They say
if you fold a thousand paper stars
It'll make your wish come true
But it seems no matter
How many I fold
I'm still unable to be beside you

I'll fold them gently
Full of colors so bright
Softly and patiently
Till they are perfect and right

I wish and I hope
With all of my might
Though its seemed I'm lost
Within the dark of the night

Lucky stars
Made from paper
Strips with written meanings
Delicately placed within a glass bottle
Filled with my heartfelt feelings

Folding and bending
Changing the paper at will
To form a fragile little star
Let this small insignificant thing
Give me reason to move on
Allow it to give me faith to believe
To believe in this delusional dream

Why now?
Out all these months, All this time
Why is it now that you think its okay to jump back into my life?
You vanish, I cut off everything for you
I left my heart behind in the dirt
I buried my love six feet underground
To forget you, like you forgot me
But here you are again
Acting as if nothing has changed
My phone gleaming with your messages
And I respond to you in a heartbeat
I have no self control
You're stirring up a storm
Though you don't know the effect
This intoxicating feeling you give to me
With a single word or a call
It sends my heart into flutters
I love you
No, I did love you
I need to stop this now
I can't fall back in again not after everything
Not after what I went through to get out
It hurts too much to try again
but everything about you draws me in
Your striking blue eyes that seem to mirror the sky
Long wavy hair, in a Carmel brown
Soft to the touch, gently running through my fingers
It sends a shiver down my spin to think
But its forbidden to return to that place
To that state of mind and time
We removed that memory
Along with our existence
So why is it now
Why now have you come back?


Please don't come back
because I am still
Unable to Resist

#

You know....
I've changed in these past months
I didnt think you would notice
My speech and personality has escalated
It seems I've lost my focus

I'm empty from the longing
The airy feeling left in my chest
I'm speaking to you with no feeling
Surely I would jest

Its scary to think how much I cared
Everything I sacrificed
All the things I did for your sake
To think I was satisfied

You were like a sweet chocolate
Melting on my tongue
Only to reveal bitterness
Which kind of stung

I can't say I regret it though
Giving you all my time
I would do it all over again
Even if my love isint worth a dime

You know...
I've really grown
Since you left me here alone
I've managed to take your lead
But my sins will not be atoned

Now if I could really go back
I dont think I could
As I have friends that love me now
Life right now is good

I learned from you
And what we had
I noticed now
That our relationship was bad

You know...
Thought its labelled like that
As toxic and deadly
I still loved every moment
You were the first to hold me steady

The first to make me feel such want
intoxicated by the love we had
Drunken off our hearts beating in sync
Even if that was what caused us to sink

We sunk into the depth below
Further down then any man was willing to go
Freely falling into timeless space
throwing away the cruel reality that we both refused to face

You know...
By our ending
Where our ties became undone
Our final page was turned
And the ink had run to none
I loved you

With everything I had
I counted the Stars
Praying for a wish
a wish for eternity to be like this

Though silly wishes that are made upon stars
Dont last for eternity
And they tend to leave nasty scars
Though you left me
My feelings never changed
Even if the curtains have fallen upon the stage

You know....
The play does go on

Every time the rain comes down
Gently pattering on the rooftops
Cold and yet so peaceful
When everything just seems to stop

I'll be there on your doorstep
Ready to take your hand
To warm your broken heart
Allowing you to withstand

Every time the rain comes down
I'll be there by your side
Fluffy blankets and hot coco
I promise you will be safe and dry

I'll be the knight that guards your door
So you may sleep pleasantly at ease
I'll chase away the demons
At last you may have some peace

Every time the rain comes down
I promise I will be around
Don't worry for I'll protect you
This storm will simply pass through

It'll be okay
As it cant rain forever
Dark gloomy clouds will pass us by
After the rain things always get better

On the pole
I dance
Wild and free
Doing flips
And tricks
For all to see

On the pole
I forget
The harsh reality
Embraced in music
I can truly be
Carefree

On the pole
I can pretend
To be anybody at all
Elegantly entwined
Both body and soul
This Persona of mine
Who's not afraid to fall

On the pole
I dance
My wildest dreams
Feeling the lyrics
Of a song
Synching my Heart
To each beat

On the pole
I Dance
Within a room
Filled by stars
Gleaming with light
Portraying the beauty
Of the night

On the Ground
I land
Perfectly safe and sound
No applause but silence
Littered all around
Looking into the mirror
I'm standing there proud
There's nobody but me
Outterly spellbound

On the pole

#

He was my first
Love
My first
Heartbreak

He was the first
Boy who made me smile
Yet
Cry a thousand tears

He was the first boy
To keep me awake all night
That left me
Feeling hopeless but full of light

He was the first
Sunset at the dawn
Glowing with colours so bright
But he was also quite capable
Of being the terrors of the night

He was warm
Chocolate brown eyes
His smile set blaze to my heart
But all while tearing it apart

He was cold
Stringing me along for fun
Yet even so I loved him
I never wanted to run

He was a mixture
Of bitter and sweet
Just one taste
Had my knees falling weak

He was my oxygen
The air that I breath
Without him
I was consumed by grief

Though now
As I walk these halls
I know to him
I mean nothing at all

He was the first boy
Who left meaning in my heart
I'll always have a soft spot for him
Eternalized within memory as the boy who was once my sweeheart