I am running

I am running away from my past
For I'm tired of dwelling there

I am running away from my feelings
Yet I always end up circling back

I am running away from from most thoughts
For they remind me of too much

I am trying to run away from many things

But my heart
Is running
Towards you

I thought
I would be lonely
Much longer

But then
You came along

Soft eyes
Fluffy hair

Cute smile
Attractive stare

I thought
I would be lonely
Much longer

But now I have you

"Father, why do you yell at me?"
"Because sometimes you're too much"

"Father,why do you hurt me?"
"So what you understand pain"

"Father, why won't you hug me?"
"Because I won't always be here"

"Father, when will you find help and get better?"
"When the time comes"

"Maria, why do you yell at yourself?"
"Because my own mind is too much"

"Maria, why do you hurt yourself?"
"So that I understand pain"

"Maria, why do you avoid me?"
"Because it'll hurt less when I'm gone"

"Maria, why won't you find help and get better?"
"Because you made me this way, father"

If I were a better person,
I'd tell you that I've liked you
The way you consume food
not caring what others would think so
Your smile that all along
has been my medicine
I liked the way you scold me
and call me stupid things
I was happy with the very idea
that you became a friend.

But I am me,
not the person I'm expected to be
The complications gave in,
all the best I've had within
I was a candle with no candlewick,
nowhere to lit a fire in
I cannot tell you that I have liked you,
in the next life, I promise to.

some prefer to see the ugly in life,
pick the rotten fruit,
the dimmest path.
they see the clouds on the horizon when the sun is shining bright,
neglect the good,
rain hate on those they
used to recognize for
who they are.
there are those.

but i, i love to see the bright blue sky,
the sparkling lakes,
the cheerful flower.
i love the joy in the faces around me,
the bright drops of good deposited in all.
i don’t see the need to see the world from their eyes.

i would be rendering myself blind.