..She tried to find herself
in places that didn't exist..

Do we dare dream to fall?, to fly... to go crashing through the bedroom door
Where we tumble and roll and slowly lose all of our clothes
Lost under the sheets we ride shooting stars
Circle the sun in the blink of an eye
Catch a glimpse of eternity inbetween the beat of our hearts
Do we dare turn the page and find ourselves living a storybook life
Hopes and wishes blooming like flowers all night and all day
And when we read between the lines we find a love so perfect it's almost cliche
If we dare to sneak a glimpse and skip to the last page
Would it be a black and white classic of two aged hands holding a heart that still beats wildly and madly and impossibly in love
Dare we..

I thought that saying goodbye,
would be the hardest thing to say to you.
And in a way it was,
but in another it wasn't.
It felt sad; it felt exhilarating.

I thought that love, all kinds,
meant giving you're all to someone.
But it doesn't, it means something more.
It means that you give them a piece
of yourself for them to cherish,
and they do the same.

But you can't give something away,
that doesn't exist.
I didn't understand at first,
but now I do.

I never loved myself,
I loved you.
I used to feel I would die
with joy from being around you.

And then I woke up one morning,
and I realized that I did die.

That the every miniscule piece of who I was,
had ceased to exist.
I realized that I was empty,
and always had been.

So instead of killing myself for your love,
I lived for my own.

And now I drive around,
listening to Tom Petty,
wearing red lipstick;
lips wrapped around the back half of a cigarette..

And I am so happy.

I feel free.
I feel like I can conquer anything,
because I escaped a painful death;
a death by you.

But then it was time to say "Hello again.."
and it was harder than goodbye.
It brang back the memories of sadness.
Of lonliness.
Of being afraid.

Then the moment passed...

*And I still feel free.