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Click, Click, Click, up the hill we go,                                                              ­       hands  in the air, my hearts in my throat                                                           ­                                  You  make  me  feel  like  I'm the only one                                                              ­                           I  don't  want  to  walk,  I want to run                                                              ­   Honeymoon phase, every single day                                                       Wine  and red roses, as you love bomb me away                                                             ­                                                The  hot  turns to  cold, as  you  silently  retreat                                       ­     patiently,  I give you the space you need                                                           Angry outbursts, I do nothing right                                                            ­         back to back is how we sleep at night                                                            ­ Holding on as we quickly  descend                                                 ­                     white  knuckle ride of pure emotions                                                         ­ screeching halt as the ride abruptly ends                                                  lurching forward , brakes hitting bents                                                            ­  The ride is over as quickly as it begins                                                           ­               Emotional  roller coaster , unrestrained and intense
If I told our story out loud,  it would be the truth                                                            ­                                           If  I  broke  down and  cried, there would be proof                                                            ­                  If  I  hadn't  chosen  to  hide , hadn't  swallowed  my pride                                                            ­                             I've  kept  all  my  pain inside, repeated your  alibis                                                     ­                 No  one  really  has  ever known                                                            ­             I' m  living  in a  **** show                                                             ­   All  of  the  secrets and all of your lies                                                             ­      are  killing  me  quietly  from  the inside                                                           ­ Smiling, make-up  carefully applied                                                          ­ hiding  the bruises that you've supplied                                                         ­ Perfect life, perfect wife, what a **** lie                                                              ­                       I  am  hiding  the  nightmare  that is my life                                                             ­                                                    Saying  the words out loud  shines light on the truth                                                            ­                                          exposes  the ugliness that came from loving you
Sometimes  true love is not enough                                                           that  chapter in life can be so tough                                                            ­for  even  true  love can run its course                                                          cause  destruction with a gale force                                                           The  years can take its toll on you                                                         make  you  feel like you've been abused                                                  leaving you empty and feeling bruised                                                          ­ you  end up hurt and  confused                                                    ­  It's  not  the  way it's written in fairy tales                                                     it  can leave wounds in your heart like rusty nails                                        Keep   somethings    just  for  yourself                                ­               things  you don't share with anyone else                                                             ­                                          Be  your  own  real true love                                                             ­         that  love is always good enough                                                         If  another  love comes along                                                            ­    remember to keep your self-love strong
It seems like you have had a change of heart                                                            ­                                    want  me  to  think you don't want to tear me apart                                                            ­                                        Now  you  want me to forgive and to forget                                                    that you stabbed my heart with a bayonet                                                          ­                                          It  wasn't  until I put my foot down                                                       told  you I was through and stood my ground                                       That  you knew I was telling you the truth                                           that  I  was really over me and you                                                     Now  you're acting like you are a changed man                                 You  have seen the light, you give a ****                                                             ­                           You  want  the  chance  to  prove  your love again                                                            ­                      Given  up  on  all  your selfish demands                                                          ­ Be who I need you to be as a man                                                         That  I  was right and you understand                                                     but  there  is something that I didn't forget                                                          believing  in your lies is my biggest regret
Rainy days and weekends, reflections of my life,                                                            ­                                               are  coming at me in waves, bitter as brine                                                            ­                                 Sadness  washes  over me , life is just too much                                                             ­                                       I'm  leaning  into every emotional crutch                                                           ­                          Worry  keeps  me  pacing  the  floor all day                                                              ­ Every  night  I  lay  awake  just  to  pray                     ­                             don't  know how long I can go on this way,                                           I'm  letting sadness  carry me away                                                      I  know  that soon I will see better days                                                               but  I  am just a mere human anyway
I've given myself permission to just be me                                                               ­                                          to  accept  myself as I am unjudgementally                                                  ­       to  look at my reflection and like what I see                                                       to  open  up  my                                   mind  to  loving  myself  wholly                                 ­                  to  seeing  all  the  things I do as natural for me                                                               ­                           and  stop  trying  to  do  what's expected of me                                                               ­                                to  accept  my  flaws  as parts of me                                                               ­ and  to love myself unconditionally                                                  ­    to  open  up my heart without fear                                                             ­         to  cry openly and to shed my tears                                                            ­to  put myself out there honestly                                                         ­        to  be all  that I am meant to be                                                               ­       to  stop  living for others and to put me first                                                       to  realize  I have value and what I am worth
Women, mothers, often give all of themselves to others to make them happy. I wrote this in 2014 when I was still doing that. I am happy to say I am now making myself happy and discovered I am worthy.
The crisp smell of Fall is in the air                                                              ­      smoke  from chimneys emit everywhere                                                       ­  Children  wrapped  up in sweaters tight                                                            ­                           Vibrant  leaves  dancing in the sunlight                                                         ­ Pumpkins  carved with smiling faces                                                            ­ Children  running through corn mazes                                                           Honeycrisp apples and hay rides                                                            ­         Mulled cider waiting inside                                                           ­Haunted  houses and nature walks                                                     Bonfires  burning and harvesting crops                                                            ­  As  the  north winds usher in November                                                         ­                    these  are  the  things  I will always remember
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