand un oiseau chante, écoutez parler Dieu.
La vie avec le choc des passions contraires
Vous attend ; soyez bons, soyez vrais, soyez frères ;
Unis contre le monde où l'esprit se corrompt,
Lisez au même livre en vous touchant du front,
Et n'oubliez jamais que l'âme humble et choisie
Faite pour la lumière et pour la poésie,
Que les cœurs où Dieu met des échos sérieux
Pour tous les bruits qu'anime un sens mystérieux,
Dans un cri, dans un son, dans un vague murmure,
Entendent les conseils de toute la nature !

Le 31 mai 1839.

sliding through the half open doorway of my older sister’s room
I was an adventurer,
searching  for treasure and fame amidst the crumpled bed sheets and discarded clothes
I always heard her footsteps above me before I found anything

I wandered the woods that lay like a blanket across the hillside
I tried to categorize everything I saw so that nothing could elude me
you were terra
you were avis
you made me cry with your beauty that I didn’t know enough Latin or English to explain

I found a piece of petrified wood
it sat next to my bed
I memorized it as the day turned to twilight
it lasted forever

When I climbed the pile of rubble and rocks near the green garden shed
I perched atop the peaked roof a queen
eating sour crab apples as I watched the neighbors yell at their children under the oak
for something that I knew they hadn’t done

years earlier
crouching low at the bottom of the blue carpeted stairs
the yarn abrasive against my fingertips
listening to my parent’s hushed voices
trying to make out the words I couldn’t quite understand
or didn’t want to

running fast down the path by the plunging waterfall
feeling the pine needles ***** my hands and knees when I fell
but I couldn’t go home
I had to learn their secrets

Sonnet.

Deux sonnets partagent la ville,
Deux sonnets partagent la cour,
Et semblent vouloir à leur tour
Rallumer la guerre civile.

Le plus sot et le plus habile
En mettent leur avis au jour,
Et ce qu'on a pour eux d'amour
A plus d'un échauffe la bile.

Chacun en parle hautement
Suivant son petit jugement ;
Et, s'il y faut mêler le nôtre,

L'un est sans doute mieux rêvé,
Mieux conduit, et mieux achevé ;
Mais je voudrais avoir fait l'autre.

À Joseph, comte de S.
Cuncta supercilio.
HORACE.


Dans une grande fête, un jour, au Panthéon,
J'avais sept ans, je vis passer Napoléon.
Pour voir cette figure illustre et solennelle,
Je m'étais échappé de l'aile maternelle ;
Car il tenait déjà mon esprit inquiet.
Mais ma mère aux doux yeux, qui souvent s'effrayait
En m'entendant parler guerre, assauts et bataille,
Craignait pour moi la foule, à cause de ma taille.

Et ce qui me frappa, dans ma sainte terreur,
Quand au front du cortège apparut l'empereur,
Tandis que les enfants demandaient à leurs mères
Si c'est là ce héros dont on fait cent chimères,
Ce ne fut pas de voir tout ce peuple à grand bruit,
Le suivre comme on suit un phare dans la nuit
Et se montrer de ****, sur la tête suprême,
Ce chapeau tout usé plus beau qu'un diadème,
Ni, pressés sur ses pas, dix vassaux couronnés
Regarder en tremblant ses pieds éperonnés,
Ni ses vieux grenadiers, se faisant violence,
Des cris universels s'enivrer en silence ;
Non, tandis qu'à genoux la ville tout en feu,
Joyeuse comme on est lorsqu'on n'a qu'un seul vœu
Qu'on n'est qu'un même peuple et qu'ensemble on respire,
Chantait en chœur : VEILLONS AU SALUT DE L'EMPIRE !

Ce qui me frappa, dis-je, et me resta gravé,
Même après que le cri sur la route élevé
Se fut évanoui dans ma jeune mémoire,
Ce fut de voir, parmi ces fanfares de gloire,
Dans le bruit qu'il faisait, cet homme souverain
Passer muet et grave ainsi qu'un dieu d'airain.

Et le soir, curieux, je le dis à mon père,
Pendant qu'il défaisait son vêtement de guerre,
Et que je me jouais sur son dos indulgent
De l'épaulette d'or aux étoiles d'argent.
Mon père secoua la tête sans réponse.
Mais souvent une idée en notre esprit s'enfonce ;
Ce qui nous a frappés nous revient par moments,
Et l'enfance naïve a ses étonnements.

Le lendemain, pour voir le soleil qui s'incline,
J'avais suivi mon père en haut de la colline
Qui domine Paris du côté du levant,
Et nous allions tous deux, lui pensant, moi rêvant.
Cet homme en mon esprit restait comme un prodige,
Et, parlant à mon père : Ô mon père, lui dis-je,
Pourquoi notre empereur, cet envoyé de Dieu,
Lui qui fait tout mouvoir et qui met tout en feu,
A-t-il ce regard froid et cet air immobile ?
Mon père dans ses mains prit ma tête débile,
Et me montrant au **** l'horizon spacieux :
« Vois, mon fils, cette terre, immobile à tes yeux,
Plus que l'air, plus que l'onde et la flamme, est émue,
Car le germe de tout dans son ventre remue.
Dans ses flancs ténébreux, nuit et jour en rampant
Elle sent se plonger la racine, serpent
Qui s'abreuve aux ruisseaux des sèves toujours prêtes,
Et fouille et boit sans cesse avec ses mille têtes.
Mainte flamme y ruisselle, et tantôt lentement
Imbibe le cristal qui devient diamant,
Tantôt, dans quelque mine éblouissante et sombre,
Allume des monceaux d'escarboucles sans nombre,
Ou, s'échappant au jour, plus magnifique encor,
Au front du vieil Etna met une aigrette d'or.
Toujours l'intérieur de la terre travaille.
Son flanc universel incessamment tressaille.
Goutte à goutte, et sans bruit qui réponde à son bruit,
La source de tout fleuve y filtre dans la nuit.
Elle porte à la fois, sur sa face où nous sommes,
Les blés et les cités, les forêts et les hommes.
Vois, tout est vert au ****, tout rit, tout est vivant.
Elle livre le chêne et le brin d'herbe au vent.
Les fruits et les épis la couvrent à cette heure.
Eh bien ! déjà, tandis que ton regard l'effleure,
Dans son sein que n'épuise aucun enfantement,
Les futures moissons tremblent confusément.

« Ainsi travaille, enfant, l'âme active et féconde
Du poète qui crée et du soldat qui fonde.
Mais ils n'en font rien voir. De la flamme à pleins bords
Qui les brûle au dedans, rien ne luit au dehors.
Ainsi Napoléon, que l'éclat environne
Et qui fit tant de bruit en forgeant sa couronne,
Ce chef que tout célèbre et que pourtant tu vois,
Immobile et muet, passer sur le pavois,
Quand le peuple l'étreint, sent en lui ses pensées,
Qui l'étreignent aussi, se mouvoir plus pressées.

« Déjà peut-être en lui mille choses se font,
Et tout l'avenir germe en son cerveau profond.
Déjà, dans sa pensée immense et clairvoyante,
L'Europe ne fait plus qu'une France géante,
Berlin, Vienne, Madrid, Moscou, Londres, Milan,
Viennent rendre à Paris hommage une fois l'an,
Le Vatican n'est plus que le vassal du Louvre,
La terre à chaque instant sous les vieux trônes s'ouvre
Et de tous leurs débris sort pour le genre humain
Un autre Charlemagne, un autre globe en main.
Et, dans le même esprit où ce grand dessein roule,
Des bataillons futurs déjà marchent en foule,
Le conscrit résigné, sous un avis fréquent,
Se dresse, le tambour résonne au front du camp,
D'ouvriers et d'outils Cherbourg couvre sa grève,
Le vaisseau colossal sur le chantier s'élève,
L'obusier rouge encor sort du fourneau qui bout,
Une marine flotte, une armée est debout !
Car la guerre toujours l'illumine et l'enflamme,
Et peut-être déjà, dans la nuit de cette âme,
Sous ce crâne, où le monde en silence est couvé,
D'un second Austerlitz le soleil s'est levé ! »

Plus ****, une autre fois, je vis passer cet homme,
Plus grand dans son Paris que César dans sa Rome.
Des discours de mon père alors. je me souvins.
On l'entourait encor d'honneurs presque divins,
Et je lui retrouvai, rêveur à son passage,
Et la même pensée et le même visage.
Il méditait toujours son projet surhumain.
Cent aigles l'escortaient en empereur romain.
Ses régiments marchaient, enseignes déployées ;
Ses lourds canons, baissant leurs bouches essuyées,
Couraient, et, traversant la foule aux pas confus,
Avec un bruit d'airain sautaient sur leurs affûts.
Mais bientôt, au soleil, cette tête admirée
Disparut dans un flot de poussière dorée ;
Il passa. Cependant son nom sur la cité
Bondissait, des canons aux cloches rejeté ;
Son cortège emplissait de tumultes les rues ;
Et, par mille clameurs de sa présence accrues,
Par mille cris de joie et d'amour furieux,
Le peuple saluait ce passant glorieux.

Novembre 1830.

On en veut trop aux courtisans ;
On va criant partout qu'à l'état inutiles
Pour leur seul intérêt ils se montrent habiles :
Ce sont discours de médisants.
J'ai lu, je ne sais où, qu'autrefois en Syrie
Ce fut un courtisan qui sauva sa patrie.
Voici comment : dans le pays
La peste avait été portée,
Et ne devait cesser que quand le dieu Protée
Dirait là-dessus son avis.
Ce dieu, comme l'on sait, n'est pas facile à vivre :
Pour le faire parler il faut longtemps le suivre,
Près de son antre l'épier,
Le surprendre, et puis le lier,
Malgré la figure effrayante
Qu'il prend et quitte à volonté.
Certain vieux courtisan, par le roi député,
Devant le dieu marin tout-à-coup se présente.
Celui-ci, surpris, irrité,
Se change en noir serpent ; sa gueule empoisonnée
Lance et retire un dard messager du trépas,
Tandis que, dans sa marche oblique et détournée,
Il glisse sur lui-même et d'un pli fait un pas.
Le courtisan sourit : je connais cette allure,
Dit-il, et mieux que toi je sais mordre et ramper.
Il court alors pour l'attraper :
Mais le dieu change de figure ;
Il devient tour-à-tour loup, singe, lynx, renard.
Tu veux me vaincre dans mon art,
Disait le courtisan : mais, depuis mon enfance,
Plus que ces animaux avide, adroit, rusé,
Chacun de ces tours-là pour moi se trouve usé.
Changer d'habit, de mœurs, même de conscience ;
Je ne vois rien là que d'aisé.
Lors il saisit le dieu, le lie,
Arrache son oracle, et retourne vainqueur.
Ce trait nous prouve, ami lecteur,
Combien un courtisan peut servir la patrie.

Fable IV, Livre V.


Mes bons amis, je dois en convenir,
Je n'imaginais pas qu'un mort pût revenir ;
Que bien empaqueté, soit dans cette humble bière
Des humains du commun la retraite dernière,
Soit dans ce lourd cercueil dont le plomb protecteur
Plus longtemps au néant dispute un sénateur,
Au grand air un défunt pût jamais reparaître ;
Et par aucun motif, si pressant qu'il puisse être,
Se reproduire aux yeux des badauds effrayés,
À ses vieux ennemis venir tirer les pieds,
Sommer ses héritiers de tenir leurs promesses,
Et forcer ces ingrats à lui payer des messes.
Un curé de notre canton,
Qui, s'il n'est esprit fort, est du moins esprit sage,
Deux fois par semaine, au sermon,
L'affirme cependant aux gens de son village.
« Or ça, lui dis-je un jour, plaisant hors de saison,
Tantôt vous commenciez un somme,
Ou bien vous perdez la raison. »
« - La raison, répond le bonhomme,
Laquelle à mon avis doit régner en tout lieu,
« Même en chaire, enseigne qu'à Dieu
« Au monde il n'est rien d'impossible.
« - Aucune vérité n'est pour moi plus sensible.
« - Vous reconnaissez, frère, en accordant ce point,
« Qu'à mon petit troupeau je n'en impose point,
« En lui disant que Dieu, mécontent qu'on se livre
« À de pernicieux penchants,
« Peut laisser les défunts lutiner les méchants,
« Afin de leur apprendre à vivre.
« - Bien ! et vous le prouvez ? - Appuyant quelquefois
« Ce dogme édifiant d'un pieux stratagème,
« Vers le soir, dans la grange ou sur les bords du bois,
« Je le prouve en faisant le revenant moi-même.
« Tantôt vêtu de blanc, tantôt vêtu de noir,
« J'ai vingt fois relancé jusque dans son manoir
« Tel maraud qui, déjà coupable au fond de l'âme,
« Et pendable un moment plus ****,
« Convoitait du voisin le fromage ou le lard,
« Ou bien la vache, ou bien la femme.
« Changeant, suivant le cas, et de forme et de ton,
« Assisté du vicaire et surtout du bâton,
« Ainsi dans ma paroisse exorcisant le crime,
« Régénérant les mœurs, je fais payer la dîme,
« Donne un père à l'enfant qui n'en aurait pas eu ;
« Et quand au cabaret dimanche on s'est battu,
« Mettant l'apothicaire aux frais du bras qui blesse,
« Je fais faire ici par faiblesse
« Ce qu'on n'eût pas fait par vertu.
« Osez-vous m'en blâmer ? - Moi, curé, je le jure,
« De tout mon cœur je vous absous ;
« Et qui plus est je me résous
« À tolérer parfois quelque utile imposture.
« Par un vil intérêt vers le mal entraîné,
« Au bien si rarement quand l'homme est ramené
« Par le noble amour du bien même,
« En employant l'erreur qu'il aime
« Dominons le penchant dont il est dominé.
« Sans trop examiner si la chose est croyable,
« De la chose qu'on croit tirons utilité.
« Un préjugé sublime, une erreur pitoyable
« Peut tourner au profit de la société ;
« Il est bon que Rollet tremble en rêvant au diable,
« Et César en pensant à la postérité. »

Je suis pédéraste dans l'âme,
Je le dis tout haut et debout.
Assis, je changerais de gamme,
Et, couché sur un lit, Madame,
Je ne le dirais plus du tout.

La pédérastie est un vice :
C'est l'avis de mon médecin.
Je le crois, il n'est pas novice
Quand il soutient que l'exercice
Le plus naturel, le plus sain,

Sain, comme la mer et son hâle,
L'honneur même de la maison,
Qui fait le regard le moins pâle,
Le plus magnifiquement mâle,
Sans aucune comparaison,

Le plus ravissant sur la terre,
C'est de froisser le traversin
D'une femme qu'on... désaltère,
Quand elle serait adultère,
Quand elle n'aurait qu'un seul sein.

C'est là le sentiment intime
De tous les peuples sous le ciel ;
Et je me fous, pour la maxime,
Que l'Exception règne ou rime
Même d'un air spirituel ;

De tous, oui, autant que nous sommes,
Aussi bien du Chinois charmant
Que du Français, peintre de pommes ;
Et c'est l'opinion des hommes
Qui furent des hommes, vraiment,

Plus forts que ceux dont leur église
Met les cercueils an Panthéon ;
Ce sont ceux-là qu'on poétise,
Par exemple... Abraham... Moïse,
Et, si tu veux... Napoléon.

C'est l'opinion du plus sage
Chez les Slaves au regard clair,
Chez les Germains au doux visage,
Chez les Latins au beau langage,
Et chez les Bretons au cœur fier.

C'est la tienne, Aimée, et la nôtre ;
C'est celle de tout bon cerveau,
Qui n'a contre elle qu'un... apôtre,
Un monsieur pourtant comme un autre,
Son nom ?... devra rimer en veau.

- Son nom, voyons ? - Comment, Madame
Son nom ? mais puisqu'il n'est pas pur,
Il souillerait, ce nom infâme,
Tes chastes oreilles de femme ;
Et puis, moi, je n'en suis pas sûr.

Si c'était une calomnie
Qu'une apparence aide à courir,
Je ferais une vilenie ;
Son nom ? Ah ! jamais de la vie !
J'aimerais cent fois mieux mourir !

La jolie école qu'il fonde,
Sans ce nom-là, pourra planer
Dans une obscurité profonde ;
La plus belle fille du monde
Comme l'on dit, ne peut donner...

D'ailleurs, Madame, cette école
Ne fait pas beaucoup d'adhérents :
Il n'ont pas de porte-parole ;
Et c'est comme une offre un peu molle
Qui rit à des indifférents.

Cependant, sa présence agace
Ceux qui la soupçonnent dans l'air ;
Car ce soupçon va, se déplace,
Et finalement vous enlace
Comme la vague dans la mer.

Ces messieurs lisent la gazette,
Dînent en ville assez bien mis ;
Quelquefois courtisent Lisette ;
J'approuve cela, mais, mazette !
Je n'en... gueule pas mes amis.

Oui, ce vilain soupçon nous gêne
Et pourrait submerger un jour,
Près de la niche, avec la chaîne,
L'Amitié, cette belle chienne,
Qui hurle à sa lune d'amour.

Pour moi, vous remarquerez comme
J'ai quelque grâce à protester :
Passant pour la moitié d'un homme,
N'aurais-je pas le droit, en somme,
De chercher à me compléter ?

Bien mieux, tiens ! je ne suis pas large,
Mais le plus raide des paris
Qu'on me le tienne, et je me charge
Sous les yeux du public, en marge,
Du plus vieux mouchard de Paris !

Or, je ne suis pas pédéraste ;
Que serait-ce si je l'étais !
Voyez, Madame, quel contraste !
Ah ! par la perruque d'Éraste !
Et maintenant... si je pétais !

Draw open the curtains, let the light in!
Let the love proceed in its own discipline
Do appreciate praise of beauty is no sin
Give me your hand let me whole to win

My beloved take love hope to the prime
Let us take maximum advantage of time
My emotions are pure my passion sublime
To love your beauty my love is not crime

Let take the taste when weather is for us
Give me juicy cheeks take bundle of buss
My love take hand in hand and let me Avis
I am your lake and you are my sweet lotus

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

De jeunes écoliers avaient pris dans un trou
Un hibou,
Et l'avaient élevé dans la cour du collège.
Un vieux chat, un jeune oison,
Nourris par le portier, étaient en liaison
Avec l'oiseau ; tous trois avaient le privilège
D'aller et de venir par toute la maison.
À force d'être dans la classe,
Ils avaient orné leur esprit,
Savaient par cœur Denys d'Halicarnasse
Et tout ce qu'Hérodote et Tite-Live ont dit.
Un soir, en disputant (des docteurs c'est l'usage),
Ils comparaient entre eux les peuples anciens.
Ma foi, disait le chat, c'est aux égyptiens
Que je donne le prix : c'était un peuple sage,
Un peuple ami des lois, instruit, discret, pieux,
Rempli de respect pour ses dieux ;
Cela seul, à mon gré, lui donne l'avantage.
J'aime mieux les athéniens,
Répondait le hibou : que d'esprit ! Que de grâce !
Et dans les combats quelle audace !
Que d'aimables héros parmi leurs citoyens !
A-t-on jamais plus fait avec moins de moyens ?
Des nations c'est la première.
Parbleu ! Dit l'oison en colère,
Messieurs, je vous trouve plaisants :
Et les romains, que vous en semble ?
Est-il un peuple qui rassemble
Plus de grandeur, de gloire, et de faits éclatants ?
Dans les arts, comme dans la guerre,
Ils ont surpassé vos amis.
Pour moi, ce sont mes favoris ;
Tout doit céder le pas aux vainqueurs de la terre.
Chacun des trois pédants s'obstine en son avis,
Quand un rat, qui de **** entendait la dispute,
Rat savant, qui mangeait des thèmes dans sa hutte,
Leur cria : je vois bien d'où viennent vos débats :
L'Égypte vénérait les chats,
Athènes les hiboux, et Rome, au capitole,
Aux dépens de l'état nourrissait des oisons :
Ainsi notre intérêt est toujours la boussole
Que suivent nos opinions.

Fable XIII, Livre IV.


A-t-on des puces, mes amis,
Il faut songer à s'en défaire.
Mais **** qu'il fût de cet avis,
Certain barbet jadis faisait tout le contraire,
Et du ton d'un riche, ou d'un grand
Qui s'enorgueillirait des amis de tout rang,
Dont toute bonne table en tout pays foisonne,
Disait, au lieu de se gratter :
Que de gens je puis me flatter
D'avoir autour de ma personne !
Un peuple tout entier accompagne mes pas. »
« - Rien de plus vrai, dit une puce ;
Mais, crois-moi, ne t'en prévaux pas :
S'il tient à toi, c'est qu'il te suce. »

Fable XIII, Livre II.


En Chine, un animal, singe de son métier,
Crut, comme bien des gens, que, s'il changeait de cage,
Il changerait de personnage.
Profitant donc de l'heure où le saint du quartier,
Chez le peintre où le charpentier,
Se trouvait en raccommodage,
Il se loge en sa niche ; et, composant son ton,
Du béat qu'il supplée affectant l'air paterne,
Il se dit, on le croit le patron du canton.
Le petit peuple se prosterne ;
Mainte dévote aussi. Cent fois j'ai rencontré
Mainte dévote aux pieds de saints de moindre étoffe.
L'exemple avait gagné quand un jeune lettré,
Fils de Confucius, apprenti philosophe,
Avisant le magot, qui, toujours méconnu,
De sa guérite parfumée
Humait les vœux et la fumée,
Lui donna cet avis, qu'on a peu retenu :
« Hors d'ici, que l'on ne te chasse,
Sot qu'un plus sot vient adorer ;
La place ne peut t'honorer,
Et tu déshonores la place. »