A girl bathes in the sunlight in a
Bright red bikini - the kind of red of some lipstick that
caught your attention at the mall.
**** the men passing her by, absorbing
every detail of her body.
Few have felt her touch, that
glorious touch. The touch I’ve grown to
hate with everything
I keep bottled up inside. She likes to play
jokes on a hopeful heart; stealing
kisses from the
lips of a boy, still learning to be a
Man- an idea my father
never taught me, not because of a lack of
opportunity, but because he never figured it out himself. She  
played my mind like the piano keys she used to
quell the
reoccurring thoughts in her mind: those of
self-abuse and insecurities.
To feel wanted and loved, she
uses the attention of those staring eyes as she bathes in ultra
violet rays, questioning if the
water is a comfy kind of cold, much like the
X’s and O’s placed lovingly at the bottom of the note that ended
years of dedication, years of forgetting our uncertainties.

Zero degrees couldn’t be colder than that.

Expose your soul to me,
every inch of sincerity,
every kiss of clarity,
without an apology.

you deserve a lover that treats you like the hot sun on their skin. someone who will open themselves entirely just to let you in. a love like rain, soft and gentle; a love like hurricanes, violently passionate. a lover that never imitates the snow. all you want is that sunshine again.

you deserve a gentle lover. selfish enough to want you all to themselves, but not too selfish that they become self-centered. you deserve a lover with a tongue like honey to drip sweet words and sweet kisses on all of the things that you once feared to be too bitter. a lover that runs their fingers in circles at the nape of your neck so you can fall asleep at night. a lover that opens the door when you knock.

you deserve persistent love. not scattered messages and drunken phone calls at four in the morning. but rather, love letters and calls in the evening because your voice is the thing that soothes their soul best. love so fulfilling and reassuring you never have to worry. not even for a moment.

"Swim!" I tell him,
As I drag him down, even further
Into this ocean of addiction.

"Swim, come on you can do this!" he cheers on,
While he slowly pulls me under
And drowns me.