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I've never been good with words
Each thought is from lyrics heard
Losing myself in every piece
Till they all become a part of me
Or am I these things I've never written?
Only ideas that stir from somewhere hidden


Inside my own head, trapped, as my mouth works silently
Trying to speak, violently


I wonder what it's like to be somebody else
How hard is it to think for one's self?
I'm back at this familiar place
Yet nothing ever feels the same
Nothing ever feels the same


Have I just become you?
I've idolized everything you do
Every syllable you sing,
From the sound of your voice to your eyes shining.
My obsession is me
My obsession is me

And I must say,
It feels so good to be so lost.
The keys have never lied to me;
They really only sing
Echoed notes to my favor:
Utmost passion, pain, pining.
Four worn walls of floral
Patterns once were vibrant.
Torn and tattered blossoms of
Pastels in alignment.

There is a view of the terrace,
But my song cannot be free.
The sill is chipped and window locked,
Sun’s outline halos, mockery.
My hands don’t shake across my board
Nor tremble ruined red lacquered.
Composing now my newest start
Arranging how I want to feel and
Fill my place with hopeless heart.

Serenade my soul, please,
Even with my mistruck keys.
The shadows grow so long here,
Dear, they always frighten me.
Dark hair turned amber gold,
Iridescent,
So I’m told.
But I’ve only love for which I cannot hold.

I do not play with another,
Lest they feel the need.
No one else can play the same;
My jumbled notes? Your misread.
Regardless of me all,
The dust collects around.
Yet shimmering like diamonds
As they catch the sunlit crown.
But silently they fall away,
Hiding faded footsteps where no one stayed.
And so I no longer wait for them;
Press the pedal yet again.
Find their portraits on the porch—
Mourning sound my keys had then.

I see you’ve gotten the old brass doorknob to finally let you in,
But you’ve disturbed the patterns on the water-damage within.
Come and sit beside me now on this wooden bench
Creaking gently through my chamber with no chance for French
Exit as you’ve entered now.
The warm light
Cascades on my
Ivory.
Touch on me your melody.
It may not ring as it once did,
But I shall share it as we wish.
This started as a non-rhyming poem, but I’m too beginner to feel comfortable without a rhyme scheme. I imagined a French style room almost bare, with an old piano.
Rotate the leaf to see the thorns
beneath the face turned to the sun
there you’ll find a secret font
waiting for a soul that hurts

the smallest spikes draw fresh blood
slicing skin once thought whole
dismemberment is not their goal
instead the harm is life restored

rivulets pressed into the flesh
they’ll leave a mark when held fast
this is desired when the world
would do much worst if allowed

distraction spun from nature’s bite
now temporary in the rush
forgetting comes from the depths
only visited, not permanent

the light shines far too bright
with a shame few would accept
now the shade offers aid
bleeding comfort from pain’s recruits.

© 2018. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20180418.
“Pain’s Recruits” is a study in the use of pain in the face of a world with its own thorns.
portals,
boundaries,
encased snapshots,
an edit.

a consumable fragment,
a glimpse,
palatable.
And filled it with your fatal presences,
The best a Texas Hill Country
Morning when the bluebonnets wept
While our bodies entwined
A sparrows song,
Your eyes enveloped the light
Of first day and I swear I could
See through Heaven's eyes,
When we shattered the noctirnal
And stroked the suns burn
Merely with unified cravings,
The deer crossed an unspeakable
Verse under the parting night,
I collapse in fatal gratitude
Taking willingly
The thorn of your memory;
Stuck intimately with the rising sun
And born of the wound
Was filled a cup
Encompassing the four things
Love:
Pain which your lips
Promised never to cause me :
Passion which endured as much as time
Swallows the years and closes the
Mouth of the things we remember:
Memory which sustains my soul and erodes my body:
Loyalty to the deceit that in some
Place when we were as perfect frames
In Time's womb
Eternal and everlasting
Where I pray as a Pagan
To return where no one can,
Still my cup empties with gratitude
And overflows tears I cannot
Contain within the spherical
Shell of your precision,
Cut deeply;
And with a despairing gratefulness
my cup runneth over.
She was but an image in my head
One I once believed
Would help make easy passage
Far past all dread
But who am I
To deny
What her essence had already achieved
Came at a heavy price
To truly evolve
With life advice
To forge paradise
Was not an effort for the weak
Even when fate seemed bleak
My admiration
Of her loyalty
And dedication
To better her own faults
Continued to grow
Even in tested days
She still always amazed
What could help write
A fairytale narration
Not unlike that
Of Beauty and the Beast

Constant melodies emerge from the soul
Looking to try to hold her
When the day turns sour
Poetry much like this
Is hard to dismiss
To immortalize what words I wish to say
When times might render me silent
To what my heart hopes to occur
It is not but secret she is blind to
And her holding my being to the highest principle
When my ego took over
Only betters what it is I see
In the glimmer of her Eternal Jewel
As I continue to pray
Each day
For the hope to capture that glow
On the rings
To help sew
The miracle in our meeting
Into a fabrics of creation
As she is the first to make me feel
That I actually deserve a chance
At everlasting happiness

The very fact we met is a miracle
Enough to contemplate
If an angel took favor
If the chance encounter
Hadn't been brewing all along
Spinning verse of lyrical
As there is no debate
It is a thing to really savor
To have such fate in another
After finally getting to shred the dark ties
In turbulent and terror
To find another who understood
Exactly why
I saw the starlit sky
When the world seemed cloudy
To which my own faults
Threatened to drive her out
Proving myself to be but the greatest fool
As I worked to tear the castle walls
And slipped her a key
To which when she found herself ready
To find inside
The truest of treasure I can offer
In hopes they are the same
If not greater
Then what she once told me she admired
So when the morning rose
And we found ourselves
In the gaze of each other
As I cloak myself
In the Phantom veil
Of a being molded by favorites
And heroes
To hopefully ascend
Beyond the end
Of the memory in which
Brakes the barriers set on us
By forces beyond our control
Giving us the edge
To truly seek out
What it is we long desired
Of heart and of mind
To define
The imprints we leave
Upon the globe
Immortalizing
And
Strengthening
Our push to
Defying
And
Realizing
The cruelty of what laid
Behind us
And forging empires of eternal jewel
Captivating all who witness
Its glory
Here is this voice
it is just a whisper
would you turn your head
to lean in closer?

Imagination says
there is a space
where I am not a chore,
and a place
where I am not cold anymore

Reality says
there is an abyss,
where I am a water glass
that can't feel a kiss
as you turn your head
what did you miss?
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