Every night the moon shines through my window, a new face sleeps on the pillow next to me... a new man, a new one night stand.

Every night the pleasure grows when someone plants their seeds in the garden that never grows, and the shame and grief arise while the pride I once had falls to my feet

I dream of death,
Yes, death.
She visits me in my solitude, in my silence,
She tells me it's not yet time to leave,
But time is of the essence,
And soon I will join her in complete solidarity.

I dream of misery,
Yes, misery.
He visits me in my times of trouble,
He tells me he won't stay long,
But misery loves company,
And soon I will join him in complete solidarity.

I dream of life,
Yes, life.
She often visits me,
She tells me to keep breathing,
she tells me she will come for me one day,

But how can life exist, how can life want someone like me who has already chosen death?

I am an artist,
I paint stories with red ink,
Can I show you a picture,
Can you tell me what you think?

I am an artist,
I paint stories with sharp edges,
I carve into unique places
Some pretty little etches

I am an artist,
I paint stories with death,
She frequently visits me
And takes away my breath

I am an artist,
I paint stories with my skin,
I use a sharp edge,
And a blood red ink

I am delicate,
With one touch I crumble
And fall to the ground.

I am a spineless,
Pusillanimous being
Who yearns for the end.

I am limited,
There isn't much I can do
Except plead with death,

To relieve me of
This earthly life that I hold.
Send me to darkness,

Send me to a place
Where I won't be able to
Feel any more pain.

All I crave is the
Sweet release of death upon
my pathetic soul.

I thought that all I needed was you
But what we had wasn't love, but infatuation
Obsession
A craving for something physical
A craving for a feeling that would only last a little while.
And yet, there I was, giving you all of my heart,
Every ounce of my being was placed in your hands.
And what a mistake that was.
You not only caused pain and misery,
You caused me to lose a part of me that I cannot get back,
No matter how hard I pray and plead.
You made me feel less-
Worthless
Lifeless...
All because of one little touch

Everything is temporary. Everything. From the birds and the bees to the people among them, to the flowers in the soil to the animals in their habitats, everything is temporary. Our lives are temporary, our feelings, our emotions, our possessions, our loves... It's all temporary.

Imagine you're locked in a room. It's pitch black... You can't see anything... But you can feel the presence of something there with you... An unknown presence... That's how I feel

Imagine you're sinking to the bottom of the ocean... Gasping for air but only taking in the salty sea water. You're screaming and thrashing around hoping someone will notice you... But you just keep sinking farther and farther into the big blue unknown... That's how I feel

Imagine you're standing on a cliff... Below you is a dark and never-ending abyss. Behind you stands some stranger with his hand on your back... You're too scared to turn around and you're too scared to jump... You're just waiting for the push that could come at any moment... That's how I feel

Imagine you're on a plane that's falling out of the sky... You're stuck, trapped by the seat belt. You can't do anything but sit there and wait for the crash... That's how I feel

I gave you too much
But the feeling it gave me
Made me feel loved
Even though we never touched
I could still feel your hands caressing me
Your lips on my neck
Your breath on my skin
I could feel your warmth
I want you to hold me
I want you, David
I want you, I need you

How can depression be described?

Some say it is like a storm that will come to pass. But my depression is category five hurricane that makes landfall and never dies off.

Some say it is a struggle. But people overcome struggles. My depression cannot be overcome.

Some say it is like a season of sadness. But to me, the season never ends.

Is depression indescribable?

To me, depression is matter less. It isn’t a being, or an object… It just is.

And nothing can be done to stop it

I once was a girl
Who was young and innocent and carefree  
But something changed within me
And the world turned against me
Ambivalence and dissonance now engulf me,
Creating something of anxiety inside me
I'm drowning in the depression sea
The life inside of me wanting to flee
I'm being attacked by something unseen
The pain and misery I feel
Is something so surreal
But I'm bound to these feelings
I'm anchored to the bottom of the sea
The demons inside me bury me deep...
What have I become?