my little princess
love to you
cutest on the earth
loving and careful
my angel of the world
not enough daughter
but as mother
and like friend
hold me
when i feel alone
thanks to you
for giving the proud
to feel special
when you got prize
share your joyness
and special moments with me
love you gurhia
a special hug
for you and only you.

they're nothing but glorified bus drivers*,  said my father after i told him i wanted to become a pilot.

the opposite of love is not hate, but contempt.

what causes the kodachrome to fade little by little to grey? is it really bred of familiarity. the wear of gradually learning the truth about somebody. the minutiae of the everyday sanding away at the idealised, sculpural dream.

or is it triggered rather by the dull shock of an identifiable disappointment; the inevitable transformation towards sallow disgust justified by the devastation of slap-to-the-face betrayal or loss.

must we fulfill the dream simply to learn that it was only ever empty?

my father, a devoutly unspiritual pragmatist, had nevertheless as a young man fallen in love with the expansive embrace of the blue above. the son, grandson, and great-grandson of farmers, he worked his hands down to shredded red sores to put himself though flying school only to have his application for a commercial licence rejected due to a doctor's confounding eleventh hour diagnosis. colour blindness. an all-or-nothing man, my father never once returned to the enthralling blues, yellows and pinks offered up by the cockpit, and from that point forward became a farmer.

i gave up on the thought of becoming a pilot, and later, (much later), developed a fear of flying.

Someone once told me that you'd wash away my sins,
Take away the pain and make me feel good about the skin I'm in.
So if you can here me honestly I don't know how
Or why I'm even worth it, which is why I'm writing this now
Can you hold me? can you love me which has no worth here?
Can you take away my pain?
Can you turn away my rain?
please I know I've been weak and flawed
I know I've kicked scratched and clawed
for the wrong things in life, and in love just to find some sense of power


But I was wondering, Lord, can you hold me now?

You taught me what it felt to be one and the same, with a girl whose smile and perfection is, one and the same.

You taught me how to wish for things we don't need, like a body to hold onto under satin white sheets.

You taught me how to feel accompanied, regardless of the lack of company. Butterfly wings, make me feel crowded enough.

...

And then I realize how long it's been since you've left.  But these are lessons you've taught so well, so I still remember –

How it feels to want to be one and the same, with a girl whose smile makes her mistakes go away.

How it feels to lie alone under satin white sheets, wishing that having you beside me was something I didn't need.

... I still remember when Alexander used to be Alex and Her

... I've never learned how to forget.

I recorded this off the cuff.

http://youtu.be/btVqiO-hgPI

I just want you to know
that
I think about you all the time
and
it doesn't matter what music's playing
I write lyrics to that song
and it's always about you
It's not always love
Sometimes it's pain
Most of the time it's pain
It's regret
about the way I handled
everything that happened
It's about
Wishing that I'd been stronger
It's about
Wishing that
I'd been able to keep it
in my ******* pants
It's about wishing
that I could just be your friend
And let things start over again
It's about wishing that
you'd have wanted to move
a few miles
instead of across half the country
to a state that I know you don't
want to live in
except for him
But it's always about you
I always think about you

With microphone in hand she takes centre stage
you would never think she was seventy, she's never aged
my guess is she will start with a Mozart aria
maybe one of my favorites like Voi che sapete

The surrounding lights do start to dim
this angelic beauty is about to sing
her voice is crisp as a summer's morn
she is shining bright, stealing the limelight

Well it's a Mozart aria, half right
but she starts with Queen of the night
I wonder where she will go from there
singing to perfection, stealing the limelight


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris

When you are as high as I, you can only sit and think
When you are as high as I, you learn to take life slow
When you are as high as I, the length of a day becomes a blink
When you are as high as I, you learn how to take a blow
When you are as high as I, you manage to sleep through every class
When you are as high as I, you can’t shut your mind off at night
When you are as high as I, you find it is hard for you to move your ***
When you are as high as I, you learn it’s best to keep things light
When you are as high as I, you find it easier at night to smoke yourself to sleep
When you are as high as I, you learn to step out and explore
When you are as high as I, you don’t toe the water you go ahead and leap
When you are as high as I, you swear you’ve seen it all before
When you are as high as I, you learn the beauty of a star strewn sky
When you are as high as I, you understand that the music’s always right on cue
When you are as high as I, you learn how it feels to say “Goodbye”
When you are as high as I, you really want to not care how people look at you
When you are as high as I, you want to travel and live life day by day
When you are as high as I, you hunger to make a change
When you are as high as I, you begin to think a whole new kind of way
When you are as high as I, your aspirations are just in range
When you are as high as I, you also come to terms with the dark
When you are as high as I, you are surprised to see so many settle
When you are as high as I, you are determined to leave your mark
When you are as high as I, you can feel the heat beneath the kettle
When you are as high as I, you develop a service attitude
When you are as high as I, it can be so easy to just be lazy
When you are as high as I, you see joy in expressing gratitude
When you are as high as I, you start to feel like you’re crazy
When you are as high as I, you'll find it can be hard for others to understand
When you are as high as I, the length of a day becomes a blink
When you are as high as I, you learn the importance and uselessness of a plan
When you are as high as I, you can only sit and think

I wait
Every endless day
for the time to come
In which I can take
A lovely handful
To take the pain away
To a dull nagging
Instead of
That searing scream
I know so well.