One day you'll know,
and you'll come back to me.

You give me bliss
In times of sorrow

You hand me love
In my world that consists  of hate

An endless black hole in my heart
Reminds me of a loneliness 

Your strong words of truth
Bring me comfort and support 

Voices of serenity remind me of you
They make me feel safe

No I won't let you go
I refuse

Your my true love
My heart only wants you

I...I love him... He doesn't love me. I am a pawn, in this chess game of love and  he is the player, he decides my fate,  he chooses what I do. He can make me skip school, have *** with him, and if he leaves me and never talks to me...I wouldn't want to take a shower because i would be afraid his scent would wash away from me, I'd stay up all night thinking and remembering the way he would breath, how he would laugh and his smile. I would crave his touch and I wouldn't go to school. He controls me. And I don't know if I want to be controlled. I'm so terrified that tomorrow he will choose that he no longer needs me and I'm terrified he will leave me.

Evening meadow in November
Glowing in sun's golden ember
Wind whispers in the grasses
Kestral screeching as he passes
Giant storm clouds in the distance
But above my head the sky is clear
Birds singing in persistance
Calling for the attention of my ear

I hate myself not because I think I'm ugly or stupid or even unlikable,no, I hate myself because I can give you my heart, watch you tear it to a million pieces, throw it on the ground,stomp on it,spit on it,as if it was the most disgusting concoction you'd have ever seen. You'd just walk away and leave it there.I'd pick it up dust it off and run after you to give it back.

I'm really tired.
I'm really exhausted.
I'm sick of getting hurt by you time by time.
I hate getting deserted by you
All those fake promises
All those false hope and encouragements don't mean anything to me anymore
All the attempts I tried to build back the friendship.
No just no.
I know you would never understand me maybe because you look down on me cuz I'm suicudal.
All I really need is someone to make me smile to understand me and not give up on me.
Just so you know,I'm fighting this battle alone with a broken sword and shield.