everywhere I go
there is time
on my computer
via internet
on the radio marked
hour by hour
by DJ’s with nothing better
to do than spin three minute tunes
on my alarm clock
on all the clocks
in all the rooms in my house
on the cooker
in my car
on my phone
time is everywhere
except with me
sometimes I have to escape
and forget it exists
slowly and quietly
eroding my life
marking my days
sometimes I just want to be late
as though it doesn’t matter
and nobody minds

she arranged the words
like dying flowers in a vase
what once were beautiful blooms
full of meaning
a representation of their passion
had become just the same old letters
there to approximate
an emotion
putting the less shabby
to the front
hoping to gently communicate
that the whole ****** thing
was doomed to dust

we have no fins
yet are drawn to the sea
we have no wings
and yet take to the skies
not content to be where
evolution put us
we invade worlds
where we don’t belong
without understanding
the one we were granted

this is what it’s come to
my wife is at college upstairs
sitting on the bed
with sixteen other people
virtually on her laptop
my daughter late for her lesson
at college
without the excuse of
missed buses or traffic
she got stuck in the kitchen
talking to her boyfriend
on WhatsApp
I’ve booked an appointment
at the doctors
on zoom to diagnose
a worrying mole
that’s giving me grief
and I might facetime my dad later
the only time I see him
for real nowadays
virtual love
virtual hugs
how do you date in a pandemic
I wonder
looking for someone to share
the end of days with

we are all anonymous now
not even a face in the crowd
defined by the mask we wear
rather than the one we hide behind
eyes open to the world
staying alert to danger
our breath filtered just in case
we’re the enemy everyone’s looking for
our smiles are silenced
our glares turned to frowns
friends become strangers
we are all clowns
family and allies
our new kind of tribe
supporting our bubble
that’s both strong and fragile
this is the aftermath fallout
where beauty and ugliness
stand side by side
walking in unison
stride for stride

butterfly
in the killing jar
made object
made art
preserved perverse pleasure
collected
displayed as though
some great master
to prove the beauty of nature
pushed one more step
into extinction
pretty colours are there
for camouflage
from idiots/predators
to keep the bounty of nature
outdoors
for everyone
to enjoy

you have to have some belief
in yourself
without arrogance
hold yourself against the hurricane of life
lean into it
but try to make it natural
when asked about your achievements
speak quietly succinctly
don’t waste your words
on mindless fantasies be honest
but at the same time be a little proud
mention the good points
leave out the embarrassing bits
talk about the struggle
they like that
to see you’ve suffered
earned it
be a voice in a room
not a face in the crowd
be remembered when you walk away
let the wind carry you
under your tiny wings