what do i do now?
i felt like banging my head on my desk and told myself,
"moon, why do you have to be so sad all the time?"
i hate that i'm like this.
light is always taken from my eyes and every time we meet eyes,
i always feel like it'll be the last time.
because i truly don't belong here.
i've been saying this for years now and i only speak the truth.
mom,
i never told you about the time that i tried to end my life and woke up the next morning only to act like nothing happened.
dad,
i never told you the reason why i started crying at the store out of nowhere.
it's because i'm tired all the time, dad.
living beats the life out of me.
sister, brother,
i never told you how i locked myself in my room and cried so hard i couldn't breathe.
or the countless times i laid on my back and felt tears silently stream on the sides of my face.
because i'm tired of trying to make this work.

snip
snip
snip
my scissors go to work,
cutting away
the people "i don't need"
but blood is staining the paper
and only some of it is theirs.

This world is filled with masks.
Some people match the mask.
While others hide in it.

Some people manifest the mask.
While others ache in it.

Some people live the mask.
While others cry in it.

Some people are the mask
While others lie in it.

In a world of masks, who really is who they say it is?

Your anger is slowly
poisoning
my heart.

Its turning blue
with each day.

It'll be dead
soon enough.

And all there'll be left,
is coldness
and ruthlessness
in this body of mine.

After many years of thought,
I reached a conclusion.

My life has no meaning.

I have no reason for my existence,
No idea what to do with it.

But at least I'm not lying to myself.

The world full of distractions,
Hiding the fact that death inches ever closer

With every move we make.

Some might find meaning in helping others,
But you can help others if you can't help yourself.

Maybe I should die.

That's the point of it all, isn't it?
To suffer?

Everything dies out, eventually.

Even the universe,
The never-ending flow of time.

The only reason to live is to suffer.

And everything in between that
Is boring.

Don’t fall in love with me.
There are days when I get sad without a reason and I just stare at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face.

Don’t fall in love with me.
On those days, I don’t talk to anyone. I just bury myself in my bed and think about how I became this mess of sadness.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will become attached to you and I will cry myself to sleep if you don’t text me good night before you go to sleep and I will convince myself that it’s because you got tired of me.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m too much. I will depend on you. I need attention, much more than other people. I’ll talk to you in metaphors and make you one. I’ll write poems about you and opening up my skin at 2 A.M.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I couldn’t stand you coming home to find me on the bathroom floor shaking and crying, with blood spilling from my wrists. I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in your eyes.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will pour everything I’ve left of me into you, every bit of love, until I have nothing to give. Until I become completely empty.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m scared that my sadness is contagious.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will replay your sweet words in my head when I hate myself so much that I want to die. Your words will be the only thing that make me stay.

Don’t fall in love with me.
You will live in fear. You won’t be able to leave me, because you’d know if you did, I wouldn’t have anything to live for.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Before I met you, there wasn’t a single person who could’ve made me stay. You’re my reason now.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Because I will fall in love with you.