20 minuter av frihet känns det
den härliga, kyliga brisen är renande.
Små fåglar delar glädjen av en ny dag.
Solen småtittar genom träden som släpper
små löv som liknar snö.
Trädens vaggnade och vinden påminner mig
om havet. Det känns fridsamt,
Jag vill stanna kvar.

10 minuter kvar av frisk vind som blåser
genom mig, känns helande. Alla tankar
försvinner.
Jag vill stanna kvar.

5 minuter kvar av otrolig harmoni av
öppet sinne for skönhet och inget annat.
Av känslor som flödar genom mig, av att
vara en del av det hela, av att vara
älskad och uppleva detta med all sinnen öppna.

Tiden är ute men jag vill stanna kvar. Nostalgi

Kan bare huske jeg tog hans hånd da min hånd frøs,
og da jeg ville give slip, holdte han ved
Så hvorfor er det at når jeg ringer når mit sind fryser,
at han kun tager den, for at lægge på igen

so here I sit alone in our apartment
while he is in his childhood town, cleaning out his dads
cleaning out the drunken chaos and the remains of a life
and tries to air out the smell of death
he is forced to clean out the remains of
a periodic alcoholic's liqour soaked period which ended in the definite end of it all
i'm stuck at work while he is forced to run to the funeral agency, the bank
  and an apartment whose walls could tell a story
that would make the ancient greeks' tragedies fade in comparison

he is forced to clean up after his absent dads' death,
a dad who was never there, whose resumé not only includes
the leaving of a son, but also the leaving of life,
all this while i'm looking for washing machines online


//


så här sitter jag ensam i vår lägenhet,
medan han är i barndomsstaden och rensar ur sin pappas
städar bort fyllekaoset och resterna av ett liv
och försöker vädra ut lukten av död
han tvingas städa bort resterna av
en periodares alkohol-indränkta period som slutade i det slutliga slutet på allt
jag är fast på jobbet när han tvingas springa till begravningsbyrån, banken
och en lägenhet vars väggar skulle kunna berätta en historia
som skulle få de gamla grekernas tragedier att blekna i jämförelse

han tvingas städa upp efter sin frånvarande pappas död,
en pappa som aldrig var där, vars cv inte bara innefattar
ett lämnande av en son, utan också lämnandet av ett liv
medans jag letar tvättmaskiner på nätet

Bus de las 8:00, 8:04. Sol en la ventana, camino de adoquín, irregular, vías trizadas de cotidianidad; luz roja, luz verde, la amarilla no funciona, acelera, quema el neumático, 10, 20, 40, 50 y frena de golpe.

Vista a la ciudad, azul, sin nubes y seca; te incorporas al bajar, la montaña se humedece, también la ciudad. Av. Amazonas, CCI, Av. La Prensa. Abordas das vueltas te sientas, "tome sin compromiso, $1" sino me devuelve, 10, 20, 40, 50 y frena nunca en la parada. "Soy de Ibarra mi hijo en el hospital Baca Ortiz", frena bajas, viejas pisadas.

Haces fila, pagas, otra fila; firme aquí, no puede sonreír. "Espere 20 minutos", te sientas, turno WT64, WT65, WT66. "la niña no puede comer aquí" WT77, WT 78, WT79.  Juan Arboleda, Gustavo Betancourt, José Efrén, Adrián Poveda; revise si está todo bien, firme aquí, sello, sello, queda registrado. Escalera eléctrica, salida, aire no fresco, "le emplástico", "le limpio", caminas, te detienes, ojeas, sueñas. Esperas, Chillogallo - Estadio, Camal - Hipódromo, ¿y el Batán - Colmena? ni modo al Cía. Nacional.

El bus va lento a penas atraviesa la brisa, el sol rebota en el parabrisas, Av. 10 de Agosto, acelera, acelera, frena, en la Av. Versalles el bus es un huracán, y frena, te bajas, tu decencia se queda y en la calle colonial vuelves a soñar, fotografía militar, vuelves a filtrar, 11:23, relojería, confitería parada de bus, fanático religioso, sonidos afro, plaza, museo, buenos días, árbol con hojas de otro árbol. "Pide un deseo y escribelo en un pedazo de papel".

Amor valiente, amor invisible, beso beso, no puedo aterrizar, sala 5, hombre en llamas, síndrome de resignación, refugiados, reflexión, cerveza, amor, amor, $13.60. Carne salteada, ají, limonada, besos, botella extraviada, agua.

Pequeño adiós, Marín, intento de robo,   25 ctvs, gente casas coloridas, montaña, subes, subes, das vueltas, valle azul y verde, baja, frena. Cash, salta se sacude, un torbellino de pelos, en la luz, en mi ropa, un torbellino de amor, pelota, pelota, rock n roll, cable, cable, pedal, camisa blanca, botas negras, peinado a lo morrisey, guitarra, vingala, Blues, Blues, saxo, taxi, maestro, bajo, guitarra, mente extraviada, extraviada, extraviada.

some days, his eyes are full with angst
his arms down his sides, with his fists as closed as his ears
and all I want to say is I know how it is
to be so angry you don't know where to go
because the whole world lights you up like a dry stick of explosives,
how it is to have your feelings being so big they start to feel
like extensions of your limbs,
waving uncontrollably
and all you can do to avoid their friction from setting you on fire
is either to cut them off or keep your arms down your sides

but I step aside, because he can no longer take in my words
his six year old eyes are filled with the nothingness of
an anger so big and unlabeled
but someday, I will tell him and he will understand
I will tell him that even though my blood is not in his veins,
I will cleanse it from soot and silt,
I will be his human shield from this world
I will tear kingdoms apart and slay every last creeper
just to help him level up

and I will uncontrollably, explosively and unconditionally
love him

//

vissa dagar är hans ögon fyllda med ångest
hans armar längs sidorna, med nävar lika hårt stängda som hans öron

och allt jag vill säga är att jag vet hur det är
att vara så arg att du inte vet vars du ska ta vägen,
för hela världen får en att tända som en torr bunt sprängämnen,
hur det är att ha känslor så stora att de börjar kännas
som förlängningar av dina egna armar och ben,
okontrollerbart viftande
och allt du kan göra för att förhindra att deras friktion tänder eld på dig
är att antingen hugga av dem eller hålla armarna längs sidorna

men jag går undan, för han kan inte ta in mina ord längre
hans sexåriga ögon fyllda med ingentinget
av en ilska så stor och oettikerad ilska

men någon dag ska jag berätta för honom och han ska förstå
jag ska berätta för honom att även fast mitt blod inte flyter genom hans artärer,
ska jag rensa det från smuts och sot,
jag ska vara hans mänskliga sköld från den här världen
jag ska slita kungariken itu och döda varenda creeper
bara för att hjälpa honom att levla upp

och jag ska okontrollerbart, explosivt och villkorslöst
älska honom

Hon brukar ha på sig en mössa
Som gömmer en del av långa håret
En gyllene kaskad som inte blöter
Men är ***, lugnande, och skiner
Mössan skämmer aldrig bort ansiktet
Huset till hennes fina ögon, gul, grå, och blå
En blandning som måste bedömas som perfekt
Så tydlig som en plus en är lika med två

Det känns alltid bra att resa söderut
Att flygga utifrån språngbrädan
Och att ta **** tack vare vinden
Som blåser periodiskt när hon andas ut

Jag landar då på hennes mun
Som hyser den hemliga bron
Som väntar på att jag närmar mig för att hälsa på,
Inte varje gång, men det blir alltid en härlig överraskning då

Jag brukar stanna kvar där en stund
Vaggad av vågorna bildas av hennes läppars kurvor
Och inser att man kan väl resa utan att flytta på sig
Jag står här orörlig och kysser henne
Det räcker för att skapa nya banor
Som leder till ett ställe som kallas extas
Ett ställe som kan enbart finnas
När vi är tillsammans,
När det finns inget avstånd mellan oss
När vi är i mitten av en sensuell dans
Det är klart att jag vill ta ingen paus
Men hellre fortsätta tills natten gradvis raderas av solen
Tills det är dags att börja om resan igen.

feel the heat off his cheeks like a love poem
brown eyes beating down
sinking into mine with a definitive
bite.

he smiles while he interrupts our game
and i stare up, hands arranging tiles
astounded by the sheer kindness
of every tiny, comedic, unabashed piece of him.

he looks at me so much
laughs so much
yells my name
as i walk by, hands full.

i want to sit down and read those cheeks
like a book
my lips scanning every crest
kissing eyelids that bless me with that
brown, soft look
across a table.

he is so perfect
so similar to me
i can hardly believe
i get to look at him
hardly believe
i get to smile at him
in those other-world moments
between just he and i
so quietly
while everything else
rages
by.

Jag undrar, känner Lady vad jag känner?
Bjöd ut henne på middag, ville vara mer än bara vänner.
Opera musik, något fint vin, pasta och ***** frikadeller.
Bildar mig en framtid med henne som vackra akvareller, slurpar upp spaghettin och undrar om hon kommer finnas på andra änden.
Men Lady var intresserad av andra grejer.
Eh.
Bagateller.
Sånt som händer.

Ett snedsteg man lär sig av i livets lidande.
Har ändå inte tid för romantik, måste lufsa vidare.
Bort från tragedi, monarki och slavdrivare.
Bort från folk som berikar sig med att tro att alla andras perspektiv av dom är genom en stjärnkikare.


Men man är ju närsynt som få.
Dammar in dimman vill försvinna, övervinna alla hinder men det är svårt.
Ger eloge till alla er som finner fingret ni kan stoppa ringen på, men förstå.
Paniken som uppstår av insikten att tiden rinner, broar brinner,
tjejer som du känner vill hellre vara dina vänner för dom väntar på Mister grå.

**** it..
Det ba så.
Låt det gå
vilken låt
stå på tå
låt musiken föra dig till morgondagen,
glöm igår.
Låt dom skörda,
fortsätt så.
Tills du når
varje mål.
Låt tiden läka alla sår.

Det här är mitt favorit väder
När allt står still
När gräset är grön och täckt av de löv lämnat tillbaka av höstens träd
När solen hälsar, och skymtar ibland.
Och de nakna träd som rör sig av den svaga och härliga vinden.
Den är just den vinden som kommer bärande med vårens uppkomst och dess sjungande fåglar.

The soil covers your bare feet in a powdery gray dust
like you've walked through an old fireplace that hasn't been cleaned
in the days since the last sacrifice.

There's enough wood to keep us warm through the coldest winter
or burn heretics to any cold heart's content.
This land is full of burnt offerings
and lucky rams
where it doesn't even take the word of god to sacrifice your child
just the word of man,
imperfect as the path you walk back from alone.

The deaf blacksmith
Rendered in silent iron the wagon wheels
that they now walked behind
with ever larger ruts
that would eventually hold the whole village.
It’s the shabbes of comfort
When “the rugged shall be made level,
And the rough places a plain;….and all flesh shall see it together….”
He never heard the one that hit him
Hearing wouldn’t have helped they say,
“all the flesh shall see it together”
And all did that hot day, thick with mosquitoes and flies
And a pestilence of lead.
The winds blow through the fallow fields
Tearing at the roots of the waving grass
Though grass is stronger than the winds that whip it
And the many blades hold firm defiantly
We shall not be moved again!
*“all flesh is grass
And all the goodliness thereof is
As the flower of the field;
The grass withereth, the flower fadeth;
Because the breath of the Lord bloweth upon it---
Surely the people is grass.”

even my own mother spurred me on, with the words:
head north...
                  and close one eye,
and you will be a good father,
having been robbed fathering
your own in the girl's jealous demise...
so too back home,
a tornado av kråker
took me like Elijah and the fire-chariots,
only these chariots were menacing,
and shadow-drawn
composed of crows that harked
and harked, and were never to a lessening
bemoaning...
where i called home...
a tornado of crows greeted me,
and i felt to have been tilling the land...
unearthing graven artefacts
with potatoes...
as i walked, tears of sorrow turned to fire...
all i could receive from my
second cherished home was a bunch
of mutineer pigeons ******* all over
Trafalgar Sq., but where
i belonged, to earth bound in foreign tongue,
as i could - śmiechem nadać poza
ciałem rate, i tak jeno dusza, to co jest warte braku
pouczenia o wartość czegokolwieg...
o brother, my Muslim brethren,
you chose the wrong enemy...
you really have chosen the wrong enemy...
had i not been wronged by Europe,
i will make Europe wrong you,
since you have so wronged me;
i will make Europe perform an establishment of ******
in you... i will hurt you... i will destroy you...
i will ask for your mother in Ehel to be accompanied by
me in an act of pillaging furore and take her to
the bed... i cannot practice what that
****** psychopath taught... so few came across
the teaching... and so more fewer embraced it...
to forgive without embracing law
gives us societies such as the ones we live in:
glorifying pranks, and school playground politics...
that famous hand in the cookie jar slapped...
and yet we could have meant so much more...
as we once did, today as of forever,
the beauty stops, the summer is forgotten,
and forever autumn onslaughts the decay
necessarily prescribed to mark our paths differing...
for if you thought yourself as noble
in ascribing to yourself a noble genealogy...
and therefore supposing you were to merely
****** a peasant pawn...
i ascribe myself the same criminality in accusing you,
and your religion, of having no testicles,
but rather testicular cancer in attacking
non-colonial Europeans when post-Colonial
Europeans were to be attacked...
and i guide you toward exclaiming:
as king of a kingdom of no worth crown being donned,
i buried a commoner, a president, on the mount
of King of Vavel... thus i mourned,
having buried a commoner on the mount of Kings...
ascribing me the thought: then aren't all commoners
on equal footing to claim a crown?
why did democracy in Poland thus claim
royalty, why did it express it?
i only wished for our friendship to be of a lessened cataract,
keep your cause and effect to yourself...
even in heaven i will be cloaked in raven claw for teeth
to speak, and raven wing as shroud and shawl...
and your excuses will be like those of your
forefathers... ***** and disgraced under
Imperial Rule of England...
if only you sought a friend in me,
i wouldn't have sought a guillotine in you
to create a positive-plateau of stereotypes against
you and not you, but altogether, just you;
only because you sought to fake your nobility
had your seeking fake itself, and reduce you
to nothing more than a literate peasant,
or the paper-clip man of a law firm.

the night and the frost and the words that they speak
your fingers are frozen, your eyelids are closed
the crests and the troughs of your breath in the air
like the language of winter winds;
harsh tones that never go unheard
beneath your feet or inside your ribcage
or even as the frigid night that entwines itself with you
demanding to be felt

kveld og frost og ordene som de snakker
ditt fingrene er frosne, ditt øyelokkene er lukket
topper og daler av ditt pusten i luften
som språket av vinteren vind;
harde toner som aldri går uhørt
under føttene eller inni ditt brystkasse
eller som den iskalde natten som entwines seg med deg
krevende som må oppleves

Why’d you get locked up then lad?
Oh. I’m locked up?
I know you. You won’t escape lad
Escape from where?

(Jackie Wilson at her majesties pleasure 1884, West Denton, Newcastle)

The sweat rolled off Dominic’s nose.

Its ‘movement’

movement

movement

Uniting.

Meditation takes a person out
from themselves
so far out, without any need
for any additional charge, toll, or need, that when you come back,
even if it’s within
the same body,
you feel

and the glow comes back
on-coming traffic smiles, dead less grace
the worst, and 7am

chess
without a game.
a drool.
an intricacy within
mirage.
hope in the sorry soft gas explosions
and death was heavy enough to fly and give
But not in the normal way
one second, and even joy spills
and the cabbies have begun to scream and break down at each other
even though it’s not a full moon
too many people squashed on a tight balcony
drinking us all away
too many hands
not dancing
it all away


Slugs emigrate across concrete when the soil is wet.
When you wonder why they’ve left.
Its pouring
and you think you recognise a name scrawled in the wet trail.

Single, intimate, observations.

And reasons for the evening to be near.
It will be worth it! – I’LL SEE YOU! –
And now we are allowed to be glorious without price.
And now it’s sad as hell.
And the trees know that.
But the squirrels never do.
And now those words don’t matter.
And now we are allowed.
And now we go.

And the laminate floor
has the weight of a cross.
And the thing is,
you know

(It’s all softly bombed)
Not in a horrific
or knowable
way.

But in God’s good loving
loving
loving
******* for ya.

We’re finally rubbed out.

Crucifying.
And uncrucifying.

Eyes are useless here.

Blackness first.
THEN that soft
‘soft’

dripping.

easy blackness.

Meditating, sat middle
the pentagram of a small flat.
blue white board marker, on ‘easy wipe’ wood flooring.

And if I wake, I can wipe all the lines out.

SO, it went the same.
blue colour of cityscape coming-black light flashing always
across the distance from balcony
a beautiful stillness.
Waves first. Sea. The complete sea. Swimming.
ego. Ego swimming. Ego going down. Hello! And ha!
And no more jokes.
And isolation.
And no more months.
But there were gushes.
Gushes of experiences in, and outside, with individual breathes
and the proximity of love, coming closer
like a germinating hand
guiding you down
into the oceans private concert

Not too close to the expensive parts, or the bad parts,
or anywhere too pristine.
Christ, that’d be
a joke. It’d be funny
and then the surgeon would come and operate
on you;
lifting you out whilst you’re asleep

And it would go like this:

Cancer: Hey! What’s going on?!
Get off! I’ve paid my
rent and don’t wet the bed
anymore,

Surgeon: Don’t care.
Come here...
Oh for **** sake you’re making my day long.
I don’t get paid
for this.
Cancer: Oh yes you do handsome.
Surgeon: Oh yeah!

rest on the long side of your bed.
‘What’d you do at the weekend?’
Where’d you go?

...

banter broke down into spider web
substance
before fading completely, as thoughts begin
to disappear and fly down
into heavier states
from outside you saw a man still dressed
in formal office attire
tie hanging undone around a white shirt, shoes kicked off
beside strange markings on a polished floor. From in,
the understandings
are quite different
fly gently, like a loved one retiring from life
as the single light bulb watches from your ceiling
tensing one last second time in hesitation
then blowing you out with a blink.  

looked into the well where life is buried
and reached down
arms lengthened like dusty pieces of ham down a hole
touching the foetus as it crawls back up,
and up through the highway lines of his veins,
like a rabbit hunts wolves,
like the peach reacts to your bite.

We smoked and ate apple pie as the autumn tattooed
We snapped small pieces off
then ate the mites.

And then when the well filled we made our arms lassoes;
that churned the grain,
turning the quietness into storm,
and back to parts of spring.

You hesitate, touching the ape
like a clown who’s just tossed his life into the air, and juggles it,
like dead poems and hot boiling yeast.
you looked further into the well and found the figments of the ‘Narwhal’
the sea creature with a prominent horn
that shoots from its head-

Early sea farers
used to think the horned mammal was a type of
magical being
it birthed the idea of unicorns
you let the water well mix and join
as we drink coffee today, and the night is less silent
than that of star of apples and gloom
each tarantula that scatters in the red stars of sand is welcome;
and the honey man and honey woman flicker,
through numberless bank checks and bills as knocks arrive
knock after knock after knock
into long vibrational hum

All that remains
is the bursting punch
near the bottom
of oceanic well

As it tightens your grip into the follicle hibernating bears
that speak eloquent words whilst we eat;
the deep groan of munching hands
in the well helps our arms
pull up the glowing carcass as it turns back
into us within our hands, it speaks easily and slow, telling each
servant surrounding
the hole that they should:

‘Dance casually, dance inside my red eyes’.

Some take advantage of melody, as a trust that funds satellites of globe,
as if no one ever dreamed or broke the yoke of more pleasurable things;
one of your arms
is like the way that a crab crawls past over my nose and into our future home

another asks that you aren’t so violent in February
and that the month is a counting mouth that multiplies zero
beside the arms reaching for a pyramidic beauty
under the ***** shell; aborting its children like blood in the snow,
without humanistic style, more in tune with time
than the army of water lifting your throat up,
spits- that poke at us with antlers, undeterred, no legged, mating in the sand

After a while, otherness takes over, and will comes.
And emotion is long shattered,
easing out,
playing skin game and dissipating need, where all will and human comes back
it takes a while.

And our gender has nothing to do with just lust
We are the almost completely blind, as the cliché remembers
Gender is
the lack of gender and the freedom of paradigm
whilst hands are upon love,
And more night(s) turn within us.
dream like bright black stars.

Weekends. Week. Work. Corporations dancing like butterflies on fire. Gone.
Gone
Gone
Gorgeous

nothingness
apart from its face and voice
speaking

“Heyy, how’s it going?”
Projection
No
“Yes... Lover,
Yes yes yes!”
“No.”
skull now linked to the lips of a home
“Correct, correct, correct...” The intangible
darkness, over and over

a rushing
and uncontrollable
heaviness of fire.

foxes in back alleys salute
the black sky with a mongrel scream
and all the animals of the world are linked for a split minutiae,
recognising and respecting the breach;

“You’re hurting... mmmmuh-” Dominic tried to say
in the onslaught.

Converging planes that came from the lips of the spirit crowning his mind.

“You’re not Juuu, Juh Juah Juh.”

He tried to say for the next few hours, as the sun spread down
on the city
and felt a deep
empathy for another one
of its children
attempting to free
itself.

“No.”

how right you are...” The spirit said
as Dominic’s head slumped from exertion.

“You see...” The spirit said seeping into his bones
and killing him;
paramedics zip
the bag
over his face.

“You see...” The voice says again
knocking the lights off
and flinging you
by your throat

Each one letting you
go

landscape sick in multiple elements of confused colour,
parts of buildings, art: growing up in the horizon, new structures
made by thoughts, old flowers inside limbs,
smoking.

“What...” The spirit
said.

sigh at the strange place,
without looking around.
blossoms of mind and traffic
circulated
characters
on a schizophrenic island

two flies ****** invisibly
and grow from the unseen smallness of their passion
and become an instant world
in the Red Mountains.

“What’s up?” Dominic say gloomily,
laugh a little.

“You’re meant to be screaming...
And yes...
Yet another ******* month
without hitting
target.” The nightmare says,

No incorporeal speech
no anger
anymore.

She might have been about twenty five,
dressed in a shade of grey
change
that covered her genitalia
and ******* from ankle up to neck

get used to it all.
raise your chin to the sky and try to blink away from the constant lick
of the beast growing
from yourself, or lover, or day

And grow the chimera
throughout numberless
stages
like a beautiful clay
that cant decide

Finally the meer-hawk looked like a Dickensian peasant
with an intricate smile, dressed all in jail rags
stinking of sweat, *****, and time.
And then we change
again

And her black hair scooped down
into the blackening sand
where the grains accepted her slim weight
through out itself

She was tired and fed up of the back-world today
She left her contract looking around upstairs
and accepted the hit
on her targets

A transference of types in the quaking room.
A quick drop of laughter flys
into the lil bear or a lot; and a snap and a lot of hunger
for us all...

The master of the basement was mostly machine.

The front of his face that we run towards
is a centred and hovering engine
at the far end of the shadow
room
and the stench
from its thought.

a farce and enough
to turn you away
from a really good
steak.

no walls

no matter

a car mouth approaches naked.

dead cats know this, as they lay purring still, licking their paws still,
misery knows,forgetting, and the coldness of the street gave birth

to numberless seedy neon lights
flickering away from the wall less walls
once more

and you know, we
all
have a prayer
that comes
out
here was
mine:

might as well let you know
whilst we’re at it
that this one comes
out, in some accent~~
but is how it’s meant to go

“...as if to prae
inside the rain
as if to move
the moon with small hands
ah cross the yard
and lucky sky

I live in that playce me lass
with ya quiet weiyht
upon me own
of ya li’l voice
that taeks it away

Ya-renuf ta bring
al me Gods back
an pin ‘em te tha walls

Enough ta mayke
al’ me angels breathe
heavy
for even an ounce
of ya grace

Ave begged at tha hands
of jesus Christ
for that tayste
of yeh
me sweet bonny lass
an ya the only lass
‘ahve evva met
that mayde us feel
like ah cuhd heal
without bein less

An I’m lookin at ya now
with al me luv
an ah divent need
ney where to ruhn
as am ah freed dog

and in ya charms

An ‘av ney-where left to luk
but I’ll kip alreet the neet pet
cos ya by me side

an in me arms.”

But now it is rather late my friend, and
we all know how long old accents last,
mine, I cherish, I will say it when cursing
and gone
when lit among friends and when
impressing
new jobs, that I shall leave, such is
my
way
and
i may
see you
again.

den mest afskyelige følelse nogensinde,
et vink, hvorfor,
hvordan kan man være så dum,
som mig

absolut den mest nedværdigende følelse nogensinde,
desperat,
jeg kan se det for mig,
dig der råber af ham i telefonen,
går direkte forbi mig,
dig der snakker med hende,
går direkte forbi mig,
jeg kan høre dine tanker,
desperat,
desperat,
desperat,

absolut den mest afskyelige nedværdigende følelse nogensinde,