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Lazlo Mehl Sep 2014
I will not allow the little things of this world to get to me, I will remain on top and not let the troubles of this world affect me aslong as I aspire to be a better person, I will live a better life, I will not allow my past mistakes to determine my future, those who I loved, I will miss, but that will not control me,those who hurt me, I forgive those who loved me, I appreciate, for aslong as I'm breathing, I will not surrender or except defiet, I will fight aslong as I have sight, I will always see greener pastures on the other side, for aslong as I have a voice, wise words will be my weapon of destruction, as long as I can hear, I will hear that which concerns me, for aslong as I can touch, I will leave my mark of love on your heart.
PEARL SMOKE Jun 2018
Scared Prt 1.
2014
iM Scared Of Losing What
iHave Left.
iM Scared Of Seeing What
iHave Left Go Away.
iM Scared Of Disappointing
My Loved Ones Again.
iM Scared Of Being Reminded
What the reality of Drugs.                        can do once again.
iM Scared iF iM Sober Then Fall
iWont Ever Change again
iM Scared The Drugs Can
Take over me Like it Has before
Once more.
Scared Of Feeling Numb And Live The Whole Drug Addiction Cycle all over.

Scared prt 2.

I Relapsed & Now I'm worried.
Will I Go back to my old ways?
As much as I desire The Feeling of escaping my reality,
I can't live Like that. I don't want to be a drug addict all over again.
The Feeling Is pleasant . The Living of being 1 Is Horrific.

Scared prt 3
2017
I’m scared
Of never finding hope
To believe my life has no worth
To never finding a light
To get lost in the
Darkness of my depression.
Im Scared
To never feel true happiness
To believe I have
No purpose in life.
To see I really don’t matter ..
I’m scared to prove
Myself right.
To really never start a life.
I’m scared to
Then lose my self again
To lonely nights with toxic touches

Scared prt 4

Be aware
I’m not scared like I used to be.
To lose  you, see you walk out.
Watch you leave & end us.
I have drugs.
To replace you,
Forget who you were
Erases our memories & best times.
Be aware
If you do me *****, I don’t care.
Drugs will always be there .
Il depend to forever not feel..
If you leave me, I won’t cry.
I have lines to get me past times.
So please know , I’m not scared.
To be left ,

Scared prt 5
2018

I’m Trapped.
I’m not ok , I’m not safe.
The habits creeping up.
Slowly but rapidly.
I believe I got it together.
I tell myself I got it under control.
But do I really?
Relapsing after 2yrs is making an impact.
I’ve been falling frequently.
For a short time but I’m still using .
It will take ahold of me unexpectedly.
Slowly convince me this Drug life’s worth risking .
I need help .
I look fine.
I haven’t used severely but my minds hyped.
Il Get To that level.
If I don’t reach out in time.
My thoughts are converting slow
I can feel the careless emotions growing.
That’s why I’ve found it so easy to use and get away with it.
“Just today” “it’s only alittle” “I can handle this”
That’s until I build up my tolerance.
Lord Help me .. you know il cause heartbreaks if I turn back to what I Once was..

Scared

I’m so scared.
To get played again .
To get lied and betrayed.
I’m scared of my reaction.
I know il die alive.
I won’t even have the strength to ****** you.
I’d be so broken and just let the world walk all over me.
If you Do me *****
I’d lose it completely.
You’d prove all my doubts correct.
Assumptions I already knew were true in my head.
If you play me, Id lose my head.
Literally, go insane due to confusion & hate.
If you hurt me.
Drugs is what I’m going to be out searching.
Not even ask for an explanation.
I’d be too focused walking straight ahead to my connects house.
If you do me shady.
I Will Be angry at the world.
Scream to the top of my lungs
“WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
I would drown myself in drugs.
I’d hate the world completely for hurting me when I’ve done none wrong.
I’d go So crazy.
How can I So Loyal Be Played With.
Etcetc can’t even write more

Scared prt 6

2018
Im not scared
Anymore .
I don’t know what to feel
Anymore.
I think I’m worried,
I just don’t feel it
Anymore.
My thoughts try to
Tell me something’s wrong.
I Can’t think of anything..
I’m unsure If I’m ok.
I don’t know if I’m
Even thinking straight.
I remember once feeling
So afraid.
I had to seek help on my own .
For the sake of my sanity.
My heart felt a heavy
Storm coming.
It rushed me to look out
Find shelter .
With strong material .
I started moving .
But did I act fast enough ?
Did I act before or after
Time had already passed..

Scared prt 7.
I’m scared
To Relapse & Stay Stuck
To give up recovery
I’m scared to
Look at you and walk away forever.
To just not care wether you believed I truly loved you.
I’m scared
For my love to be trapped
For all My strength to be gone
Lose it all ,
I’m crying.
Addiction will forever live in me
Wether Active or Overcomed
This drug will Always come
Aslong as I’m Happy , Positive
I won’t want to take a hit
But Even if nothing’s going on
My body & mind will randomly itch.
Ive been walking with this for too long to just erase it .
To forget I had a habit .


Scared prt 8
Jan 2018
Im not scared
Anymore .
I don’t know what to feel
Anymore.
I think I’m worried,
I just don’t feel it
Anymore.
My thoughts try to
Tell me something’s wrong.
I Can’t think of anything..
I’m unsure If I’m ok.
I don’t know if I’m
Even thinking straight.
I remember once feeling
So afraid.
I had to seek help on my own .
For the sake of my sanity.
My heart felt a heavy
Storm coming.
It rushed me to look out
Find shelter .
With strong material .
I started moving .
But did I act fast enough ?
Did I act before or after
Time had already passed..

Scared Part 9
Am I Fine.
Will I not rack a line.
Never touch a Rock in my life.

Am I Good.
Will I not Use again .
Will temptations not be seen as threats ?
Can I handle.
My urges to not Tweak again.
Will my triggers Be nothing to worry about?

Will I never feel tempted.
Have I finally over come every Obstacle of addiction?

I’m sorry.
I’ve worsen , I’m stuck once again.
This time it will be harder .
I’m a recovering addict
Stuck in a constant relapse Cycle.
What must I do
Should I sit & wait
On my next down fall ..

SCARED PRT 10

March 2018
I Didn’t notice.
Like always
I believed I had it all under control.
Everything was ok.
Everything seemed fine.
I felt normal,
I would stop soon.

I was Wrong ..
I Fell Down So quick.
I went hard.
No dubs or teeners.
I went straight to a Ball.
I just went all out.


I lost myself again.
I Lost control of the substance.
I Was trapped.
It became a problem.
One I wasn’t aware of.
I Had no recognition of at all.
I Didn’t see that I couldn’t stop.
I kept going
Kept using without seeing the frequency.
The days spent stuck.
I lost touch with reality.
This previous Relapse
Has been the worst in my life .
I haven’t had a binge like this time since 2015.
I used every day .
For 6 1/2 Weeks.
I lost track of the days & time.
I Sniffed & Smoked 2 8 ***** all to my self.

At the time I didn’t see how crazy that was.
Those weeks, an 8 didn’t surprise me.
The amount didn’t shock or Worry me.

I was fine , I had control.
I was doing ok , everything seemed & felt normal.
It was just a small relapse.


I was wrong
I lost touch with reality.
I formed a habit .
I was addicted again .

The sad part is
I’m able to acknowledge this Only through writing.
In real life , my denial mind
I’m able to handle my addiction. I’m ok & Dont have a problem.


It angers me.
Since my 1st Relapse
In August.
I’ve Fallen Very often.
It saddens me.
How I quickly Skipped
The Weight.
Why does it worry me?
My mind will no longer seek a Dub when I’m triggered to use.
It will want Another ball.

Anything less
My Addictive mind
no longer craves.
It now settles for Big.
This relapse has changed the game for my addict ways.
I’ve Relapsed every month
Since August.
I Had it all under control.
I Was able to use and stop.
Just this last time
I completely lost it.

Scared prt 11

I’m scared .
To lose my strength.
Have no durability.
To Give in So quick.
Be that weak
Where I don’t fear Tweak.
Find it easy
To just go seek.

I’m Worried
To reach that level .
Just Relapse constantly .
not care who Knows.
My problems
Have me overwhelmed.
Every day
The Stress grows .
I can’t bare another
Tug & Pull.
MJ Smith Nov 2012
Last night thought to myself wats the meaning of life? Praised God n spread his love right? Sure you'll meet some people that are mean n thn some that are Wat if u meet someone u love? Do I tell tht person tht I love thm or do bottle my emotions ?  Bt Wat if they ask me if I love them? Well god says never tell a lie even if the truth hurts! So tell her I love thn things get complicated bt hw shldnt they get easier ? Ig not but I was told tht if u love tht person alot u fight through some tough times n ignore thm n mental erase thm. So I do so cause I love her n things got easier  but thn wht if we get sick of each other ? U probly will I was told thn they said u gotta keep things new n exciting ! So I did so n it got even easier bt later it got hard again ! Bt it's always gonna get hard bt ur love for tht person should make it easy!
Even though I hate somethings since u love I learn to love. N I hope u do the same. So wats the meaning of life praised god n if u happen to find someone u Lik on the Way maybe u shld hold on to thm aslong as u can! Until the end of time
Dario Nov 2019
We can get away
Palm trees, beach views
Just another day
Showing that I love you
Listening to the rain
Aslong as I'm next to you
When you are around
Is when I feel at home
Look Ma who I crowned
A new Queen for the throne
Laying on the ground
Aslong as I'm next to you
Look at just how far
The way I feel about you
We can go to Mars
Or back down to the moon
Looking at the stars
Aslong as I'm next to you
Meaby Pom May 2018
A wanted desire
A girl with a fire.
A passion in a kiss
A compassion I admire.
A kiss that lingers with the taste of
A genuine draft.
I write not to send but still for you.
I write because this is my craft.
A love, a kiss, a loyalty matched
I love, I kiss only you
Aslong as my breath will last
They ask me what my dying words will be , they
ask me what will my biggest regret be on my
death bed, what my death wish will be , they ask me all these questions of
death yet I'm alive .
But death comes just as swift as the wind , just as fast as the waves on the shore , death has no
time limit like us.
They say before you die your life flashes right
before your eyes , all your regrets , all your
dreams everything layed out like a red carpet.
If I die tomorrow , or if I die today , whenever I die I know I will see you.
I will see your beauty
I will hear your laugh as seldom as I did hear it
I will see your eyes
But most of all I'll see your smile
The one thing that always held me now in your absence.
On cold dark nights you would hold me tight ,
you would smile and say "its okay I'm here" , on
rainy days where thunder and lightening took
over the sky you smiled and said "its okay I'm
here" through every up and down you held me and smiled , holding the pain , fear , the sorrow
away from me.
If dying tomorrow means seeing your smile
again then I shall gladly die everyday
If dying tomorrow means seeing you again I
shall gladly go towards it If dying means being with you in my memories
then its not dying to me its living everyday for
aslong as I remember you.
If I could go back I would hold you every time
you said " it's okay I'm here" and tell you how
much I love you If I could go back I would tell you more often
than I did how much I love you
If I could go back I'd spend everyday-
every minute of everyday and night making you
smile.
Our time together had an expiration date but my love for you never did and never will. My awnser
to their question of death are
My biggest regret will be you not at my side
My dying wish will be to see you , and see you
smile again
my dying words will be your name.
If I die tomorrow before my soul departs from this world I will come find you and hold you one
final time.
I just wish and pray that someday you come
back and smile at me so you can make me whole
again.
Creepstar Jan 2016
I woke up to my girlfriend
And all the things that she does
As she got ready I stopped and stared
Fell even harder just because

She is so amazing
With drop dead gorgeous looks
When she turns to smile at me
Not as much beauty in a thousand books

I've never been so deep
And felt this kind of love
As I rise so steep
Into the clouds above

I could not image
A life where she's not there
I know a life without her
Would leave me torn and bare

Her name like the flower
Grows so wild and free
Aslong as im beside her
I smile because she chose me
J J Jan 13
One (love triangle)
I wanna be your lover,
I don't wanna be his friend.
Don't make me go home yet,
I haven't figured out what to do with myself

He's better looking but does he deform your toes?
  I doubt it,
Maybe I'm just not much fun to be around, maybe I'm a pain.
I'm my only audience as of late and
I've got codine in my liver, smoke in my nostrils and the taste of your tongue
In my mouth, still lingering...
I've got long ago broken bones that linger too and owe a debt in your name
It's so hard to leave a person behind
O but it's such a sin to stay the same age for any longer than you have to.

her teeth are pissyellow like a passive snowball
you were the gift that kept on taking
and I took every breath in strife, choking on rain to see a face that was asleep and too busy
To answer the door even though she's the one that sent me over.

Alas, I cannot leave behind
a stone that I found arest in it's place.

There is no food left, there is no money there's nothing but memories of securer times
but this you know cannot last;
vagabond in the winter with gloveless hand,
May not die but there'll be pain,
But he was headstuck and
clutching dust he swiped from the surface of pinkbricks back in summer when impersonating a banker,
no matter how hard one tries to hide anything
anyone knows the whole story at a second glance
My pharmacist asked if I was ****** again
I couldn't even answer, I couldn't even talk
It's not a burden, it's just a shame,
just want to be alone where no one reminds of my mistakes that I live with everyday--
I'm just a person I once thought myself more as a young person does,

you made me ascend for a second I couldn't believe it when I saw
   you were cutting me down--
Hang em high forty-guns
   and all of them empty
I waited awake as long as I could for her but she never came
O well
bless you even though you forgot to sneeze

And just so you know

I wasn't *******, I was pleading nicely
I just figured I was worth a few minute's attention, sorry for being wrong.

You were always wrong

You were always wrong

You were always wrong.

(Two ) (honkytonk mania blues/streetket laced with 'tism)

I drag pain behind my ev'ry step, don't you think it's a sin?
Long distance walk left my body feeling hungover
I collapsed at your door and you still won't let me in...
I sat on your stairs and raced the sunrise to get sober...
By the time I gathered my senses I'd already missed the train.
Saw you got your new love, she looks like an uglier version of your sister,
you know I'm no one to judge but *******! She looks just like your sister.
I was aimless in life once, babe, but that was back when I missed ya.

Three ( mankysam+abandoned/abused+ sadsong)
1.
I live on borrowed time
I'm inlove with Mary Hilligoss
Our eyes match in their hauntedness
But they hold lifetimes behind them neither of us could know about

I've got a best friend I like a little and love alot
She OD's on otc tablets just to pass the time
Maybe you know her but I wouldn't like to know why if you did.
When I see her heading my way in the street I nonetheless slip like Tyson on ice.
I find *** repulsive these days but my arms are always open for talking
Just so long as she gives me an hour's notice.
I was inlove with her once, I truly was,
But just because it mattered doesn't mean it should've happened,

This life will strip you to nothingness in time,
The question is a matter of whatever you wish to pose and when, who really cares for why?
An artist only stands to lose it all when they no longer believe they need a muse.

2.
Time brandishes a change too immeasurable to be expected to be noticed
Much less confronted. Broken dishes and screaming confusion across the room broken choruses reprise all too distant and muffled thankfully, just like yesterday.
I was juat a child why do I still want to say that I wasn't scared?
And now the only consistent reliance only shelter of love a door I kept shut hitherto before I couldn't breathe and thus had to let it open
I prefer to be alone more days than not truthfully I know why but I don't mind.

3.
It was new year's eve and I couldn't shake the pains
So I had to ask and wait for a reply; his yes is like gold on the ears
I've walked on blistered feet and bled before,
I've walked on broken feet just to **** their pain and it's worth choking back how ever many tears
Isn't that the way of life mankysam?
up all night just to lay head against the brick wall with my fists at my hips
I havent seen it all but I know I've seen quite enough;
Your exocidal taunt of control you hold back so clearly like you hold open a door,
Like the first time dealer to the winning stack with his head thrown back and the light overhead burning his face clear enough for a blind man to see
I'm not dumb, nor lack the will to confront, I'm just lazy.

Mankysam is the solace,
  he wears above-the-law medallions across the barrels of his motor
(
salute to bonjour and the glowing colours
  that crowded the place--walls and a floor--
To a scene. So long to it all I'm going somewhere I've never been next year and that's the end of it.
)
One day will be the last day you and me ever meet mankysam

Today is not that day but I'm gonna make what I get from us last

     atleast for aslong as I can do so

What a joy to live calm lovingly hating everyone as they pass by and feeling no guilt for doing so.

I plan on making things better but I've made no plans yet
I know well enough I'm good enough to do the best I can,
If only for you

Mankysam.

My brain has been broke or breaking for years now I think it's just time to accept the damage is never done until no more can be inflicted,

And I swear I saw getting married but I no longer see anyone now
And I know God themself is capable of crisscrossing people who get too comfortable, so I don't seem to settle in anywhere at all.
But when Sammy gives me the call saying that he's near
I get dressed sharp as a knife and smile
so tall now in the mirror, like deserted grass.
Smile and forget all my stupid little matters.
I ain't reading all that!! I'm a footprint in my garden not a footnote in anything, don't get it twisted
SirDlova Mar 2014
You claim that you love me but you only making me your fool
You said I'm forever yours but all you meant was for aslong as you can
Lying to people and say we ok won't make you cool
Let's call it off before anyone gets hurt
I'm already hurt but I won't show
I'm always alone no one to hold
Whether its raining,sunny or cold
My heart is cold as a snow
My lips are dry,kiss has turned to an allergy for me
My trust,love and care are no were to be found
Will I ever love again?I don't think so
Not as far as I know
Women are nothing but...women
They don't care
Most of them
All they care about is their make ups and glamorous look,tell me is that fair?
While I'm busy loving her with all my heart
She's busy braking other peoples heart
But its fine..I'm strong
If I cud ever see her again I would jus say "I loved you"..but that's past tense
I love u! I stil do
But hurting my self won't make u love me like I do..its over I guess
Deuces!
I wish u nothing else but success
No bruises
Please..take care xoxox
Livingdeadgirl Jan 2015
Okay, let's start back when I was ten (any farther, and someone might cry)
I started reading 12.6 and my favorite was/is adult romance. My mom didn't care aslong as I didn't say the B.S. that I learned in them. But, unfortunately guys that were ages, and I quote 15-49, and a 52 yr old had tried f-ing me/ told me how they wanted to f me. Well, for the most part, I looked older than what I was, so the guys ages 15-29 had a valid excuse (I did look 21yrs old) but as soon as I told them my age,(and this had gone on until I was 15) they became regretful for what they did, and soon we became friends, but when I told the guys of the other age groups, they weren't, instead they still tried it (the 52yr old was my sisters fathers cousin Booner, whom I silently nicknamed *****, and he always called me his " little girlfriend" well he kept trying to kiss me which was GROSS, and he had tried to **** me, my cousins were the only ones that saw this and helped me and taught me defense) now anytime someone startles me, I lash out in defense automatically. (Funny thing is Booner stopped messing with me when I was about 7, cause he had started it back when I was 5, luckily my cousins were around) ( You see the day started out normal. Well, me, my mom, and my one brother and my sis were going to leave. Booner had said to me"Bye, little girlfriend" he leaned his head into the car to kiss me, so I wound the window up on his head and yelled at my mom to "Floor it!" She sat in the drivers seat laughing, while my sisters dad was outside on the ground laughing)
Unfortunately, this is true and f-ed up. :/
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
While I’m around
You don’t need anyone.
By your side
You’ll never fear anything
You need love ?
Il give you much more.
Want a friend?
This here is everything
Aslong as you keep me with you
You’ll never be lonely
You’ll never cry
You’ll never feel pain
You won’t ever need to stress or worry.
Aslong As you keep me with you
You’ll never hurt.
You’ll never feel any type of disappointment.
I’m Your Lucky stone.
Together? We’ll experience better things.
Keep me around, il better you every time.
Imagine me as you wish.
Il grant you every wish
You need something? Il give you better.  Keep me with you darling let’s adventure
Meaby Pom May 2018
A hand I reach to the tulip in my
garden
A greet to this life I found new
meaning
A family I want, our love will not be
forgoten
I say forever and mean it, aslong as im
breathing
Regardless of the results, I'll be here
darling
Till we are there we will just be
dreaming
I love you baby, you are absolutely
charming
Shannon Jeffery Mar 2014
Mother
mum
for the days we spent together
I will remember forever
My heart is sealed to yours
Love so deep, touches our cores.
forever my heart will be your stone
never broken nor alone.
You're my guardian angel, my heaven.
I will be your rock even if broken.
forever my heart, your token
the least I can give
for aslong as we love and live.
Dedicated to my wonderful mother and grandmother
PEARL SMOKE Dec 2017
But your boyfriends feelings.
Have you not thought that You will Lose Him Due To Using ?
Have you not thought about how you’d make him feel and betray him? The heartbreak you will cause.
I have Thought, But He never Thought about How his actions would hurt my feelings. He’s never cared wether tears would run down my face . He’s always put his happiness above Mines.
Aslong as he’s having a good time He Has nothing to Care or worry about. Doesn’t mind me feeling hurt for that night doesn’t care or feel bad about how much and how long I stayed up crying.
He’s Triggered me To Relapse Anyways. & Still then Does he care more about his feelings rather than the ones He made feel Before relapsing.
If I go back To the old me, I’d forget about him anyway. I turn cold and heartless . He’d become extinct in my Addict memory. I Stop loving , I stop feeling and everything attached to that gets forgotten with it.
PEARL SMOKE Sep 2017
I Don't Want To!
I'm nearing my sober views & i know your scheming
Leading me to go and find you.
Please Stop
I can't do this
I can't hold you
Understand we must keep apart.
I know Your the main damage
Idk how you manage
To lure into my mind
Making me believe all these lies!
I know drugs are not right
Their is happiness I just need to search hard to find.
Stop it Babylove
Leave me , let me be
Get out of me
Set me free
I want to be normal
I do want to live sober
I don't want to hate Nomore
I've been miserable for too long
Since 5th grade I've been hating
I want to like myself
I want to feel proud
I want motivation
I mainly want to Accept myself
To feel pretty & confident
I deserve to smile
I'm tired of this froun and negativity.
Baby Love please help me in Another way without your taste
Make me hate you
Make you be the reason I gain strength.
Make your love be the reason why I shouldn't go back.
Remind me That using you is wrong.
Although it's the only thing that's ever Treated me best .
I'm now confused and I know that's you getting into my head
Your switching up my mind right now as I text
Your right...
Babylove how could I forget
Aslong as am With I don't need worry about all this
Eris May 2019
I am what you see
I am not what you believe
I'll stay with you as aslong as you breathe
Even when you fall asleep
PEARL SMOKE Sep 2017
I'm done
With Our love &
anything involved
with you.
I can't continue on with this ****.
I want both SS
Sober & Single.
Find me a new life outside of you.
I'm Always suffering
I'm sad, Down & frusterated.
I'm always told
"Your young & beautiful"
"There are better men in the world"
I contemplated at first.
Saying il never love another.
I shouldn't think like that.
I shouldn't hate Love because of 1 that Ruined and broke my heart.
I have hope.
I don't want to smoke dope.
Il one day be happy.
Feel good naturally.
Someone will come across me
Who is a true Bf
Who will not make me feel bad
Who will truly love me for me.
At the mean times
I'm done being played silly
I'm going to focus on my Sobriety.
Eventually someone New will come between me & treat me how I'm deserved to be.
I'm a great girl who can do amazing things.
Aslong as I'm played dearly fairly.
Looking forward To a real love.
The one I had, Well You
lost a good one
just emma Nov 2019
KEEP YOUR SECRETS FROM ME.
KEEP YOUR LITTLE LIES.
COULD THIS BE ANY HARDER?
JUST FIGURE OUT THE WORDS!
COULD YOU BE ANY COLDER?
BUT OF COURSE,
ASLONG AS YOU'RE SATISFIED.
Scott R Anderson Apr 2017
you could do a good deed
by fixing me with some mead
go any speed you need
aslong as you succeed
i am but a noble knight
requesting the bar for a pint
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
I’m scared
To Relapse & Stay Stuck
To give up recovery
I’m scared to
Look at you and walk away forever.
To just not care wether you believed I truly loved you.
I’m scared
For my love to be trapped
For all My strength to be gone
Lose it all ,
I’m crying.
Addiction will forever live in me
Wether Active or Overcomed
This drug will Always come
Aslong as I’m Happy , Positive
I won’t want to take a hit
But Even if nothing’s going on
My body & mind will randomly itch.
Ive been walking with this for too long to just erase it .
To forget I had a habit .
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
Ive hurt
Every time I lied.
I’ve beat myself over
For denying what was true
I care deeply for you
Though you see lies
I don’t make you a fool
I don’t intend to
I hate the nights
Where I have been wide awake
Were you asleep think
I’m dreaming too
It’s hurts me so much
That I can’t be true , I can’t resist
i breaks me down that I
Relapsed ,
Wanting not to do but
addiction manipulatesr Too
I hate that as I lay you
You must imagine I’m having a good time .
When I’m High
You imagine that I’m enjoing
Not knowing all I think is how
much more this ***** tearing me apart.
I’m crying.
Addiction will forever live in me
Wether Active or Overcomed
This drug will Always come
Aslong as I’m Happy , Positive
I won’t want to take a hit
But Even if nothing’s going on
My body & mind will randomly itch.
Ive been walking with this for too long to just erase it .
To forget I had a habit .
BABY IT HURTS ME
I’m continuously Struggling
To Get over everything
Be able to resist.
ITS HURTING ME
Baby I’m thinking , I’m breaking
I’m tearing.

— The End —