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 Aug 2014 Layla Thurman
Fel
It's hard to hold on to the Rod

When the Iron burns my hands
The concept from the LDS doctrine of the iron rod.
Maybe it's the
champagne or
maybe it's faith
But it's strange
anyway
That we've never
shared space
kind of
deranged
in a way
that I can't
kiss
your
face
I hope it's okay
that I say it
It's on my mind
everyday
I've had so much champagne
I can't deny what I'm saying
it's insane that your face
blinds my right of purveying
or in saying
sometimes saying
it's a game that we're playing
i'm not playing babygirl
it's [your name] i've been saying
it's your face i've been blaming
on every single curve
catch me cursing the verse
your name leaves on my shirt
i disperse it
well of course it's a curse
a voice
I haven't heard yet
so of course i'm submersed
& of course it is yours
& you
the most gorgeous of all
and me a thrown ball in Autumn
watch me fall
watch me fall
watch me fall
watch me fall
ready for fall
sometimes i wish i could stop breathing

so i could stop thinking

so i could stop seeing you,
and her

and feeling all alone.
 Aug 2014 Layla Thurman
ASB
you told me
about what you wanted
your future wedding dress,
future kitchen,
future kids to be like.
and I kept thinking
gods, let me be the one
to give it to you.

I never even wanted to get married,
never wanted any children, and
your imaginary kitchen is
positively hideous.
some people want the same things
out of life, but
we absolutely don't.
still, I could settle for a wedding
if it's you across the aisle;
and maybe I want kids, you know,
with your eyes, or at least
your heart, your grace, your forgiveness.
we'll talk about the kitchen.
look, I'm not gonna tell you
"I love you", not yet,
and I'm not writing you more songs,
and I am not wasting more words,
just these, just the once that tell you
whatever you want, it's yours,
if you'll still have me.
I am not here I've lost my mind.
Somewhere in the realms of time.
With vacant eyes and empty soul,
I survive on bread alone.
Drowning in my calls for help
Choking on a stuttered yelp
I reach my hand out to be saved.
Praying my faith won't be in vain.
 Aug 2014 Layla Thurman
AJ
I don't have much left for you to take, but I swear, I'll give it all.

Really? Because you said you'd give me the moon, but I guess you don't recall.

I've poured my life into this mess, can't you give me one more chance?

You made promises you never kept, and I'm expected not to take a stance?

You're a ***** and a mistress cruel, but I just can't stop loving you.

Begging is for dogs, but I guess your true colors must bleed through.

All these trips and traps have steered us wrong, but I'm alright if you're with me.

You set all the traps. I did most of the tripping, besides you over your feet.

Don't you remember that one day? When we were joined in the eyes of God?

"Till death do us part", well now I'm dead on the inside, and you're a fraud.

If you truly hate me so, then I'll just have to be on my way.

My things are packed, and my flight is booked. So actually, you can stay."
It's hard to think this is goodbye. Will we ever meet again?

Hopefully not. You were always the wrong clichés.
Collab with the lovely Spencer Dennison, linked below.
http://hellopoetry.com/spencer-dennison/

If you could not guess I was the heart-breaker.
If honesty was a skill it'd be something you lack,
It's so hard to keep going  as I still look back,
Maybe I'm a fool, a fool for unforgiving love...
When your heart rips open is that finally enough?
Simplicity was all I've seen,
Wish you would still hold my hand as I walk along the streets.
A bed fit for two but it's only me,
Use to lay, use to rest but now i can hardly sleep,
As nightmares have come and taken over dreams.
If someone told me lonieness is where my life would lead,
I would close my eyes, block em out and never hear them speak.
Think it's time to rework these mental images, as I press Delete.

Passion, where have those lips gone?
Why must it take losing love to write the perfect song.
Why must it take, losing love...to write the perfect song (guitar playing)
uhmmm, she's gone away,
Yeah,
But I would erase this song just for you to stay.
Uhmm
But still...
Why must it take losing love, to write the perfect song.
Uhmm..why'd she go away. (Last guitar strum)
Wrote this to Sam Smith's - Stay With Me
 Aug 2014 Layla Thurman
kiera
Onetime, I hit rock bottom
but it wasn't really rocky at all
it was actually pretty soft
it felt like my bed
in the middle of a messy room
that went unnoticed
because there was nothing
to provoke me to care
there was no feeling
soft was just a sensation, no emotion involved
I could've been laying on a rock
but it would've just given my nerves
a different pattern of stimulation
it would've just been another irrelevant reality
separate from me.
The phrase was coined "rock bottom" to scare people away
because feeling nothing is worse than feeling a rock
bludgeon your body
because when you feel nothing there is no reason
to ever come back to the surface
and live.
Sorry this is very depressing and I'm not sure if it makes sense.
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