You left me because I was depressed

2. I was destroyed and lot worse,
you loved me unconditionally.

3. I remember our Skype calls, I remember your smile.
and how I’d fall asleep in front of you with one eye open to see if you were looking.

4. You noticed, you also noticed the cuts on my skin.
You looked at me with a half smile and told me you loved me.

5. I loved you too, I’d also like the way when we held hands you’d move your thumb around in circles like you were reminding me that I was yours.

6. You were my best friend, I’d tell you so many stories and you would just listen, you would make me smile.

7. I remember your laugh, I’d look at you like there were galaxies in my chest and one day they hurt.

8. You were like drugs that took awhile until the bad effects came.

9. like cigarettes. You hated that I’d smoke but you would still kiss me regardless.

10. The short term effects include struggling to breath.
Funny, because I choked on your existence.

11. You loved to cuddle me, you kept me close.

12. but you said I was too close, Im sorry that you were addicting.
Im sorry for wanting more.

13. You were the one to draw me in…

14. You realised I was toxic and started breathing different fumes

15. We no longer speak and our memories mean nothing to you.

You looked at me like you were insulted I hadn't noticed,
when I asked what it was that you carried around your neck.
As you pulled the pendent out from under your shirt,
you said you'd been wearing it all week.
But I already knew.
I'd been staring at the cord it's on,
wanting to feel it between my fingers all week --
and have the dark hair on the back of your neck brush my hands.
I'd been seeing it for days from behind you and beside you.
I can't help but notice you constantly, hourly,
so of course I saw the black cord around your neck.

If it doesn't keep you up at night
You probably don't love it enough.

Do you remember Saturday mornings?

Passing notes across the table,
Exchanging juvenile expressions,
Laughing and learning
About who we really were.

It was during this time with you
I discovered myself.
Now I'm lost again, I need your help.

I have forgotten Saturday mornings,
And Friday afternoons,
And every late night.

Do you remember Saturday mornings?

do you know how many
people walk their way
through life never wanting
to be more than what they
are, never giving their selves
the chance to open their
hearts and be bold and
risk it all? do you know
how many people don't
write the stories they want
to share, the poems they want
to write, the songs they want
to sing, the art they want
to make? do you know how
many people deny their selves
the opportunity to be brave, the
chance to be bold, to live in
bright colors instead of black
and white? do you know how
many people live in a cage,
afraid to love, afraid to live,
afraid to hope, afraid to feel,
afraid to be? do you know
how many people don't let
their souls be vulnerable and
beautiful and wonderful? i
hope you're not one of them.

In the end
it's not going to matter
how many breaths you took,
But how many moments took your breath away!


Shing Xiong