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  Sep 2018 Alexander T
heather mckenzie
i don’t think I found myself in the poetry, i think i am finding myself in your arms
under the gentle pressure of your fingertips and the velvet embrace of your words.
they think I found myself in the halls of the airport that it walked alone
but
i think i am finding myself in the kitchen of your flat, waiting for the kettle to come to a boil; in cups of tea nursed at the table and I hope that’s okay.
i sip in the same tentative manner that i reach for your hand in the dark; you may have the effervescent beauty of a tree in the autumn but right now i would like to lace my fingers with yours and be human together. i hope that’s okay.
you are like literature and myth; a deep and sprawling spectrum of contradictions and complexities. i feel like teiresias; blind and trapped within my own self-made cocoon of spiralling thoughts.
eyes closed i reach for your hand.
i almost miss my stop on the last train home spilling out sweet words about your everything.
her hair straight out of bed with soft eyes and parted lips, sculpted by aphrodite; carved from the finest marble i want her to pin me down,
to the bed, to reality-
her lips, to guide me
from her waist and back
to sanity. early in the morning
when she wakes up tangled in sheets
with her eyes peeking up over her phone,
soft smile on her lips.
the world stands still in the soft glow of flickering street lights like visible heartbeats, glowing and not glowing in tandem, and the windows are frosted along the edges; worrying a cracked lip between my front teeth i realise this may be the most I have ever thought about tea.
our fingers
tangle, grasp sheets or cheeks rosy
with first-kiss smiles. eyelids
crinkle.
you are butterflies in my stomach, fear and exhilaration, honesty and hope
you are
listening to the same song on repeat; your laugh is the song stuck in my head, every song i’ve ever loved,
the only song i want to listen to.
Alexander T Sep 2018
there is another thing that I cant unsee
my brother smile
when he used to see me

he used to smile
but now its clouds

I hurt him so much
I cant even begin to describe what he could feel

his smile was so childish
so amazing
and in less than a second
it vanished
into something...
indescribable

I am full of guilt
I am a criminal
I stole his happiness
I stole his dreams

Im so sorry bro
I wish I could take it all back

me even saying that im sorry isnt enough
nothing is enough anymore
you deserve such a better life

if you can still live
than please do,
but I know that that's venturing quite far

my sad brother
im sorry for the pain that I have caused for you
I should have never done it
I had no brain
no thoughts
no empathy
I never thought

that smile
it used to be so bright
I turned it off faster than a blink
can I even explain this
am I even at liberty
  Sep 2018 Alexander T
Raj Bhandari
GIRL,JUST PROVE IT THAT WE WERE ALL WRONG,
JUST FIGHT IT OUT AND YOU WILL
EMERGE STRONG !!
Alexander T Sep 2018
ups and downs
rights and wrongs
ill pull through
look at me now
you see better
you see a little happiness
coming through the dark
I write poems just talking to the girl
  Sep 2018 Alexander T
Esther
just in case
you’re in a dark place
and can’t seem
to find a light switch
or matches even
I want you to know
you are loved
maybe not by yourself
yet
but you are
even though it sounds
like a fairytale for now
at some point
you’ll find the light switch
or the matches
and you’ll be able to see
that the fairytale
came true
and you’re the one
that made it happen
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