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unknown Aug 2014
**** this ****
I think I'm addicted
Thought I could control it but the brake isn't working tonight
**** my life
Probably ****** my life with this ****
**** this ****
I'm addicted
I never thought I'd fall into this pit
Felt my veins call to me, "You're freakin' killin' us!"

I just wanted to escape
Now it keeps calling my name for another tray
I made a mistake
It's hard to admit it
I'm addicted
**** this ****

Chest in pain
My lungs in flames
I haven't even ate cuz I needed money to feed it's crave

I just wanted a quick escape for the night
I hope this chick thinks it's okay
She's so cute, I don't wanna scare her away with my addiction
I don't wanna admit it but I'm addicted
**** this ****
unknown Feb 2014
How many times
How many times
How many times did I have to write about suicide just so I wouldn't do it?
Like every night.
Convincing myself I didn't like the idea
Flush depression out and it re-ups
Psychiatrists are my dealers
As I’m rhyming this I’m drinking from a tea cup with my demons
I wish you could meet us
But you’d probably have to be us

Your arms are bandages but you’re also what the damage is from
We fight each other like savages
I think our paths were an accident
I don’t think this was suppose to happen at all
cuz we were I was from the back left and you were from the front right
cuz I’m a reclusive going in the wrong direction and you’re naturally in the spotlight going in the right direction
Maybe this is life’s correction
But I won't let you slip by
I wont letch ya’

I’m addicted to you and now I got some sort of home sickness making me feel like **** so ******* for making me love you...
Until you’re close enough for me to hug you again
Psychiatrists are my dealers
Re-ups after re-ups

Up the dosage
Just enough to O.D

Drinking tea cups with my demons
People can meet us
Try to give give us advice but unless they figure out a way to be us,
they’ll never understand
Never understand
Never understand
I swear my angels come and laugh
Until I pull up their masks
Their masks


******* for making me love you
******* for making me love you
**** your for making me love you

Up the dosage

“You’re developing psychosis”

I know this
**** reality
I don’t wanna hold this
Mash up between two poems I wrote that felt incomplete.
unknown May 2014
******* sprinkled with diamonds
That's life in seven syllables
Can we find the diamonds
They're so minimal
I find them in my shoes when I step on ****
and I always feel like it's not ****
But I suppose I'll keep them in my pocket until I slip off the edge into hell
My friend had a blessing and cursing sort of situation and I replied with "Life is ******* sprinkled with diamonds" and decided I should actually write it down and came up with this.
unknown Sep 2014
I’m scared because I’m about to fall
I don’t wanna jump
The dedication makes me ball up
I don’t wanna hit rock bottom then need to crawl back up
What did God draw for my blueprints
Everything built seems to be made of sand
Trying to construct my lands
But it’s all the same
I can barely stand
My head’s spinning
The room’s breathing
The next chapter is teething
The conclusion is teasing
unknown Feb 2014
I lay in my bed and clench my fist
Wondering why I exist
So weak but I still lift the world
My head twirls
I wanna hurl
But not in front of my girl
I wonder if she knows how weak I am
How insecure I am
How much I'm scared of losing her

Always said I hate my father
But I think that's because we're our own worst enemy

I don't know if I'll ever have heaven seen
I claim these bottles are helping me
But it's just a distraction

I sit alone as I clench my fist
Wondering why I exist
So weak but I still lift the world
I'm a clam with a pearl inside
But I refuse to show what's inside
I don't want you to know what really goes on my mind
I don't want you to know that I cry
I don't want you to know I don't lie
Making you believe my compliments I gave to you we're lies
Just so I could get inside
But I secretly hope you realize
They weren't

I fall down as I clench my fist
Wanting to fight
But I finally broke down and this image is at an end
I knew I could never win
These gloves are torn
And my poor soul can't afford more
I'm alone as I clench my fist
So weak and can no longer lift the weight

I get in my knees and pray
I don't know how to or who to but I pray

I find a high branch in the darkest part of the forest
And have the noose take my breath away
Still alone but can no longer clench my fist
Let's see if an afterlife exist
Maybe this life was worthless
And dealing with the pain was worthless
Let's see where my soul exist
My face turns purple like our favorite color
Little things like that, I pray I remember
As I go
Where do I go
I don't know
I wish I could write when I see the light
This is *goodbye
unknown Feb 2014
Ignorant and innocent little girl
Ignorant and innocent little girl
He looked so innocent
Boy were we ignorant

She was sweet
He was sweet
She was a fruit
He was a soft drink

She screamed
He screamed
The difference is her shriek and his devilish release

The cherry
Such a sweet cherry
Stolen and crushed
Innocence stolen
Given a seed that soon breathes

Sweet ignorant and innocent little girl

I hold her as she opens herself
Revealing every warm bleeding wound, even the ones she's inflicted on herself
She wants my help
I'm no doctor
But I'll give the wounds a press
And purchase with my pocket lint some bandages

Sweet little girl
No longer ignorant or innocent
He seemed so innocent
Boy were we ignorant
I know multiple **** victims and I just wrote something all of them shared in common.  Being very young and ignorant of the idea of *** and abused by someone they should have been able to trust.
unknown Mar 2014
I feel like a pregnant chick from planet X went to space
And for some reason it was safe
But the ship wasn't
She gave birth and the ship shakes
It hit an asteroid and the ship breaks
Like the grip of the baby and mother
And the baby was caught in the gravity of a different planet and landed in a boat

Caught by one of the pirate folks with the power of the mother's hope
But distracted by this marvel they hit an iceberg and the captain died
and some guy put me in a glass barrel
And I just stared at the sky
Upset and hungry with a ***** diaper
Until I swiped up on an island of this world

Then I got adopted by some humans
Man I have no idea what I'm doin'
My natural instincts tell me to do and make what there already isn't
But these guys are about the materialism
I didn't really have any intention of this poem coming out the way it did which why I love it. My favorite crafts are the unintended ones. I was simply just writing what was on my mind in scraps and suddenly I noticed how well it would have fit to put the first two stanzas together and just fixed it to be a story of how I feel out of place in this world.
unknown Jun 2014
Always look in multiple perspectives to view the full picture.
If you are quick to judge
you're basing your judgement off a cropped version of the picture.
When you walk around the picture
you begin to realize it is three dimensional.
You will become
enlightened
when you finally introduce yourself to the new details and to what the picture truly is.
unknown Feb 2014
Things got rough
And you told me,
"Sometimes love isn't enough."

Then what is love really worth?
unknown May 2014
I'm no man
You must understand
If you thought emotions clash
You need to get head straight woman
I'm with you because you're shallow
I can see the catfish in your shadow
The **** is wrong with you woman?

You text my phone
Saying you love me and I say it back but you don't know
It's a lie, you got a man
I could never trust you, you must understand
What's wrong with you women?
I'm with you because you're shallow
I can see the catfish in your shadow
The **** is wrong with you woman?

How can you love me
Elsa, what do you know of my nasty habits
When you learn you may become damaged
But you signed the contract
Don't try to tear it
You were never a merit
I'll never cherish you
I've only had one to love
And love is a drug
You never get that first high twice
So all you future girls, you ain't ****
I was listening to The Doors and my ex girlfriend messaged me on Facebook. She was who introduced me to The Doors and perhaps the only girl I've never loved and still think about and this just came out.
unknown Aug 2014
I didn't know what love was until she looked away as I passed her...
I was originally gonna share my experience but I feel like this is all that needs to be said.
unknown Feb 2014
There was a wall of soil.
A bright sun kept it warm.
But the darkness of the vacant, roofless room made the growth hurt
when a lone flower spurt from the fertile earth.
The flower prayed every night for the Sun's light.
Blinded by the night, the flower was unable to see it's shadow to show his rising height.
No mirrors or a filled flowered field to observe or compare it's growth.
The flower didn't see how much the darkness made him grow until the Sun was out.
That's how he found out he was taller now but falsely credited the Sun.
*The gift and curse of the wallflower.
unknown Sep 2014
There was a once upon a time about a little bird in a secret rhyme
It was nestling with its brothers and sisters then got caught in the wind’s flight
And hit the rocks below
Paralyzed in fright until he spotted a cloud and flapped for the sky
Desperate for the soft haven
Worn to the day’s end
Fleshed hands offer aid to the bird
He went berserk in fear and fell with a broken wing
Staggering away tightly holding its hopes and dreams in it’s stuttering beak
One day fleshed hands alleviated the pain
the bird grew love with the creature but soon it’s déjà vu and back to the plains
Still seeking the haven’s staircase
So he climbed the highest mountain
Gained elevation but the distance is still astoundin’
So he took the leap of faith
Spread his wings and this day he finds his believed faith and floats through it with disappointment
The thought to be home is not to be appointed and joined in
So he aims for the sun until the wings give and the ground is hit
Too bad he’ll never live to explore the world in a bird’s eye view as I’ve always wished
unknown Aug 2014
He's still trailing in every thought you have
And I'm here as a clutch for you to grab
I make you laugh
And soon enough I'm leaving my handprint on that ***
And you ask

"What the **** are we?"

You forgot all about him and now all you think about
is me
I snuck my way into that *****
And now all you want is me
All you want is me

I might take you under my wing
But I warn you, I do get bored
I've made the lives of plenty of ******
And you're such a nice girl
I'm too caring to ruin your world
So I'll manipulate you enough to convince you my
exit was with good intentions
Don't question
Just let it happen
I hope you never read this ****

I love you right now
I really do, I really do
But not forever
I love you right now
I really do, I really do
But not forever
Never forever

— The End —