what's it like to be happy,
but still always crying?
what's it like to be alive,
but still feel like dying?

what's it like to feel normal
when your "normal" is "ill"?
what's it like to be restless
but forced to sit still?

I'll tell you what it's like,
it's hell and a half,
to be 17 and fading
from rainbow to black.

watching yourself wither,
watching your mother cry,
tell me, what's the point in waking
when it hurts to be alive?

I try to hope for the best
but you know how it goes;
you can't smell the roses
through the blood from your nose.

It feels like God is picking on me,
saying "Haha look at you!
I'm going to give you the grandest dreams
but you'll be gone by 32."

But keep your head high,
and your shoulders never low,
so can you walk with courage into the fire
when it's finally time to go.

Saying goodbye
To someone you love
Is like reading the final page
Of an amazing book.

As the last chapter ends
You begin to notice
Just how beautiful
And perfect
The plot always was.  

You appreciate the joy
And even the pain
As you read and thumb
Through every page.

Finally understanding
The moral of the story,
You realize you've reached
The end of this journey.

Although the last sentence  
Is the most difficult to read
Another great book awaits
Once you turn the final page.

Eventually you may stumble
Upon yet another great find.
Or maybe you'll return
To the book you left behind.

You may just discover
Once all is said and done
That this particular book  
Was your favorite story
All along.

instead of saying
do
instead of judging
help
instead of worrying
be
instead of hating
love
instead of hurting
heal
instead of taking
give
instead of crawling
FLY